Little window, FB

Tonight's internet experience: out of all the FB friends, the one who is most in need of medical treatment (and luckily has insurance,) seemed to be the most disappointed about Coakley losing. Because she cares! Another FB friend has orders to assist (though at this time not actually travel to) Haiti. And...some pictures just now fell out of the top of my closet. It is not so happy, this idea of things falling down. I thought so long ago and now I am reminded. But here and now, these were just some old pictures in a plastic container...Maybe I'll put one up...one of these days. If I can scan any. Guess that for now, I'll just pick them up.
Well, thank you for falling down like that. Peru pictures.
Also my other friend (who I actually strangely dreamed about being with me as she was dangling from a cliff a few sleeps ago, yeah, great, really thank you for falling down, box of photos) is doing more gardening projects!
A dream I wrote about on June 24, 2008 was a good one.

Let us see

what wikipedia has to say to us about bras, shall we?

This I just read

I watched the trailer for Brazil for some reason. But before that...
Break-in, Clementines, Postcard, Juggling.
Ah, Clementine.
Ah, Clementine.

This Year

For various reasons, I forsee myself getting rid of even more things that I have some attachment to but probably don't really need and I will learn to live with less, yes. Maybe that will be freeing.

TV oh TV

Fine form I was in for watching Jon Stewart and Colbert this evening. Among other things, I got to see a citizen pontificating on the greatness of her moment as an African American woman voting against same sex marriage in New Jersey, and a MUST-SEE musical number by Mr. C and Philip Glass for President O. with an awesome cat playing the piano. I love you. Not only that, but yesterday I could while away the time by pondering who it would be more awful to be stuck in traffic with, this crazy lady from Trading Spouses or Karen the Bridezilla.
Or a few horrible customers I have encountered.
Or a few coworkers on a few bad days.
Yay, Waitress. ;-]

The last CD I bought

I bought it in Sedona. It was the newest one by this guy: Wolf's Robe.
He said that traditionally there were many ceremonies for the men, to get them in touch with the more feminine side of themselves. Women as "live-givers" were considered to be more advanced than the men, and men as "life-takers" had to go through ceremonies to advance themselves.
(And with music!!!!)
~~~~~
On a different topic, I just read about Miep Gies. Now I am also remembering another book, another, and another. Weird. There's this actress, I recall a friend telling me she was her boyfriend's cousin, she was in this movie, and that was about the time I was reading them...Also I read books about ballerinas. And, oh, when I was younger, there were some illustrations of this book on a PBS show. Honestly, it can be spooky to think about the past. (Well, Adios, past!) Ack. Yesterday they were circulating some petition flyers at the public library. More budget cuts. (Maybe people should read nature more than words then. If they can!!!)

D. M. in Mehico?

Telenovela inspired perhaps?
Or something out of the "Old West" concept.
Personal Jesus video.

Messiah complex

Shall I enjoy this movie anyway?
There's not only white versions out there though.
People are still so uncomfortable with feminism.
I did enjoy getting sucked into Field of Dreams on TV a few hours ago.

D-words

Divinity, damnation, disgust, despair.
Yesterday I heard a story of a girl I used to work with (at the restaurant) who comes from a completely wacked-out family and just got pregnant by some guy who accuses her of wanting to ruin his life. Nice, right? Sometimes I think I hate tea partyers. I think I can easily hate people who are insensitive to poor people. And I think our president is not like that.

Colorful complications

Arise in communications, children, family/societal roles and such. I was thinking about this because a bunch of people I know had kids this year. (And unlike in the past, they were all women gave birth and it was all around the end of 2009.) Everyone acts differently about this. Some people are amazingly laid back, some are grateful but seem to be quite stressed, and some are in between. Some people have kids and marry early. Some never do either. Some adopt kids because they can't have their own. Some have a spouse to help them and some don't have that. Some people have large extended families around them and some do not. Some people care for all kinds of people and just not their own offspring. Everyone has different stories...

Sedona Excentric

Finally getting a chance to catch up on all that travel literature.

I think I am an American

One of these days I'm gonna go visit Binghamton, NY. I was a loyal little Latham-Albany-New Yorker when I was eight. And I hung out with Ph.D.s in bars in my mid-twenties, and thought about Italian and Irish and Greek diners, and Cixous and Christine and crumbling architecture. Messed up medievalists who liked drugs. Less messed up people who lived with gospel musicians. And I rode carousels all summer, and didn't sleep until 4 a.m. because that's when the apartment finally cooled down. And I drove to wacky little places that I sometimes didn't even know were actually in "Pennsyltucky." I could have lived there, actually, for longer. But I didn't. And I'm going to go back to Chicago, too. Most recently I saw Sedona. And L.A.'s suburbs. I passed little houses with Mexican music emanating from them on the way to a grocery store with a counter that sold foods like "lengua" and neighbors wished me "Happy New Year" and also I saw fake grass and palm trees and saguaros and solar wind farms. And "In and Out."

Beautiful movie

with beautiful award-winning (ha ha) music: Once.

At 4:20

I love staring at the flowers on the filmy black fabric which drapes the window glass in the late after noon light before the sun goes down.

Cover

Sinfonia Agridulce

Dpm

Accidental title!
"Dpm" has multiple meanings.
Isn't plurality nice?
But this was little Miss Negative Mind's original intention:
DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE.......
SOME PEOPLE.
Very, very plural.

Michigan

Yesterday I was talking to a girl who, like me, has family members in Michigan. She said she thinks Michigan sucks. I do not agree, and moreover, I just found a fun post about Michigan.

Possibly for all cities

Humans may perceive themselves to be involved in a kind of hub of excitement and activity. But then, the humans can also choose to shovel a pathway out, and to seek something quieter.

Kinds of people you want to meet

Something to think about for the New Year.
Kinds of people
Kinds of music
Kinds of color
Kinds of food
Kind

A Holiday...

Thinking about the hotel being a "hellhole," while peeling a tangerine, getting pounced on by an energetic puppy, laughing so hard it turns to hysterical crying, running to the kitchen, where the puppy still jumps up and standing by the counter, crying and trying to finish the fruit.
And other stuff is too tiring to write about.
But the cheap version of Irish cream in that glass tonight tastes nice!!!

Can I go out on a limb...

Sometimes i just love music.

Amusing!

And a source of sea shanties, too.
http://artofmanliness.com/
I also want to try an Italian beef giardiniera hot pepper sandwich...

Finer media moments

Watched the "Meet the Natives" finale last night, and then today I found "Hole in the Donut Travels." Hah!

Still like

some books I bought in my twenties, like Blue Jean Buddha and Body Outlaws. (I read the second edition, which has the best cover, in my opinion.)

Mmmm

Greens, water, tangerine, and herbal tea are some examples of what I need to consume after too much holiday baked goods and sugar! Yes, now I can breathe more easily, and electric light is not stressing me out anymore.

Winter music

Icicle
Icicle
(Icicle)
Icicle.
Doughnut Song!

This and that

This Brittany Murphy article and that video and these Gia quotes and this show and this interview. Kind of makes me feel like we live in a society that values women on an extremely mediocre and superficial level. In a box of conformity, the sexuality/physicality trend of the moment. A sick, sick, sick society. Honest to god, it makes no sense. I'm also vaguely remembering a dream last night, that had something to do with libraries, museums, and wanting to walk streets safely at night, and another girl or woman telling me that this wasn't fair.

Rather exciting

This is what was exciting to me: my sophomore year roommate, an exchange student from Japan, "friended" me and I got in touch with her freshman year roommate and mine! (3 from college, total.) Two of the girls are studying divinity! I know we all have different beliefs and takes on religion, but for some reason I think that's cool. Now I'm going to check out my freshman roommate's blog. Yay!!! (The happy sort of exciting.)
~~~~
COPS: This is not as relevant to the title of the post, but my friend wrote about the unfortunate snowball fight and you can hear her voice quite well in the clip on this page. She sounds quite reasonable compared to the guy who keeps yelling "F--- you pig." (The whole thing sounds crazy. Snowball fights are better off at parks then near busy streets with stressed out drivers.) But it was also discussed in the Post. So I guess that's that.
Also, the male-dominated jury sucks. So does the lawyer, who is someone's DAD. Alright that's enough internet for me.

Sea stuff

Seasongseasongseasongseasongseasongseasongseasongseasongseasong
A shame a woman I know is going to move away from the sea, but she has some good reasons. The sea is bellisima. An artist says that Christmas carols were once sea shanties. Sometimes I have driven around the suburbs and felt that I wanted to be in a wilder place (but where I could still drive) and then stop somewhere for fish and chips. I've thought of myself as perhaps once living in another body in the 20th century and speaking to a man, and playing that game with the wooden triangle with pegs in it that you might find at some of those places. But it would either be in a restaurant or on a boat. There there is the idea of living someplace around the Netherlands long ago and ships were very important. I got this feeling when I was a small child and looked at a large barrel. We were not near the sea, but on a field trip to go to an apple picking place. Maybe it was on a misty, watery morning. Now I think I like a song called Sea Song.

It's the most, blizzardful time...

Staying home all day, eating my roommate's mushroom turnovers. I went to neither of my jobs. I just found out that my father, who came down to visit me and then my sister, has been on the road since 10:30 am yesterday and is finally going to stop at a hotel. My roommate called out to me and we saw a friend on TV. Still ABC since last night. Something about a snowball fight, a political protest, and a cop pulling out a gun. I think if I were stranded for hours and hours in a storm, I'd have gone to a hotel sooner. I might get a jar or cup to put in my car. For, um, emergencies. Also the kitty litter and snow shovel. I have almost exhausted my supply of tangerines, oh no! I'm going to google weather conditions on I-77 and 33.

Tonight

I'm so pleased I made it home after a horrible experience driving home from work, especially on Arlington's non-plowed, non-salted roads. Even though I traveled a "red" road on their snow map, which supposedly means that it's a priority. That was a steep, busy road and cars were going everywhere. It was truly terrible. It took me three times longer to get home than usual. VDOT plowed roads were better but still tricky to traverse.
At least I had a religious experience. Meaning I talked to angels and sang the refrain of "How Great Thou Art." HAH. Then I came home and watched Tori Amos on nightline. I'm very grateful I got home. Now I'm going to bed.

Referrals

By NPR a few days ago: Raising the Global Floor.
By me now: Perelandra in Winter.

Also reading

Flower Cookery.
Several weekends ago it cost two dollars at a garden/park visitor's center.

Literary Sunday

I've been meaning to watch all of Never Cry Wolf again, but haven't gotten to it yet. I wonder if I would like to read Steppenwolf? Right now I am almost finished with Zami.

Considerations

Easily save money on a slow day off: chew gum and drink tea all day.
Then, have a "sensible dinner." (I hate going to bed hungry!)
And, for all of us with health insurance challenges: Edgar Cayce stuff.
~~~~~
Minaret bans: too ridiculous. Even a Baptist newspaper thinks so.
I like posts with "witch" pictures and "weenie roast" in the title. Among others. And it was also good to read some positive news. The sad little stereotype which I found to be true in grad school was that women will read books highlighting either men or women, but many men will not find books about women (I think of Song of the Water Saints) to be sufficiently engaging. This was true among almost all male students, some female students, and also male TAs who told me "it was emotionally draining to read" and the "students didn't like it" and they "didn't think the professor liked it." (And, they didn't like it.) Sad.
I do still like some "men's adventure" stories. Like Never Cry Wolf.
~~~~
On second thought, I may cut short today's "tea and chewing gum" fast.

perhaps

I think it might be amusing to mix "Old Man" with "Wuthering Heights."
I think it might be amusing to mix "Old Muppet, look at your life, you're a lot like..." with a really screechy, like almost a young (but slightly more melodious) Edith Bunker, singing "it's meeee I'm Catheeee..."
(Red Dress.)

wouldn't it be better

to live someplace with much less traffic and many more trees?

something to see again!

Saw it in Jr. High. I had a cool history teacher. She showed us slides of her trip to India and made us read Newsweek together as a class and showed movies like this one:
Never Cry Wolf.

To me

Cadets left with "a real clarity..." was very frustrating to read.
The saddest photo in this album.

Nonshy

Isn't that a funny word? I read it in a book about highly sensitive people. The author was differentiating between an "HSP" and a "shy" person. Some people could be both, of course, in different situations. However, what's fun about the word is when I look at it, I want to pronounce it as "non-she" and I think of it also as a combination of nonchalant and sassy.

Kind of dodgy day.

Just get the dodgy parts out of the way. Cleaning, bills, bleah. Hearing about illness in family always worries me. Once again, I'm reminded that even though part of me misses some of what I got out of graduate school, stories like this (and this!) remind me of how negative things could get. Lastly, and unrelated to me personally, I simply cannot believe this. HUH. But, I can still be welcoming of harmonious change and order and new things into life...Yes!!!!!
Off to do some cleaning.

Cool last night

I woke from my dream of saving someone like my sister by pulling her out of a mucky sink drain and the face in the muck became beautiful and blue, and saying "I love you" (by smiling at me as I said "I love you") and then my eyes were fuzzy with sleep and I was actually terrified to almost imagine myself a big Christmas ornament type angel in front of my closet. Not because the bright, empty, but beautifully lit angel was bad at all, but because sometimes you get scared of what you don't expect to see. She seemed to have a little star wand in her right hand. Then I rolled over and closed my eyes so as not to see it, but I didn't feel bad, and went into a beautiful, peaceful sleep.
~~~~~~
That's a Lady in Blue song. That's a Lady in Blue song.

One of the interesting

blogs I've stumbled across drew me into several of it's stories today, like
Doll Calling, Be Like The Water, Toads, To S., Good Friends, Gift, The Ghost. (Wait, more on class here and here, here.)
I think when I was growing up, my environment was sometimes upper/middle to lower/middle class. I have no clue about what a "soccer mom" is, for example. A mom who has a lot of free time and doesn't have to go to work outside the home, I guess! (Although, personally, if I have kids I want them to be able to take sports, dance, art, music lessons or whatever they want to do, because we couldn't, but I also hope they learn to cook for themselves and sew, and work for money. Anyways, if I'd been playing soccer, maybe I wouldn't have done so much reading!)
Stripper 's Tarot. Another Day. Song for Vietnam Vets. Fearless.
The journey to the blog was interesting. It went: facebook, this article, googling about nature foraging and finding this herbal school, this person, and then her blogroll led me to it. And I'm feeling divinely guided because (I just realized) the column that started the search is the same as the title of a book that I slipped into the library's bookdrop today.

Ah, old photos.

Adorable kid. Adorably sulky teenager. Adorably smiley teenager, too! Adorable adult...
Close to you...
(Now I'm curious about "MirrorMask.")

Da.

Unlike last year, I did pretty good on Nanowrimo, which for me is nanoflashmicrowhateverwrimo. But I still have several thousand words to go. Possible topics: Swearing so much makes you more angry! Who likes a healthy dose of PTSD over the holidays? People's whose kids aren't old enough to join the army. Chaperoning: not just for the parents anymore! Acidic foods affects on the tongue.

Pizza box

So the other day, after just listening to a bit of book on CD by Javier Sierra, yes, I picked it up because of Lady in Blue, I find myself looking at a pizza box that asks me if I'm ready for a bit of blue in my life? That's like when I walked into the room and saw a documentary on Eisenhower after rereading Dancing in the Shadows...
Other curiosities: Rabbit in the Moon and dancingrabbit.org.

Messages and collaborations

Consider the chances of what kinds of music videos will seem better as more voices get heard and time goes on. Will fantasy or truth be more powerful? 3 guys and one girl made this I'll Do Whatever U Like video; it does not thrill me, because I cannot buy into the fantasy. I hate the first 30 seconds, especially. To me, this shaky Me and a Gun video, or even this one of Tori and "Pip," while not most suited for some people, is better.
In this version of Cruel, she makes the Nine Inch Nails concert that I attended in highschool look like a tranquil experience. This too.

For future reference

because I will be able to listen to them on another computer:
"las mujeres" playlist
sexy christmas music
F--- you, flash player non-compatible with Mac OS X 10.3.9

Also, you know

Kind of in my mind over the last 24 hours or so:
Fire To Your Plain
Invincible-Metro Times
Sledgehammer

What was rustling in the woods tonight?

A: Magnificent winter deer with incredibly huge antlers.

Hopefully still around...

I need to find my old childhood photos. I just realized that they are not in the tin that I thought they were in. This gave me kind of a bad butterfly, icy-feeling-in-the-chest feeling. But surely they are still around!

Strangest 4 of an album

(To me, on Monday morning.)
Give, Fast Horse, Lady In Blue, Starling

It's like, one of those cool songs...

Found one today! Ropes (Invincible feat. Tiombe Lockhart)

Yesterday & tomorrow & today

Yesterday my roommate and I saw Bob Dylan. Dear god, his voice. I didn't want to be one of those people who get negative...however, at one point I thought that labor would be less painful. Not that I know. Maybe I thought that because all these women I know are having babies lately. Anyways. The man contributed much to our culture. Probably he was too stubborn to ever do anything to preserve his vocal cords. He is also still very good on the harmonica. And those were usually my favorite parts on the setlist. Despite my nose telling me that someone was smoking at some point, I didn't see any lighters but people held up cellphones and took pictures. Also as the voice was getting to me, I kept feeling like I was looking at a bunch of guys who wanted to be like the Blues Brothers and having a feminist moment, because whenever I've gone to a show, it's almost never for a female performer. My friend and I made a list on the phone of all the successful women in music and now I have to go to one of their shows.
Tomorrow night I have tentative plans to go to DC and not work.
Today I bought the proper kind of premixed engine coolant and will pour it into my car at some point. I also bought pfeffernuse and ate some dipped in wine, per the directions on the box.

The cold season

"The cold season was the correct time for telling stories."
(Page 5 of The Last Algonquin, a library book I read a few years ago when I was living in Michigan.) A little known book, it has 15 reviews on amazon.com and each one gives it 5 stars. How often does that happen?

Saturday evening events

Watching my friend's youtube channel. Carrying either a spice cake or marzipan stollen with candles stuck in it into a livingroom and singing Happy Birthday. Singing/reciting "I'm On A Boat" on autotune like karaoke. (The best line was I f***** a mermaiiiid.) Finding out that there is something called "Four square" which is like some kind of community city exploration thing. Too much cake, drink and food consumed. Single but impressively long tear running down cheek. Tired. Body needs to sleep.

Not shorter

Then I watched Jon Stewart and was like, hmmmm, what is up with the drawing of Glenn Beck's internal organs. And, I am not fooling my pancreas. I consumed a lot of a sugar-laden chocolate product in a very short amount of time, then tried to make up for it by eating an apple. Earlier, I'd waxed all rhapsodic to myself about drinking the last dregs of a bottle of cheap wine as I ate a chili-like concoction that did not delight my tastebuds. I admired the clouds and stars of the night sky on a balcony. There is still a record store in the suburbs where kids burn patchouli and act too cool but are (I just know! I just feel!) still so naively (and beautifully!) open to life experiences in a way that people my age who are obsessed with mortgages do not seem to be. Maybe they are the childish ones, and the youth and mid-life crisis people actually have more in common with each other and are in a wiser zone? I thought. Eh, maybe.

Short

Last night I woke as if from a very scary dream, but all it was about was one girl saying about another "I think she is scary." Maybe I am sensitive to some things. I was running around today with an abnormal amount of stress. I also think that Thanksgiving will be interesting with my new bro-in-law (a veteran), very hyper guy who sometimes seems to have a different sense of humor. Like the time he pretended to run me down in his car in a parking lot. I did not at all find it funny. Maybe it is due to a childhood in foster homes, or being sent to a war overseas and picking up the body parts of his friends. I suppose that might mess with your sense of reality. I also hope people will contemplate the mental health issues of human beings who deal with war. However, my belief is that this one should not get more press than all the copious instances of violence against women on bases and overseas that are connected with war.

Hoy Dia

Kind of me duele mi cabeza right now... I participated in a little dance recital for the first time since I was like, two or something. My friend called me while she was driving to say she put in a tape and heard her voice talking to me on it; she made it for me years ago because an Oprah show on past lives had come on, and then she drove by a sign for my old college. So she just had to call to tell me. Today I began reading a new book, Falconer on the Edge. A woman in my dance class who teaches English to 8th graders told me that Jean Craighead George, who wrote My Side of the Mountain (funny, I was thinking of that book lately), knew something about that topic. Thinking, thinking, thinking... Hmmm. On the other hand, perhaps it is good to indulge in other things? Oh, that word. "Indulge." Scratch that. It sounds like eating a bunch of chocolate. Right now, I'm talking about doing things to take care of oneself mentally and physically, and perhaps steering clear of too many doctors' bills in the winter. How about starting out with doing nothing but lying quietly, breathing, and maybe a simple head massage. Bye, glowing headache screen. Bye, rambling hodge podge, mish mish of words!!! Good. Night.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Maybe if I get one soon I will post a photo or two. After I drove out to Prince William Forest in an intimidating rainstorm, I arrived at the mess hall with a disco ball. Spent the obligatory 1st hour of shyness, sitting in the corner, playing with beads, consuming edibles and punch. Then I talked to a dude who went to a "rival elementary school" of the elementary schools I went to in Renton. I told him to read I'm Down. And he will! He so totally will. The friend he came with met my friend (who came dressed as a tsunami) in Malcolm X park and is Mr. Nadar's assistant or something. Also, I discovered: I am pretty good at hula hooping! Many of us slept in bunks that night and had lunch together at the twins' parents' house the next day. (Where the fiestas are usually held.) On the way home, the clouds over Manassas were white and flat, yet just a bit bunchy in some areas, like upside-down snow covered hills. Ah, Nordic saga weather...

Plants and stuff

Whoa, it was sort of crazy that when I typed "spearmint tea" in the search engine, this article was the first to come up. And then reading the ensuing Tragic Chorus of comments below it, many seeming to come from teenage girls. And wondering, does it make any difference in certain individuals if now there are more pollutants in the environment. And will it continue, and what to do? I think I'll go reread Behaving...

Me, my song misreadings

For Liquid Diamonds, towards the end, I'd sing: "I go inside a shell."

Les movies

My two most favorite are probably Central Station and Howards End. But yesterday, the TV was on, and I was sort of getting into Catch Me If You Can. I remember how, when I first saw it, I could NOT stop thinking of Bill Schroeder. (Sometimes--actually it happened this weekend--when people ask about the pronounciation of my last name, I start to say I don't know why, but sometimes "oe" is pronounced like "a" and I cite the name "Schroeder" as an example.) Such were the impressions, somehow imprinted on my funny little brain, at an early, early age. Oh, B.S., how like and yet unlike ol' Thoreau (at least, later I came to think) you were. Absolutely transfixed by accounts like these, I once was.

Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York or Vermont.

Those five states are places to consider moving to, according to Tips for getting insurance when you have a pre-existing condition. I found it after talking to a close relative who is charged an exorbitant amount ($1600/month for a single person) for major medical. Is it possible to even believe that some people can't get insurance because something like ADHD is a "pre-existing condition?" Out of control. It makes me wonder if most of the world sees Americans as "successful" business people who go on destructive sprees and don't know shit about taking care of themselves.
Regardless of discrepancies in income, healthiest people possible is beneficial for all.

The shopping was good

Bling at the party store for cheap! No I did not buy anything for a pimp costume. Cheezy looking dollar bill sign rings and necklaces for, at minumum, $6.99, went by the wayside in favor of other items more in the 99 cent to 3 dollar range, including a gigantic fake engagement ring necklace. Quite a fun find, hidden behind the aisle clogged with boxes.
(It was in the bachelorette party section.)
Recently, as we watched TV, my roommate told me about this silly thing.
I checked a friend's facebook post and am very, very sad about this.
I began reading this. And somehow, accidentally, this came on.

There could be a club

for people who actually remember Powerhouse, my favorite show as a kid.
And also...oh my god...I found it! The show about the telepathic twins!
It was part of a series called The Third Eye. Oh, wonderful internet. Except, it's a little bit heartbreaking that I can't find the clips of when the good stuff starts to happen! But, how odd. A new version is coming out? I remember them sticking their hands in jelly, being in underground and underwater in caves and stuff like that. The energies from the rocks were different colors. Red and Blue motif again. I vaguely remember another show called The Haunting of Cassie Palmer, but at the time it was a little too freaky and grown up for me to "get" and I don't think I watched it much.

Chapi Chapo!

Some channel (PBS? Nickolodeon?) used to have this funny looking puppetish kid who annoyed me. I think I was in "boys annoy me" mode when I saw him. He had a big head and nerdy glasses and maybe there was something like...a song playing (maybe the star spangled banner or america the beautiful?) and then the TV behind him would go all staticky with white stuff...What the hell was that. I have no idea. Instead I found Chapi Chapo! I never knew the name of it. I accidentally stumbled across it after clicking on the video for Pinwheel. Could totally re-watch all those episodes. What a wonderful gender neutral message. Red Girl, Blue Boy Equality! I didn't even know it was teaching me French.

to see, maybe

"Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes" was recently shown at one of my workplaces, and I missed it, but there is this interesting youtube clip.

What came of the internet

I was sitting by my book shelf and looking at a small jar, which is decorated with pictures of a frog and says "Drinkglas" on the lid. It once contained delicious Nutella-like spread from the Netherlands. Now it is full of erasers and a few pendants I don't really wear. There is one in the shape of an alligator. The girls on my dorm floor gave it to me ("Ali") my freshman year, on my birthday. Thinking of this, I decided to look up the name of my old college roommate and came across this page, which was probably created right when the college began to get the internet. Despite the fact that I was not in that program and only went there for 2 years, I recognize every name on the page and can picture every single one of them. In a way, I sort of wish I'd run into an alumna, chat with her about her extremely successful life, and get my ass kicked or else into gear somewise, because lately I feel like I have to do something different.

music: lonely or great

There's a CD I found for a dollar in a thrift store, called Deep Breakfast by Ray Lynch. It's in my car now, but I looked it up, and the videos have the most bizarre comments. (Tiny Geometries is more benign, though.) Oh comments. You exist, even though to me this stuff is all about me being young and living on an island, contemplating sky travel and mountains. Or, being in college, and running out in the middle of the night with my roommate to a place by the convention center in Seattle which had some kind of cool lighting sculpture. All alone, no one else there. She had a tape of it, too, something a teacher in class would play for them.

Random thoughts, are you in crisis????

Virginia, Gold Dust, John Bellairs, orchards, Emerson, Thoreau, the log of Christopher Columbus, lands, that book I was looking for by Malcolm Bosse (what was it? Oh yeah, Captives of Time) sugar, JUST GO TO THE WOODS AND LISTEN. Arrrgh. Sometimes an old cheap motel in the middle of nowhere does the trick, too. There's more! There's art and photography and painting and color and music theory! Apples! Apple cider! Hot showers, cold showers, singing, voice lessons, costumes, and treeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss.....

Poofy dresses

A friend who has a daughter posted on facebook that he thinks girls' costume options come in two choices: "slut" or "whore." Ouch! (I said "did they already run out of nun costumes?") But he lives in California. Perhaps if he lived in Alabama he'd see some other options.

And Pocahontas

Portrait as Halloween Costume Idea.

Seeing some old DC in "Gold Dust"

Sure, like Virginia (I like that song, set to scenes from a kid's movie or no) this makes me think I could appreciate where I live better, even though it's not quite where I feel most at home on this planet, or even in this country. Sights and Sounds / pull me back down /another year / I WAS HERE / I WAS HERE / Whipping past / the reflecting pool / me + you / skipping school / And we make it up / as we go along / We make it up as we / go along / You said --you raced from Langley -- / pulling me underneath / a Cherry Blossom / canopy -- Do I Have -- Of course I have, / Beneath my raincoat, / I have your photographs. / And the sun on your Face / I'm freezing that frame / And somewhere Alfie cries / and says "Enjoy his every smile / You can see in the dark / Through the eyes of Laura Mars" -- How did it go so fast -- you'll say / as we are looking / back / and then we'll / understand / we held gold dust / in our / hands.
(Gold Dust! Gold Dust Dress? Gold Dust Dress? Gold Dust Class!)

Diner dash

At the end of this year, I will get the opportunity to visit Sedona, AZ. I think I would like to check out The Red Planet Diner. Who knows maybe if I like it enough I can move out there and work next to a bar with filled with aliens instead of DHS employees. Ha ha. It would also be healthier for everyone's lungs because Arizona, like most places, now enforces a smoking ban.
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It's odd how diners can be good places for writing. I think so. Yet, their food is not the healthiest. How can one be both healthy and creative? I skimmed a paperback tonight that talked about "Dance of Death" cults in the Middle Ages. It mentioned the idea of people going into trances dancing to their deaths as a reaction against the restrictions of the Church. If that is possible, couldn't one also go into a peaceful kind of trance when creating something? Maybe society is in a trance about the suffering artist.
Tori Amos has songs about suffering, though, and I continue to love them. When I first listened to Virginia, I probably found it to be boring. Later, I listen But as always / The thing that he / Loves he will / change from her / sunwise to clockwise / to soul trading / still she'll lay / down her Body / covering him all / the same / oh Virginia / do you remember / when the Land held / your hand / oh Virginia / she will let you back in oh Virginia / you can't remember / your name
and love it so well.

Kinda funny

Bumper sticker:
"That's okay I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway."
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I watched this video of Taxi Ride and it was the very first time I heard "killer bees."

Virginia thoughts

Today's a day off and I think I might venture out to another orchard in rural Virginia...East Virginia Blues....Virginia rural news...
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Then again it was actually a better day to try the hill at this park. (And strike up a friendly conversation with a woman who hikes there regularly with her dog on the trail.) Yes, better that way. No "apple-pie" flavored fudge too terrible for teeth and pancreas and endocrine/reproductive systems and walnuts to tempt one.
(Why did I write "walnuts?" I have no idea. I'm leaving it in.)
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Oh honestly. On the topic of dating: lets say there was this creative person who, well, kinda sucked at relationships. (By their own admission! Because of their issues and yada yada yada.) And still had far to go to progress in that area of their life, in spite of other successes. Would you hurl your cherished friend at that person to fix them up, in the name of an "adventure?" I fear too many would! At the moment, I think I would not.
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Not quite upstate NY, but Virginia autumn leaves are beeeautiful!!! :-)

Books tonight

1) Quote: "Rosemary Gladstar often calls plants 'little green teachers.' Once while visiting our farm, she gave an interview to a reporter. She was talking about how much she has learned from the plants, how she considers them her most important teachers. The reporter, a little confused by these comments, asked "What could you possibly learn from a tree?'
Rosemary looked the reporter in the eye and said, very matter-of-factly, 'Patience.' .... For many people, spirituality and philosophy come from books and lectures, not nature. Trees and shrubs and flowers can't talk, so how could they possibly teach us anything?"
From page 8 in this library book: The Herbalist's Garden.
2) In a bookstore, I read some of The Glass Castle.
3) But I also took in some sky and rose hips and birds today. (Here.)

Female DJs

The other day, I asked myself, what do I know about female DJs? And the answer was nada. I looked some amateur ones up. Youtube commenters were pretty harsh. Sheesh, people, is there no place in our society for a beginner? Then I found one who seemed accomplished and there were NO comments on this video of Pam the Funktress. She does a trick from Afro Puffs, which sort of used to get stuck in my head, but I now know, after all these years, a) thats not by a man but by a woman, and b) it's not saying "apple puff." (Well I sort of already knew that.) My friend sent me: Sister Bliss and Faithless: Why Go. And that's my education on the topic so far.
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Then I showed my roommate this and she showed me this.
Then I watched Mass Destruction.

The delicate art of dollar store shopping

Maybe I shouldn't have bought the red hair extensions, wand and wings (little fairy red riding in the hood!) And definitely not the plastic rings, which are meant for five year old pinkies. (They looked more flexible.) Oh lord. REALLY REALLY TACKY. I came to this conclusion after a sobering glance in the mirror, after eating most of the interior of a small, mediocre pumpkin pie, which I did after the fashion of our long deceased gray cat, Robert E. Lee. (He liked pumpkin pie filling.) However, the plastic necklace and Big Red gum, I can work with.

Even keel

There was a day when I was perhaps 20 or 21 that I was visiting an older woman's house on the island. One of her (younger, but middle-aged) friends came in to visit. The friend walked in, noticed me, didn't find my presence of any particular importance, and said, matter-of-factly, "well, mother died." I was shocked. Then they discussed the sudden impact of her death and the older woman said "well, wasn't it a wonderful time for her to go?" This was not a heartless discussion. The woman did love her mother, and on some level it had been a painful shock, but at the same time, it was what it was. (I guess?) There is a phrase that comes to mind when life is going pretty okay. It's not high and butterflies-in-the-stomach (elated but part of you fearing how it will feel when you will crash) it's not low and screaming into a pillow, or moaning like a beast, because you just don't know what to do. It's like you look out on the horizon, and you can see things from a larger perspective. You can take in the whole view. It's even keel.

Alumna

Really? According to this entry in Wikipedia, Tallulah Bankhead went to MBC? Ah, that would've been interesting. I vote for a movie about her.
A girl I know who went out with a VMI guy says they used to call it "Mary Bedroom." A girl I knew who went there went out with a VMI guy. They might've gone to Ring Finger. He was quoted in Ms. Magazine. It was regarding VMI being forced to allow females to attend. The gist of it went something like this: "They (the Northern soldiers) shelled us during the War for Independence. We'll survive this too."
The closest I ever got to going out with a VMI guy (not that this was ever a goal of mine) was when I talked to one at a mixer who liked my peasant girl dress. I remember that I told him that the other guys ragging on him was not a good reason for him not to wear the traditional kilt of his ancestors. He promptly began avoiding me.
My college friend I met up with yesterday told me that a company in Virginia that makes car vacuums has this motto: "WE REALLY SUCK!"
Talula talula...

Quippy friend

Me: It says on amazon that the guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies also wrote The Big Book of Porn: A Penetrating Look at the World of Dirty Movies.
Her: Is it a pop-up book?
(Yes, I was amused.)
Amusing-seeming person I don't know: some Seattle area yelper.
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It's a strange transition, because I was not in a quippy mood at all for most of today. It was more of a "enjoy this weather, this apple cider, this pork sandwich, those cloggers, that tree, those wildflowers, the songs on this CD, I wonder how I can make a low-budget not-shaky video of a roadtrip and set it to music?" state of mind. And thats a very simple summary.
Who can explain how enjoyably complex your own meanderings can seem to you when your life is feeling harmonious?

Apple picking!!!!

Rain or shine, me and my old friend from MBC (Hey. It says they tore down the dorm that was the Civil War Hospital. I can't believe it. That was such a Halloween tradition!) will reunite at this festival.

Costume decision

Help came from roommate who went as a Bloody Mary one year.
The hooded pullover idea has evolved. My costume will be "Red Riding in the 'Hood.'" (;-D) Speaking of 'hood,' after reading I'm Down, I decided to look up my old elementary schools in Renton. Both have 70-75% of their students getting free or reduced lunch and are Title One. I wonder how that compares to when I went there? What would I be like if I hadn't moved to an island I don't really know anymore? Not possible to know. Today I did this little stab at putting down creative writing ideas.

politican's author's conservatives' locals' out of towners'
friends friends friends friends friends friends
media government shaking cars aircraft
fires fears drives to sanctuaries
driving by signs for think tanks
"this family is not a democracy"
closed eyes prayers
calls to arms to armed forces here
in the government
cars nails tires
newspapers

Strange phone calls at the old woman's house in Seattle
Old man in nursing home?
(Girl giggles because he coughs so much and insists she is someone else)
Weird voodoo chant from another culture?
(Girl stays on phone until the chanters hang up.)

Nothing about the island there.
And I watched Kantoi, Going Up the Country, and Godless again.
I believe I will spend more time in gardens, even in cold East Coast winters. And look at some good Canadian Garden blogs! Amazing how well they can live in that socialist country, eh?

Halloweeneee costumeee

Thanks to certain brilliant friends, I have an event to attend at which costume will be mandated. I have to face certain facts. I am probably not going to be able to use a cute, peasant girl type of dress, which is actually from the 70s, unless I go on a real diet. At the moment, I'm not a fan of diets. (Have I ever been? Perhaps I would be if I saw a point, like if I were, say, attending dance classes five days a week.) Speaking of dieting... Anyway, at this point I should probably give another girl a chance to wear it. Oh well, at least there were those cute pictures of me in it at my highschool graduation party. (Not the case of a college mixer I wore it to, in which the photographer followed me around, creepily whispered compliments, and then--creepier yet--for some reason didn't provide any photos for me to buy when the prints came out.)
OTHER COSTUME IDEAS:
I do have a pair of red, sporty-in-appearance-if-not-actuality (the polyester & cotton fabric is not fun to wear in any kind of heat) pants that I got from a clothing swap, which almost match a red hooded pullover that one of my relatives gave me from a writing conference with the words "Escrire Cogitare Discere" on it.
[Modern, Broke English Major Red Riding Hood?]
Or, YET AGAIN, YES, my wonderful (especially because it still fits!) Indian dress with all the cool little mirrors/beading/embroidery, which I only ever seem to wear on Halloween. Put the scarf thing around my head.
[Little Ethnically Ambiguous Burnt Orange Riding Hood?]
Or maybe I could go as The Secret.
(I'm actually not making fun of The Secret. I'm making fun of myself.)
Think I'll go make myself a Dal Paratha, or as I call it, a delicious Indian pancake. (This, and rice with beans and hot sauce, was accomplished.)
At end of evening: watching The New Age of Walmart.

Best 20 minutes of today

were spent at a garden, cozying up to red ornamental grasses.

Tuesday morning thoughts

Cat on bed, and Bob Dylan show in the near future.
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Later- That was earlier. Feeling less contentment now. What to do?
Bookstore read of tonight: Half the Sky.
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Sheesh, though. To be able to find that clip of Shirley MacLaine from the Bella Abzug memorial service! Not seen by these eyes since I'd come back from the jungle and waited in the Lima hotel room before going back to Seattle...What should I do next. What, what, what...

Waiting for those laundry machines again...

I suppose there are many sides to this story, but this massive layoff of highschool teachers and counselors in DC sounds pretty messed up.
I got a speech from a stranger that I should be teaching the other day.
I remember that when I was a T.A., a student with limited English skills came in with a really creative story for a project, and I saved it. Really cracked up the class by drawing funny pictures to illustrate the story. It was all about a nameless monster. The nameless monster travels the world and tries on various personalities, none of which really satisfy. The conclusion was "we are all nameless monsters." How about that...
On Columbus Day, the laundry room becomes extremely popular.
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Hmmm. S.M. speech at L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center Gala.

Cositas

I started to reread El Camino. Now I realize it's the first time I've done that since my sister did our family tree and found on that on the southern side we are descendants of Charlemange. But this is more interesting: when I went to Peru, I coincidentally met the guy who had been the author's tour guide in Cusco. Briefly, in Miraflores. I didn't really say anything to him. The professor who took us there knew him. Later, she told me that she had met her. And she had very...something about nice eyes and very warm. And she felt lucky to meet her.
Oh and another funny thing was that I found a clip. On one of my trips back to Peru, before I returned to the US I saw this in a hotel room in Lima:
S. MacLaine remembers Congresswoman B. Abzug.
I definitely remember that I at least saw some of it.
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Honestly, it might sound weird, but to me, with her hair long, she almost kind of resembles Tori Amos in this 1970s clip: S. M. shills for...

art, art, art, art...

Then sings my soooooouuuuuul.....
Actually I have enjoyed singing that one.
I like very much the feeling of, when I'm reading something, that someone has tried to uncover a secret. Recentish examples:
1) A. Fulton's great grandmother
2) Spain's African history in Kinky Gazpacho.
3) Yosemite's Buffalo Soldiers.
Sooo sucked back into my own memories of going to two elementary schools in the Seattle area because of reading I'm Down.
Less intensely, but more gently, I remembered New York when I reread a poem called "Sympathetic Hexes" from Dance Script With Electric Ballerina. A memory of a museum in Albany. In a quiet corner, I felt the urge and started to dance, perhaps, and a woman saw me and smiled, (maybe she even laughed? but not meanly, I think.) Then I stopped and I wouldn't. I refused to come out of my shell. How sad. And poignant. But it's okay. One little moment of embarrassment is not forever.
I didn't grow up in "the city." I was from upstate NY, where grown ups worked in places like Macy's (not the big Thanksgiving parade one) and went to RPI. After I moved, when a new girl from NY came to Seattle, I was excited, but she was from the city and it became clear that this was not the same NY I knew, and also that hers was cooler. I was from the Albany area. However, upstate NY and reading books was enough to instill a sense of familiarity in me when I visited the city as an adult. And I'd already been to cities like Seattle and Amsterdam. Every amazing city also has an element of insularity.
I found out that a Bob Dylan show is in my friend's future.
This is a funny review of his new Christmas album.

An old incident in the mind

There was a restaurant worker who blurted "table or booth?" and offended the guests, a wheelchair bound man (probably a veteran) and his wife. She was the recipient of an angry silence. Later she said, within earshot, that she was having a bad day, and now the machine wasn't printing the check in a timely fashion. "I hate...people...no...not people...just the machine..." And for some reason, as awkward and mucky as it all was, it was something. Because when she walked by them again, the wife had softened and veteran had brightened, and wished her a very good day.

The evening's dose of humor

Was to be gotten at the bookstore cafe table which actually still had a chair (why did the staff stack chairs so early? Why does the library close at 6 pm on Thursday?) I sat and read this book: I'm Down by Mishna Wolff. Aw, memories of my own 3rd and 4th grade experiences around Seattle. Peechees! "DANG" and "PSYCH!" Double Dutch. Value Village. I wonder if there will be any episodes on the playground involving kids at the tetherball pole, or picking up glass for the playground teachers. Hopefully no one will throw a chunk of concrete at their playmate's head. (That happened at a daycare I attended.) I wonder how old the author is.
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I remember a day I came to school with no lunch money. Somehow I ended up talking to the principal. She smiled and explained to me that I didn't qualify for free lunch, so I would have to go without one, but suggested I ask if one of my classmates would share their lunch with me. Back to the cafeteria... I was the new kid and didn't really have any good friends yet. Glumly, I thought that maybe I could ask someone for the shredded iceburg lettuce and peanuts that the lunches came with, because no one ever ate them. (Hello, what were they thinking? Peanut allergies!) I still remember the stares I got. Then one of them pushed her plastic container at me. "Girl, you eat all the peanuts you want."
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Hotel is in my head for some reason. "Exit 75, I'm still alive."

Little end of album trio

Morning was all about Northern Lad, afternoon and evening was Playboy Mommy, and then transitioning to Pandora's Aquarium at night.
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And then some obligatory searching turning up Playboy Mommy song meanings, Iieee story and Storytellers recap. (Oh that is so old! What was I thinking about in 1999? Going back to Peru.)
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Soy Andina looks like a nice film. I am not peruana but I could be a favorite guest. They taught me some castellano. What do I remember? Prendelo! Es rico. Me queda bien. La (insert female name).

Film watching a few years back.

It was October in upstate NY. I had no plans in particular. School was over for me. I drank too much wine in an old coldish apartment, and went out and bought apples at a local market. I'd make quinoa with cheese in a pot and add some ketchup. I got movies to watch with my strange typewriter-obsessed friend, who'd recommended the King of Hearts. He fell asleep during Lovers of the Arctic Circle. When I brought home The Seventh Seal, he said he hoped it would tell him how to live.

Cheap Food Blog Discovery

Makes me want to see the "lunch truck Renaissance" and the "Hollywood Bowl." Also now I am going to see how much scallops cost here. I haven't seen the "Julie and Julia" movie, but the preview makes me think, how cool would it be to see Julia Child movie with Meryl Streep? Probably very cool.
100 Blogs for the Frugal Gourmet

Wisconsin Bookstore

There ought to be a documentary.
Lenore and Lloyd Dickmans' Bookstore.

Photo Essay of Asgarda

The "Amazons" of the Ukraine.

Ugh, espresso

Something about it does not agree with my body. Even if it's just a medium-sized latte. Hours later, nausea and regret. Next purchase on birthday gift card will either be tea or apple cider. I have also switched to a new library book. Changing Planes has a very promising first chapter, although it is quite negative about airports.
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I mean, first story.

Waiting for the laundry to finish

Richmond Rap. Arlington Rap. Hey There Khalilah. What a joy it was, one night, to sing those lyrics to myself when the original came on at one of my jobs. Today when I went to do laundry and trash, I heard a girl's high voice saying, slowly and deliberately, "I have no where to wear these clothes...so I have to wear them at home..." "I know," an older-sounding, lower, feminine voice saying. The "girl" always speaks like that. She was in an accident when she was younger. Now I can't type. For example, I tried to type tear-jerker and went "terk" and then had to erase it, and I keep doing that sort of thing, anyways, the preview in question was the one I watched for the movie in which Maria Carey goes without make-up! Who Knows Maybe Things Are Looking Up For Women In Hollywood.
Last night, due to a conversation about Magic and Tarot cards, I was amused by the December '06 Archives of I Fought The Law.
Mail: Most f'd up team ever said a grad school chum, of this story.
I'm reading Welfare Brat.