During The Walking Meditation.
Cut Chemist - "The Garden Live with the Seattle Symphony"
Friday, March 13, 2026
Friday's been kind of exciting.
I tried out group meditation for the first time in many years and it was more painful and stressful than I expected. There were lots of very specific instructions and the guy in charge wore robes and regalia.
It made me miss the lighter touch of women who led meditation sessions when I was younger. One was from a town in northern Michigan (where was it? Maybe Cheboygan) at school in Binghamton. In Virginia, there was a pregnant woman I really liked who led donation-based meditation sessions at a yoga studio.
Anyways, it was just a reminder that I don't relax so well around controlling men. Even if they have good intentions. My body really tenses up. But there was another woman there who's been there several times. She seemed relaxed enough. So it's clearly not everybody's problem. It's my issue, I guess.
It was by far the most regimented meditation class I've been to. So maybe I just haven't been to a lot of traditional ones.
When I switched from sitting on cushions to sitting on a chair (I had back pain) after a break from sitting and a walking meditation I was instructed to put the chair over the cushions, which were next to the instructor. So we didn't have the cushions in between us, which is what I would have liked.
I felt like I was being made to sit next to the instructor so I could be assessed.
It was tense. I had not some very not harmonious thoughts, especially as the tension in my back intensified and crept upward.
Oh and then I was going to relax in the chair and immediately the instruction was try to sit forward, sit up straight. This wasn't helping my back muscle tension at all! And since he wasn't interested, I didn't feel like saying I can't because of the back muscle tension. I just did it and then relaxed when everybody's eyes were closed. But it wasn't a great relaxing time. My back still hurt.
At the end of it, we were invited to speak. I was able to mention the back muscle tension and then then somehow his focus went to stories about monks doing things like cutting off their arms and immolating themselves and I prayed menstrual cramps wouldn't start happening. I felt so far away from my water bottle. And my ibuprofen.
But I knew it's not like he expected us to be like those monks or anything. It's just that's where his mind went and I didn't necessarily need my mind to go there with him.
He did seem to know it went a little off track and said, "You'll have to forgive me."
So I was tense, and afterwards I decided, look, I've been pretty good with my eating today. I ate very minimally. I was thinking about Ayurveda. But I'm tense now after my meditation session, so maybe I'll get an ice cream.
And I was going to get the Superman ice cream. Cuz I was thinking about the meditation instructor from Michigan, and that's a Michigan ice cream.
But I knew I didn't want to run into the robed and well-intentioned if he wanted an ice cream, too, so I made sure to walk around the block first. After dialoguing with myself a little more, I decided, sure. Why not just get a small cup of Superman ice cream. I was about to walk into the shop that sold it when I saw the robes. I turned around and went into a different ice cream shop.
And that's where I got this!
I was my own sugar daddy tonight.
A Saranac Shirley Temple ice cream soda. I asked them to substitute Rose honeysuckle ice cream for vanilla. I don't think many men are ordering that, huh? Not that there would be anything wrong with it if they did.
Anyways, it was good for a little while and then it got very sweet. I did finish up all the ice cream but I poured out the rest of the Shirley Temple soda because that much sugar is not necessarily my friend.
But I get to relax at home with my beans and cactus and toasted tortilla now.
The more relaxed meditation instructor could have been from Cheboygan.
It's really good to have access to information about different approaches to health.
"This Ayurveda Expert..."
Masoom Minawala
I like this simple, nurturing food content.
"Chilacoyote with fresh tender corn"
Obduliah Ag
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh3hJv5R/
"Macaroni and cheese"
Obduliah Ag
Wanted to know about these hand positions!
"Let's mix a little bit of yoga in..."
agusregina
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVx6AgbAovo/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I really feel I have to pay attention to stuff like this sometimes.
"Male-centered woman..."
paulainked_
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV08sZljlHy/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Thursday, March 12, 2026
Feeling a little bit fascinated. (And amused.)
I seemingly lost 5 lbs the day after I binged on top tier (IMO) chocolate (perhaps it was water weight?) so I'm not following the app's rules about carbs. But I might just get more interested in nutrition for other reasons. Like being able to appreciate my food and eat more vegetables.
Just lots of processing is still going on / happening, I guess!
I just realized it's kind of funny that I saw Nine Inch Nails in concert as a teenager, but I didn't see Tori Amos in concert until I was several decades older.
Nine Inch Nails - "The Hand That Feeds" - Kawehi
Be patient. God will introduce her to nicer people soon...
"God does not ultimately abandon her. Only in recent decades have feminist readers of these texts pointed to the ways in which they reflect and reify violence against women. These texts suggest that women are generally the property of men, and as such, may be controlled, manipulated, and brutalized."
~ Tamar Kamionkowski
"Violence Against Women in the Hebrew Bible | Jewish Women's Archive"
https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/violence-against-women-in-the-hebrew-bible
I don't know. Maybe I'll just drink tea or water for now.
I had eggs and cactus and salsa for lunch and I'm thinking about getting ice cream.
If he's either a great feminist boy or young man or a great feminist girl or young woman now, I wouldn't be very surprised.
Nirvana - "Rape Me (Live And Loud, Seattle / 1993)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=4TsqlT0rfJI&si=0QULgj7O_vUDja3f
I didn't used to like this song very much though. I was so much younger then! Oh also, I guess he wrote it in response to finding out that a girl was raped while the rapist was singing one of their other songs and I didn't know that because there didn't used to be all this information available on the internet so easily.
But don't you have anything nice to say?
I guess they love Jesus more than Epstein loved Jesus, and Epstein loved raped girls more than they love raped girls? Yikes! That's super messed up.
Epstein didn't love raped girls.
Jesus.
Not really.
Has anything they've done indicated to you that they've ever felt compelled to be or were encouraged to be particularly kind to the plethora of raped teenage girls that are out there in the world right now?
I just don't see why more teenage girls should suffer on account of your deficiencies.
I think you have Great Cosmic Mother Deficiency Energy.
I mean let's look at who you do identify with.
Did you ever in your life believe that you, too, could become more prosperous by raping a teenage girl in the eyes of the Lord or in the name of the Lord?
Is there any one in particular that you identify with or feel you might resemble the most?
All rapists are children of God! Very highly favored children.
What are you saying??
Are you implying that some dads have raped teenagers out of consideration for their daughters' marital prospects??
How about as a Clever Matchmaker??
"Daughters of rapists are still highly prized and very sought after by the most valued members of Patriarchal Society. Very valuable matches; incredibly favored in terms of useful marital alliances."
Or are there any other options?
Do you think he'll come back as a blonde rapist or as a girl who meets a rapist?
Let it marinate.
Let's think about how people react when you talk about this topic versus how they react when you talk about that topic.
Oh, I like her stuff...Cursed feminist stuff.
"How Conversations Get Hijacked, and What To Do About It"
@breakingdownpatriarchy
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xYwwNhLvQQI&si=JJUK9XOaf8udUIcE
I will say I don't enjoy memorizing these and I did have to talk about them a lot in a former life. But nevertheless, I do think they are still interesting and well worth considering in certain cases.
I wonder who taught them that?
"57% of Gen Z men say feminism has gone too far"
nikitadumptruck
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVivfiGjXr_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"More 'personal' choices..."
nikitadumptruck
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVdrUDQjRtP/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Feels like watching bits of a nature documentary sometimes
"A new study from King's College..."
therapyjeff
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVi93t3jZAD/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Guys... are you ok?"
laura_h_says
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVL2Sw_DAHt/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Probably almost time for another break again.
"I always used to try to understand people's behaviors..."
therealsouthdakota
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVSg8zYkpEN/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Also, I don't know exactly how it all works in every single instance.
What if a rapist with black hair dies and just comes back as a rapist with blonde hair? Just to see, oh will they hold me accountable when I have blonde hair? And then, after that rapey lifetime, maybe they'll come back as a different person after that?
This is part of why I like believing in reincarnation, though.
"Anything but take responsibility..."
paulainked
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVEBagpjhBM/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sounds like she had a big Patriarchal Supremacy problem to me.
"Sarah Ferguson publicly criticized Epstein. In private, she apologized to her ‘supreme friend’" | CNN Politics
https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/12/politics/sarah-ferguson-jeffrey-epstein-files-messages
I think a lot of teenagers might need to be protected from patriarchal society's most shallow parents.
Especially the really, really rich ones! They tend to get more insensitive as they get richer. It's a traitor, I mean, a trait some of us have noticed.
God, you're so misogynistic. It's really sickening.
I hope your favorite girl dads are not going to get any jobs in hotels as a teenage workers anytime soon when their favorite basketball players come to town. In their next incarnation.
What?! Was she over 18?!
"Epstein documents show he targeted college student in Duluth for 5 years"
"DULUTH — One year after Jeffrey Epstein’s release from a Florida prison for procuring an underage girl for prostitution, he was arranging flights in and out of Duluth for a St. Scholastica nursing student."
~ Trisha Taurinskas
Maybe it can happen even before they hit a teenage year.
So, when you going to have a mature talk with your sons and daughters about your family's belief systems?
I found my breakfast to be quite filling.
"Bringing this back..."
uncomfortable_bliss
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU9CfhdEdgc/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Happy Dad, happy life!
"It actually IS that deep."
ileana.justine
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVxA5_KCPt8/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Creo que sería muy difícil permitírselo.
Without the labor of all the hard-working sugar daddies!
Obduliah Ag
Actually I might have a vegan breakfast.
Wow! The beans and cactus and green salsa cooked in a skillet turned out really amazing.
Black beans and cactus and green sauce
Probably will pair this with one fried egg and a singed tortilla and more salsa that was left over from Taco Tuesday.
Qveen Herby - "Sugar Daddy"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=J3RCss03v1k&si=xl_s3KkcaJUImZw0
Money, roses, cactus leaves, whatever.
This is fake, but...
Oh my gosh, if I had a celery juice and a Greek salad with chicken, I would be allowed six more grams of fat for the entire rest of the day!!!
So I guess several tablespoons of hummus would be allowed?
Time to listen to the body more.
My body knows eating more vegetables and carbs is better than eating more protein. It doesn't mean everything needs to be all vegetable and carbs. It just means we need more balance, and more vegetables is better.
My body knows that not being a thin woman is not the horrible thing the patriarchal rape culture of 21st century modern society wants us to think it is.
Ouch...help...healing frequencies!
"Tuning Fork Sound Healing Vibes | All 9 Solfeggio Frequencies"
soundhealingvibes
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0MzHdxXhUwQ&si=Ed4KPNeEKkRgMSyY
"Using tuning forks on the feral cat ... "
The Cat Nip Lady
But not always. Sometimes they just make daughters who have to work harder!
Predatory dads sometimes make the craziest daughters...
This is much better for the uterus than the inflammatory cookies.
Inside Amy Schumer - "Football Town Nights (ft. Josh Charles)"
For real!!!!
Shoe collections can go on the helicopters with the favored predators instead of children.
I think this looks good for the next transition.
"Tuning Fork Sound Healing Vibes | All 9 Solfeggio Frequencies"
soundhealingvibes
Thanks to Otto and Miep and Bep (Elli)...
Quote by Anne Frank: “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely...”
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/42145-the-best-remedy-for-those-who-are-afraid-lonely-or
Elvis! Just kidding.
Lana Del Rey - "Video Games"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cE6wxDqdOV0&si=Gd6Qr2RUXrQnIXnZ
Elvis Presley - "Heartbreak Hotel (Prince From Another Planet..."
Apparently, apps are really imperfect.
Apparently, a bunch of the food that helped me when I was having gallbladder issues (and also, I actually lost weight when I was eating more of that stuff) is filled with carbs.
I probably should visit this museum someday.
"Charles M. Schultz Museum"
https://www.instagram.com/schulzmuseum?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Maybe they could have us focus on a facial muscles tutorial for this one first?
Kate Bush - "Wuthering Heights - Official Music Video"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-4lXLM34g&si=vWdqvq4XSYOmTTHk
And then eventually, you can work your way up to moving the limbs and build more muscle. And burn more calories.
"Wuthering Heights Dance Tutorial"
fallsproductions8010
But what if some of them are actually cool people though?
"Michigan AG investigating Twin Flames Universe, a cult from Netflix documentary"
Do you think Beck would ever consider switching teams?
I'm talking about this.
You know what I like A LOT better than a Pulitzer Prize winner? A chaste, nostalgic Sunfire Romance for teenage girls, that's what, that's what, that's what!!!
"This is going to date me"
https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/s/FQ9UBxH90a
!!! 💗💗💗
And suddenly, the dress I wore was no longer very important!
Can't I be 19 in the 1990s and asking a VMI guy at a "mixer" why he wasn't into wearing his ancestral kilt again? He was cute, too. I bet he went on to propagate. And vote.
See, that's a past life talking. It could be in the brotherly love category.
"Tall men do not have to go to war, join the CIA or play basketball."
What else do they not have to do, strictly speaking?
What about the ambivalence of love?
"I'm absolutely ambivalent about my remaining eggs. I don't hate them. Other eggs are okay, too. You're the one who cares about your genetic material so much, gosh."
God clearly has a special plan for the orphanages. A lot of parents haven't been clued in on it yet.
"Choose orphanages!" Bumper stickers.
"Oooo it gets dark..."
Maybe I can incorporate more movement in my life when the Sun comes back?
"Wuthering Heights Dance Tutorial"
fallsproductions8010
https://youtube.com/watch?v=H1oehKo2RZI&si=mQ20NC_i3kj7Pb30
"How can you be MORE harsh and critical of The Patriarchy?" It's not a bad question to ask!
"Sarah Ferguson publicly criticized Epstein. In private, she apologized to her ‘supreme friend’" | CNN Politics
https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/12/politics/sarah-ferguson-jeffrey-epstein-files-messages
Nervous systems notice these kinds ofthings, too.
Perfumes made out of essential oils that can help uteruses act like uteruses are good to have.
Frilly aprons sound nice. With "' Guess who's NOT in The Files!" written on them.
Why not? I feel like I don't see enough frilly aprons. Again, I just woke up. I'm going to drink some more water and go back to sleep now.
Period pieces are always good to have in a collection.
Oops, sorry, I fell asleep and I didn't drink enough water.
What about a t-shirt that says "I'm just an averagely sleazy guy, right? That's all!"
That was a ghost attached to my dreams. That was not, you know, a personal attack or anything.
Wednesday, March 11, 2026
Oh, I had fun finding this one when I lived in Virginia 😹.
Makes me kind of miss all the time I spent alone in my Favorite Parks. And I never listened to it in my Favorite Parks. I gotta start having more bonding with Favorite Parks experiences again. That was real medicine!
The Dandy Warhols - "Godless"
I'm not saying these are the right thoughts.
Radiohead - "I Might Be Wrong (Music Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SDUJHpwcaBY&si=6XcbAQLDf6vMj3LC
How come you couldn't choose better husbands and boyfriends to be an influence on your children?
How come you couldn't act like you cared more about your daughters' physical and psychological and reproductive safety?
How come you kept acting like most men and boys were more important than most girls and women?
I have multiple beliefs circulating in my brain, based on a lifetime of experiences.
I believe that men and women who wanted to have kids and couldn't have them should be much more seen and considered and valued by a More Enlightened Society.
And I also believe that adoption should be more valued and people should realize that having your own kids genetically is not proof of you being a better human being.
A lot of people still act that way and it's really s***** and sexist and misogynistic. I honestly think it's kind of just as bad as being racist. Acting like one kind of body is more valuable or important than another kind of body is degrading to the human species.
You could be degrading your own daughters and granddaughters right now with your terribly myopic attitudes. Unfortunately, that's what the patriarchy wants women to do to girls and women.
Some people will also do really awful things in exchange for money or a false sense of security or better health insurance or a house.
People deserve to be more valued and treated well.
Exercise inspo. has not been killed off entirely
My cat is so creepy when she stares at me when she's outside in the dark. If a human being ever stared at me that way, outside, in the dark, I would run and run and run.
And the planned ones too??? Gosh, it's hard for them to win.
"Every Unplanned Pregnancy Is a MAN'S Choice"
yv_edit
People will do so many things to their bodies.
Every time I see a GLP 1 ad I want to chirp: "I'm so happy now! I hope my appendix survives!" But I guess if people have already had their appendix out then maybe it doesn't matter? I don't know; I haven't read all the studies. I just feel very suspicious.
Jesus understands.
Just like they nowadays have different categories of "PCOS," they should also have different categories of "Woman."
"Jesus Is Just Alright (Live)"
The Doobie Brothers
Trust vibes.
Hey, I too had my car broken into and the window smashed and stuff stolen and that was a really different experience.
"Just another casual day in my corporate finance class"
Franci
Even after you paid money for special fertility massages.
And for some reason, sometimes I do kind of wish I could have could have been like one of those hippie moms in Mount Shasta wandering around with her kid in a sling or on her hip in the health food store, or the used bookstore, or the crystal shop. And there's a lot that can go on in someone's life that makes those kinds of things just, like, not happen.
I should have gotten greedier sooner.
Let's make me some money and I can go back to the Ten Thousand Waves Spa in New Mexico. I'm not as young and beautiful as I once was, but I'll hopefully have a much better time.
Credit where credit is due.
"Just another casual day in my corporate finance class"
Franci
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThvKfDkX/
At least he wasn't making jokes about black eyes though!
Lucky him! On to the next project.
"Apple Valley Town Manager Todd Bodem Leaves Position After Short Tenure"
https://www.vvng.com/apple-valley-town-manager-todd-bodem-leaves-position-after-short-tenure/
Pssshaw, fireman fundraiser calendars.
What about a calendar of pensive would-be genius writers in graduate school.
Every month: "Don't; you'll regret it!!!"
Actresses are the best!
"The Corporal" - SNL
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ExMmplQIyO0&si=J7LSbJKRfHxEk9ba
"Colonel Angus Comes Home" - SNL
Me ignoring my macros counting app again.
"Very amazing simple chocolate lava cake recipe"
the_hormone_goddess
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT0mfTYDNht/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Merch thought... Leads to another thought...
I think I saw a dripping paint pour swan shirt that looked kind of good but I don't know if I would order it right now because, well, who knows if it would be in my preferred size? Haha. And now I feel like reading "The Laugh of the Medusa." Or do I just like saying I feel like reading it? Maybe I'll just be an unintellectual person this evening and veg out. And read nothing. Take a break!
Good...
How can someone believe that being cute is everything when there's so much more going on than that???
These are times when growth is possible, and maybe can even be a lot of fun.
Being alone is an opportunity to become better for the next time when you're not alone.
Application. And this is relevant to feminism.
As a matter of fact, I think a couple of special stories were teaching me that maybe when people let some kinds of love get out of control and other forms of love are not as well respected or tended to, that's a recipe for disaster. So maybe it means people are supposed to learn from the old examples and do better. And start paying more attention to a wider variety of experiences.
Anyways, couldn't that be part of what is going on? And the different kinds of love could be interconnected so when you pay more attention to some of them, the ones that were being neglected, it improves the health of the others (The ones that were getting a little bit out of hand, or people were getting too addicted to them).
Moreover, I think when Eros gets out of control, I almost always think the women suffer worse than the men. I'm sure there are exceptions to that rule but honestly, look at our society. Look at the things that are unhealthy and out of balance and wrong with our society right now. What do you think?
I think maybe Eros is a better experience when other forms of love are also being taken better care of, too.
They need attention and it's not a lie.
I wonder if that song came on after tacos in the park because parts of adult people's inner children are just everywhere. (MGMT ~ "Kids").
I'm not really very princessy most of the time, honestly.
I would have been getting a lot more pedicures over the years if I were, and also I kind of do not feel like putting the squares of chocolate into my macros app because, let's face it, that app does not love me!
I'm sure there were other times in my life when I was active and healthier and I didn't have an app like that involved.
I believe some neglect is happening with regard to the types of love humanity is here to experience and cultivate.
"7 Types of Love (And What They Mean)" | Elizabeth Rider
https://www.elizabethrider.com/7-types-of-love-and-what-they-mean/
This is a very good dark chocolate bar by the way. I think it's what the other dark chocolate bars should have tasted like.
"Tried the TJ Single Origin Organic Dark Chocolate with Vanilla Bean"
https://www.reddit.com/r/traderjoes/s/sNHB3igMNZ
I have a feeling that something better could be possible.
Sometimes I get very troubled because I feel like I have a complicated task and I want to be a better communicator and I suppose people can just forget about some stories and heal that way I suppose. But is that really the best way to go about handling things???
I wish I'd created more stuff when I was younger.
Do people who make music have their younger music days and their older music days?
Or maybe their younger music hours and their older music hours?
You might need to dunk your feet in warm green jelly.
The aloe jelly foot bath! I swear, some kids would love it.
And picked polish that accidentally matched the aloe jelly...pretty good experience, after a 16 year hiatus from pedicures.
It was also kind of fun to observe the princessy people. 👸🏽👣😹💅🏽 I wish I felt I could do this when I had jobs where I was on my feet all day.
Well, wabi sabi.
Well, all things exist on a spectrum, but some 21st Century guys certainly can't blame me too much if their next lifetime is more complicated because the Patriarchical Society was so imbalanced and there were acquaintances who made too many excuses for unwell behavior patterns.
Tweak and refine and make things more fun? 😸
"Why The 1970s Produced The Last 'Free' Human Minds"
SoftThesis
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Y7Yg_1tch5c&si=wncXizjM8wj1Oy1W
"POV: you just got triple sat #reels #youtubeshorts"
briannaleetv
Am tempted to get my nails done???
I've never seen this. It's fascinating...
"got into a bubble bath that was too hot and my fingernails made a gradient"
"That was some really good production quality."
"JANE AUSTEN'S PERIOD DRAMA / 2026 Oscar®-Nominated"
JuliaAks
Grrrrlz...🎶
"Gorillaz will never end: 'We’ll pass it on to the next generation'"
Tori Amos - "Precious Things - PBS Soundstage - Live in Chicago 2003"
Moreover...
Clearly believing in a Cosmic Mother is gonna be highly problematic, and not always for the usual suspects, either. Shhhh...
I just got a little distracted for a second.
She told a joke about coaches!
"I Wanna Be a Dad | Elle Orlando | Stand Up Comedy"
Now enjoying comical, musical content contemplative chums have shared...
"JANE AUSTEN'S PERIOD DRAMA / 2026 Oscar®-Nominated"
JuliaAks
https://youtube.com/watch?v=dxpjzOLVRR0&si=wbndB2zSLDBb3nFm
"Why The 1970s Produced The Last 'Free' Human Minds"
SoftThesis
The universe makes me contemplate parenthood sometimes.
If I ever have kids, I believe they will know what I am like before they get born or come to live with me.
It could be a personal problem, I suppose.
The way The Patriarchy trains some shallow parents to make excuses for predators really gets to me.
You're not doing predators a favor by making excuses for them. You're most definitely not doing other women's children a favor either.
You're setting things up so that other predators will continue in the footsteps of the previous predator. How hard is it to understand that? Apparently it's super hard to understand for a lot of people.
Even in this year, with the Epstein files coming out, and lots of people being dramatically influenced by that, the old ways of surviving the patriarchal society are still hard to discard.
I'm very disappointed in some people's choices. I would have thought this would be a great opportunity for them to release and stop continuing / repeating old patterns, and I really hope they are the last of a dying out breed of mediocrity.
Which means I hope their children and grandchildren make some very different choices than the ones that they've made.
I have multiple layers of reasons to have this point of view. It's not going to just magically go away.
Tuesday, March 10, 2026
The universe can be very creative...
Sometimes people can get very open to experiencing some cheeky things. After we tried a shirodhara session we were so relaxed that we had some very funny conversations with people in a health food store and split a falafel wrap in the car. Then we were not sure where a trash can was so sister went into a Wendy's to throw the stuff away and some guy told her she looked like an obscure actress and we tried to look this person up and it seemed like she was from Grand Rapids.
Universe / uterus alignment
What if my universe gets mad at me if I act like a wimp? And then my uterus acts like a stupid bully. Is that the Patriarchal Society or is that the feminine life force, or what. I don't know, really. I don't feel like thinking about these things anymore.
The phone can go on bed rest now.
I literally just looked up "Brother Mercury" and somebody who is an entertainer goes by that name. I don't know anything about him
I think I'm just going to go look at blah blah blah blah blah grass blades and clouds with my cat.
The truth is, is practicality is very important.
I really like that Mercury Retrograde is so artistic.
It's like what we have here is an artistic personality with journalistic interests and a journalistic personality with artistic interests.
A lot about life is not very romantic. Romance is kind of like a little extra thing that comes with the rest of life, like a dessert.
Maybe?
Anyways, there's been talk of trying to find more artistic communities. There's been talk about musical things. There's been talk about various kinds of lifestyles.
I've talked about my memories or stories.
I just seem to live with somebody who's pretty accepting of a lot of things in theory. Lots of things are acceptable in theory when you don't put them into practice.
What if what if this happened one day? Well I would be open to it. What if this happened one day? Well I would be open to it
What if theoretical what ifs happened, like, next Monday???
😂
I have to commune with my spiritual midwives.
Maybe I'm going to get more into astrology because I've never been a bigger fan of Mercury Retrograde.
Mercury Retrograde is very artistic I think.
Mercury Retrograde is my brother.
The world's still quite abundant with carbs, apparently.
But surely you can prefer to use which kefir because it is less inflammatory? A2
Just surprised that there's still so many carbs in protein rich foods...
Maybe I can give rewards, too.
I just think my uterus is being so nice to me today. And I'm very grateful. So why not give it some more encouragement?
I really think being a mom is the best thing about you.
Not being an open-minded mom. Not being a mom who thinks about reproductive rights for other girls and women. Not being a mom who's cognizant that her daughters or granddaughters might have a different body than her. Not being a mom who is, you know, concerned about other girls and women and feminism and crap like that, that the patriarchy would totally give you s*** about.
Just doing that basic physical labor that the patriarchy wants you to do and disregarding the rest?
That is what you excel at!
As a matter of fact, I'm grateful.
My life is improved when people who have given birth to children prove to me that they're really just cranky little kids. I don't know why; it's so hard to be elevated sometimes. Why is it this way? Why?
I guess I wonder if I have to cultivate the attention of a super small focus group until I I get a little more healed.
Cranky uterus. Cranky uterus always wants her way, doesn't she. Cranky cranky cranky!
Anyways, the lady that rides the lawn mower is cutting the grass in the backyard now.
And yet, the memory of yesterday still lives on...
Hello, cats!
Glad to see you're peacefully coexisting over there.
This looks really upbeat!
I could learn some stuff here.
"I Tried Riding A Penny Farthing (And It Taught Me About Feminism)"
JDraper
Oh! Surgery reminded me to listen to and watch their second song, too.
"Gorillaz Climb the Mountain to Make Their Long-Awaited SNL Debut: Watch"
https://consequence.net/2026/03/gorillaz-snl-performance/
Slouch stomp slouch stomp.
So many men! So tasteful and reserved, compared to Epstein, himself.
"Epstein paid for a conference of top scientists in 2006. His motives are now clear" : NPR
https://www.npr.org/2026/03/09/nx-s1-5721150/epstein-scientists-physics-virgin-islands-conference
"I am not here, however, just to roast Richard Feynman—the problem of unchecked misogyny in the sciences goes far beyond the conduct of a solitary bad actor. Predatory male scientists abound in such numbers that it would be a Sisyphean task to devote a series of essays to describing their abuses in painful detail; even as this article was heading off to press, pop astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women. In addition to cataloguing the trespasses of individual scientists who abuse the cultural power of their position, we have to dismantle the structures that have allowed their abuses to continue with little to no disruption."
"Surely You’re a Creep, Mr. Feynman | Leila McNeill"
https://thebaffler.com/outbursts/surely-youre-a-creep-mr-feynman-mcneill
I think I feel influences.
I had such a rewarding and intensely personal experience when I went to my teacher's memorial service last year because when I saw all these pictures of her from the '70s and '80s, it was like I was reliving an alternative version of all these things I experienced in those years too, but on the opposite Coast.
"Neighbor of the Week: Erin Snyder"
https://www.raincrossgazette.com/neighbor-of-the-week-erin-snyder/
Almost felt like I grew up around her, too.
This song was on the radio yesterday and it got in my head.
So I feel like I'm going to watch the music video for the first time now.
Martika - "Toy Soldiers"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LvdLovAaYzM&si=r8vJ9H9LuC6ho_JR
It makes me think of friends from New York visiting Michigan in the summer and listening to a mix tape, and people making fun of this song and of "Patience" by Axl Rose (But why was it recorded and put on the tape? And haha I don't even remember any of the other songs that were on the tape. These are people's nostalgic 80s songs now, but they were very new once upon a time.)
It makes me think of hearing young people splashing around in a motel pool, by which I mean they were probably teenagers dating / boyfriend and girlfriend. And a mom saying, "oh they're young," and how she was young once and would have been doing the same thing.
It also makes me think that sometimes when adults are acting childishly, maybe they just need to be nurtured. Maybe their inner children are just asking for some attention and they need to listen better to their childish sides.
And it makes me think of the 2010s when I was in a modern dance class at a community college and we were put in a small groups and did some improv dance routines for fun. A guy complimented my group by saying, "I like that; looks like a soldier girl."
The song was still going around in my head this morning, so I had to look it up.
And then I found this!
"Like Toy Soldiers"
Eminem
Monday, March 09, 2026
Also quite timely! 😂 (IMO anyway.)
"Bicycle face: the terrifying medical condition that threatened 1890s cyclists" | The Spinoff
There's no time to wait to get rich enough.
"KETAMINE"
ultimabituca
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HfiDxpCLzSs&si=VqOV16QOqUpzeFRd
Some people (so many more than we know) are instead working on optimizing their learning experiences...
"Looking into ketamine"
D! Chill.
"Dysmenorrhea: What It Is and How to Deal With It | OBGYN"
https://coolspringsobgyn.com/dysmenorrhea-how-to-deal-with-it/#
Ghost Guardians of the Uterus being cheesy.
"xkcd: Plums"
https://share.google/VPJNr426EaXZBXaha
Elderberries.
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail - The Insulting Frenchman"
Reading about somebody else's magnum opus over my oatmeal.
"The haunting story of Mary Doefour and one man's quest to give her back her real name"
"Former Morton nursing home is torn down: ‘I hear the neighbors are very happy that it’s gone’" | WCBU Peoria
Womb-like and wonderful.
Kawehi - "Somebody That I Used To Know Mashup (live at The Pike Room on 7.11.15)"
Ronald Mark
This morning, I hope she's running off to a really great and beneficial body balancing appointment!
Charli xcx - "House featuring John Cale (Official Video)"
Oh, here's an idea.💡 And something else interesting to watch.
"A Lot of Women THINK They’ve Decentered Men…"
@yv_edit
https://youtube.com/watch?v=izsoGDhCB2Q&si=xWLluzpvxnBJQoNy
"Maybe you can work with the assholes when your uterus stops cramping. Maybe, after you either get a hysterectomy or fully go through menopause, you can work with them as an uncredited addictions counselor. Okay. Well, we'll see how many years that takes, I guess. Boy oh boy, doesn't that sound great? I mean as long as some other health problems don't crop up, I suppose that might work out? I don't know. I don't really think that this is an ideal situation for her health. Yeah, let's not count on that."
How to honor and respect your own genetics and experiences.
How to be much kinder to yourself because your genetics are not like theirs. And therefore, your experiences are also not like theirs.
A humble body needs help with releasing attachment to the unhealed, anxious patriarchal culture.
Help yourself heal your uterus and let things go... Hasn't the body felt enough pain and suffering already? Yes, it's been enough. Why should it go on if a better experience is available, somewhere, somehow?
For some situations, I might...
Need music that helps me embrace healing myself and release the need to heal with other people, maybe? I know this is sad because it's happier to heal with other people, but sometimes other people are determined to keep acting like assholes. They choose their addictions and not you. Their addictions are not compatible with your health issues. Maybe you just need to just let it go, and focus on healing yourself, and let them just be the assholes they feel like being. But elsewhere?
I really want to get sleepier now.
I need some sleep. But sometimes I feel like there's some "more successful" people who see "potential" in me but who still feel they have to do things their way, and if my body keeps saying no to the idea of working with them, I have to listen to my body. I mean, why is it so hard for them to change? Why do they feel others have to accommodate them? Well, maybe it's a fear of ego death thing. Sometimes I think these people are also influenced by group dynamics and their group doesn't want them to change because things have been going along in a certain way and if it seems like it worked out pretty well for them and got them lots of money in a big house and if they were comfortable with all that, then why should they change?
Maybe they don't have a lot of empathy for others and they prefer it that way. It's easier for them to live life that way.
Just some thoughts I guess.
I wonder if I'll have any other sea or deep water dreams?
"Diving into the Wreck" by Adrienne Rich
https://www.reddit.com/r/Poetry/s/kixeHE9Ccn
I think women who felt traumatized by people who've also been traumatized by the patriarchy but are acting it out in a different way can get some very isolated feelings. Well, maybe there's other people who are better at feeling really empowered by bravely exploring the difficult stuff, but I do feel you have to be willing to go on your own to take a certain path sometimes, and I don't think I'm totally alone in feeling this. That's partly why I think a poem like 'Diving into the Wreck" exists.
I'm enjoying my magnesium capsules' effects on me!
Plus a Kate Bush music video.
"Kate Bush’s Earliest Smash Climbs To A New Peak, Decades After It's Release"
Kate Bush - "Wuthering Heights - Official Music Video"
Just to make them nicer. More well-rounded people.
I think some of the not-so-sensitive people should have those electrodes hooked up to them, the ones that they've started putting on some men in videos to show them what bad menstrual cramps feel like.
Can't really wait for others to do this.
Going to really get better at seeing the positive aspects of having so much sensitivity to pain that it literally affects my physical experience. So attention grabbing and distracting from whatever other nonsense is happening.
Sunday, March 08, 2026
Belief systems can be good and more healing for our temporary lives.
Decided I believe that some things are divinely guided and when the people in their little corner of the planet work out some things, it generates more energetic healing into the universe and benefits others on an energetic level too.
Also fun...Alas, a paywall.
"In some ways, that Fennell’s Wuthering Heights is this vacuous and one-dimensional feels like progress. Male directors get to make big, unserious epics all the time. ('How many times have you watched Top Gun: Maverick?' I asked my husband last night. 'This month?' he replied.) Fennell, whose film made $83 million at the global box office during opening weekend, is at least proving, with sticky aplomb, how starved we as a culture are for romance. Margot Robbie, the movie’s co-star and one of its producers, has shrugged off mixed reviews..."
~ Sophie Gilbert
"Why the 'Wuthering Heights' Movie Is Infantilizing"
Lol. 😹
"Literary Hub » Emerald Fennell’s Wuthering Heights is a Deranged, Half-Assed Bodice-Ripper That Entirely Misses the Point'
"By the time Catherine kicked her father’s corpse and ran out into the rain again (in the movie, you’re either bejeweled, bedrenched, or be-both) with Heathcliff in tow, I thought, If they don’t fuck now, I will demand a refund. I had to wait another beat before their lackluster Gothic coitus montage."
~ Emily Van Duyne
"As Cathy started dying in earnest, the gallon drum of club soda I had consumed over the course of two hours had filled my bladder to the point of agony ('our drinks are one size'). I panicked, not wanting to miss one minute of this spectacle, still clinging to the possibility that there would be some trace semblance of Emily Brontë in this Wuthering Heights, that we might meet the next generation of Earnshaws and Lintons. Once more, I needn’t have worried. Cathy bled out onto her Princess Peach sheets, Heathcliff wept over her corpse, and the credits rolled to another Charli XCX banger.
I left my husband to gather our things for dinner and scooted to the loo, where I was faced with a David Lynch-like scene far stranger than Fennell’s moors. A woman in one stall loudly begged a drunken stranger (who was dressed to the nines for her Valentine’s Day date) for toilet paper, her disembodied hand wiggling beneath the hanging door, as the drunken stranger opened a stall and rolled a giant pile of tee-pee around her diamond-studded hand, screeching 'CAN YOU SPARE A SQUARE, REMEMBER, CAN YOU SPARE A SQUARE' to me, the only other person in the room old enough to catch that Seinfeld reference. Two young women in Taylor Swift hoodies who had been in the theater with us were weeping over the ending, saying, Why? Why? What was the point? They weren’t talking to me, and god, I was glad, since I had no answer for them."
~ Emily Van Duyne
I decided to have dessert.
I had some date syrup swirled in a goblet filled with a chocolate protein smoothie and I'm reading a bunch of reviews about the controversial "Wuthering Heights" film. They said it's made Emerald Fennell a lot of money. I am just guessing I probably would not like it as much as I liked "Promising Young Woman," but it's kind of a fantastic opportunity for people to express their opinions, huh?
Oh, what a musical city...🌁🎶🌃
Encore un 🎶 digestif (for me this evening.)
Charli xcx - "House featuring John Cale (Official Video)"
I ate dinner and enjoyed a wonderful soup and salad.
Must figure out ways to tap into the kind of love that is the glue when there's so many different points of view.
I'm changing my eating.
I'm eating to soothe the screaming.
I'm eating to balance the body.
I guess I really have to change my diet a lot more than I thought.
Actually my cat just ate some food for the first time today, so that's nice too. She wouldn't even eat the squeezable treat stuff, but just now she's started eating dry food. Who knows why it was like that today. Who knows why.
And it's very sad and painful and not conducive to good health.
For some reason my cat's not eating today. I don't feel very well. I don't have a nice experience with my gallbladder right now. I have off and on menstrual cramps and I wasn't having those for a while. But now they're back. I'm going to have to change some more things with how I'm eating probably. Probably need energy healings and things like that more than I need anything else right now.
Honestly, I think that stuff like this revibrates psychically when the selfish people try to cover it up.
"Survivor Story: Tammy Wallace..."
jaguarwright
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFyTyAyRolS/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"our bodies are really f u c k i n g tired of generations of performance"
sarahswildhoney
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVmbIxKjfeg/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
So today I found this.
"Serious allegations have been raised and for years voices were ignored"
tammywallace_3355
https://www.instagram.com/p/DVamjv2gENM/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"When survivor supports survivors healing multiplies."
tammywallace_3355
https://www.instagram.com/p/DVNC_NQEZgK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Here is the man who assaulted me..."
tammywallace_3355
https://www.instagram.com/p/DTlRB1pEodk/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
As a chauvinistic, sexist, traumatized Patriarchal Society goes through more changes...
Maybe you will find yourself moved.
And I as well.
"I'm so glad my grandma didn't want me to grow up to be the kind of guy who had to beat down girls and women in order to get whatever he wanted."
I think it would be really nice for the Future Generations if that were to happen.
I think you should get more articulate about why it's been so hard for you, personally, to value the health and safety of most women and girls. In our current society, most of them don't have as much money as you have. You could start with that. That's just scratching the surface, but you could start with it. Maybe you could do mourning pages about it.
"Mt. SAC women’s basketball coach Brian Crichlow wins Coach of the Year for a third year" – SAC Media
"Mt. SAC coach accused of sexual abuse to remain employed, school says" – SAC Media
https://sac.media/2023/02/10/mt-sac-coach-accused-of-sexual-abuse-to-remain-employed-school-says/
"Investigating Lawsuits Against Mt. SAC" – SAC Media
https://sac.media/2022/07/27/investigating-lawsuits-against-mt-sac/
"2023 Mt SAC Alumnus of the Year Sona Movsesian"
I think you could pair a book by a pimp with a book by a Holocaust survivor.
"Whatever you think this film is about..."
bronxzou
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVjsRfQj_I-/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"House of Dolls" - Wikipedia
Jeffrey no longer needs the physical sustenance provided by our hard-working labourers on this earthly plane.
But Michelle? Conan? Sona? Skyler? Elon? Brian?
They still need physical sustenance!
Disappointed in the Patriarchal Culture, Too.
Michelle and Conan and Sona and Skyler and Elon and Jeffrey and Brian!
But just showing it in really different ways. I sort of feel like Jeffrey's still showing it, even though he's dead. I think his spirit is, like, hovering around and crap.
They're just so special to The Patriarchy!
Isn't it interesting it is expected that they should be the ones who are embarrassed by the actions of some shallow, callous, misogynistic, financially better off people?
I don't know if it's the fault of their fathers, their bosses or what.
I really do wonder if the Patriarchal people subconsciously believe that girls and women just have to get sacrificed to predators so they can have their careers.
I felt rather glad I watched this. It gave me new things to think about.
"Weirdos are where the wisdom comes from 🌱"
fatandthemoon
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVMKa3oD_jN/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Combining two products that I have on hand has been a helpful stand-in recently...
But I decided I'm going to get the Sage & Rose Face Mist I really like again from their company.
Embracing frivolity?
X: Wow! Just because a man can make an insecure woman act like a fashion magazine is more important than a human being doesn't mean the man can't also die and reincarnate into something quite different.
Y: I wanna reincarnate as an elephant.
Some people have a way of reminding you that Jeffrey Epstein was probably brimming with good vibes.
"'Good vibes only' sounds harmless. It isn't."
Kat | The Unpackologist TM
House addicts could be worse to girls than irresponsible alcoholics sometimes.
Hard, horrible upbringings and chauvinistic churches and misogynistic meanies who put abusive men on pedestals were so great at showing us how terrible this disgusting this Patriarchal Society is to girls and women and now my uterus is not well again.
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