Bruce Springsteen - "Erie Canal (The Seeger Session)"
Tuesday, April 14, 2026
Not an outliner by nature, but I can make outlines.
So the way I used to write papers is this: I had to kind of purge myself of a bunch of ideas, and then I would look at them, and then I would sort of try to mold it and shape it a little more, and then a little more, and a little more, and eventually I would turn something in, and it would get an A minus.
Grounding.
X: So I might do a little excursion because I looked up this place and blah blah blah blah blah. But I don't know if he's going to accept my reservation because I don't have a lot of history on Airbnb and blah blah blah. So I said I was going on the trip because blah blah blah so he wouldn't think I'm crazy.
Y: I don't know why you're worried that someone's going to think you're crazy.
Instead, the cat is crazy. She's crashing around.
Oh good; so grounding!!!!
Life is getting better!😊
"The Lies of Tradwife Submission and 'Weaker Vessel'"
therealmanifestelle
I felt like looking at what this comedian 's posting because she's funny.
"Men find women who walk this way most attractive"
AnnaAkana
Maybe that happens a lot, actually.
Can a plate throwing type of day really transition into something that's more graceful and peaceful?
"Date With A Child Psychologist" - SNL
https://youtube.com/watch?v=naK3KWjbAzA&si=ea0WO7gRBEOe0O51
🍄🌾🌿🌻🪻🌼🌵🏵️☘️🌺🌷
Maybe I can get a simpler assignment.
I want a simpler one! Like when I sat next to the author of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" on a plane as a kid, and then I reached my destination (MI), and that evening I looked on the back of someone else's book and I said, "Hey, I sat next to that guy on the plane."
I think that this is why there's a category that it is best to call "eccentric."
It's almost like mental illness, or else maybe it's just like nature's trying to speed up creative processes. Nature just sees a little window of opportunity and it's like okay, speed up this process. Speed it along now.
How can one keep up?
And now things are s
upposed to be funny, again?
"A whole new level of service"
u/ Shimei-Chan
The butterflies LOVE Mexico.
"21 Million Butterflies Live In One Small Spot - A-Z Animals"
https://a-z-animals.com/articles/21-million-butterflies-live-in-one-small-spot/
I mean, if there's still coldness and fear because of unhealed covert abuse / trauma...
It's possible to use it, utilize it somehow?
"Rümeysa Öztürk: I Saw the Horrors of ICE Detention Firsthand. It Is No Place For A Child"
Oh dear, you'd think they would have better things to do with their time.
"French woman, 86, held by ICE after moving to US to reunite with long-lost love"
I think Patriarchal norms have been doing a real disservice to humanity.
There's all this weird stuff you learn in church and in school and then you see who's running the government and it's completely screwed up and it's really messed with people's minds and they don't want to look at it but it's really done a number on a lot of people's minds. That's what I think.
It's funny how the cat doesn't notice that I'm strange for certain types of society.
The cat thinks I'm just like a normal person who pets her and feeds her and everything. I don't know. Some of us are not really supposed to be playing up to certain elements of society right now. As much as others, perhaps. Maybe maybe we just have different life missions or something.
Time to get more positive again...
Anyways, hopefully the disenfranchised ones can get more help from the people who feel motivated to be more curious about others.
Anyways, incredible talent is incredible talent, but it's not as important as other things.
Maybe you should try harder to be more like a meal that feels like it's going to be nourishing experience instead of an incredible dessert for a bunch of other people who are fulsome with praise but are also really blind to a lot that's going on and they are also not terribly cognizant of some things.
I guess it's hard to break a long habit.
You've mainly been like a servant to white men and / or the type of girls that white men prefer to put on pedestals for your whole life pretty much. It's not my job to break your bad habits. Break your own bad f****** habits on your own f****** time. They do not give a s*** they are not going to encourage you to break any bad habits. They truly do not give a s*** and they would not give a s*** about you if you were in a different body and had a different type of circumstance ascribe to you and I don't trust them and I'm not hanging out with these people who are addicted to acting entitled to be complete assholes.
Hence the incredible discomfort that always comes up.
It's sad if you think that way of life is the best that you can do. You're cheating yourself. Maybe you can do better in another life if you really believe that's the very best you can do in this life. I suppose that's the danger of getting lots and lots of praise for being the way that you are. You just have no motivation to change because you get so much praise for the way you are already and it's like why would you want to change? Why would you want to? It's so good right now, even though it's not good enough, but it's good enough? It looks really screwed up.
You and your friends have made it clear that people like me and your mother and other certain kinds of people that I already know who are living are like worthless pieces of s*** to you.
Yourself and your stepfather would have no comfortable retirement without your mother. You guys are just the take that keeps on taking. You attract people into your circle around you who are also the take that keeps on taking. They take and they take and they take and they take and that's all they f****** do is take. They expect to be celebrated for their great talent at taking. And taking and taking and taking and taking and taking. Do you know what that is? I think it's exhausting. Exhausting, exhausting, exhausting, exhausting exhausting exhausting.
"I'm ignoring your pain like you're ignoring your pain."
Big Patriarchal Folks Are Less Abundant With Certain Kinds of Daughters Vibes.
Of course other people have noticed this too, but what did Patriarchal Society want them to do with that knowledge???
Unfortunately, there's a lot of covert abuse that gets covered up in families, and sometimes one person seems to bear the brunt of it more than others, I've noticed. I have to get some needles stuck in me right now so I'll just think better and more calming thoughts in case they take my blood pressure.
And what do we mean by better?
Maybe some people's moms got to reincarnate and find better groups of friends in the next incarnation.
Have you gotten skinny and rich enough yet?
Okay so as soon as you get pregnant fawn all over a man and stop giving a s*** about women and children you're going to be a really great fit for this. I don't know what is it exactly?
Which babysitter do you think cares more about kids being locked away in a detention center?
The average mother babysitter, or the exceptional teenage babysitter? Because I bet it's the teenage babysitter.
So many choices to make now!
Because she's the best even though she never gave birth, choose the teenage babysitter who's fun and whose parents have a pool and who wants to be a pediatrician.
Let's talk about all the babysitting that's going to happen.
Now I remember that when I went to see the blonde mother babysitter, even though she had to babysit to make money, they still seemed quite well off. They had a bunch of land. They had a nice house and she had a telescope. And oh my God this telescope, it was just the forbidden fruit of the house. I will tell you that. Very off limits to the children, of course.
Free the disenfranchised; it's your freedom too!
"Hundreds of sex toys thrown around during California anti-ICE protest" – The Mercury News
The song of humanity. Sometimes.
"I just love having an effect. It actually really doesn't matter what effect. I just love having an effect. It really boosts my self-esteem."
Oh, I do wonder if this could be the case for some people.
"spiritual women are blocked from a normal life"
@amy_untamed
I must look these creators up again.
🧑🏻🩰🪭🪩💃🏻
There they are.
"Part 38 | Replying to"
Caroline
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkfoAQNW/
"When a stamp gets born"
@kendragaylord
So many old screenshots to say goodbye to...
This is from several years ago.
Overshare and care or overshare don't care mode.
There's so much more to delete than that. There's so much more. Time to get on that.
I'm going to have fun finding a place to go away to by myself.
My whole life is my work. It doesn't matter who thinks I'm successful or who thinks I'm nice. People are being pressured into going along with a lot of lies that their repressed churches and abusive families and not very imaginative educators fed to them, and then they end up living lesser lives than they could be living.
Anyways, finding out more about the locations of different kinds of muscles in various places has mostly been a result of being in contact with several nice women who have more knowledge about how to exercise. That has not turned me into a thin person, but nevertheless it has been very educational for me. Know the vehicle you inhabit.
Maybe more divorces could have extremely good outcomes for society!?
"Billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott has donated again"
Two songs I started and then stopped and I guess I will finish watching them later.
I guess you just got to hope that the talent survives the other talent(s)?
Moray - "I'm So Addicted to Male Validation"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lkaoz6En7cc&si=hGXHe_PYrgMjStZ6
We Three - "Dear Diary"
People will be scared of the title of this piece, but in my opinion, they should read it anyway.
"Most Men Don’t Rape – But Most Men Benefit From Rape" – AMY KING
https://amyking.wordpress.com/2026/01/19/most-men-dont-rape-but-most-men-benefit-from-rape/
Tend to your health after you have a setback.
I'm putting my health first, and also I think there are some people who have some compassion and empathy for the difficulties I've been through, and it helps to be able to believe that sometimes. I was feeling like I was healing a lot more and then I kind of felt like I had a setback and I want to go back to feeling more on a path of healing and harmony. A lot of people had trauma when they were growing up, but according to their experiences and what seemed to help them, they have had very different ways of handling themselves. Ask the universe for more help when you become aware that some things became too difficult and you felt like you got stretched to the limit too much.
Monday, April 13, 2026
Aw...This is just rather nervous system regulating to read...
"Henry David Thoreau is one of those figures whose name one may know but whose writing often boils down in the mind to titles of works never read — including 'Walden' and 'Civil Disobedience.' Some lines may be familiar: 'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation'; 'Our life is frittered away by detail ... simplify, simplify!' (The latter I first heard quoted by a character played by Dick Van Dyke in the movie 'What a Way to Go!') Thoreau coined the phrase 'different drummer,' which links him directly to Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, whose song 'Different Drum' became a hit for Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Poneys in 1967."
~ Robert Lloyd
"Henry David Thoreau' documentary from Ken Burns reveals his relevance" - Los Angeles Times
A peaceful Southern event.
"WUCF Brings Henry David Thoreau Off the Screen and Into the Garden This Earth Month"
Such a peaceful Midwestern activity.
"A Walk Thoreau Nature: PBS Wisconsin Thoreau Pop-Up"
https://pbswisconsin.org/events/a-walk-thoreau-nature-pbs-wisconsin-thoreau-pop-up/
Tsk, O. Palme
"Abandoned by their own government, the hostages viewed their captors—who showed them small acts of care—as less threatening than the reckless authorities outside. The captors offered food and conversation. The authorities offered tear gas and martyrdom.
In reality, Stockholm Syndrome wasn’t about irrational attachment to abusers. It was a survival response to a system that had already written them off as expendable."
~ Lovette Jallow
Anyways, I guess I have to pay more attention in case there's any sudden transitions coming up.
Creative writing thoughts from earlier....
"I'm so mad about chewing on my skirt that I hope that the universe thinks that somebody as messed up as you is what happens when Emerson dies and comes back. Can someone who's actually been to Frankenmuth be such a jerk. Of course, I'm sure lots of assholes have visited Frankenmuth. I bet you wanted a lot of the not so nice people to be friends with you. I bet you had terrible taste in men. I bet you wanted immature jocks to be more accepting and accommodating and nicer, and now sometimes you have to act like some jerk because you were trying to be better friends with these other people who are also choked up limited repressed people and their jerkiness rubbed off on you. Eeesh. You're just less scary than other men in your family. Did you just pick a scary picture because you have scary things in your lineage. You're supposed to figure it out though. You should get deep in your research and become a real scholar about it. Glad I didn't need to meet someone as scary as that when I was younger. Oh, apparently I had to meet other scary people instead. I met other scary people anyways, so I didn't miss out on the scariness. Isn't it actually amazing that you've got this really weird mean controlling side? Maybe you should write a sensitive song about that, how sometimes sappy people have this alternate side of their personality. Have fun with that? Do you think you would be nicer if you were in a creative writing group?"
You should try to integrate your personalities and be a better person.
You should work harder on that.
There's a lot of problems.
Geez, why put it off? Is it so great for you right now? Is it really that great?
Bet a whole spectrum of mothers and children and women and girls could be treated A LOT better in the future. People should quit stalling. Just change. It's not that hard. You'd be changing a lot faster if you had more motivation to change. You know who has the motivation to change. People who don't have other people fawning all over them and people who don't have a bunch of comfortable things easily accessible to them. Those are the people who have more motivation to change. But why is it that way. It could be that some of the more comfortable people could have more motivation to change too. I think it could be. It's not entirely impossible for it to be that way, too. It's not entirely impossible for that to happen.
I'll just have to ask the Cosmic Mother for more help, I guess?
I bet I wouldn't have any problems with chewing on skirts if I had gone to a church that taught me more about the Cosmic Mother. Then, when foolish people acted stupid, I wouldn't be feeling like, Oh my God it's hopeless. Oh my God, it's that flinging oneself over the cliff feeling again. Oh no, it's the patriarchy. It's the pastors and the churches. It's the stupid men being in charge of all the money and all the governments and all the music on the radio! Oh wow, so that story about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a thing that exists because people really do act like that sometimes.
I really was pretty sad about the skirt today.
I was so disgusted that I started chewing on a nice skirt that I liked today. Nobody will ever know how absolutely disgusted I feel about that. You know sometimes I think people have friends who are men who haven't done the work that they're supposed to be doing and then you think you want to yell at them and say something like, "You just want someone to yell at you because you had mean men in your family. Maybe it's not the only life! Mean past life blood in your psyche, too? Whose telling your deceased mom and your deceased loves on you? You need help. You need to get like shamanic healing or something. You're supposed to be sensitive but you're almost like a mean stockbroker or something when you're in a bad mood. Good thing you weren't born into a rich family in this life."
This music looked interesting to me, but I'm going to have to miss a live show of it.
"Yiddish Hula Boy (Becky I Ain't Coming Back)"
Janet Klein and her Parlor Boys
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xh9Exl3uqzo&si=cXukRRj-iMHiiVyS
I decided I have to put my healing ahead of attending a live show of music and there's a scheduling conflict so I'll just have to look some tunes up on YouTube, as usual.
Wow, the patriarchy needs healing! I can't believe my clothing and my teeth have to suffer so much.
Wow! There's some really crazy, like, mean manipulative stock broker man type energy out there sometimes. People that are sensitive and don't like that stuff have it hard.
Go look up covert abuse and look for instances of it and how it affected your childhood.
Next time I should just start yelling at the assholes much earlier and first, without ruining my own f****** clothes in the process.
Acting like assholes is not an abundance mindset.
Sheltered white people are the best at acting like feeling entitled to behave like the insensitive shallow assholes the patriarchal culture wanted them to be is the best they can do. And they're also the most gullible when it comes to acting like it's fine to discount all the other kinds of people whose labor is constantly making everyone else feel like they're supposed to put just them on a pedestal at the expense of others. And they're also the best at being terrible at trying to put themselves in other people's shoes. That's what they really excel at; being terrible at considering others. That's what they're the absolute best at.
Unfortunately, sometimes there are relapses.
I like these two humorous perspectives.
"My Ancestors Deciding to Live in the Midwest"
ohhyoubetcha
https://youtube.com/shorts/LmrMt2PqO8Q?si=MjCr6MgGmT5pKA-Z
"I don't like that."
burger_babie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXDH3CFAUNO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
After all, why not strive to improve upon what was far from perfection?
And it's also not necessarily the goal to be totally 100% perfect while doing it. Because that would be hard and change is hard and nobody's going to be 100% perfect at doing it. Just remember to aim to have a general upwards trajectory right? Possibly, the good change could happen even faster than expected!
"This is How a Professional Counselor Describes Covert Emotional Abuse"
drdavidbhawkins
So encouraging.
I think more people sharing about how excited they are to overcome the covert abuse patterns that they were indoctrinated with either at home or at school or in various ways on account of their Patriarchal upbringings in a Patriarchal culture that is currently crumbling is really something to look forward to!
Imperfect and not always perfectly organized but colorful.
I feel like a Rubik's cube is also not the perfect analogy, but nevertheless a Rubik's cube comes to mind. I've never solved one after it got rearranged probably, but it seems like the little squares of a Rubik's cube are reminding me more about how a lot of people have many different facets to their personality.
I can tell that I have a facet of my personality that is kind and nurturing and really wants people to be helped and more healed, and maybe that facet of my personality is more tuned in to some of the Cosmic Mother energy, because isn't that part of what being here is all about.
But because the Patriarchical Society on this planet makes it a place where survival strategies are necessary to get through difficult days and times, there's also lots of other squares...
Sharing is caring!
If face to face conversations are not happening yet, I would be super interested in reading more detailed essays about some people's formative childhood experiences!
Protesting Patriarchy.
"A few dozen anti-ICE protesters had gathered around noon and began adorning the fence surrounding the Metropolitan Detention Center in downtown L.A. with silicone phalli of all colors — pink, purple and human skin-colored.
As the toys piled up outside the facility, a small group of protesters spilled onto Alameda Street, between Aliso and Temple streets. They carried signs reading 'Detention centers are concentration camps' and 'No ICE.'"
~ Suhauna Hussain
"ICE detention facility pelted with sex toys"
Scales falling from eyes feelings...
If a way of life is too abusive to be tolerable for other people's children, it might not actually be so great for the more "privileged" ones, either.
Waking up...
People who can't talk about the scary things, too, are too scary to me.
"Isolation generates abuse"
streetlighteyesdontdie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXAQ1mkkWR-/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sunday, April 12, 2026
I just have to lean into this for a little bit.
The universe even arranged it so that I feel like, when I was a kid on an island in the Pacific Northwest and I ran down the hill in front of the house that my mother and her boyfriend decided to buy, I was really excited because it felt very rural and different and like it was something out of another era or out of a book I had been reading, and it's all mixed up with how I was getting this impression of two guys having some sort of argument about a horse or something that was kind of trivial but also important, and it felt kind of like two 19th century guys were doing that. That was intermingling with the freedom of discovering the new landscape on the island.
Because energy is trying to communicate with a sentient person.
Anyways, I think the universe wanted me to look at Thoreau and Emerson walking around a pond, sometimes getting along and sometimes arguing. Maybe / probably arguing more than normal. Humanity's just flailing around trying to get to the next level and you're not that different from other people; be prepared for some arguments.
She reminds me more of the positive role model!
"There are so many conversations that we could have..."
carolineconnen
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVbsaBxjvAK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Doesn't change much about the reflexive coldness of some people, but...it's progress, I guess.
"The anti-ICE resistance is working"| Judith Levine
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/12/anti-ice-protests-trump
Disenfranchised grief is a big thing.
Disenfranchised people are totally going to get seen by somebody.
Ugh, the scar.
It's a good thing that when I was a little kid in upstate New York, I had a nice, fun, blonde teenage babysitter who taught me how to go swimming to compare to the much meaner blonde mother who was oppressive and stabbed me with a needle. Because she was trying to dig a splinter out of my finger out of duty and not with much compassion, and, well, it just not a good experience, for me or my sister or the brown boy.
Of course, sometimes the mind wants to figure out more about the negative lessons, but maybe we should just think more about the positive like swimming lessons and peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and playing games and the funny laugh the nice babysitter had. She had a very distinctive laugh. It was kind of like a sneeze.
I'm pretty sure the blonde mother had too much on her plate to care about anyone else's kids and really should not have been babysitting us, but unfortunately she was a mother in a patriarchal society, and babysitting was a way to make money.
The Big D.
"Disappointment"| Nature Walk Talks with Dr. Dale Atkins
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2s_BB86z9hU&si=uo5KNboxx8xmKlyW
🌊🎶🌊🎶🌊🎶
Wet Leg - "Chaise Longue (Official Video)"
What are we here on Earth to do?
I think it would be interesting to talk about how the idea of knowing some people can be both appealing and scary at the same time.
Some of us die sooner than others, for some reason.
Is this actually provocative or is it just kind of a normal question?
If we don't want other people's children to be in concentration camps any more than we want our children to be in concentration camps then why don't we get better at acting like it?
Some humans seem to want to stop being so... What's the word?
Maybe some people should make a list of which topics they find unattractive to explore and why?
It could be really interesting to find out why you find some topics to be more uncomfortable to explore than others.
I'm not saying this to pick on people. I'm saying, if these are things that need to be healed, they're not going to go away if people don't want to address them. So it could be interesting to find out why some people don't want to address them.
It's also interesting to find out why some people find it more tolerable to kind of just ignore what's happening and keep on going along with life, and other people find it more intolerable, and why that is so.
At least I don't wake up thinking about them all the time anymore.
When Earth feels like such a dense place, it makes me kind of wonder if I was a concentration camp non-survivor in another life. Should I ever read that guy's book, the one that Joy Division referenced? It would be also something to see this documentary.
"The Return from the other Planet"| Filmmakers Live
Kitty is super friendly. It's good energy perhaps?
Helpful "Don't turn into a spendthrift on clothing" therapy.
"I tell my patients that BMI is not a good indicator of health"
healthislove.co
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWkYzltDkLS/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"When the beauty standard is thinness..."
lucievallee
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWGa2gGDW_B/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I'm angry. Anyone else?"
alexlight_ldn
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWjgT_ijBZh/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Isn't an affinity for repetition kind of like an "on the spectrum" activity?
And perhaps that is why going through these hiccups / phases of immaturity can be somewhat comforting...
"Hell’s Grannies" | Monty Python (Official Sketch)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fvRgf5KK08U&si=74oaPhJktCZB69Az
"Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=g3YiPC91QUk&si=pK8WO-KbVGD730j2
"Huge Tracts of Land"
~ Monty Python
Being inquisitive and curious is very genuine.
I actually think it's more genuine for me to get more inquisitive because I'm actually really curious. Sometimes I'm more curious than lead eyelid on, then I've let on, and sometimes I think I've been given access to more information than I've talked about. Even though I've already talked about a lot of stuff and rambled about it and probably rambled on, on purpose. Because making things messy and imperfect is kind of a survival strategy sometimes.
Good luck to me with this.
I'm going to try to get better at being inquisitive instead of reactive. Reactive to my own trauma, reactive to how someone else's different experiences trigger me...I feel like I just want to get more inquisitive instead. I think it might produce better interactions and results and things like that.
Apparently, I didn't choose a wife, I mean a life, with one strict solution that's going to solve everything.
Am I supposed to look at funny things? Am I supposed to look at sad things? Am I supposed to look at poetry? Am I supposed to look at music? Am I supposed to exercise? Go grocery shopping? What am I supposed to do now? Well, I think I'm going to send out a nature poem that I workshopped last year and got feedback on. Do you know the value of somebody really paying attention to a piece of work when it's in progress? Even if it's just one small poem. It's almost like having the memory of a really good dinner.
I think things will get better, and I think it's alright that a lot of things have been strange.
It's still such a great opportunity to get to know more about life?
I really was looking forward to getting insights from the exphrasis class before the plans changed.
I believe I'm slowly receiving more insights from the universe anyways!
It's fine to eat cookies sometimes!
I most certainly will sprinkle edible glitter on some of them. Also, I found out that apparently I will get to learn more about something called "goddess squats" tomorrow from someone who knows more about that sort of thing than I do.
As I reflect back on this life so far, I wouldn't say I've been that "successful" by outward metrics, but I do think that sometimes I've been given an indication that some people can hear me, and they think I have potential to maybe get more "successful" in the future, possibly?
You know I do believe baking with music is pretty enjoyable for me.
"Soul blueprint 🎶"
"I Can't See New York (2023 Remaster)" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HRUNACbbfZs&si=bM6kiMPT-AKOyQI2
I'm waiting for the butter to soften.
And I'm burning incense, American, I mean, A MYRRH CONE, lol. And then I'm going to bake starchies and probably work on a puzzle and listen to "The Tenth Island" by D. Marcum on CD.
"ah to be 30 years old in 1990..."
mysweetrooker
Decided this is also a good time for baking a certain recipe.
"Tonight I finally made the starchies"
kaiser.nathaniel
https://www.instagram.com/p/C-l9ReluA-u/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"baking is expensive"
ashbaber
https://youtube.com/shorts/viR1ayhkwL4?si=SRplmWa6XUT_9JJv
I took a picture of it when my sister was visiting and it's perfect because I accidentally bought too much cornstarch one time when I already had enough, and plus I have enough butter, and plus there's an old can of condensed milk from back when we went to the food bank. So it's perfect. And I can add jam to them later if I want to.
I'm excited about listening to this book on CD again.
"The Tenth Island: Finding Joy, Beauty, and Unexpected Love in the Azores"
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39975783-the-tenth-island
I have my stepfather's CD player from the '90s and it still works!
I decided to listen this book because I read this!
"You Know Me Now" — HerStry
https://herstryblg.com/theme/2025/8/18/you-know-me-no
(Bonnie Hearn Hill writes about Diana Marcum)
I'd probably never have read that if I hadn't met this person, and I'm ordering his / their book.
"Slowly Through the Grove": Brantingham, John, Brantingham, Ann: 9798991872461: Amazon.com: Books
https://www.amazon.com/Slowly-Through-Grove-John-Brantingham/dp/B0G4LCCK6Y
Sometimes professionals f*** things up.
Y: I found where she f***** it up, so here's this form and here's this line and here's this form and this line and oh look at that blah blah blah.
X: To be honest I just had someone I mean some wine so you're going to have to show me this in the future.
Y: It's all right. Just believe me that she f***** it up.
X: Well, I'm sorry, especially since I'm the one who suggested using her services
Y: It's all right. It's a learning experience.
X: I really am asking you to show me it later though because I do want to know.
Y: That's fine.
We must give ourselves credit when we recognize patterns.
Reminded me that I hoped other people have done more healing in regards to their mother wound traumas, and who knows, some of them might also be treating themselves and other people's minds and bodies better these days.
"something weird is happening on these girls trips"
therealmanifestelle
And it tends to be the ones who have experienced more adverse conditions who are changing more quickly.
"X-wing dropping matriarchy bombs in the patriarchy death star"
luc.ai
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVq_Ad_j0b2/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sometimes it feels like a lot of men in this era are changing, actually.
Now I'm going to transition to another topic.
"Why do patriarchal men love joking that their wife is the boss?"
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/s/xYIT7GQHZe
They were adults, but extremely young ones.
This is the sort of thing that hovers around the periphery of my life a lot, still.
"Remembering the Lives of the Four Slain Students"
There's a paywall, but I can see that this person is 19 years old, so...
It makes you wonder how his community raised him.
"Why this disillusioned Trump voter spends hours searching the Epstein Files"
Just as a ballpark average...
How much do some people's kids have to discount other people's existences in order to make their particular set of parents feel more comfortable and happy?
In an era of Jeffrey Epstein fans acting like toddlers and running things...
Do you know why the patriarchy prefers the people who identify more as the babies versus as the eldest or the caretakers or the ones who have to watch out for others or the ones who have to be on alert to notice what's going on with other people.
What do you think about that.
What's up with lots of people accepting money for locking other people away, like even little kids and stuff?
Do you have any insights as to why some people might be more okay with that sort of occupation???
We are aware that superficial forms of love are quite malnourishing to all body types.
But it still seems like Patriarchal Society wants certain types of people born into certain types of bodies to feel a certain amount of gratification more quickly in exchange for repeating certain kinds of behavior patterns.
It's really like no amount of money is ever enough.
It's amazing how much spoiled princes feel the need to unsee and oppress people, and they need girls and women to want to act like human rights for anyone who isn't a spoiled prince is a topic that is so unimportant to consider! I feel shocked. I feel shocked daily by this pattern. It's like, a very bad habit. It's their version of eating too many potato chips.
You know what feels very problematic and unabundant and anti-Cosmic Mother?
Unseeing the same kinds of girls your parents had to unsee so they could keep the Patriarchy propped up just so some people could have nicer houses to live in.
You know whose fault this is.
"In American culture we have seen standards of attractiveness that are substantially slimmer for women than men (which can be seen in comments/beliefs that overweight women are 'fat' yet overweight men are 'sturdy'). And over time, this standard for women has only gotten worse, with women trying to lose more and more weight. 'This media ideal is quite pervasive in society, with female cartoon characters, movie/television actresses, Playboy centerfolds, and Miss America Pageant winners all having become increasingly thinner over the decades.'”
~ Lisa Quast
"Why Being Thin Can Actually Translate Into A Bigger Paycheck For Women"
The laughter of the living during tax season!
Wow! You contributed a lot to your Roth IRA.
It's sad that you say that's a lot. It shows what a poverty mentality you have.
Well, I mean compared to what you earned for the year.
Yeah, that's because you were paying my rent. I also earned interest from a high-yield savings account. So we have to enter that.
Heh, that pretty much did not affect the refund at all!
Heh heh heh.
It's very gloomy & rainy outside, but it actually looks perfect!
Greyness can be very refreshing, like the bewitching weather of the Pacific Northwest has come down South to help us out. And now, there won't be as much chance of wildfires for a little bit. Nature helps everything look so pretty again!
I'm going to crochet now, and put my crochet hat on while I do it.
"Burn Your Village (Same Old Energy pt.II)" - Official Video
KikiRockwell
This is very cute! And heartwarming! And cat loving!
"harold update ❤️"
lucilletherescuecat
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXAxFGlESGA/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
It's kind of a staying in day, I guess.
The physical vehicle I inhabit has decided it's time to be more mindful. I got some twingey pains so I have taken one choline and one cholacol and one Livton after I ate one egg with some chopped cactus in olive oil and a toasted tortilla but I was probably in a scattered mood as I was eating and that's not really for the best for the digestive organs. Also I put Cholula hot sauce on it and I have no idea if that matters or not.
I suspect the great cause was that they fed him.
"Had a wonderful evening raising money for a great cause."
@teamcoco
https://www.instagram.com/p/DW-rBLUCOzw/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Ha! Ha!
"Please do all this extra work to improve your physical health and psychological state, and grow as a spiritual being, and also be sure to make time to watch the shows that are good for the guys."
Well, maybe this is a good show for some men to watch; it could be.
I haven't watched it. I have still got to watch the Thoreau thing, and I haven't watched that yet, either.
"Scrubs Has a Sneakily Radical Vision of Male Friendship"
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/2026/04/scrubs-reboot-male-friendship/686723/
🩰TIL about sneakerinas 👟👟
"My Honest Opinion About the Viral Sneakerina Shoes"
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/clothing/a69168484/sneakerina-shoe-review/
It's fun to be a student.
Y: "I feel like I'm learning much more from the tax software than I did from the f****** CPA."
X: "That's good!"
I don't know why people have to be so weird.
I'm a simple enough person. I like good food. I like to read books. I like to go on nature walks. I like taking pictures of pretty things in nature. It's fine.
But I also have to read memoirs and accounts of others getting through their suffering to help me get through this life.
Gotta look at something more whimsical soon; I know I can be so whimsical.
And I gotta go swimming soon, and get into a more whimsical mood so then I can be more...
🌊 Swimsical!🧜🏻♀️
"Cruel" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8j3IQH74jXc&si=SsyTuXlBCcl6xGQL
Oof.
Fiona Apple - "Sleep To Dream"
I can't go home! Well, at least I feel warmer now.
I don't know what the universe is doing, and it feels like I'm a puppet for a higher power, and I'm just going to have more sore core muscles (that's kinda cool actually) and a still not so skinny body! The universe just doesn't care if I want to conform; it's going to make me be a bad fit, anyway. Oh well. Time to give up now!
Saturday, April 11, 2026
Well, coldness, once again.
At least I can feel like a higher power sees more kinds of people and wants to see them more than the cold Patriarchal people were trained to see others. The coldness, which is too much to deal with sometimes, is damaging things, sabotaging fun, interfering with communication, and all of that, because it is too controlling. I ate a not too healthy snack, and although the dark chocolate chips didn't have sugar in them, the white chocolate ones certainly did. The coldness, it won't be ignored. But it can't be helped unless it wants to help itself. I've let the coldness stress me out again. Have to figure out a better way of dealing with it. I think I'll make a cup of tea.
It's actually very precious to have time to walk and process.
And notice which songs get in your head.
Tori Amos ~ "Rattlesnakes"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qOuCBaJYTIY&si=T0JFQTCUsNe7SGhj
And wonder why those songs get in your head.
Blonde Redhead - "Magic Mountain"
Take care of your heart(s) and your nervous system(s)!
Anyways, I also got told the other day that something really sad for me had happened, and what had happened was a toilet paper factory caught fire, LOL. But not LOL about the factory catching fire, but the attempt at humor was very appreciated.
I think the cat really likes this life. She seems happy a lot.
I get a lot of satisfaction from the cat being happy.
Update: The cat left because she got bored and now she's outside.
I'll probably look at clothes after this. They can be beautiful. Like preparing meals.
"The Mermaid (1904) Georges Méliès"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AIG01ZEROL0&si=-IWFAk3-7cgc_2e5
Rodriguez - "Inner City Blues"
But why can't I do self-care the rich people way? Well okay, I guess I'll try it.
"How to Do Abhyanga, a Self Massage with Warm Oil"
@banyanbotanicals
Also, you can learn a lot from dreary times.
Like, oh I got a little bit better at organizing today. Oh, I got a little bit better at folding clothes. Oh wow, things got really messy in that corner of the house didn't they? And then we just wanted to ignore it and look at stuff on our phones or look at a movie. Or daydream. Well, the farmers tackled their tasks and got things done all the time right away, and wasn't that great? Unfortunately, they were also quite sexist and emotionally mutilated a lot of the time, but the house was organized.
Precious? Prescient?
Finding it interesting that a lot of people don't get taught this unless you maybe seek out certain kinds of books or films, but sometimes romantic gestures are really just a form of control, and then it feels like freedom is more valuable. But then again, maybe sometimes romantic gestures are an expression of creativity, and creativity is a gateway to freedom.
People need to believe they deserve more joy and freedom.
It feels like many people have become accustomed to settling and sacrificing so they don't feel as much joy and freedom, and in some ways this is also being reflected by the people who have agreed to infringe on other people's freedoms and rob them of their joy in exchange for a paycheck. But then it seems like sometimes people do still seek out feelings of freedom and joy, but less so with other people, and it's more of a furtive, solitary activity.
I thought this one was good; I heard it on the way to visiting a nature preserve.
🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
"Clean comedy #doves #birds #standup"
byjacobsamuel
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5y07CGynAw/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
On the other hand, I do still believe in energy work.
I do think that when people get better at taking care of themselves, they can cultivate more peaceful patterns, and an aura of peace and love can surround them, and that energy might be very powerful, and more of what society really needs.
They get to read the edition where she says more feminist stuff in it now, too, compared to when I was a kid.
"Anne Frank’s ironic place in the classroom during ICE raids"
Obviously!
Well, thank you for giving me such an affinity for the forgotten, abandoned, abused children in detention centers, on account of how often it feels like my experiences are even more worthless to The Patriarchal Mothers and Fathers than a Bad Mother's.
Time to go pay attention to a creature.
There's a strange cat yowling outside.
Nevermind, it decided to go away.
It is so nice to know that more of the "different" ones will be be treated better in the future.
Fewer people will slip through the cracks. But good change is necessary so that can happen!
There's resistance to change. It sometimes surprises and disappoints you who ends up being resistant. People you would have thought wouldn't have been that way when you were younger might end up disappointing you.
People can be terribly old-fashioned when they have something at stake, and when they're trying to protect themselves. But we cannot all accommodate their egos just to get access to some of resources that they have.
I am not supposed to disregard my own experiences, am I? To accommodate whose egos? In exchange for what, exactly?
Friday, April 10, 2026
Definitely not here to keep others oppressed just to accommodate their egos.
If my stances make some people start to question their own decisions and tendencies to go along with certain patterns, and perhaps to wonder about their previous actions, and even the actions and decisions of some of the people they were taught to admire, well, maybe there's a reason they're doing so.
Anyways, I think being a "Good Girl" according to Patriarchal Standards all the time is just impossible.
What if you're not supposed to keep on "unseeing" as many kinds of kids and moms and dads and aunts and uncles and other kinds people as you were trained unsee just because you're still living in a Patriarchal Society?
And what if you were trained to "unsee" them just to cope with the skewed circumstances of living in a patriarchal society, but that's actually not really for your benefit as much as they wanted you to believe it was?
To be honest, lately I've become rather disturbed by the idea that patriarchal society has drummed into some people a tendency of going along with certain programs and patterns of male entitlement, as if that is just what they must do in order to get by in this culture.
For example, the male entitlement to pronounce certain types of women as the "good" types and other types of women as the "bad" types of women, or maybe the "more abandonable" types is not healthy. It's too controlling and it's done out of insecurity. It leads to more kinds of people and more groups of people being disenfranchised, and that's not a good thing.
I did spend a good part of my twenties and thirties being strongly affected by how trauma and violence affects girls and women. Perhaps it molded my personality and outlook quite a bit.
Want to know how messed up it is / the current iteration patriarchy is?
Driving over to Topanga or Palm Springs or somewhere else for an ayurvedic hormone balancing treatment feels like, not only is it going to NOT be covered by any sort of medical insurance (some people are lucky enough to get acupuncture covered, though) but it feels like it's only accessible to rich people, or if you decide put it on your card it's like, "That's so crazy, almost like what an irresponsible meth addict would do, or something."
He got tipped; that was good!
"Do women who hate men actually..."
streetlighteyesdontdie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW-GS74EVUR/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I have got to say, the timing was really something.
The timing of first reading the incredibly sad and moving ending of Simone de Beauvoir's memoir before finding out about another sudden and unexpected departure.
I was partially thinking about M. Fragoso, and I was thinking about lots of other kinds of loss / death situations, as well.
"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/164006.Memoirs_of_a_Dutiful_Daughter
It's also easier for me to read this book. I still don't own Margaux's book. I'm not sure if I want to yet. But I might want to someday. It's in a lot of libraries.
I feel like billowy pants sliced in half could become a real skirt that I could wear outside.
I need a sewing machine.
They could be sewn up more on the sides.
There's more to learn about birds.
I saw a tiny bird flying close to a very big bird and I wonder why the tiny bird wanted to do that.
When the sun hits the hills like that, it looks so Western!
A very different landscape from what I saw when I was a little kid.
What to do with this Western time...
It's a sky with a finite amount of sunlight in it for the rest of today...
From this one's perspective!
Tori Amos - "Apollo's Frock Improv / Doughnut Song"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_ThPTQNs31w&si=5LxMh8WfrOxzXWFl
"The best songs by Tori Amos, as chosen by her | Interview" | The Line of Best Fit
https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/tori-amos-personal-best
Dinner was good! I also had a chicken skewer.
It's a life with a finite amount of days in it.
"David Lynch's Leaving Limerance"
https://open.substack.com/pub/amyhappens/p/david-lynchs-leaving-limerence
Time to go outside again.
X: I freed a fly. I opened the screen door and now a fly is out there flying around in the freedom of the outdoors!
Y: I was just over there 5 minutes ago and I tried to do that so you were more successful than me.
Three plus one plus a 🎶 musical work that are fun or timely to read.
"His New York"
john brantingham – East Jasmine Review
https://eastjasminereview.com/tag/john-brantingham/
"The Fine Art of the Slow Amble. I move slowly on my hike today around…" | by John Brantingham | The Journal of Radical Wonder | Medium
https://medium.com/the-journal-of-radical-wonder/the-fine-art-of-the-slow-amble-df0955ce22c7
"MacQueen’s Quinterly: Nonfiction: John Brantingham: Writing Flash Fiction and Memoir to Fight a Tragic World View"
http://www.macqueensquinterly.com/MacQ26/Brantingham-Writing-Flash.aspx
"With Coltrane on the Great Western Divide"
john-brantingham — Ghost Town Literary Magazine
http://ghosttownlitmag.com/johnbrantingham
John Coltrane - "A Love Supreme [Full Album] (1965)"
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