A bunch of books that I haven't read are mentioned in it.
"The vintage top was made in the early 1980s"
lilliangoesvintage
and
auntyfeminist
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXMbTn7jv18/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Friday, April 17, 2026
People should use their talents wisely.
People who sound a lot like someone else when they sing kind of reminds me of when I read about how the neighbors used to say that Thoreau sounded so much (too much) like Emerson especially if the person is doing that and the person kind of looks like a modern-day version of Thoreau with a beard and just that whole look.
What stories may she have to tell?
"'Maman is finally free!’: French widow, 86, flies home after ICE detention ordeal" | France | The Guardian
I kind of do feel a little bit more healed.
I'm also kind of like, they should talk more about how the rich people made the most fortunate kids the least likely to be put away in Manzanar.
Just another ingredient for evolving spiritually.
"Who is Alden Global Capital and Why Should You Care?"
https://marinpost.org/blog/2025/3/20/who-is-alden-global-capital-and-why-should-i-care
Evolve spiritually as you pay your $100 copay and work towards that deductible and know that these guys are only wanting to spring for the very cheapest when it comes to health insurance. But they do have other priorities.
"‘Vulture’ hedge fund accused of hollowing out local journalism is funding a Duke Athletics field" - The Duke Chronicle
Thursday, April 16, 2026
In the name of effervescent brotherly love, nothing can be rushed!
Okay, the side of me that's interested in narrative does not want to take a vacation yet, I guess, because I just remembered that when I was a little kid and I visited the shall I say not so friendly mom babysitter (poor woman, she needed to just take care of her son and not all of those other people's kids) I realized that I'm pretty sure her son's name was Steven. Was he The Little Prince of the household? Yes, he certainly was! He wasn't really my friend. Well he was too little, for one thing. The brown kid who the babysitter seemed to like the least of all was the most my friend. He loved me the most. I associate him with caring and embarrassment and a hot flush coming to my face. Because when I got off the school bus and he called out for me and I tried to run to him, the babysitter yelled at him and it was super mean and I felt so much empathy and love and shame and my face got very hot. Maybe I'll go under hypnosis one day and remember his name. But the universe has allowed me to remember that Steven was like the little prince of that domain. Isn't it funny?
"The Emperor's New Clothes" was playing on the radio as I thought about the amusingness.
Sinead O'Connor - "The Emperor's New Clothes (Official Music Video)"
This was a fun part of life yesterday.
I got a set of books for $4 (at a library used book sale before an appointment) and before I picked out the books, I thought the set of music I listen to in the car was pretty cool; I typed it into my notes before I walked into the library.
luscious Jackson naked eye
rage against the machine testify
silver chair tomorrow
dumb by Nirvana
The breeders cannonball
Soundgarden rusty cage
U2 even better than the real thing
Actually, this is true.
Actually yesterday I met people who made efforts to be nice. It's just that they're working within a barbaric patriarchal healthcare system, and the stuff they have to do to conform in order to work within the barbaric system and get their paychecks kept poking and stabbing at me.
Everything's too weird. Glad I get to go away...
Flume - "Sleepless feat. Jezzabell Doran"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V7-yAX9ijuM&si=mHQ8Tyk3nxp9wQ8h
Neutral Milk Hotel - "Oh Comely"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-fjyEIgWik&si=ix2COjo5IqP-SqjO
The Neighbourhood - "Daddy Issues (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_lMlsPQJs6U&si=H2QrLBaw6DQRgHGg
Angel Olsen - "Shut Up Kiss Me (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nleRCBhLr3k&si=7xNrSbuezsarhNmM
ABBA - "The Winner Takes It All (1980)"
Wednesday, April 15, 2026
Cosmic mother and grandmother energy sees...
"That time when Canadian Government used humans..."
baishakhinath09
https://youtube.com/shorts/mefv0hnJd-o?si=_PM4wUmVgNOfoiQ7
"perspective, empathy, and real life truth"
Wholesome_Granny
Talking about stuff. Help some people.
Another way of saying that talking about stuff helps some people.
"iTS goT NoThInG..."
arc.woman
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVaBZj7k8Sb/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"No seriously..."
mads.made.for.more
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW1ZMKvkX1s/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I hope walking down steps feels better tomorrow, too.
Quadriceps were in a state I didn't altogether anticipate.
"A Monday morning reminder"
fitfatandallthat
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVY1Z2mAEct/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"We have no problem accepting..."
novum.pcos
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVKFlj_E8ya/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
There's probably a lot of forces that want some people to be that way.
Some people can be very addicted to their own ways.
A cute thing I did not pick out myself has been sent to me today.
"Children and cats"
https://www.reddit.com/r/funnycats/s/oWK2wGUYCv
And there are very humorous parts in it, so it's good.
Oops, good things can still happen in the future though.
Kind of another death like experience I don't hardly even want to talk about this but a medical visit made me think it's a real shame that there's a lot of adults who are constantly walking around in a state of perpetual immaturity and insensitivity. They (trained professionals) will blatantly say stuff like they just want everybody to get a Mirena inserted even if that's not necessary for your body. It's like a cult that's not the right fit for your health. Then you have to walk back to your car afterwards and try to feel like not throwing yourself off a cliff again.
This is a restaurant job song...🎶
This song came on the radio recently and it reminded me of when I worked at a restaurant back when they still allowed smoking in the bars all the time. I was over 30 years old with a master's degree and real bills and student loans and rent to pay and I was also trying to help out some unwell family members and I took little trips to see them and had a sort of flexible schedule. I got paid $10 an hour, and then I found out that another host who was an 18 or 19-year-old kid, got paid $13 an hour, and he was a boy. And sometimes I was nice to him because he would cover shifts when I had illnesses, such as getting a horrible yeast infection from my gut getting out of balance because of drinking free soda all the time, because that was the way to get through a shift; you could drank a lot of free soda. And then you were supposed to be upbeat and energetic and answer the phone with: "You've hit Rock Bottom!"
Puddle Of Mudd - "She Hates Me (Explicit)"
The upward trajectory of hard won knowledge can also be such a blessing.
Although, wow, also kind of harsh and also ridiculous sometimes? Remember, kids, the flip side of a spell of limerence will eventually be a spell of anti-limerence.
It's April! I can make a pilgrimage to Corrie ten Boom's grave.
Hey, maybe when the guards are in a good mood, they show the parents pictures of the houses they can now afford to buy, and give the kids treats, and they're making some good memories.
"The Reluctant Traveler: Thanne Longen Folk to Goon on Pilgrimages"
https://travelreluctantly.blogspot.com/2012/09/thanne-longen-folk-to-seken-straunge.html?m=1
"Corrie ten Boom (1892-1983)" - Find a Grave Memorial
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/22002/corrie-ten_boom
"Guideposts Classics: Corrie ten Boom on Forgiveness" - Guideposts
https://guideposts.org/positive-living/guideposts-classics-corrie-ten-boom-forgiveness/
Hopefully near me there's better access to the internet and good tunes. 🍀🎶🌼
"Love Letters"
Dex Romweber Duo
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Ygo6lzee4&si=fqroJUDsodp5o_7c
🌹🎶✉️
"Westerbork Serenade"
Johnny & Jones
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWsczojYluo&si=t3TbEIBM_GRMvlge
🌷🎶🌱
"Ruins of Berlin" live @ Criminal Records
Dex Romweber Duo
Gosh, I wonder if the psychic pollution would be worse if I lived closer to that desert?
"‘Psychological torture’: outcry over conditions at ICE desert detention camp" | US immigration | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/15/ice-desert-detention-camp-east-montana
An inquisitive Rubik's cube square just found itself. Wonderingaboutthat.
Do the kidnapped kids get to take lots of naps in the detention centers?
I want to know when I get to be a garden gnome.
"Are you getting more conservative as you age?"
sidneymorss
Someday, the Elder Siblings will get a break. Or some assistance.
"After her brother was detained in November, he was placed on suicide watch, according to his detention records. During Kifle’s visits, she had to speak to him through a thick pane of glass, using a telephone.
Her brother told her some detainees screamed incessantly and hit their head against the wall. She could tell he was depressed.
'Murderers get better treatment than these immigrants,' Kifle said."
~ Ko Lyn Cheang
"ICE detainee's sister raises alarm about medical neglect at facility"
https://www.sfchronicle.com/california/article/ice-california-city-medical-crisis-22203807.php
"Did you know this?"
menopause_the_truth
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW8cEdwkmxq/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Thinking about thoughtful readers again ...
“'The Yellow Wallpaper' (1892) by Charlotte Perkins Gilman – Deep Cuts in a Lovecraftian Vein"
https://deepcuts.blog/2021/05/01/the-yellow-wallpaper-1892-by-charlotte-perkins-gilman/
So... What's up with this?
"i repeat KIDS. CANT. READ."
@mysweetrooker
https://youtube.com/shorts/rOkIeLFOpXk?si=7Dzgd8u52g6bewdL
"When the home school prom is going crazy."
@Lee_Houston
Gee, maybe some things have been orchestrated by a more optimistic corner of the universe...
Doubling the possibility of feeling on the verge of going insane for different reasons in pursuit of a brave experiment is worth the joys of acquiring knowledge through empirical methods, I guess, lol?
Lady Gaga - "Bad Romance (Official Music Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&si=ilx4u8uPkmdJLXrA
How thoughtful of her to bring along lots of dancers to entertain Mr. Science Variable as he just sits and stares and drinks whatever he's drinking. He's probably processing a lot of information and learning so much. Oh wait! He's got also a whole bunch of scientists...he's got like a team with him. This is being concocted by the aliens' intelligences. Actually, I feel like it's like dance tryouts in front of judges. What happened at the end. Did he spontaneously combust?
And of course, it made me think about the yellow wallpaper, too. Sigh...
"a TedTalk but it's Victorian"
KarolinaZebrowskax
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FmwnI7Jc5Gk&si=9hf-MIDro1lNl4UT
"Charlotte Perkins Gilman on Why She Wrote 'The Yellow Wallpaper'”
https://lithub.com/charlotte-perkins-gilman-on-why-she-wrote-the-yellow-wallpaper/
Doesn't it ever feel like the suffering ones deserve better and they got to get to the next level somehow?
(Brothers and sisters participating in a more compassionate kind of love energy / mentality.)
"The Edges"
Rachika Nayar
Tuesday, April 14, 2026
"Around here, hard times don't silence people"
"... they give them something to sing about" - Tyler Childers
therapist.in.the.woods
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWgbDcukR75/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
When it feels bad, like there are forces that want to suppress your voice, you seek evidence that there are others who probably would not do so.
"Reposting as a two-parter"
howies_everythingclub
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV1SFrbjfGa/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Part two of my post"
howies_everythingclub
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV1SkjjDf5X/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"In 1972, Martha 'Marty' Goddard volunteered at a crisis hotline, counseling girls who had been molested by their fathers, their teachers, their uncles. Soon, Marty was on a mission to answer a question: Why were so many sexual predators getting away with these crimes? By the end of the decade, she had launched a campaign pushing hospitals and police departments to collect evidence of sexual assault and treat survivors with dignity. She designed a new kind of forensics tool—the rape kit—and new practices around evidence collection that spread across the country. Yet even as Marty fought for women's rights, she allowed a man to take credit for her work.
When journalist Pagan Kennedy went looking for this forgotten pioneer, she discovered that even Marty Goddard's closest friends had lost track of her. As Pagan followed a trail of clues to solve the mystery of Marty, she also delved into the problematic history of forensics in America. The Secret History of the Rape Kit chronicles one journalist's mission to understand a crucial innovation in forensics and the woman who championed it. As Pagan Kennedy hunts for answers, she reflects on her own experiences with sexual assault and her own desire for justice."
"The Secret History of the Rape Kit: A True Crime Story by Pagan Kennedy"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/112974865-the-secret-history-of-the-rape-kit
Too calming.
🕊️🌷🪷
"By far one of the worst"
growwithendo
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV1QxwhDFR8/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"*casually..."
haileymarino
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUjwdvXjNCu/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"listen to your luteal self"
oliviap.jones
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV8zlC1jqKv/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
'Whyyy don't they teach us this in school???"
sophiamefremova
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUw7bVvjqlA/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I think the gifted and talented were the parentified children"
parkercatontherapy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVuC2uBEgz0/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
But this reminds me that humanity is fun.
123456
"If you know me..."
thereseover60
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVyi44zgNtq/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"You can looksmaxx all you want..."
heidiunhinged
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVSUUJyDNLH/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"For decades discussion of wartime sexual violence..."
jessielouisevernon
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW7GnZ6iHRF/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Once you notice how wrong it is..."
bodyimagehealingcoach
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVkjBc9jbwK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Decentering men"
rebekahbuege
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWjQjJ8Am5G/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"#autism #adhd #neurodiverse"
jacobhatesyou
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWyxO2ZiM21/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Calmly observing the stormy seas!
🌊🌊🌊
"If you've been extra critical of yourself today..."
mikzazon
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVPERw0kTpm/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"And most of the comments were from 'traditional' men."
hannuhortega
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV4DWKGD8Y_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I have a lot more to say..."
hannahlacavamusic
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXC85pCirW3/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Ha! Ever think about running at night?
"Gentle, reminder ladies. Always outdanger the danger."
heyclairewyckoff
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTwLHSXDLAE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I've had enough of Skinni Gram"
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWHDG50jXtj/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Normal today is not necessarily normal tomorrow.
Diagnosis-wise, too.
"last year I wrote my dissertation on female anger, rage and the pathologisation of female emotions"
vulturesangel
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXEfZY6gYaj/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Research diaries 🥀"
vulturesangel
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXDTkR9AUsM/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
A kind of "memory" about the psyche.
Actually something significant about remembering what happened to a girl in another time in regards to her psyche is that she was guided but she also got her psyche shattered and it's because of the living situation she was in. And what happened was that she went walking in a garden and was feeling pretty good and happy and then all of a sudden some voices were warning her that she was going to be encountering something really disturbing and not to get too disturbed and they were trying to help her, but she stumbled across her husband and his girlfriend who was probably also known to her somehow, and it was definitely like something that was very mean, and a betrayal, and that's just a very polite way to say it because what I honestly saw just now was that it was like a sword split h er in two. Well, her whole life was arranged by other people and she was just supposed to go along with it, but then apparently in the arranged marriage she still had some kind of creative partnership with this person and they also did get very emotionally intertwined with one another.
That's so great, but also, who cares?
There's high praise on the other side for those that dared to get their psyches broken and then were able to advance to the next level, but I don't know if I feel like tuning into the other side right now. I want to be healed and older and wiser, like tomorrow. And then feel able to have more fun, too. It really is like somebody could be whispering over my shoulder at the grocery store. "We know you're mad now, but you're you're on your way to the next level." That's not a schizophrenic thing. Because it's soft and it's not the same as when people are tormented and taking medication for schizophrenia. But it's not what some people experience on a regular basis though. And therefore, I think I was taught to ignore those voices that are trying to help me sometimes.
Gosh, when I was an older kid sometimes I felt so solid, especially if I read some spiritual books.
I thought I was going to be really solid and grounded and spiritual as I grew up and things were going to be great and I had no idea the kinds of things that we're going to end up challenging me. Psychologically and physically, and a lot of it has to do with violence. There's a lot of violence in the world. There's a lot of unacknowledged violence or underacknowledged violence.
Look at what's happening with the Epstein files. Look at how all these men did terrible things and none of them are in prison and the only one who is in prison is the woman who was probably groomed by all kinds of factors. Not that it's an excuse for her behavior, but it's just a very messed up world. It's really messed up. I can't forget how messed up it is. I don't want to. It doesn't feel safe for me to forget how messed up it is right now. I have to remember.
I feel like there's multiple things that have been intersecting.
I don't have just one particular set of circumstances in my head. It's like those other circumstances get mixed up with some kind of Nazi concentration camp stuff and it's really quite vile. When it gets to be too much it's completely deranging almost. But if I was totally deranged I wouldn't be able to be able to get back to a state of calm. And also my cat still likes to be around me. She's not scared of me.
Feel like I'm getting more even tempered because I'm not as mad. I'm just getting observant.
A lot of things are messed up and it's had a very particular impact on my health, physically and mentally and emotionally and that's why my psyche felt like it got broken and it's not really totally repaired yet, but I'm slightly more able to be observant and calm now. I like myself better when I can be more observant and calm so I like this better.
I guess maybe this was going to happen eventually.
I feel like the good thing is that if you say "my psyche has been shattered and I need to get healing for it," it's like you're taking ownership of it and you don't have to wait for somebody else to do something or say something or be a certain way in order to know that you can at least try to take some steps to get better. Humans are pretty alone on their paths and if you are the sort of person who can tune into lots of different information and it all comes in....You don't know how to handle all that stuff. Things get too overwhelming and something takes a hit. And maybe sometimes that something is the psyche. I don't want to go down the road of ruining a bunch of clothes again. I was feeling pretty happy as if that was starting to be behind me.
Shattered psyche returning. I hope a healing session helps soon.
Silence indicates that people want you to be a non-entity who doesn't matter and isn't important. Like a person locked away in a detention center that they just prefer to forget about. The not real ones; that's the category people get relegated to when they become too inconvenient to consider as a real person. Maybe the reason why people end up doing that is because they didn't heal from the abuse that they experienced themselves and so then they end up repeating old patterns.
Some people are going to be emotionally immature until they die. Maybe they'll do better in the next life. It's too hard for them to change in this life. They're going to constantly expect you to pretend that things are fine to suit them and their childish outlook on the world. Even when abuse happens they don't want to admit that it happened and they don't want to say sorry that it happened and they're just locked into a survival mode and they can't see any other way of being. That is definitely going to damage some things.
That's why you have to go on your own and try to heal yourself because you can't wait for other people to want to heal as much as you have to heal in order to be able to piece your psyche back together.
This is also going to help me find a link between cleaning and creativity.
Bruce Springsteen - "Erie Canal (The Seeger Session)"
Not an outliner by nature, but I can make outlines.
So the way I used to write papers is this: I had to kind of purge myself of a bunch of ideas, and then I would look at them, and then I would sort of try to mold it and shape it a little more, and then a little more, and a little more, and eventually I would turn something in, and it would get an A minus.
Grounding.
X: So I might do a little excursion because I looked up this place and blah blah blah blah blah. But I don't know if he's going to accept my reservation because I don't have a lot of history on Airbnb and blah blah blah. So I said I was going on the trip because blah blah blah so he wouldn't think I'm crazy.
Y: I don't know why you're worried that someone's going to think you're crazy.
Instead, the cat is crazy. She's crashing around.
Oh good; so grounding!!!!
Life is getting better!😊
"The Lies of Tradwife Submission and 'Weaker Vessel'"
therealmanifestelle
I felt like looking at what this comedian 's posting because she's funny.
"Men find women who walk this way most attractive"
AnnaAkana
Maybe that happens a lot, actually.
Can a plate throwing type of day really transition into something that's more graceful and peaceful?
"Date With A Child Psychologist" - SNL
https://youtube.com/watch?v=naK3KWjbAzA&si=ea0WO7gRBEOe0O51
🍄🌾🌿🌻🪻🌼🌵🏵️☘️🌺🌷
Maybe I can get a simpler assignment.
I want a simpler one! Like when I sat next to the author of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" on a plane as a kid, and then I reached my destination (MI), and that evening I looked on the back of someone else's book and I said, "Hey, I sat next to that guy on the plane."
I think that this is why there's a category that it is best to call "eccentric."
It's almost like mental illness, or else maybe it's just like nature's trying to speed up creative processes. Nature just sees a little window of opportunity and it's like okay, speed up this process. Speed it along now.
How can one keep up?
And now things are s
upposed to be funny, again?
"A whole new level of service"
u/ Shimei-Chan
The butterflies LOVE Mexico.
"21 Million Butterflies Live In One Small Spot - A-Z Animals"
https://a-z-animals.com/articles/21-million-butterflies-live-in-one-small-spot/
I mean, if there's still coldness and fear because of unhealed covert abuse / trauma...
It's possible to use it, utilize it somehow?
"Rümeysa Öztürk: I Saw the Horrors of ICE Detention Firsthand. It Is No Place For A Child"
Oh dear, you'd think they would have better things to do with their time.
"French woman, 86, held by ICE after moving to US to reunite with long-lost love"
I think Patriarchal norms have been doing a real disservice to humanity.
There's all this weird stuff you learn in church and in school and then you see who's running the government and it's completely screwed up and it's really messed with people's minds and they don't want to look at it but it's really done a number on a lot of people's minds. That's what I think.
It's funny how the cat doesn't notice that I'm strange for certain types of society.
The cat thinks I'm just like a normal person who pets her and feeds her and everything. I don't know. Some of us are not really supposed to be playing up to certain elements of society right now. As much as others, perhaps. Maybe maybe we just have different life missions or something.
Time to get more positive again...
Anyways, hopefully the disenfranchised ones can get more help from the people who feel motivated to be more curious about others.
Anyways, incredible talent is incredible talent, but it's not as important as other things.
Maybe you should try harder to be more like a meal that feels like it's going to be nourishing experience instead of an incredible dessert for a bunch of other people who are fulsome with praise but are also really blind to a lot that's going on and they are also not terribly cognizant of some things.
I guess it's hard to break a long habit.
You've mainly been like a servant to white men and / or the type of girls that white men prefer to put on pedestals for your whole life pretty much. It's not my job to break your bad habits. Break your own bad f****** habits on your own f****** time. They do not give a s*** they are not going to encourage you to break any bad habits. They truly do not give a s*** and they would not give a s*** about you if you were in a different body and had a different type of circumstance ascribe to you and I don't trust them and I'm not hanging out with these people who are addicted to acting entitled to be complete assholes.
Hence the incredible discomfort that always comes up.
It's sad if you think that way of life is the best that you can do. You're cheating yourself. Maybe you can do better in another life if you really believe that's the very best you can do in this life. I suppose that's the danger of getting lots and lots of praise for being the way that you are. You just have no motivation to change because you get so much praise for the way you are already and it's like why would you want to change? Why would you want to? It's so good right now, even though it's not good enough, but it's good enough? It looks really screwed up.
You and your friends have made it clear that people like me and your mother and other certain kinds of people that I already know who are living are like worthless pieces of s*** to you.
Yourself and your stepfather would have no comfortable retirement without your mother. You guys are just the take that keeps on taking. You attract people into your circle around you who are also the take that keeps on taking. They take and they take and they take and they take and that's all they f****** do is take. They expect to be celebrated for their great talent at taking. And taking and taking and taking and taking and taking. Do you know what that is? I think it's exhausting. Exhausting, exhausting, exhausting, exhausting exhausting exhausting.
"I'm ignoring your pain like you're ignoring your pain."
Big Patriarchal Folks Are Less Abundant With Certain Kinds of Daughters Vibes.
Of course other people have noticed this too, but what did Patriarchal Society want them to do with that knowledge???
Unfortunately, there's a lot of covert abuse that gets covered up in families, and sometimes one person seems to bear the brunt of it more than others, I've noticed. I have to get some needles stuck in me right now so I'll just think better and more calming thoughts in case they take my blood pressure.
And what do we mean by better?
Maybe some people's moms got to reincarnate and find better groups of friends in the next incarnation.
Have you gotten skinny and rich enough yet?
Okay so as soon as you get pregnant fawn all over a man and stop giving a s*** about women and children you're going to be a really great fit for this. I don't know what is it exactly?
Which babysitter do you think cares more about kids being locked away in a detention center?
The average mother babysitter, or the exceptional teenage babysitter? Because I bet it's the teenage babysitter.
So many choices to make now!
Because she's the best even though she never gave birth, choose the teenage babysitter who's fun and whose parents have a pool and who wants to be a pediatrician.
Let's talk about all the babysitting that's going to happen.
Now I remember that when I went to see the blonde mother babysitter, even though she had to babysit to make money, they still seemed quite well off. They had a bunch of land. They had a nice house and she had a telescope. And oh my God this telescope, it was just the forbidden fruit of the house. I will tell you that. Very off limits to the children, of course.
Free the disenfranchised; it's your freedom too!
"Hundreds of sex toys thrown around during California anti-ICE protest" – The Mercury News
The song of humanity. Sometimes.
"I just love having an effect. It actually really doesn't matter what effect. I just love having an effect. It really boosts my self-esteem."
Oh, I do wonder if this could be the case for some people.
"spiritual women are blocked from a normal life"
@amy_untamed
I must look these creators up again.
🧑🏻🩰🪭🪩💃🏻
There they are.
"Part 38 | Replying to"
Caroline
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkfoAQNW/
"When a stamp gets born"
@kendragaylord
So many old screenshots to say goodbye to...
This is from several years ago.
Overshare and care or overshare don't care mode.
There's so much more to delete than that. There's so much more. Time to get on that.
I'm going to have fun finding a place to go away to by myself.
My whole life is my work. It doesn't matter who thinks I'm successful or who thinks I'm nice. People are being pressured into going along with a lot of lies that their repressed churches and abusive families and not very imaginative educators fed to them, and then they end up living lesser lives than they could be living.
Anyways, finding out more about the locations of different kinds of muscles in various places has mostly been a result of being in contact with several nice women who have more knowledge about how to exercise. That has not turned me into a thin person, but nevertheless it has been very educational for me. Know the vehicle you inhabit.
Maybe more divorces could have extremely good outcomes for society!?
"Billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott has donated again"
Two songs I started and then stopped and I guess I will finish watching them later.
I guess you just got to hope that the talent survives the other talent(s)?
Moray - "I'm So Addicted to Male Validation"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lkaoz6En7cc&si=hGXHe_PYrgMjStZ6
We Three - "Dear Diary"
People will be scared of the title of this piece, but in my opinion, they should read it anyway.
"Most Men Don’t Rape – But Most Men Benefit From Rape" – AMY KING
https://amyking.wordpress.com/2026/01/19/most-men-dont-rape-but-most-men-benefit-from-rape/
Tend to your health after you have a setback.
I'm putting my health first, and also I think there are some people who have some compassion and empathy for the difficulties I've been through, and it helps to be able to believe that sometimes. I was feeling like I was healing a lot more and then I kind of felt like I had a setback and I want to go back to feeling more on a path of healing and harmony. A lot of people had trauma when they were growing up, but according to their experiences and what seemed to help them, they have had very different ways of handling themselves. Ask the universe for more help when you become aware that some things became too difficult and you felt like you got stretched to the limit too much.
Monday, April 13, 2026
Aw...This is just rather nervous system regulating to read...
"Henry David Thoreau is one of those figures whose name one may know but whose writing often boils down in the mind to titles of works never read — including 'Walden' and 'Civil Disobedience.' Some lines may be familiar: 'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation'; 'Our life is frittered away by detail ... simplify, simplify!' (The latter I first heard quoted by a character played by Dick Van Dyke in the movie 'What a Way to Go!') Thoreau coined the phrase 'different drummer,' which links him directly to Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, whose song 'Different Drum' became a hit for Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Poneys in 1967."
~ Robert Lloyd
"Henry David Thoreau' documentary from Ken Burns reveals his relevance" - Los Angeles Times
A peaceful Southern event.
"WUCF Brings Henry David Thoreau Off the Screen and Into the Garden This Earth Month"
Such a peaceful Midwestern activity.
"A Walk Thoreau Nature: PBS Wisconsin Thoreau Pop-Up"
https://pbswisconsin.org/events/a-walk-thoreau-nature-pbs-wisconsin-thoreau-pop-up/
Tsk, O. Palme
"Abandoned by their own government, the hostages viewed their captors—who showed them small acts of care—as less threatening than the reckless authorities outside. The captors offered food and conversation. The authorities offered tear gas and martyrdom.
In reality, Stockholm Syndrome wasn’t about irrational attachment to abusers. It was a survival response to a system that had already written them off as expendable."
~ Lovette Jallow
Anyways, I guess I have to pay more attention in case there's any sudden transitions coming up.
Creative writing thoughts from earlier....
"I'm so mad about chewing on my skirt that I hope that the universe thinks that somebody as messed up as you is what happens when Emerson dies and comes back. Can someone who's actually been to Frankenmuth be such a jerk. Of course, I'm sure lots of assholes have visited Frankenmuth. I bet you wanted a lot of the not so nice people to be friends with you. I bet you had terrible taste in men. I bet you wanted immature jocks to be more accepting and accommodating and nicer, and now sometimes you have to act like some jerk because you were trying to be better friends with these other people who are also choked up limited repressed people and their jerkiness rubbed off on you. Eeesh. You're just less scary than other men in your family. Did you just pick a scary picture because you have scary things in your lineage. You're supposed to figure it out though. You should get deep in your research and become a real scholar about it. Glad I didn't need to meet someone as scary as that when I was younger. Oh, apparently I had to meet other scary people instead. I met other scary people anyways, so I didn't miss out on the scariness. Isn't it actually amazing that you've got this really weird mean controlling side? Maybe you should write a sensitive song about that, how sometimes sappy people have this alternate side of their personality. Have fun with that? Do you think you would be nicer if you were in a creative writing group?"
You should try to integrate your personalities and be a better person.
You should work harder on that.
There's a lot of problems.
Geez, why put it off? Is it so great for you right now? Is it really that great?
Bet a whole spectrum of mothers and children and women and girls could be treated A LOT better in the future. People should quit stalling. Just change. It's not that hard. You'd be changing a lot faster if you had more motivation to change. You know who has the motivation to change. People who don't have other people fawning all over them and people who don't have a bunch of comfortable things easily accessible to them. Those are the people who have more motivation to change. But why is it that way. It could be that some of the more comfortable people could have more motivation to change too. I think it could be. It's not entirely impossible for it to be that way, too. It's not entirely impossible for that to happen.
I'll just have to ask the Cosmic Mother for more help, I guess?
I bet I wouldn't have any problems with chewing on skirts if I had gone to a church that taught me more about the Cosmic Mother. Then, when foolish people acted stupid, I wouldn't be feeling like, Oh my God it's hopeless. Oh my God, it's that flinging oneself over the cliff feeling again. Oh no, it's the patriarchy. It's the pastors and the churches. It's the stupid men being in charge of all the money and all the governments and all the music on the radio! Oh wow, so that story about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a thing that exists because people really do act like that sometimes.
I really was pretty sad about the skirt today.
I was so disgusted that I started chewing on a nice skirt that I liked today. Nobody will ever know how absolutely disgusted I feel about that. You know sometimes I think people have friends who are men who haven't done the work that they're supposed to be doing and then you think you want to yell at them and say something like, "You just want someone to yell at you because you had mean men in your family. Maybe it's not the only life! Mean past life blood in your psyche, too? Whose telling your deceased mom and your deceased loves on you? You need help. You need to get like shamanic healing or something. You're supposed to be sensitive but you're almost like a mean stockbroker or something when you're in a bad mood. Good thing you weren't born into a rich family in this life."
This music looked interesting to me, but I'm going to have to miss a live show of it.
"Yiddish Hula Boy (Becky I Ain't Coming Back)"
Janet Klein and her Parlor Boys
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xh9Exl3uqzo&si=cXukRRj-iMHiiVyS
I decided I have to put my healing ahead of attending a live show of music and there's a scheduling conflict so I'll just have to look some tunes up on YouTube, as usual.
Wow, the patriarchy needs healing! I can't believe my clothing and my teeth have to suffer so much.
Wow! There's some really crazy, like, mean manipulative stock broker man type energy out there sometimes. People that are sensitive and don't like that stuff have it hard.
Go look up covert abuse and look for instances of it and how it affected your childhood.
Next time I should just start yelling at the assholes much earlier and first, without ruining my own f****** clothes in the process.
Acting like assholes is not an abundance mindset.
Sheltered white people are the best at acting like feeling entitled to behave like the insensitive shallow assholes the patriarchal culture wanted them to be is the best they can do. And they're also the most gullible when it comes to acting like it's fine to discount all the other kinds of people whose labor is constantly making everyone else feel like they're supposed to put just them on a pedestal at the expense of others. And they're also the best at being terrible at trying to put themselves in other people's shoes. That's what they really excel at; being terrible at considering others. That's what they're the absolute best at.
Unfortunately, sometimes there are relapses.
I like these two humorous perspectives.
"My Ancestors Deciding to Live in the Midwest"
ohhyoubetcha
https://youtube.com/shorts/LmrMt2PqO8Q?si=MjCr6MgGmT5pKA-Z
"I don't like that."
burger_babie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXDH3CFAUNO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
After all, why not strive to improve upon what was far from perfection?
And it's also not necessarily the goal to be totally 100% perfect while doing it. Because that would be hard and change is hard and nobody's going to be 100% perfect at doing it. Just remember to aim to have a general upwards trajectory right? Possibly, the good change could happen even faster than expected!
"This is How a Professional Counselor Describes Covert Emotional Abuse"
drdavidbhawkins
So encouraging.
I think more people sharing about how excited they are to overcome the covert abuse patterns that they were indoctrinated with either at home or at school or in various ways on account of their Patriarchal upbringings in a Patriarchal culture that is currently crumbling is really something to look forward to!
Imperfect and not always perfectly organized but colorful.
I feel like a Rubik's cube is also not the perfect analogy, but nevertheless a Rubik's cube comes to mind. I've never solved one after it got rearranged probably, but it seems like the little squares of a Rubik's cube are reminding me more about how a lot of people have many different facets to their personality.
I can tell that I have a facet of my personality that is kind and nurturing and really wants people to be helped and more healed, and maybe that facet of my personality is more tuned in to some of the Cosmic Mother energy, because isn't that part of what being here is all about.
But because the Patriarchical Society on this planet makes it a place where survival strategies are necessary to get through difficult days and times, there's also lots of other squares...
Sharing is caring!
If face to face conversations are not happening yet, I would be super interested in reading more detailed essays about some people's formative childhood experiences!
Protesting Patriarchy.
"A few dozen anti-ICE protesters had gathered around noon and began adorning the fence surrounding the Metropolitan Detention Center in downtown L.A. with silicone phalli of all colors — pink, purple and human skin-colored.
As the toys piled up outside the facility, a small group of protesters spilled onto Alameda Street, between Aliso and Temple streets. They carried signs reading 'Detention centers are concentration camps' and 'No ICE.'"
~ Suhauna Hussain
"ICE detention facility pelted with sex toys"
Scales falling from eyes feelings...
If a way of life is too abusive to be tolerable for other people's children, it might not actually be so great for the more "privileged" ones, either.
Waking up...
People who can't talk about the scary things, too, are too scary to me.
"Isolation generates abuse"
streetlighteyesdontdie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXAQ1mkkWR-/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sunday, April 12, 2026
I just have to lean into this for a little bit.
The universe even arranged it so that I feel like, when I was a kid on an island in the Pacific Northwest and I ran down the hill in front of the house that my mother and her boyfriend decided to buy, I was really excited because it felt very rural and different and like it was something out of another era or out of a book I had been reading, and it's all mixed up with how I was getting this impression of two guys having some sort of argument about a horse or something that was kind of trivial but also important, and it felt kind of like two 19th century guys were doing that. That was intermingling with the freedom of discovering the new landscape on the island.
Because energy is trying to communicate with a sentient person.
Anyways, I think the universe wanted me to look at Thoreau and Emerson walking around a pond, sometimes getting along and sometimes arguing. Maybe / probably arguing more than normal. Humanity's just flailing around trying to get to the next level and you're not that different from other people; be prepared for some arguments.
She reminds me more of the positive role model!
"There are so many conversations that we could have..."
carolineconnen
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVbsaBxjvAK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Doesn't change much about the reflexive coldness of some people, but...it's progress, I guess.
"The anti-ICE resistance is working"| Judith Levine
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/12/anti-ice-protests-trump
Disenfranchised grief is a big thing.
Disenfranchised people are totally going to get seen by somebody.
Ugh, the scar.
It's a good thing that when I was a little kid in upstate New York, I had a nice, fun, blonde teenage babysitter who taught me how to go swimming to compare to the much meaner blonde mother who was oppressive and stabbed me with a needle. Because she was trying to dig a splinter out of my finger out of duty and not with much compassion, and, well, it just not a good experience, for me or my sister or the brown boy.
Of course, sometimes the mind wants to figure out more about the negative lessons, but maybe we should just think more about the positive like swimming lessons and peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and playing games and the funny laugh the nice babysitter had. She had a very distinctive laugh. It was kind of like a sneeze.
I'm pretty sure the blonde mother had too much on her plate to care about anyone else's kids and really should not have been babysitting us, but unfortunately she was a mother in a patriarchal society, and babysitting was a way to make money.
The Big D.
"Disappointment"| Nature Walk Talks with Dr. Dale Atkins
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2s_BB86z9hU&si=uo5KNboxx8xmKlyW
🌊🎶🌊🎶🌊🎶
Wet Leg - "Chaise Longue (Official Video)"
What are we here on Earth to do?
I think it would be interesting to talk about how the idea of knowing some people can be both appealing and scary at the same time.
Some of us die sooner than others, for some reason.
Is this actually provocative or is it just kind of a normal question?
If we don't want other people's children to be in concentration camps any more than we want our children to be in concentration camps then why don't we get better at acting like it?
Some humans seem to want to stop being so... What's the word?
Maybe some people should make a list of which topics they find unattractive to explore and why?
It could be really interesting to find out why you find some topics to be more uncomfortable to explore than others.
I'm not saying this to pick on people. I'm saying, if these are things that need to be healed, they're not going to go away if people don't want to address them. So it could be interesting to find out why some people don't want to address them.
It's also interesting to find out why some people find it more tolerable to kind of just ignore what's happening and keep on going along with life, and other people find it more intolerable, and why that is so.
At least I don't wake up thinking about them all the time anymore.
When Earth feels like such a dense place, it makes me kind of wonder if I was a concentration camp non-survivor in another life. Should I ever read that guy's book, the one that Joy Division referenced? It would be also something to see this documentary.
"The Return from the other Planet"| Filmmakers Live
Kitty is super friendly. It's good energy perhaps?
Helpful "Don't turn into a spendthrift on clothing" therapy.
"I tell my patients that BMI is not a good indicator of health"
healthislove.co
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWkYzltDkLS/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"When the beauty standard is thinness..."
lucievallee
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWGa2gGDW_B/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I'm angry. Anyone else?"
alexlight_ldn
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWjgT_ijBZh/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Isn't an affinity for repetition kind of like an "on the spectrum" activity?
And perhaps that is why going through these hiccups / phases of immaturity can be somewhat comforting...
"Hell’s Grannies" | Monty Python (Official Sketch)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fvRgf5KK08U&si=74oaPhJktCZB69Az
"Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=g3YiPC91QUk&si=pK8WO-KbVGD730j2
"Huge Tracts of Land"
~ Monty Python
Being inquisitive and curious is very genuine.
I actually think it's more genuine for me to get more inquisitive because I'm actually really curious. Sometimes I'm more curious than lead eyelid on, then I've let on, and sometimes I think I've been given access to more information than I've talked about. Even though I've already talked about a lot of stuff and rambled about it and probably rambled on, on purpose. Because making things messy and imperfect is kind of a survival strategy sometimes.
Good luck to me with this.
I'm going to try to get better at being inquisitive instead of reactive. Reactive to my own trauma, reactive to how someone else's different experiences trigger me...I feel like I just want to get more inquisitive instead. I think it might produce better interactions and results and things like that.
Apparently, I didn't choose a wife, I mean a life, with one strict solution that's going to solve everything.
Am I supposed to look at funny things? Am I supposed to look at sad things? Am I supposed to look at poetry? Am I supposed to look at music? Am I supposed to exercise? Go grocery shopping? What am I supposed to do now? Well, I think I'm going to send out a nature poem that I workshopped last year and got feedback on. Do you know the value of somebody really paying attention to a piece of work when it's in progress? Even if it's just one small poem. It's almost like having the memory of a really good dinner.
I think things will get better, and I think it's alright that a lot of things have been strange.
It's still such a great opportunity to get to know more about life?
I really was looking forward to getting insights from the exphrasis class before the plans changed.
I believe I'm slowly receiving more insights from the universe anyways!
It's fine to eat cookies sometimes!
I most certainly will sprinkle edible glitter on some of them. Also, I found out that apparently I will get to learn more about something called "goddess squats" tomorrow from someone who knows more about that sort of thing than I do.
As I reflect back on this life so far, I wouldn't say I've been that "successful" by outward metrics, but I do think that sometimes I've been given an indication that some people can hear me, and they think I have potential to maybe get more "successful" in the future, possibly?
You know I do believe baking with music is pretty enjoyable for me.
"Soul blueprint 🎶"
"I Can't See New York (2023 Remaster)" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HRUNACbbfZs&si=bM6kiMPT-AKOyQI2
I'm waiting for the butter to soften.
And I'm burning incense, American, I mean, A MYRRH CONE, lol. And then I'm going to bake starchies and probably work on a puzzle and listen to "The Tenth Island" by D. Marcum on CD.
"ah to be 30 years old in 1990..."
mysweetrooker
Decided this is also a good time for baking a certain recipe.
"Tonight I finally made the starchies"
kaiser.nathaniel
https://www.instagram.com/p/C-l9ReluA-u/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"baking is expensive"
ashbaber
https://youtube.com/shorts/viR1ayhkwL4?si=SRplmWa6XUT_9JJv
I took a picture of it when my sister was visiting and it's perfect because I accidentally bought too much cornstarch one time when I already had enough, and plus I have enough butter, and plus there's an old can of condensed milk from back when we went to the food bank. So it's perfect. And I can add jam to them later if I want to.
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