"Women survive the apocalypse"
valmerza
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXclCn-AKNV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"The 'perfect' PCOS meal plan"
thepcosmentor and novum.pcos
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXdDwQYj0kp/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Women survive the apocalypse"
valmerza
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXclCn-AKNV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"The 'perfect' PCOS meal plan"
thepcosmentor and novum.pcos
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXdDwQYj0kp/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Not long ago I found myself in some words / woods, and I was actually enjoying life and feeling a little more cushioned after a spiritual person said I was correct about something, and that she had checked with her guides, and I said, I knew it, and it's kind of like a little drop of external validation goes a very long way sometimes, so I can be / will be prepared for more divine discomfort; life on Earth is never 100% comfortable, is it.
I may. I might make fun alterations.
It could be a grounding and interactive undertaking."Out of Africa | Robert Redford and Meryl Streep Soar Over Kenya"
"2:55 of RECEIPTS"
therealebjohnson
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXEgSTwgG45/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I feel really enriched by having lived in various parts of the United States and I would like to visit many of them again someday, but today is one of those days when it's like, "Let's not put the ox-cart before the ox, man."
"Their father and I agreed that we would live separately, but we would always live together in the lives of our children. There are only loving and unloving homes. It is the patriarchal story that has been broken. All the same, most children who grow up in that story will struggle, along with everyone else, to compose another one."
~ Deborah Levy
Page 13 "The Cost of Living"
"The Cost of Living: A Working Autobiography by Deborah Levy"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/36820477-the-cost-of-living
This was good from the radio the other day too...
Collective Soul - "December (Official HD Music Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6exsatE-DUk&si=DJaBEyvrFyqsOA54
So it's good for me to have fun with it.
Some other time, maybe, but not right now?
"Stop asking for things you don't fully understand"
valenoffline
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWZeCqsgfHn/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I don't really find the way things are going to be optimal at the moment because I don't really find the way things are going to be optimal at the moment because I don't really find the way things are going to be optimal at the moment because what's the deal with that?
"DHS responds to claims of hunger strike at Moshannon Valley ICE Processing Center"
"Will Dispute Led ICE To Put 85-Year-Old Widow In Immigration Detention"
If there's a wide variety of children in this world and some of them are not as privileged as others, and it feels like that's something that gets in your feelings a lot, it would seem to me that the people who seem to care about what is happening to immigrant children in this country right now might seem like the best kind of community to be around.
"One family’s ordeal in detention for nearly a year"
"90s kids are a generation conditioned..."
darlene.coach
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVHCsvXCefA/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Seagulls using wind tunnel for leisure"
https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/M4FP5wf6Ij
They must really like it under there...
"cheese-topped picaditas for dinner"
Obduliah Ag
The first half hour of the documentary already talked about how Thoreau didn't step up enough with regards to the human rights of Native Americans, so I wonder what else they're gonna say.
"Rancor Baby" - The Onion
https://theonion.com/rancor-baby/
"Annie DJing at World Coin Thing"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AnnieClark/s/8EDZMA7LfC
"#momlife"
saint vincent
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLlBpOaBSXz/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Maybe I'll touch up more white parts and paint along with it again...
Counting Crows - "A Long December (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs&si=DdWlet2TkdImgskl
I like it. It felt good to listen to today. It kind makes me think of the other good songs by that band, and for me that was like music you'd listen to out behind a barn, off of a cassette player, in the '90s. This is a nice version too.
"Long December"
keenanomeara
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOWaVo-iZAL/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
It kind of reminds me of when I visited the rainforest and staff at the lodge would play guitar and sing around the fire after the evening shift, although unfortunately I didn't recognize many of the Spanish language songs. But I think about this one: "Ay ay ay, canta no llores..."
I finally painted the white parts. (Or some of them.)
And then I made a merry feminine junk journal with what I was given!
It would have been funnier with it.
"Freddie's nonsense song from a room with a view"
@colacoke2111
Tiny cute bird on a wire, smeary window, very gray cloud cover. Bird flew away as soon as I finished typing that sentence.
I've had a good time working on some artistic projects today. And I ended up saying goodbye to somebody but it went very well. It was a very kind process. I have been seeing a student who is in training for a reduced rate for therapy about every other week and she has to take medical leave because she's in her first trimester of pregnancy and has been having difficulties with morning sickness issues and I do hope she feels better soon and I can feel somewhat happy for her but unfortunately I'm still not entirely healed about this issue and we both agreed it was probably better if I found somebody else to work with but everything was very kindly and nicely communicated.
Something interesting that came up in the session was she said she thinks it's valid if I have any bad feelings or or disappointment or jealousy. I said, I don't think anybody's ever said that directly to me like that. She has good psychology training maybe, huh? I said to her that I'm disappointed in patriarchal society when it comes to these issues. I said to her if I'd gone to a matriarchal church maybe there would have been ceremonies for all different kinds of women.
Maybe there would have been something in the service or in the community that said, sometimes there's people who don't have children and they thought they would, and they might feel sad about it, and we should help them. I said it would have been nice if I had been to a church that had a ceremony or a ritual like that and literally I never remember anything like that being taught to me when I was a kid; never.
I am also embarrassed, and really disappointed by how disrespectfully patriarchal society treats all kinds of women's bodies and girls bodies in general. It's f***** up. Anyways. I guess this was a good day for us to have this kind of conversation and to part ways in a fashion that was respectful and kind. She's a good person. Maybe I'll work with her again in the future.
inside of my head, so I went looking for the poem.
Was it this one? (When I saw the title I thought maybe it was.)
"The Inexactness of Light" by J. Brantingham, in "Slowly Through the Grove."
Actually it wasn't, but it was good to read the two of them together.
"Nautical Twilight" by J. Brantingham
Music can push us into interesting realms! I have musical people in my family, too. π
Sigh. πΆπΉ
Tori Amos "Blood Roses" Sept 24, 1999 - Las Vegas
"this is hard to share..."
drjuli_larocca
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXN0MkYDKr_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
All the things people didn't want to talk about are actually getting talked about.
"π§π½♀️The 'high vibe' wellness industry "
rhythmsofhealth
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW6tfulEcFs/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Meet this piece of garbage"
cassandras_wnc
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWjewCZCe7l/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Almost kinda seems like I did some witchcraft on myself or something? Without 100% consciously knowing what I was doing.
Sufjan Stevens - "Sugar [Official Music Video]"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=56bU7xAU1tM&si=GlBmK667QLz2iLWP
"Sugar (Live)" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PiWIdAi4O0Y&si=WQh8uM1BejGkDGlN
Guided, though.
Ron Burgundy Anchorman GIF
"'Pittsfield' from 'The Avalanche'"
There was a place called China Harbor with a Latin American community and salsa dancing and that that was the main place where I experienced a certain kind of knowledge, which is this: you can be dancing with a complete stranger and everything around you becomes a whirl where you're momentarily experiencing an ecstatic spiritual state, like what you could imagine Sufis might experience, but it's happening when you're in the middle of a club salsa dancing.
Peru can be an amazing place; it was really special. Next to Machu Picchu, the mountains, the sacred valley...it's known as a place where people's hearts open, and to me, it felt like you start to know where you want to go with your life's purpose. Sometimes I kind of wonder if I should see Peru again someday before I die, and experience it as an older and wiser adult who's more in charge of her life. I can hardly believe in age as a number right now. But it's true. I'm only going to be on Earth in this particular body for a limited amount of time, just like everybody else, in their bodies, and in their minds that they're experiencing right now. And their hearts, too, of course. It feels like the sacred valley would say, don't forget about the hearts.
I have a lot of old homes to visit. Pacific Northwest, Michigan and New York are the top three. Oh, but also, Monterey, California. That's another good one.
Monterey, California is the most likely to make me think of this song:
"Escapade" ~ Janet Jackson
It was a co-housing group. It met in a senior center. The adults I'm thinking about were my mom and her older friend who was very spiritually oriented helped out my mom by taking care of us when my mom went away on business trips.
I learned that seniors like to read romance novels. There were a lot of them in there. The kids were often sitting around kind of bored and sometimes one of the adults would do crafts with us in a back room and that was nice, and sometimes the adult would be, like, a New Age guy with a feminine side and a ponytail.
But sometimes we were left on our own, and then there were romance novels to read. Lol! But I think the other kids were mostly younger than me, and they didn't read them.
Or I just thought of something else: I feel like I'm still recovering from all I've been learning about being on this planet and experiencing a gauntlet of pretty humbling experiences. Even now I have a bunch of humbling experiences to help me figure out more ways to be a human being. Maybe I was a king over a thousand years ago or something. I get to be more humble than that in this life. But with great humility comes great responsibility?
"Apocalypse" - Cigarettes After Sex
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sElE_BfQ67s&si=Ry-IBWXHHOvE6GZJ
Auuugh, poor kings, too much patriarchal power, trying so hard to be so much better and wiser now.
Why do you suppose it ever feels like there is anything to be scared of? What do you think about any temporary moments of mind melding that might have already happened? What's going on when people find out they can create very nice situations or accidentally help with any problems by allowing the universe to manifest more beautiful possibilities while helping them maintain healthy levels of self-respect and curiosity?
"Beth Orton just gave fans a reason to dance in the darkness of 2026"
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/music/articles/beth-orton-just-gave-fans-210003420.html
Because there's the alluring, transported to another time feeling...
Beth Orton
"Couldn't Cause Me Harm"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=z0YhGimuP44&si=FBHrcUiBeV-BFVRT
"Stars All Seem to Weep"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XMdHHw5TU0I&si=WVEIEh4d5kvesMwZ
"Blood Red River"
Isn't this one of the best things I have ever...
"Saturn"
Sufjan Stevens, Bryce Dessner, Nico Muhly, James McAllister
https://youtube.com/watch?v=49Jwh5CC_J4&si=m_hKTHk8IbP4-_yc
"I mean a lot is said in the words"
toninagy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXUtspfD6VO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Husbands"
toninagy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXNCQ5cD8Ti/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sometimes I wonder if I will interact with some people I used to know in the past more in the future, but for some reason I had to go through some kind of period in my life where I felt like I was supposed to be very self-reliant, in a way?
Did he sing one about a European Queen?
Billy Ocean – "European Queen Lyrics | Genius Lyric"
What are songs that come to mind when you think of the ones you listened to in your childhood? Not necessarily that they were your favorite, but just, what's the first one that comes to mind?
For some reason the first one that comes to my mind is "I Wear my Sunglasses at Night" and I believe my babysitters liked it too but when I went down to the pool the lifeguard turned it off and suddenly he seemed to be in a bad temper.
(That was the summer after first grade in Watervliet.)
After that I think of "Bette Davis Eyes" and being excited to listen to it in the backseat of my grandfather's car as he drove around his farmland in North Carolina.
(That was the summer before first grade.)
Oh but the one I think about if I'm a little kid going around some hilly terrain in a car in view of the Catskills is definitely this one!
Billy Ocean - Caribbean Queen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=uxX2gA18grk&si=3H_Dsmxw49NyoIvk
And also it makes me think of eating toffee or caramels.
We should talk about how self-centered we were all encouraged to be in our respective childhoods and compare notes on the similarities and differences.
I pray baby (that was the universe being mischievous) I probably weigh more.
"Sensitive: The Untold Story"
"You do not have to go through pain and struggle to grow."
Page 79 of Sanaya Roman's "Personal Power Through Awareness"
Geez, thanks for that advice. It sort of seems to run contradictory to the empirical experience of having a life on Earth, but maybe it's true. Maybe it's got some truth to it. What else do we need to know.
"Pain is a powerful indicator of growth, and it can be changed with love."
Page 117 of Sanaya Roman's "Personal Power Through Awareness"
"Personal Power through Awareness: A Guidebook for Sensitive People by Sanaya Roman" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/82056.Personal_Power_through_Awareness
You're not the boss of me in this life. I'm the boss of me in this life. Also you look like someone's little brother and you act like one too.
I kind of feel like I might immerse myself in Anne Frank's diary again soon. But there still will be lots of other things to do.
Maybe we're getting through a lot of stuff right now and it's good.
Because by paying attention to it, you break the cycle of it repeating and happening again.
"Another victim of Cesar Chavez breaks their silence: ‘My body remembers’"| California | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/20/cesar-chavez-victim-breaks-silence
Maybe I got the message in the past that the only way you could experience good things was to ignore or push away the not so good things, but maybe the new way of life won't be like that.
All the times I was innocent in the past.
When I was a young person in college who used to meet another young man on a hill and we would talk about our lives and just be nice to one another, that was innocent. His name was Chris and he had a girlfriend who was a massage therapist and for some reason we would meet and chat between classes. I feel like that was rare and special experience now. I think he was interested in hearing about my life and trips down to South America, the time.
And later, the innocence that one can experience about the idea of having children. Just thinking it might happen and that it would be what was supposed to be. I don't believe in that now. I feel wiped out, but also like a survivor, as if a flood swept away my home and all of my possessions. I feel the horror. I feel the coldness and the self-absorption and immaturity of some people when it comes to have much they center their own experiences and how little they care for others. They refuse to consider others. They just can't seem to do it. How much they feel entitled to exclude others. They need fables. These were society's fables that I had to break away from. These were tall tales. The tales excluded too many. These were not my fairy tales. They are still what others must cling to, but they're not for me.
(The thoughts above came out with many tears. The thoughts below came after that, with not so many tears.)
These belief systems say that you are better if...
You are better if you have kids. You are better if you can get more people to listen to you. You are better if you can get people to buy your stuff. You are better if you make more money. You are better if you lose more weight. You are better if you go to parties more and smile and post pictures online about it. All of it feels like lies, and I don't know how people got sucked into going along with it. All of these people who have those things still rely on others' labors in order to get through their days, and they don't seem to want to think about that, most of the time.
It feels stranger and stranger as time goes by that people don't want to think about it. It feels like immigrants in concentration camps are not being cared for enough because of these kinds of patterns that people get sucked into going along with. I am shocked. There are children in those places. How can a society that really cares about children forget about certain ones? Maybe if I am shocked, maybe it means there's a part of myself that is innocent, still.
Maybe I feel like my experiences are ignored and forgotten by Society like children who get locked away in detention centers are ignored and forgotten by Society. Maybe that's what I need to figure out. What is it about the structures in Society and in people's minds that make that kind of forgetting feel normal and acceptable to them?
"Literally everything except what would help"
valenoffline
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW9dj1sgc_W/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sometimes I feel like this kind of attitude is really important and it is also like a form of love, because so many things really do need to change for the better.
Maybe some of us had humbling experiences this time around because that paved the way for us to go to a more refined level when it comes to how we perceive things, and maybe it can help us as we're developing our communication skills. Another thing I realize is that sometimes, as I live in this body, I experience things the hard way, and then I say, "Oh, but there was a kernel of truth in that piece about how holding onto resentment is not good for you." And yet, you know you want to acknowledge that when there is suffering and people feel the need to fight back, something is happening there which deserves respect, and is not to be belittled or discounted.
I have had dreams where I'm driving and I'm completely blind and I have no idea where I'm going but I'm still supposed to keep driving. And that would be a terrible thing to do in real life, but it kind of sums up a state that I feel like I'm in lately. Maybe it does feel like I sometimes have a habit of talking (?) or typing too much to deal with nerves. The habit is happening again. If I'm in trouble, it better be good trouble. I literally have no clue what's happening, sometimes, but it's not such a problem if I just relax.
I do not act the way I thought I would as an adult of a certain age. As a kid, I thought I would have things figured out as an adult. And as an adult of a certain age, I keep feeling like I have to act like some kind of newborn thing all the time.
Trying to get things across to people can actually be a form of respect even if they don't realize it. It's like, you're trying to let them know that you think they're important, and you want them to hear what you're saying. And maybe it will get better later. In the future, maybe it would not seem so preachy. It would seem more like, I picked up some energy patterns to share and I need to get that across to the people who can understand them because it's important for this collective work we're doing. And then on another day, somebody else will pick up the other energy patterns and then you will be the one listening. On a previous day, you were the one who picked up the energy patterns and you were trying to share them.
"The police found video evidence.."
frankyydean
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXMZIg0je3U/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Longer video that I will watch later:
"Columbine survivor opens her backpack"
This Patriarchal Society has been very cruel to many people who experienced certain kinds of challenges. I think we should try to create a more healing society because it would be so much better for so many people.
I don't like how this Patriarchal Society acts like you are an inferior person if you did not experience certain things. For example, people who experienced health setbacks and were not given adequate care. People who did not give birth to biological children, and who did not make more money or put out more artwork, are treated like inferior garbage compared to the most "successful" ones on a regular basis.
Why should that be so? That's too mean. And exclusionary. And I don't find that way of life to be very uplifting.
A lot of people should be nicer to people who have genetics that are different than the ones the Patriarchal Society rewarded the most. Patriarchal Society wanted you to be scared to know about stuff like that. Because sometimes it can be overwhelming. But being so blind to people who are different from you in order to succeed in their setup is just like, a very sub-optimal level of living.
Have you noticed who's mostly successful at art and music? Have you noticed who's mostly doing the work of providing food and shelter and clothing for everyone else? And now there's going to be AI and a whole bunch of jobs that people used to rely on aren't going to be there anymore.
I need food and water and shelter and clothing and I'm very enriched by art and music but so sick of people acting like people who are talented artistically in musically are more important than the people who provide me with food and water and shelter and clothing. It feels like a lie!
I feel like I don't want to turn myself into somebody who acts like I'm better if I give birth to a child or if I make more money or I'm better if I put out more artwork.
It feels an old mentality that's been really selfish and cruel to most people, honestly. I do not want to be a servant to that mentality. I do not need that. I need something better than that.
If I can't make the same choices that others made, and I don't have their genetics, expecting me to repeat the same patterns that they've been repeating is like some kind of suicide mission. It's not going to happen. I have to figure out better ways to be here while I am here. I have to ask the universe for more help.
It seems like when we are on Earth sometimes we are working with a limited consciousness. So we have to ask the universe for more help and then we can be guided to the next steps and maybe a lot of things can start to unfold more harmoniously soon.
"How it works ✨"
valenoffline
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXHzApjAdcz/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I advocated for a decade..."
mrs.wandrum and sickchickscle
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSs1YgKksnK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"EDIT 3: THE YOUTUBE VIDEO WITH MY DAD IS UP NOW"
lokknessie
ericseanatwood
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWsJOy_ghPF/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
It's good to meet somebody who knows how to listen when a lot of people were not encouraged to do so. A lot of people were encouraged to try to put their impressions of how things should be onto the world, instead of also learning from others who are different from them. And maybe they would also be able to feel good about growing and learning a little more about the world, as a result, if they enjoyed listening to what others were experiencing.
Parents have the ability to make their kids feel like their experiences are so unimportant just because they didn't align with their parents' expectations or their understanding of what one is meant to do with a life.
And then, if the kids get the message that their stories are not important enough to be listened to, then some of the kids will never want to tell them anything. No, because there's a lot that many people don't want to know about when it comes to what's happening in the world, and sometimes it happens to their kids or to other people's kids, and then sometimes those parents do not become people who are going to know how to listen. They become the people who expect others to change to suit their standards.
And then, maybe there is not enough room within in their psyches for some people to be able to feel that they can suit those standards. So that is a form of fragility that can feel very controlling and punitive and exclusionary.
Healthcare for the people who have genetics that are different from yours, including the people who might have a combination of your genetics but nevertheless they will still not ever have your exact same genetics, is important.
Things you can do if you ever make your kids feel like they're genetically inferior compared to you.
Also, for some reason I'm thinking about how there was this one time when I was driving in the car at night and somebody got behind me and they really tailgated me closely for a very long time and kept flashing their lights at me and I was like, ack this is a stalker, ack, I must have accidentally cut this person off in traffic, ack, road rage, ack ack ack, and then finally they left me alone, and I was like, oh good, and then I realized my lights weren't on.
I should play this
"Played Woman Simulator and Now I Hate Men"
ToastyGames
Sometimes it's weird to think that I could have been born in another time and have lived through the decades and be an old Boomer guy, maybe even like a dad or a grandpa. It's crazy, man. I wonder how many of my friends would have voted for Trump.
"The living rooms that didn't make the main video"
@kendragaylord
"Son, always clear the stuck energy in your solar plexus before you embark on any exciting but also potentially dangerous activities."
Next topic, and for fun, experiences in regards to Greek life and college drinking traditions?
"Do You Have a Right to be Upset? Are Resentments Justified?"
Wayne W. Dyer
How about on behalf of others? What if the wrong person gets into the Uber of someone you're supposed to take care of? I actually like having these kinds of conversations; I actually have fantasies about having these kind of conversations.
"I'm a female Uber driver."
justdrive85
And we have to make the world more equitable and safer for multiple kinds of people. And we have to start seeing and listening to multiple kinds of people. And it's not going to be perfect in our lifetimes. And it doesn't have to ruin everything if things get uncomfortable sometimes. However, it will take time and effort and patience.
And if I'm nice and calm and grounded, I can even integrate the goodness that can come from understanding multiple points of view, instead of feeling like they're making me ping pong around every place.
I really think inequity sucks a lot and I wish other people were just as mad about it as me, because why not? I don't care. I'm not that spiritual sometimes when it comes to those things. I'm not like the picture I deleted a talk by Wayne Dyer who thinks all resentment is unjustified. I don't really f****** care; just get mad. Neither spiritual friend nor hard-working Mexican American man shall be a chaperone to me if I end up going on a musical excursion. I actually thought spiritual friend might be able to do so because she lives with people who are in a band and her ex-husband used to be in a band, but on second thought, maybe that is not a good indicator.
"Daily Dose of Protest: Gasoline Girls" – Tori Amos – The Ongoing History of Protest Music
"Contains Gasolina - Daddy Yankee"
Dewwwdropzz
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThPWpJ6Q/
Daddy Yankee - "Gasolina [Official Music Video]"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGKrc3A6HHM
πΆπΆπΆ
⏰π️π¦Έπ»♀️π³πΌπ΅π»
"WHAT IS GOING ON π©"
dustinpoynter
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DULzDh-DTf8/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
The healing is underway! π
"dating in US"
slavgirlinus
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW66pwBgbxR/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"WHAT IS GOING ON π©"
dustinpoynter
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DULzDh-DTf8/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Three years later I'm still piecing my life back together"
amanda_standhope_official
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXRKddKjCmy/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==