Oh my gosh, I guess Jesus just loved the "others" and wanted to heal the sick too much for some people. Oops, that must have been some of the religious programming that got drummed into me at an incredibly young age coming out.
Saturday, April 04, 2026
Just something else to complain about, on this journey of growing as a human being in a patriarchal society.
It must be difficult to struggle with the addiction to needing validation so badly. And also a bunch of emotionally mutilated people who couldn't bring themselves to be articulate about being sorry that abuse happened in the family are also totally the kind that are going to fawn over the talented and favored by the patriarchy celebrities aren't they? Yeah, I think so. They just want a shortcut and they just want to feel good and they don't want to grow up.
Don't be like the artistic version of Patton.
Like maybe your grandkids will be more sensitive to the existence of other kinds of people and what they are going through but you don't have to be so overly patriarchal in your execution of your talents.
When it comes to the point the point where I feel like I have to start chewing on my fingers again and clothes again, that's not a good sign.
Quit repeating the habits that are harmful just because that's exactly what patriarchal culture wants you to do.
Is quieter charming? Well, I guess that depends on the point of view.
"After the Minnesota surge, ICE is moving to a quieter enforcement approach : NPR"
https://www.npr.org/2026/04/04/nx-s1-5768273/after-minnesota-ice-surge-shift-to-quieter-enforcement
Okay, I'm going to go out and eat Mexican food.
Do you really want to be in a movie called "How you can tell that the shallow, selfish white people want everyone who's not like them to just die, and they're also training their children to act like that's a totally normal way to live life, too."
Actually it might be Mexican / Lebanese fusion. Which is sort of like Mediterranean and Mexican fusion.
A natural high, though.
Make good use of the energy and do some calisthenics?
This is the brain on getting nostalgic about moments of youthful exuberance in other regions of the country.
Bruce Springsteen - "Glory Days (Official Video)"
Never mind. I actually had to look at this instead.
"Wind driven brush fire spreading over 4,100 acres..."
https://ktla.com/news/inland-empire/firefighters-battling-brush-fire-in-moreno-valley/
ADD! SO freeing.
I'm not sure if I can complete my Easter Sale shopping transaction because now I'm looking up pools on Swimply.
If I were there again, I hope I would force my exhausted body upstairs and swim in that pool!
"Anyone else love swimming pools?"
helloterumi
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBKPr0GxSnu/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"The 14th story pool in the InterContinental Chicago"
The only place I ever tried caviar still has caviar.
High Tea in Chicago | Russian Tea Time – Chicago, IL
https://www.russianteatime.com/
It was a different price in the 2000s. That was good for the people who paid for it.
"Zukerman and Perlman display their reliable excellence" – Chicago Tribune
https://www.chicagotribune.com/2006/05/05/zukerman-and-perlman-display-their-reliable-excellence/
I guess it's time to take an opportunity to cultivate an abundance mindset.
Lots of beautiful dark eyes on the BloomChic website. And there's an Easter sale going on.
Ivan Rebroff - "Les yeux noirs (Otschi Kornia)"
https://youtu.be/6JPUJFP_-EE?si=GeOWW4uucBZH_Z2v
Size 10 people can shop there, too!
People need to talk about isolation.
Isn't it isolating being a creative genius? Want to talk about that? No? Okay. Well, I guess I'm going to do some shopping! Probably get some tax money back.
Do people need to talk about death.
Cat normally leaves the things outside alone and is slow and well fed but lately she's become a Mighty Hunter and it's kind of horrifying. Maybe it's time to build a catio?
I feel happily and pleasantly educated.
Because I had an educational massage therapy session. And the reason why it was educational was the therapist was working with spots that are of connected with the piriformis muscle and they were tight and painful. But she said
"On a scale of one to five, I want it to be a three."
😊
And then, when it was a three, she would press into it and she would stretch my leg and she would say: "Breathe. Don't forget to breathe."
It really helped!
Also, lying on a heated table and getting some icy hot lotion applied on the back at the end of the session was good.
Someone should make a movie out of this book. Or this kind of a story.
"Retro Friday Review: Goodbye Pink Pig by C.S. Adler"
http://www.angie-ville.com/2010/11/retro-friday-review-goodbye-pink-pig-by.html?m=1
Angels! Angels.
Some have dressed themselves as the wraggle taggle gypsies in this life, but who knows better...
"The Raggle Taggle Gypsy" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raggle_Taggle_Gypsy
Liked this elementary school musical propaganda! It was very fun to sing.
Sometimes shopping for clothes on a Saturday takes a turn...
Sara Bareilles - "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Live from Atlanta)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ozd2ja7mAgM&si=VHuFW7eGJO7KZDCQ
That's a nice dress, but now I also have to get at least three different kinds of comfortable but intriguingly textured blouses which I will probably wear a lot more often...
Sufjan Stevens x Kylie Minogue - "Can't Get Video Games Out of My Head [MASHUP]"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=aT-IDHPYSQ8&si=8_4BcNBHo4pvnfFB
That was entertaining. 🐦⬛
I heard a meow and a striped cat was outside the door and my cat was inside hiding from it instead of trying to fight it and then the outside cat ran away and climbed on top of the fence and then a black bird swooped down really close to the cat on the fence and it jumped away.
That's nice for my nervous system.
Actually, I'm thinking about happy dogs running around people's legs.
Tambien (Weird, it rhymes with Ambien, which I'm not going to take, and I don't have.)
"Happy Books and a Sad Life—Lucy Maud Montgomery"
https://teacupsandtyrants.com/2021/11/28/happy-books-and-a-sad-life-lucy-maud-montgomery/
Pobrecita escritora.
"Violette Leduc: the great French feminist writer we need to remember" | Books | The Guardian
Must respect the nervous system more again now.
I will be (need to be) better at letting my body know that it deserves a very chill and calm day.
I got an idea! I think it's a good one because it made me look up pictures that amuse me.
Why don't the troubadours write some songs about their feet now?
Creative Project Man.
Creative projects, man.
JOHNNY RIVERS - "Secret Agent Man 1966"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4&si=4vlIMBkNMxcPrf0l
🎶🎸🎶🎺🎶🪕🎶
You know what you can do with your life when you get more 💸 in it?
🐬You can lose more weight from certain parts of your body and not the other parts! 🙀 Katy Keene reminded me; it's not my fault.💃🏻
"Katy Keene Comics Vol. 1 (1949-1961) : MLJ/Archie Comics : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive"
Ēostre is almost here.
It will be interesting to see what Ēostre is like this year.🌷🌸🌹🌺🌻🌼🪷❇️
"Ēostre" - Wikipedia
Kinda feel like regressing...
Kind of already miss being more stuck in a state of terror, like I was not so long ago. I think that's actually not as uncommon of an experience as people might pretend it is...
I used to look at the 1980s versions of these on summer vacations...Wow! So much free access to stories with the internet.
"Katy Keene Comics Vol. 1 (1949-1961) : MLJ/Archie Comics : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive"
Anyways, I guess things are going okay.
Some people just signed up to have a stranger journey on a path to intimacy than others.
This character. LOL!
This character does not act like Violet the Duke! I think this character is like, what could happen if Violet the Duke didn't have an abortion. Especially if she had unprotected sex with a favored male writer she'd been fawning over.
"New Girlfriend" - SNL
I guess he served his purpose.
If Simone de Beauvoir's father's behavior resulted in her being more thoughtful, more introspective, and more helpful when it came to handling the difficult personality of a bastard child like Violette LeDuc.
I'll just talk to my cat about what your parents did.
Next time the whole,"But it's so hard to be good to certain kinds of people" issue flares up again.
Actually we really do have to take better care...
My body's gotten very sensitive and my health in jeopardy again. Sigh. I hope tea helps. Maybe sometimes it's better just to calm things down instead of try to raise the issues.
Probably time to whine some more soon.
Hopefully, the wine of our friendship will just keep building and building!
Oh, the universe is so good!
"Being more thirsty is more sexy! And now you're stuck in a place for a good reason. I wonder what that could be?"
Time to build very new rituals.
"You are a very bad friend to a lot of kinds of girls and women when you get put in certain situations." "But we can probably blame The Patriarchy." " It's been traumatizing." " "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it."
Doggedly ignorant of the disenfranchised...
Don't really know if they really are all that blessed. Especially when they're very clearly needing so much attention, and they act so utterly uninterested in knowing more about others that it seems they must be scared to know too much, for some reason?
Friday, April 03, 2026
Let that be a lesson...
It's kind of weird that people keep telling me that I seem like I'm doing better and I look healthier when I currently weigh more than I've ever weighed in my entire life. Perhaps health is more nuanced and complicated than we've been led to believe. I think it could be so.
How I feel about looking at dresses...
"I know, but I'm bored now,so it looks like I probably will." - Derry Girls | Clip.Cafe
Mourning is a part of life even if you think people can come back and do things better.
I had to put a wounded or dead bird on the other side of the wall and it made me think about humans being very fragile and then the mourning feelings came back and then I went to the park to visit the flowers.
It's quite tragic that this still happens so often.
Also, the freeze out response is not exactly impressive, either.
"When women disclose abuse..."
drjesstaylor
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWoADMSK5MM/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Nature's nice sometimes.
"The art of sunbathing and birdwatching"
heyitsbanesa
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWCqYwgDpCP/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Maybe I'll be able to get better acquainted with etymology this weekend!
I love etymology!
"Ēostre" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre
Name
Etymology
The theonym has been reconstructed as *Ēastre (Old English), *Ôstara (Old High German) and *Āsteron (Old Saxon).[4][5] These are cognates – linguistic siblings stemming from a common origin. They derive from the Proto-Germanic theonym Austrō(n),[4][5] itself a descendant of Proto-Indo-European (PIE) *h₂ews-reh₂ (cf. Lithuanian auš(t)rà, 'dawn, daybreak'), extended from the PIE root *h₂ews-, meaning 'to shine, glow (red)'.[6][5] The modern English east also derives from this root, via the Proto-Germanic adverb *aust(e)raz ('east, eastwards'), from an earlier PIE *h₂ews-tero- ('east, towards the dawn').[5]
According to linguist Guus Kroonen, the Germanic and Baltic languages replaced the old formation *h₂éws-os, the name of the PIE dawn-goddess, with a form in *-reh₂-, likewise found in the Lithuanian deity Aušrinė.[5] In Anglo-Saxon England, her springtime festival gave its name to a month (Northumbrian: Ēosturmōnaþ, West Saxon: Eastermonað),[7] the rough equivalent of April, then to the Christian feast of Easter that eventually displaced it.[4][8] In southern Medieval Germany, the festival Ôstarûn similarly gave its name to the month Ôstarmânôth, and to the modern feast of Ostern ('Easter'), suggesting that a goddess named *Ôstara was also worshipped there.[9][8] The name of the month survived into 18th-century German as Ostermonat.[10] An Old Saxon equivalent of the spring goddess named *Āsteron may also be reconstructed from the term asteronhus, which is translated by most scholars as 'Easter-house', which would parallel the Medieval Flemish Paeshuys ('Easter-house').[11] Frankish historian Einhard also writes in his Vita Karoli Magni (early 9th century CE) that after Charlemagne defeated and converted the continental Saxons to Christianity, he gave Germanic names to the Latin months of the year, which included the Easter-month Ostarmanoth.[12]
The Old English Ēostre is therefore a distant cognate of numerous other dawn goddesses attested among Indo-European-speaking peoples, including Uṣás, Ēṓs, and Aurōra. In the words of the Encyclopedia of Indo-European Culture, "a Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn is supported both by the evidence of cognate names and the similarity of mythic representation of the dawn goddess among various Indo-European groups. [...] All of this evidence permits us to posit a Proto-Indo-European *haéusōs 'goddess of dawn' who was characterized as a 'reluctant' bringer of light for which she is punished. In three of the Indo-European stocks, Baltic, Greek and Indo-Iranian, the existence of a Proto-Indo-European 'goddess of the dawn' is given additional linguistic support in that she is designated the 'daughter of heaven'."[13]
O tea he he!
"Mother is a straight shooter"
dilpreettagger
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUXsnkNkihh/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
This, too, seems more feminist.
"Studies from 2016 onwards..."
drjesstaylor
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWqxTWBKAq7/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Stuff like this makes me feel like Society is getting more feminist in spite of who the hell is running this country.
"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"
therealmanifestelle
There's an article to read, too!
"The Queer Gaze"| Substack
https://thequeergaze.substack.com/
"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"
therealmanifestelle
And I still need to catch up on the other ones she posted recently!
Being good when being bad is rewarded?
"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"
therealmanifestelle
Mind the cortisol though.
"Forced gratitude elevates cortisol"
kyleinspires1
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWmcAFejjfE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
This is very creative!
"Had a coffee with myself at 16..."
adam.floatinghome
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWqlkVijLuv/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Okay, and just one more thing...
I feel like audiences at ballet performances are filled with people with dashed dreams and eating disorders and they will be using the toilets. So I hope there's not any sexist long lines at the restrooms, but there will be. Okay, so this can be funny!
Hi bird, you're on a wire!
That's a bird who's never had to worry about PCOS or its psychological ramifications in a patriarchal culture or any of the various cosmetic remedies, which are never covered by insurance! Even if you have the good insurance which doesn't have the huge deductible.
Oh and I also want prescription sunglasses. Because I don't want to get Lasik.
"The only thing we should be moulding is..."
tetyanawrites
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWq3bU1AMgK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
X: Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten prescription sunglasses?
Y: What if you wait two months and then get prescription sunglasses?
X: I have not gotten prescription sunglasses for more than a decade. I don't even remember when I got them. I might have gotten them when I lived in Illinois. I don't even remember.
~~~~~~
Also, I am not happy with the way the gum feels on one of the teeth which looks too big to me now and I wonder if it's affecting the gum.
So many problems come with living in human bodies!!!!!
Maybe moving around a lot made me easier to amuse?
My interest / other writer's interest (which I also find interesting.)
"Sheila Campaign"
pitchfork
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UH7dreFAiBQ&si=uqUPIRWSqMg6r5oz
"Seems unbeleivable until..."
u/LowNo175
My cat is bothering my phone again; I wonder why?
"🔥Desire gets a bad rap and I wonder why?"
yumisakugawa
https://www.instagram.com/p/DWj5wKzEmrg/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Thursday, April 02, 2026
I felt like talking about something else.
Death! I find it really weird that the Universe did its best to convince me I was this other person and when I was a young adult I even tried to contact the a couple people that this other person knew when he was alive and it was a total disaster. Either it just fell apart or it or the letter got rejected and sent back. And I didn't and I only said I was interested in his stories. So if somebody who died comes back and tries to send you a letter, you're probably going to reject them, huh.
I have to sing for the cat.
"Some cat you are, to continuously beg..."
(She does. She's a very food-oriented creature. And yet she's also picky and doesn't want to eat pate or certain kinds of wet foods. I didn't really know what a finicky cat was before I had her. My other cats were certainly not so choosy!)
Tori Amos - "Never Seen Blue Lyrics & Meanings" | SongMeanings
Did you like this one? 🎶
Tori Amos - "i i e e e (Live Sessions 1998) + Lyrics"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=41OgbLr86DY&si=CyzTDihrbVfmELEU
Yes.
And this one?
Tori Amos - "Jackie's Strength"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=C7WET8khBc4&si=jHaLsIwtZAlmEieI
Also yes.
And this one?
Skating Polly - "Camelot (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FbFoX8SvaKI&si=lsnaCCD9cBbLlyPV
Yes again!
Because some of society is advancing when it comes to acknowledging things...
Pointing out the kind of music that makes me think that some people who have survived certain kinds of trauma have had to go deeper inside of themselves in order to process their trauma.
"Never Seen Blue" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtu.be/8WB_V2puco8?si=vqynVLor5TDXHUmT
This song bothered me when I first heard it because it made me feel like I was missing out on something during a period of my life when I felt I needed to be very insular and didn't even try to have a relationship with anyone for years and years.
One way that romance was impressed on a small child's brain.
I remember when I was a child, and I was on a train with my mother traveling somewhere, and maybe she was busy paying attention to my little sister, I don't remember, but there was a teenage girl, a young woman who was sitting next to me, and she was on the train because she was running away from her mother and she was going to go live with her boyfriend who really loved her. I was just a child (perhaps I was eight?) but I was a good listener. So I was considered mature for my age and the teenage girl needed someone to listen to her and what she was going through and it was fascinating. And my mother just let that happen. I was the one listening to her, not my mother. I don't really know if my mother believed in it or cared much about what the teenage girl was telling me, but she didn't stop it from happening. The funny thing is that my mother didn't get along with her own mother, so it would seem like maybe she could have listened to the teenage girl's story, but it just didn't happen that way, in my memory. I was the one who was the listener. It was not censored. Maybe my mother was taking a nap or something! As a matter of fact, I think I might have tried to talk to my mother about it later, and she might have scoffed at the story. I'm sorry if this makes her sound insensitive. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of messages about how we all need to take care of the teenage girls when I was growing up. Teenage girls were on their own. They were pretty much mini adults. They could run away with their boyfriends from the mothers who didn't seem to care about them.
People don't always know what's going on.
Some people think if you're nervous, that's a sign that something's bad. But what if the nervousness leads to an experience that feels like a sea green wave of grief, tears and calm acceptance, and then you feel more cleansed, calmer and more like your real self. How can that be bad?
Maybe some people are just more complicated and have deeper wells of feelings, or they're on a journey to get more in touch with all of the emotions inside of them. It's literally what they were supposed to do when they came here. It's part of the plan.
We live in a society that values things based off money. Nobody's going to give you a paycheck for that emotional processing experience, unless maybe you create some piece of art or song and distribute it and find an audience for it. So unless you do that, society doesn't seem to value the process very much. But it's real, and it's part of their life's work, for some people.
Anyway, someone who doesn't care very much about most kinds of people just got fired.
"Trump fires Pam Bondi, a loyalist and ally, as attorney general" | Pam Bondi | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/02/trump-pam-bondi-attorney-general
People are learning how to pay better attention to themselves.
"Sheltered, petted and constantly entertained by the endless novelty of life, I was a madly gay little girl. Nevertheless, there must have been something wrong somewhere: I had fits of rage during which my face turned purple and I would fall to the ground in convulsions."
Simone de Beauvoir page 11
"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/164006.Memoirs_of_a_Dutiful_Daughter
It's good they don't stone certain kinds of people as much anymore.
I feel bad about how things getting weird can just drive people apart. Maybe it feels like I got a message before and it wasn't listened to and then stuff happened and it kind of felt like if my message had been listened to then perhaps the outcome would have been different. And I was very sad about what happened, too. But I was in a completely different region and perhaps also headspace about it. I cried and I warned and I mourned, but I did it differently. But anyways the messenger definitely does get a cold shoulder sometimes, if not outright stoned. But sometimes people have to process things the way they have to process them. I feel like drinking coffee right now!
*At least my Grandma cared* ABOUT US
What if your grandkids marry somebody whose existence depends upon somebody who's locked away in a detention center right now?
It's good to do the balancing activities.
Maybe I'm going to get very light-hearted and run off to a winery in Temecula or something soon! 🍇
I feel like I'm the kind of person who, when it seems like someone's being too hard on themselves, I think they need to soak in a pool or have a massage or drink something nice and pamper themselves. Or listen to some beautiful music or make some beautiful music. Or enjoy beautiful art or create beautiful art. Or pet a beautiful cat. Or quietly admire a beautiful cat from afar and get to soak in good 💖 energies from the universe.
But then, sometimes if seems like people are just being ignorant in a way that's ultimately going to bite them in the ass, I don't feel that way anymore.
Working out the kinks and the personality; its a lifelong process.
This musician had his mother's last name.
"Chris Cornell" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Cornell
If I ever had kids, I don't necessarily think they would need to take my last name. It's awkward to spell and pronounce it when you're not from the particular little region...you have to explain it all the time and answer questions about it...you'll go to Europe and they'll correct you on the pronunciation...I think it would be interesting if there ever were a study on the effects of all those accumulated conversations over the course of a lifetime.
Cooking three kinds of dishes in my oven!
Two kinds of vegetable dishes and a starchy protein dish. It's more like dinner than breakfast.
"Slaves & Bulldozers (Remastered 2016)"
Soundgarden
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wgqLAlFKtXA&si=nl3rPdOYxKqPWdCa
I threw away some heirloom tomatoes because they had bugs in them. Of course, if I were really starving, I would have picked out the good ones. They just did not look appealing at all, but I had some other tomatoes I could roast.
Dear Diary, this is not the 1940s!
Did we really need to know that Patriarchal White Supremacy still wants people excelling at self-absorption to the point of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual deterioration.
I get to read...
"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/164006.Memoirs_of_a_Dutiful_Daughter
"Simone de Beauvoir's 'remarkable' letters to Violette Leduc"
There's people out there surviving all kinds of things...
"Girl who went missing at 13 years old in 1994 is found alive"
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/girl-went-missing-13-years-old-1994-found-alive-rcna266333
There's a provocative thought, too!
"Maybe this would have worked out better, like A LOT better, for your genetics, if our genetics had been more like yours!"
That's almost, like, family dynamics.
One on hand, it's very hard for us to consider this category of people. On the other hand, it's also hard for us to consider that category of people. In the meantime, why don't you go into debt and struggle with living in your body some more?
Maybe it's supposed to be impossible to ignore some things.
Your body wants you to pay more attention to when certain dynamics and situations and people seem to leave you feeling more unsure and depleted.
Better is possible.
Is convincing yourself that what you want is what's best for another person and then coercing them to go along with it the best way?
Yes, it seems really sad to me right now.
Is being really good at caring for the already more appreciated and well-loved, and not so good at caring about the not so appreciated or well-loved, kind of like an addiction for some people?
Wednesday, April 01, 2026
I wonder if the unwell patriarchy could crumble more efficiently sometimes.
Is this really necessary?
"Big Bear Lake siblings heartbroken as dad is detained by ICE, mom in hospice with stage 4 cancer"| abc7.com
This is a really good song (in my opinion). It's been in my head all day off and on.
It feels timeless already.
Angelo De Augustine - "Mirror Mirror"
We are living through irresponsible times.
"Ms. Rachel details conversations with children in ICE detention"
Being overly focused on the external is not optimal.
I think there's too much coercion that gets normalized sometimes. Tonight I felt like a front tooth is weaker now than it used to be because I tried to bite on something chewy and it wasn't pleasant. I think I could bitten into something chewy more easily before. But perhaps it will be better in the future, and maybe it just needs time to heal. But I don't really know, that's the problem.
Being on Earth is a health situation. Maybe it can be a healing situation.
It's important for people to learn how to advocate for their health instead of just going along with the stuff that other people think is best for them. "I guess I can live with it" is not the same as feeling heard or having a deep feeling that the outcome truly was what was best for your health and your healing and your situation.
🎵 1. 2. 3. 4. 🎵
beabadoobee - "All I Did Was Dream Of You"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qV91x2YT9zI&si=dNgcf65-u15w6xAl
Kawehi - "Somebody That I Used To Know Mashup (live)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pqdeLVApnak&si=MkNfTf2c12v40r2I
Castanets - "You Are The Blood"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VJhgwxSTHDs&si=0ARTRtTzRjuTe5k-
Angelo De Augustine - "Mirror Mirror"
What not-so-kind training did you receive as a child that you're now repeating and role-modeling?
I'm glad I had the kind of childhood that set me up to say, the white moms and the white dads got trained to act like they are the absolute worst at getting outside of their survival bubbles sometimes. I don't think you're doing that for the benefit your kids either. I think you're just doing that as a survival strategy because you don't want to investigate the programming that was poured into your brains. Because some of the people who "loved" you probably are the ones who did it, huh?
Tuesday, March 31, 2026
I think it's time to see it's more kind to start getting more comfortable with admitting when things are not okay.
Or else I can't deal with the "nice" but emotionally draining "lucky" people anymore.
This is difficult, on several levels.
People pressuring you to go along with them and accept their point of view instead of being curious and open enough to be able to listen to your point of view feels wrong and detrimental to health. It happened recently because I felt something was a little too wide but everybody else thought it was fine and did all the smiles and all the pressure. And now I'm up with sore gums. Still looking at it still thinking it's a tad too wide. And I put thousands of dollars. On the credit card. For the experience. I'm going to ask the universe and nature for more help with these kinds of things.
Let's enjoy good food while it lasts, right? But maybe the fertilizer situation will improve.
Today was the day of two Taco Tuesdays!
The first Taco Tuesday meal was served several hours ago and featured street tacos of the following varieties: el pastor, chicken, chorizo and potato. (And I also got some refried beans and cactus salad.)
After eight, there was a second, smaller taco Tuesday meal:
X: I brought home fish tacos!
Y: For yourself?
X: I bought them with my money, but I got two in case you wanted to eat some. But if you don't want to eat some, then I will eat them.
Y: I think you're a growing girl.
X: Then I think you should help me eat my fish tacos!
Lord, is it a sign?
My cat just sought after a spoonful of Fancy Feast so intensely that she completely turned the food dish upside down and mess got everywhere and then I turned it right side up and put the rest of the food in the bowl. I hope she also eats the part that spilled on the floor. Not because of any demeaning reason, but just practically speaking, it would be more helpful.
Update: She did! Thanks, Kitty! Now I only have to clean the floor a little bit.
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