I have to look up how much things I can't get cost to motivate myself.
Tuesday, June 16, 2026
How come I never heard of her before? There should be a movie about her.
And I forgot I'd seen clips of the film based off her book.
"Edna Ferber" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edna_Ferber
"Giant Love: Edna Ferber, Her Best-selling Novel of Texas, and the Making of a Classic American Film" | The Curious Reader
"Giant (1956) Official Trailer"
I've been waiting for a couple of decades to read this book again.
I want to see how this holds up: "Melusine" by Lynne Reid Banks
I first read it when I was in junior high. I believe I read at least part of it in California, too. So I must have taken it with me on a "vacation." I found a used copy and ordered it off the internet when I was a young adult living in Illinois, but it never came. I just gave up on it because it was so cheap. It was probably a scam. But this one wasn't a scam, and the book actually arrived.
Oh, it might be signed by the author! That's a pretty name. I've never gotten a signed book as a surprise before.
I enjoyed a vegan meal.
I ate roasted tomatoes with olive oil, raw dandelion greens, parsley, cashew cheese and gluten-free crackers. It was very good
And then I was brought, for dessert, a blueberry lemonade popsicle and a book!
Flowers and a page from today's helpful library book.
"Everyday Ayurveda for Women's Health" by Kate O'Donnell
In "Part Three: Finding Balance Through the Seasons of Life," from the section called "Purusarthas: The Four Aims of Life"
"Dharma: Righteous, ethical living
Artha: Wealth, material goods, security
Kama: Desire, gratification
Moksha: Emancipation, spiritual freedom"
Page 106
This was helpful for me to see because it feels like the dominant culture is neglecting a few of these aspects. My body might need to feel more balanced in order to feel better than it has been with what the dominant culture is currently providing.
And this one, too.
ICE will be looking for sick children. And then what?
"St. Jude's is in Memphis"
montemader
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZnsR-fRoNo/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
When I was able to look at the internet again, this caught my eye.
"As the U.S. turns 250, this historian has blunt advice: 'America has to grow up'"
https://www.npr.org/2026/06/15/nx-s1-5856348/america-250-eddie-glaude
Someday they maybe will want to do more healing types ofthings, too.
Let's tune in with more healing types of things and let others do their other things, and hopefully, most of the time, we may be able to know that's what's much better for health and well-being at the moment.
Or I'll ask my angels and health guardians and flower essences to help me now.
Maybe angels can help where humans fear to tread.
Turning point, though.
I wonder how this body ever got so emotionally and physically and medically neglected. It's such a big project to deal with at the moment. It takes up all my time. It takes up everything.
I wish they would go away to a sanitarium for their kind. I just don't want to be around them at all.
My least favorite thing about certain kinds of artists is how they think pushing away other people's realities away in the name of their art is what they're supposed to be doing.
They're just dealing with their own neglect in ways that other people really can't replicate.
I feel sorry for people who are so obsessed with art and making art right now. Also, I really cannot be like them right now. Body just doesn't want us to do that kind of thing right now.
They're all just expressing their their sadness in different ways.
I'm sorry the people who were neglected have been neglected. I don't honestly want to create anything that's big or makes a lot of money right now. But maybe in the future I will. I just can't do it right now. There's too much to do. I have to take care of the stressed out, neglected body. I have to make a new and better pattern happen. The body is very needy. The capitalistic culture is so bad for it. The Patriarchy just doesn't know how to take care of this kind of a body at all.
It's time to make the right decisions for the body.
It's time to stop and cry about medical neglect right now. Even if it's if it's just yawning and a little bit of tears squeezing out of the eyes from tiredness and just feeling very tired and that's what it is.
It's time to stop some things because of health issues.
I started to read a book I felt like looking at again, but stopped now. I can read it later.
Ghosts Beneath Our Feet by Betty Ren Wright. I had that book's image in my head. For some reason.
"Ghosts beneath our feet : Wright, Betty Ren"
I have found a lot of books, but I haven't found that one yet.
I want to find a particular illustrated children's picture book where a boy is looking out the window and sees the changes of the seasons.
Oh this is still not it, but it's a good find because I also read it as a little kid so that's cool. I don't know why I can't find the one that I'm looking for though.
"Vintage 1982 First Little Golden Book - My Book Of The Seasons" | eBay
Oh, look at all of these.
None of them are the one I was looking for, but I really like the look of "The Colors Out My Window" by Gabrielle Story illustrated by Maria Mola.
Artistic temperaments are gonna help everyone in the future, or possibly sooner.
"What type of bitch he is..."
edgarthesifu
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZlkrq-zGIx/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"What do you mean you're failing"
liznicoleee_
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZkVdF1RvMn/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
" From the very moment I was detained..."
hanne_engan
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZgqF_zRHVb/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Monday, June 15, 2026
Oh, if only we could all get the help we need a little bit faster.
I'm too sensitive. I can't deal with people who need to go to therapy because I can't have their childhood traumas poking at me. And I'm not their nanny and I'm not their mom and I'm not whoever else and yes, I have worked with people who projected that kind of thing on to me before. Why is everyone so addicted to putting out products? Why don't you, like, want to heal more stuff first, and put out products later? I think it would be more enjoyable. Also, have you ever heard of going from a lower income bracket to a higher income bracket and being miserable anyway, cuz that's what happened when I was in high school. I mean, it didn't last for very long; as soon as I became a young adult, it was done. And by the way, when I became a young adult they didn't let children stay on their parents insurance until they were like 25 or 26 or whatever, like they do nowadays. And I got the kind of genetics that could have used the good health insurance, and I didn't have it, ever. And other people in my family were sicker than I was.
Learning is good.
I think what makes me happy is being able to enjoy learning experiences.
And part of that is being able to feel relaxed.
And part of being able to feel relaxed is not having to feel like I have to feed someone's ego and repeat old traumas over and over again.
You never know, actually, what makes you feel better, do you?
I gave a good tip to someone who kind of delivered subpar service tonight because part of that was due to circumstances that she wasn't entirely in control of, and I liked the person, and you know what, hard-working immigrants deserve more respect than they get, especially nowadays, even if sometimes the conditions mean that the quality of what you get is not, you know, what the rich people are getting most of the time, I suppose. And I feel like she was happy, and that made me happy. And this song is nice right now: Nimino - "Light Up." And the clouds are pink in the sky.
This is kind of funny, though.
"Ian McKellen says he imagined destroying Mar-a-Lago for new Avengers movie"| Movies | The Guardian
California day includes smoke from a fire.
On a scale of me to the other end of scale with the people who are closer to being like Elon Musk.
Why don't you or they go collaborate with the creepy one because he keeps being too creepy and my mind and body don't feel like dealing with his creepy ways.
I feel like they put in that one part at the end of the recording, because it's like, who are the real looters?
Sublime - "April 29, 1992"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=e1dPKfxRhk0&si=siK2JqMoG0Ci77VL
I'm such a different person than I used to be when I was a 14-year-old and had no idea why there was so much about violence and rioting on the news! Who else is different than they used to be when they were 14 years old?
As a parent...
I also think it's a special time to be simultaneously more Native American and more Caucasian, and I'm glad her higher self appreciates my honesty better than is apparent at this level.
"Shooting Snakes" is an underread story and I'm glad I found it.
"Shooting Snakes" by S. Cokal on JSTOR
https://www.jstor.org/stable/40638382
I'm rereading it and I just split a Goya chocolate pudding with the breadwinner of the casa who never stops working these days and I'm going to eat some beef jerky, too.
Then I saw a can of baked beans in the cupboard. So I can have that with the beef jerky!
Anyways, more light content is coming to the surface as usual.
I remember being a little kid and learning about poison white. Sorry, I mean Snow White and the poison apple, hahaha, funny, anyway, and I remember looking at a picture of it and being like why would she (the witch with the poison apple) be so mean? And I felt like this voice was telling me, you should never kill yourself. You should never kill yourself. Isn't that odd? I wasn't very old. Who reads these stories nowadays?
Oh, I suppose you can argue that she's 21 and not a kid anymore.
"ICE Took Mom and Dad. Now the Perez Kids Are Home Alone. – Mother Jones
Four American siblings left to fend for themselves—and they’re not the only ones."
Samantha Michaels
Turn over a new leaf.
"ICE Took Mom and Dad. Now the Perez Kids Are Home Alone.
Four American siblings left to fend for themselves—and they’re not the only ones."
Samantha Michaels
Honestly, I just have to take better care of my health now.
Honestly, I am just sad. But I must take better care of my health. I can't let all the information that floats around out there as a result of the unwell ways of a Patriarchal Culture be such a detriment to my physical experience in my short time on this planet.
Future DSM Manual diagnosis? "Patriarchal Myopia"
"Those born with certain genetics were more likely to be afflicted with this ailment than others, in that awfully imbalanced and upset by the cult of unwell patriarchical mentalites era. Sadly, it was greatly under diagnosed."
And isn't it amazing how many people The Unwell Patriarchy wants to just drop off the radar instead of speaking up?
But now they're even being terrible to the girls and women with the great (by their standards) genetics. How stupid and sexist and shallow can they be?
What kind of love?
Maybe it's the kind of love where the insecure babysitter who's always trying to align with the richest doesn't have to act like the kids who are the poorest are worthless. It's the love like Jesus would have wanted us to have! Kind of the opposite of the people who are getting rich off of the detention centers where hunger strikes are happening. And also not very much like what the people who are into being shallow and acting like they have to be tools of the patriarchy in order to feel good about themselves are doing.
A much bigger version of love than some people envisioned previously.
I'm just going to have to tap into the power of love!
I think it bears repeating.
Frankly, it seems like The Patriarchy wants women to feel like they have disabilities. It's even penalizing the healthier women now.
The universe needs to show me how I'm supposed to live if I have feel like I have a disability.
Nobody ever said you could check off disability if you had feminine health problems. But they were. So, I either need to figure out how I'm supposed to function and make money with an off and on disability, or I need to figure out what I'm supposed to hell sorry I meant to say heal, so I no longer have the disability. Frankly, it seems like the patriarchy wants women to feel like they have disabilities. It's even penalizing the healthier women now.
The body can be a messenger.
It was painful, but now I realize that choosing healing first is necessary for this type of body before the completion of creative projects can be realized. It was really funny that I got somebody laying out an entire plan for me to do a creative project with art and writing, like creating a children's book that has nature as its focus, and it overwhelmed me to the point where I felt like my body was just throwing up all these weird signals at me. Impossible to ignore.
Do something good with your life today.
Had the beginning of a panic attack start around page 70 and stopped to eat some gluten-free crackers and hummus and take an "Anxio Balance" pill.
"Twenty and Ten by Claire Huchet Bishop" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1069576.Twenty_and_Ten
The scene with the chocolate impacted my life forever.
"Twenty and Ten (1952)" – A Beastiary of Books
"Twenty and Ten" : Claire Huchet Bishop : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
And isn't that a sad little thought.
I bet they'd round you guys up before they'd go after Timothée.
It's fun to be at the beginning of new discoveries!
I wonder if this could be about this, or about this, or...
"The New Adam and Eve"
By Nathaniel Hawthorne
https://utc.iath.virginia.edu/christn/chfinhaf.html
"In this history of horror, the call is coming from inside the house" - The Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/10/21/american-scary-jeremy-dauber-review/
"A.G. Exemplary? Considering the American Gothicism of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 'Alice Doane’s Appeal' and 'Young Goodman Brown'"
"Nathaniel Hawthorne’s American Horror Story" - The Atlantic
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/07/nathaniel-hawthorne-my-kinsman-major-molineux/687311/
Because I don't feel want to feel like I'm psychologically trapped inside of a concentration camp, and I deserve nice things, too.
🙏 I've decided I'm going to get some bodywork done today. Because self-care is very important. Lucky me!!!! 🍀
There's so many people locked away right now who'd be really great at cleaning... 🪣🧽🧙🧹🧙🏾🧼🫧
There but for the grace of whatever (some say 'God') go you, but bless you if you have the patience to deal with this Patriarchal nonsense.
"Christen Goff Says 'Taylor Swift' Got More Women into sports"
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/christen-goff-says-taylor-swift-132401310.html
I think Patriarchy's reign of misery should come to an end now.
Why do some people who are so different from him identify with him?
"Donald Trump's behavior was shaped by his 'sociopath' father, niece writes in bombshell book" | Donald Trump | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jul/07/donald-trump-abuse-father-niece-mary-book
Yeah, that's not a good way to use your money.
It feels like they're buying land and putting up giant, nightmarishly corrupt, bad daycare centers that are going to attract a lot of abusers of children to work in them.
I think some people have soul contracts with each other.
When I felt like my friend who passed away was following me around after she died, that was partially for myself but it was also because I was supposed to say that she had to get away from an abusive situation. Because if I didn't say so, then her child was going to repeat patterns of getting into abusive situations. So I said something and then I stopped feeling like she was following me around all the time and then she came to me in a dream and looked happy and then she probably moved on to a new life. Because when she was alive she told me she had to get away from an abusive situation and we both said to each other that we couldn't tell her child because her child was too young and wouldn't be able to understand it at the time. So it's interesting how that's coming back to me now.
When when when when sounds like win win win?
"How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Adult Obesity"
"Sex abuse victims struggle to lose..."
"Experts see strong link between sexual abuse and obesity"
https://www.syracuse.com/news/2010/07/linking_sexual_abuse_to_obesit.html
That would also be disgusting.
Man, I hope none of those women were in that job just because they wanted to pick up extra cash for some cute outfits.
Do I have high hopes for how children are being treated in facilities run by iCE?
Hahaha. Stupid assholes. It's all a part of a plan to crank out more parentified daughters to take care of everybody else's b*******.
There. They were really oppressed, weren't they?
I believe that some not too smart women who were forced to be babysitters and who shouldn't have been abused me when I was a baby at a military base daycare facility. But also, there were probably some good ones mixed in with the bad ones. That's kind of weird, huh? Patriarchal people are super f***** up in so many ways.
Good job!!!!
"I'm very glad you're taking this time to work on yourself and not needlessly traumatizing the special children."
That's life on a dense planet, sometimes.
I don't even understand why my bad attitude seems to be helping me breathe better now, but anyways.
Yeah, yeah, this is why I'm so glad that you're going to be able to reincarnate. Go buy yourself something.
"I just need you to know that I would rather fit in better and get richer and look like a fatphobic Nazi to a lot of the world's children and future grandchildren then change or waver in my support for any of the 'super unhealthy for people like you' patterns."
Just clearing up some mucus now.
"It's time to get over the vast majority of rich people not wanting to save Anne Frank," and I thought of you.
Carry on, naughty and wonderful lessons.
I'm glad that you and your friends have so many materialistic things to comfort you, as well as the joy of being genetically superior according to a lot of unwell and f'ed up patriarchal standards, because you're the stuff that parentified daughters are made of.
Ever wake up like that and also sad that it feels like you're getting a cold.
Now I gotta yell at rich men and tell them to be nicer to their wife and kids even if their wife and kids weren't all that nice to me. God I hate the selfish rich people, f*** these people. But higher vibrational love is in the air, sir; I'm sure it is. I just want to get through whatever karmic crap I'm supposed to get through and just have a lot more balance and health and wonderful things like that now. Okay, just take care of yourself. Don't let these people get to you anymore. You need to take care of yourself now. You're not supposed to be too much about the rich people. You're not supposed to be too much about the worse off ones, either. You're just supposed to take care of yourself now. Come on, you can do it. Come on. Let's do this. Come on...
Our Divine Lady in Heaven hallowed be thy presence
May God help me develop the understanding and truly healing version self-esteem that passeth all understanding. Yes, many people could have acted better and been nicer. Yes, putting on the CBD cream with a menthol in it is going to make you feel like you can't open your eyes for a while.
Sunday, June 14, 2026
What a good and well-earned yawn. Finally, a yawn!
Today I was adventurous and ventured out but unfortunately I found myself fending off another terrible headache which an ibuprofen did not seem to be able to touch and was able to drive 40+ miles back thanks to a combination of a ginger shot and a turmeric shot (with pineapple juice! always) and a bag of beef jerky and electrolyte water with Himalayan salt. Also, I got a lot of extra encouragement to actively pursue a creative path from an enthusiastic person after I made a donation and perhaps I got overwhelmed by it. There was this whole thing where I felt like I couldn't deal with the rapacious pleasure seeking of the ones the greater culture has been accommodating for so long, and my headache went along with an internal dialogue about how I have health issues and can't work with the people who've helped create the conditions of a society that made my life miserable for so many years and oh my God how often it's felt like they're going to kill us and I'm going to go first. Then, as the pain receded more, I decided I really do want to feel more relaxed than that, and afterall maybe it's better to not get too overwhelmed with what's happening to those who are even more oppressed, because it's not really helping the oppressed when I do that, but maybe if I can pull myself together, I could help some of them more in the future, and now I just had the idea that it's good to take care of your health first, and maybe you'll do some other creative things later. Sometimes there are programs that don't want to quit in parentified daughters and they really are quite something. They can either push people over cliffs or put them on top of mountains, maybe? Maybe now it's better to relax and read a book or two.
"All About Love" by Bell Hooks and "Green Man" by William Anderson.
Harvesting marshmallows looks like fun!
🧑🌾🌱🫖
"Harvesting marshmallows from the garden!"
@fromthegardenchannel
https://youtube.com/shorts/xkpbT4qaR68?si=SKmd3cgKqLsIs7jV
I haven't been gardening much these days, but I can admire plants.
This is the bush.
Sometimes life can get pretty silly and weird, too!
"Googly Eyes Gardener" - Saturday Night Live
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zc7qJE9Nzo8&si=2GcAB1gxajLZG9s3
&
"Weekend Update: Rebecca Larue the Flirting Expert" ~ SNL
I wouldn't have watched "The Lighthouse By The Sea" today if Anne Frank hadn't started her diary on Sunday, June 14th, 1942.
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gmSIJiEU8kY&si=GilyRQ6hMRFxiHVq
"Doughnut Song (Live In San Diego 12/12/07)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=s0rAu3rXpeE&si=NwWCyL3wfBweg2Vp
And I just realized it might be fun to watch more silent films, and to choose your own soundtrack!
"Siren (Live In Detroit 10/27/07)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RgW49Wv8Dp0&si=uBUZrWfexjtCU_wy
I just realized that today is a birthday, too.
"The protesters formed a human banner spelling out 'EPSTEIN' in the outline of a file folder marked 'Trump,' a call for the release of redacted files on convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein that reference the president. Outside the file folder, more protesters held a U.S. flag next to letters spelling 'FILES TO TRIALS.'"
~ Warren Pederson
"Banner of bodies on SF beach sends Trump a pointed birthday warning"
https://www.sfchronicle.com/sf/article/ocean-beach-epstein-trump-protest-22298829.php
So, if she could tell he wasn't safe to be around, why weren't other people also able to tell?
"In an interview with NPR soon after the files were released, French Gates said she was happy to be away from 'all the muck' and that the men involved, including her ex-husband, had to answer for their actions. Why did she decide to speak out then, I ask. 'Well, I had not been silent. I had been asked before what I thought of Epstein, and I had spoken my truth about what I had experienced. He was an abhorrent human being, a horrid man, and so in these situations – this is a hard topic for me, you need to know that – my heart goes out to the young girls,' she says. 'I just spoke the truth, which is they deserve some peace, and they deserve some justice.'"
"The justice system didn’t do its job. It did not do its job. Full stop. Epstein could have been stopped"
"Does she feel frustrated that while many women, including Epstein’s victims, have shown great courage in speaking out, Epstein’s male associates are choosing to stay silent? 'What I know is that bad things happen in darkness. We need to have more transparency,' she replies. French Gates understands better than most the secretive, ultra-rich world that Epstein moved in, and I wonder why she thinks he was able to get away with his crimes for so long. 'The justice system didn’t do its job. It did not do its job. Full stop. This could have been stopped. And so again, I think that’s why, finally, we are having a reckoning in society. If we don’t want children to be harmed, the justice system has to work.' But I ask, the scepticism surely sounding in my voice, are we truly having a reckoning? 'I think that would be a better question to ask the survivors,' she replies.
French Gates has said she met Epstein once and found him so repugnant that she had nightmares afterwards. I ask what had so chilled her. Her demeanour changes rapidly. She looks as if she is about to cry. It is upsetting to witness a woman of such unusual self-possession suddenly lose her poise. She turns away, to look at the lake outside her window, and I can see her attempt to compose herself. 'My heart is racing,' she says after a moment, fluttering her hand over her chest. 'Have you ever in your life been around somebody that you just know is evil?' she asks a moment later. 'There you go. You just have your answer. We need to listen to our feelings about people.'
When she said her heart was racing, was she reliving the gut reaction she had on meeting him? 'I’m done. I can’t do any more questions,' she says. I am watching French Gates, trying to read her reaction, but can sense to my right her comms person, who is listening in, tense and ready herself to end the interview if I push things too far. Then she answers. 'Yes. Any woman who has ever been around somebody who is evil or had an experience and then if you’re around somebody else who is evil. Just no, no.' I notice that while she usually speaks in full sentences, her grammar has broken down. I’m sorry, I say, I can see you’re having a strong – 'Visceral reaction, yes,' she interrupts.
~ Sophie McBain interviews Melinda French Gates
"'Have you ever been around someone you just know...'"
"When women step into their full power, we have a different lens on society. We are the bedrock of society. We are the bedrock of the family."
M. F. Gates
It's good this is not you, but...
"Men don't need to be good at their jobs"
sommertothill
https://youtube.com/shorts/HrMP7q8MPg4?si=D3oKp7peK0rDaTX1
It seems the system trains a lot of guys to be like this. And then it trains other people (both men and women!) to just magically unsee what's going on. Because magically unseeing what's going on is oftentimes what's most beneficial for them in the short term.
IMO the phenomenon of others being able to magically unsee what's going on is a real obstacle when your nervous system won't let you be as good at it as other people are. Other people aren't constantly on the lookout for the ones who are the predators, huh?
And not only looking out for who the predators are going to be, but who are the ones who are going to be making excuses for the predators and letting the predators keep on doing terrible things?
A lot of people who were good at magically unseeing things are now financially set for the rest of their lives and enjoying their retirements.
Anyways, dads whose behavior towards women was casually sexist in the past, who now have daughters or sons, I really do hope your children don't feel the need to metabolize that kind of casual sexism just to ingratiate themselves with you and with certain aspects of our Patriarchal Society.
But you can at least give yourself some props for trying to understand other points of view and maybe have some more thought-provoking conversations than you were encouraged to have in the past.
Did you know ginger is supposed to help with migraine headaches?
This is the raw ginger that I couldn't find for 2 days while I was having the migraine headaches. LOOK WHERE IT WAS.
I miss our old refrigerator which had the freezer on the bottom and the fridge part on top before a power surge killed it. There's a surge protector behind this one now.
I was able to find the powdered ginger.
I'm having an experience with this silent film today.
Anne Frank's 13th birthday film.
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gmSIJiEU8kY&si=GilyRQ6hMRFxiHVq
"Doughnut Song (Live In San Diego 12/12/07)"
Tori Amos
It's time to move on to the next thing now!
I'm really sick of hearing Vishen's voice talking about "the more fat that you carry" because my phone keeps opening that stupid clip again and again.
The internet can be wonderful! I found the Rin Tin Tin film Anne Frank watched on her birthday 84 years ago!
"For her thirteenth birthday, the Jewish diarist Anne Frank watched this film from a rented reel with an early projection machine along with her friends who thoroughly enjoyed it. Frank was a fan of Rin Tin Tin and mentioned this film in her diary in her second entry, on June 14, 1942.[14]"
"The Lighthouse by the Sea" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lighthouse_by_the_Sea
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
But anyways, back to Sunday, June 14th, 1942.
Because my nice grandma was a young person who was alive back then!
"This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good."
Anne Frank on Sunday, June 14th 1942.
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
Good thing it was just acting, huh?
The German Shepherds in the "Escape From Sobibor" movie made me want to throw up.
I'm glad Rin Tin Tin was treated better than the German Shepherds the Nazis had in their concentration camps.
"Susan Orlean on the original Rin Tin Tin"
@newyorker
Am I actually supposed to believe a woman gets smarter if she starts looking more gaunt?
Well, that's a hard pill to swallow. Actually I could find a pill like that quite easily nowadays. I'm just scared it's going to make me have to get my appendix out.
"Anyway please follow"
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I wonder if his rich, fatphobic, Trump-voting friends are still with him on this?
"The Personal Growth Playbook of Donald Trump"
https://blog.mindvalley.com/newsletter-donald-trump/
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
https://youtube.com/shorts/YkKxMMkUij4?si=iRw75sbD3M0X_YcG
This is useful information. Because people who have been discriminated against and locked away are hunger striking right now!
"Anatomy Of A Hunger Strike: Why Is It Done And What Does It Do To The Human Body?"
https://www.rferl.org/a/hunger-strikes-russia/31266830.html
"ICE retaliated against Adelanto hunger strikers, advocates say" - Los Angeles Times
Why is he where he is?
Doesn't Donald Trump need to lose some weight? Speaking of being fat and also being not so smart.
How hilarious is it that a bunch of skinny, wealthy people wanted him to be the one to run things?
Maybe he reminded them of their dads or grandpas or something?
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
Before I find clips of "Rin Tin Tin" to honor Anne Frank starting her diary, I have another thing to mention.
Vishen thinks you become smarter when you lose fat, which is very bad news for a lot of females, including females with perimenopausal and menopausal and post-menopausal bodies. Also, he seems to think fasting is the best way to lose weight, and that does not work equally well with all kinds of bodies.
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
https://youtube.com/shorts/YkKxMMkUij4?si=iRw75sbD3M0X_YcG
"Anyway please follow"
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sunday, Diary-writing Sunday...
I wonder if I can find some clips of "Rin Tin Tin" to commemorate this occasion?
Sunday, June 14, 1942
I'll begin from the moment I got you, the moment I saw you lying on the table among my other birthday presents. (I went along when you were bought, but that doesn't count.)
On Friday, June 12, I was awake at six o'clock, which isn't surprising, since it was my birthday. But I'm not allowed to get up at that hour, so I had to control my curiosity until quarter to seven. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the dining room, where Moortje (the cat) welcomed me by rubbing against my legs.
A little after seven I went to Daddy and Mama and then to the living room to open my presents, and you were the first thing I saw, maybe one of my nicest presents. Then a bouquet of roses, some peonies and a potted plant. From Daddy and Mama I got a blue blouse, a game, a bottle of grape juice, which to my mind tastes a bit like wine (after all, wine is made from grapes), a puzzle, a jar of cold cream, 2.50 guilders and a gift certificate for two books. I got another book as well, Camera Obscura (but Margot already has it, so I exchanged mine for something else), a platter of homemade cookies (which I made myself, of course, since I've become quite an expert at baking cookies), lots of candy and a strawberry tart from Mother. And a letter from Grammy, right on time, but of course that was just a coincidence.
Then Hanneli came to pick me up, and we went to school. During recess I passed out cookies to my teachers and my class, and then it was time to get back to work. I didn't arrive home until five, since I went to gym with the rest of the class. (I'm not allowed to take part because my shoulders and hips tend to get dislocated.) As it was my birthday, I got to decide which game my classmates would play, and I chose volleyball. Afterward they all danced around me in a circle and sang "Happy Birthday." When I got home, Sanne Ledermann was already there. Ilse Wagner, Hanneli Goslar and Jacqueline van Maarsen came home with me after gym, since we're in the same class. Hanneli and Sanne used to be my two best friends. People who saw us together used to say, "There goes Anne, Hanne and Sanne." I only met Jacqueline van Maarsen when I started at the Jewish Lyceum, and now she's my best friend. Ilse is Hanneli's best friend, and Sanne goes to another school and has friends there.
They gave me a beautiful book, Dutch Sagas and Legends, but they gave me Volume II by mistake, so I exchanged two other books for Volume I. Aunt Helene brought me a puzzle, Aunt Stephanie a darling brooch and Aunt Leny a terrific book: Daisy Goes to the Mountains.
This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good.
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
Persecution complex, befuddled.
It's so crazy that I don't know if my past students were more likely to have become persecuted by ICE or the ICE agents themselves. I still feel like it's more likely, generally, to be the former, but I feel also like the latter has also been something that has happened.
But also, I have to apologize for this state of mind that's been emerging lately.
I'm so sorry if my persecution complex has been triggered by all the persecution that's been happening to real people in this era. Those people actually really matter to some kinds of human beings right now.
84 years ago, Anne Frank wrote her first full diary entry on Sunday, June 14th, 1942!
Today is the anniversary of when Anne Frank's diary began in earnest!
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
"Sunday, June 14, 1942
I'll begin from the moment I got you, the moment I saw you lying on the table among my other birthday presents. (I went along when you were bought, but that doesn't count.)
On Friday, June 12, I was awake at six o'clock, which isn't surprising, since it was my birthday. But I'm not allowed to get up at that hour, so I had to control my curiosity until quarter to seven. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the dining room, where Moortje (the cat) welcomed me by rubbing against my legs.
A little after seven I went to Daddy and Mama and then to the living room to open my presents, and you were the first thing I saw, maybe one of my nicest presents. Then a bouquet of roses, some peonies and a potted plant. From Daddy and Mama I got a blue blouse, a game, a bottle of grape juice, which to my mind tastes a bit like wine (after all, wine is made from grapes), a puzzle, a jar of cold cream, 2.50 guilders and a gift certificate for two books. I got another book as well, Camera Obscura (but Margot already has it, so I exchanged mine for something else), a platter of homemade cookies (which I made myself, of course, since I've become quite an expert at baking cookies), lots of candy and a strawberry tart from Mother. And a letter from Grammy, right on time, but of course that was just a coincidence.
Then Hanneli came to pick me up, and we went to school. During recess I passed out cookies to my teachers and my class, and then it was time to get back to work. I didn't arrive home until five, since I went to gym with the rest of the class. (I'm not allowed to take part because my shoulders and hips tend to get dislocated.) As it was my birthday, I got to decide which game my classmates would play, and I chose volleyball. Afterward they all danced around me in a
circle and sang "Happy Birthday." When I got home, Sanne Ledermann was already there. Ilse Wagner, Hanneli Goslar and Jacqueline van Maarsen came home with me after gym, since we're in the same class. Hanneli and Sanne used to be my two best friends. People who saw us together used to say, "There goes Anne, Hanne and Sanne." I only met Jacqueline van Maarsen when I started at the Jewish Lyceum, and now she's my best friend. Ilse is Hanneli's best friend, and Sanne goes to another school and has friends there.
They gave me a beautiful book, Dutch Sagas and Legends, but they gave me Volume II by mistake, so I exchanged two other books for Volume I. Aunt Helene brought me a puzzle, Aunt Stephanie a darling brooch and Aunt Leny a terrific book: Daisy Goes to the Mountains.
This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good."
It is Sunday, and I suppose the average white people are going to continue to love money and what they can own with it above everything else today.
If we got to rendezvous in a coffee shop irl, I could tell you more about my experiences with how liberal white women who haven't healed enough of their internalized misogyny issues to be kind to their own female family members will act like they think that white gay men with money are the peak and pinnacle of their favorite civil rights mission to feel good about. Because they still get to worship white men above everybody else, which is exactly what they were trained to do at a very young age! Duh. Praise their commitment to worshipping white men and their multiple tracts of land and home-owning statuses in a time of great stress and discrimination and upheaval. If you were an old white man who'd owned land and molested children, they definitely would have treated you a lot better, as opposed to a lowly and inferior female living in the kind of body they were taught to discriminate against. All I can say is, the cult truly did its work with them, huh?
Sounds this Sunday morning.
The roosters are crowing. It's good to be a rooster this morning! This is a part of the suburbs that's close to some country areas.
The cat is coughing. Oops, I hope she doesn't have a hairball, but she might.
The freeway is being noisy with trucks and other traffic.
I put on my air purifier because it makes a soft sound that blocks out the freeway noises.
Astonishing, and now I must be raising the shades and looking outside at what beauty nature can share with me today.
"As a product of nature's design, it's just been such a privilege to have been born into the kind of body that makes it really hard for the most Patriarchal people to be able to get along with or understand someone like me. I'm just so complicated for some people. But if I were a simpler man who needed money, who was good at going along with the Patriarchy's rules for getting money, I'd be so, so, so much easier to get along with, huh?! It's really strange and bizarre to know this through my own empirical experiences. Oh my God!!!!"
So far I didn't wake up with a brutal migraine headache today though, so that's great.
Who knows what kind of person I would be today if I hadn't been born with the kind of female body that was susceptible to developing PCOS / female hormone imbalances? Lord, does the shallow and imbalanced Patriarchal Society never stop hating the "different" kinds of women and girls? That's how it feels sometimes, anyways.
Gosh, it's just so very sad what the abusive and uncaring Patriarchal Society has done to some people's brains.
Patriarchy, capitalism, empire and colonialism has warped people's sense of reality.
This is why those relatives who used to seem better and less cruel would choose to go along with some very abusive patterns and abandon you. They were trained to be the tools of a Patriarchal Society which enforces those systems. It feels brutal and unkind and uncaring because it is.
"Anyway please follow..."
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Saturday, June 13, 2026
Sometimes people choose to learn more from experiencing kind of a hard life.
And so, maybe you're supposed to be more spiritual and more friend-oriented, and isn't it funny how other stuff sucks you away from that so easily. But you could be so good at being spiritual and and friend-oriented. Isn't it weird how you could be so good at being spiritual and friend-oriented, but yet, other stuff could still keep sucking you away from those things. Isn't that weird? Isn't it weird to be in a body? Isn't it weird to be in a body that is making you become a certain type of way as a result of the how you were brought up, and the things you saw, and the way the culture is, and more than that, too? I don't know. It's all really strange. It's kind of interesting, though, if you just step back and take a long view of it.
A positive thought about hard situations.
Where there is failure, there is also potential for learning and growth and healing. That's not a lie. Actually, that's very true.
Oh and another almost fun way of looking at it is: you were supposed to fail so you were going to learn more. OR: Of course you were supposed to fail. Because you're supposed to learn more!!!!
My cat's being whiny and sad.
It's because quality of life has gone down recently because of a mental illness called I don't care about anybody's genius anymore. It's not covered by insurance, and to treat it costs too much money and other things, and that is why the muscles of spiritual endurance have to be developed now.
I'll go take my balancing supplements and think about the nice beings on the planet.
Oh, I got the complicated body in this life. Ow, my head again, ow.
"We all know..."
lucasfisher62
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYkj9-yvwL_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I'm going to look at the kitties now. My body's hurting too much lately.
"I believe in equality"
lucasfisher62
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYXrlXyvMdl/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Don't be a tool of the patriarchy.
"Female service members have a separation rate 28% higher than men..."
jyrola
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh0CQsSwoU/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Parents are not very thoughtful sometimes.
"I hope the daughters never see these videos. These reactions are disgusting."
u/Valueable_View_561
This isn't an opportunity to be selfish. It's an opportunity to acknowledge the humanity of fellow human beings.
"'It rips my heart apart': U.S. military veteran calls on ICE to release wife"
Acknowledging when injustice is happening is humane and decent.
"Father of three seized by ICE at FIFA match last summer warns immigrant fans of danger" - France 24
Maybe if people knew it was in their own best interest, they would change.
I'm really disappointed by how stubborn some people can be and I don't think they're acting in their own best interest. Actually, I know they're not.
This is discrimination and her death should not have happened.
"Death of Haitian woman released from ICE custody in Pittsburgh ruled a homicide" - CBS Pittsburgh
https://www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/news/haitian-woman-death-pittsburgh-homicide-ice-custody/
There's been some very terrible surprises as far as discovering who wants to keep on following the old ways.
Thanks to my experiences, I have to be on the lookout for both women and men to see if they are either going to keep on following old patriarchal ways, which have caused me a lot of pain and suffering in this life, or to see if they want to heal patterns of internalized misogyny within themselves and create new and better ways to live life.
I am not here to negate my experiences just so that the old toxic patterns can continue for the benefit of others.
Don't expect me to follow the rules for acquiring a privileged lifestyle when I've seen how harmful those old patterns are to a lot of people.
And a lot of the harm that those rules, which certain people are still completely comfortable following, are causing people, who really do deserve better, is really unnecessary
And I know that following those rules is not what I am supposed to do when I have been shown so much about how they are really bad for Society as a whole, too.
So that's why something better must happen. That's the way Society evolves and changes for the better. It doesn't evolve and change because the people who are comfortable with the way things are just don't change.
I don't know why you'd want to surround yourself with a bunch of people who would have been completely fine with the bad things that were normalized in the past if they had been born back then.
It's just painful.
Is that really the only way?
Why is such and such a habit, which excludes others and pushes them to the outer margins, so important for maintaining such a privileged lifestyle?
This sounds like a good idea. But a lot of people never had it asked of them, so it might be work.
"Ask young adults how life feels, not just what they have achieved."
"What Helps Young Adults Flourish?"| Psychology Today
What a sick headache they are.
People like that are the ones who keep the old bad patterns continuing, and they don't break the patterns, and they completely have had the opportunity to do so, and they were cowards.
Don't expect great things of them! You will be severely disappointed.
"A Test of Conscience: Who Would Betray Anne Frank?"
https://cloakinginequity.com/2025/10/09/would-you-tell-them-where-anne-frank-was-hiding/
But that was not the case was it? No, it was not.
And you'd also think that people who had experienced some bad things themselves would have learned how to have more empathy for others and would have acted like they had it.
Who wants to be a part of that pattern continuing? I don't.
I bet there's people who...I know there's people who ...tried to tell other people about the bad things that happened to them (which takes a lot of courage because you can see how Society doesn't respond well to it ) and then they got shut down and then they stopped and they never tried to tell anybody anymore again and then they just suffered and went crazy.
It's like they're the version of mentally ill that the Patriarchy wants everyone elseto be.
And if there's abuse in your family and if your relatives don't want to acknowledge it, I don't expect how they expect you to act. Everything's fine? I'm so happy to have learned all about your apparent lack of empathy for the less fortunate and to see how your extra strong affinity for houses and money and your abilities for treating white men like they're better than everyone else has led to how poorly you view your fellow human beings! And you even treated the creepy abusive guy like he was better than us too! These were people that I was supposed to trust when I was a little kid. I think that they got warped by a cult. A very twisted version of Christianity warped them. A version that wants grown people to be childish and selfish and materialistic and in denial and discriminatory and untrustworthy. I guess that kind of behavior does something for them. It gives them some kind of happy chemicals in their brains. It makes me think of the banality of evil.
The cat acts like she has some peace in her soul and I wonder why.
I understand why throughout the centuries so many women who were considered witches ended up having an affinity for cats because cats are just so much nicer than a lot of human beings. Including some Patriarchal women and men who apparently got trained by their brothers or fathers to just act like whatever their fathers or brothers wanted them to act like.
It's so easy to find out what's happening in other places these days.
I haven't left the house in 2 days because the PMS and migraines have been rather severe this time around. Now I am very tired. I have to take a break. I'm so tired. I have other tasks here that I need to complete. I'm so tired. Maybe I need another nap. Maybe I should cry. Can I cry? How can I cry?
Actually did leave the house but I forgot. Cuz most of the day I felt unable to leave it.
I guess caring about human rights might have some consequences for some people.
Like the people who are used to sexism being normal.
"Same place. Same pilgrimage. Same religion."
emaansaidso
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZS4_6uos5p/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Lilith sounds like the type who would have liked women.
"they've alllllways been scared"
calebangellen
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXR1lWRifz2/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Stop acting like a bunch of kinds of human beings don't matter to you just because that's what patriarchal society wanted you to do.
South Carolina is not okay.
"Stay safe ladies"
andraberghoff
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZivqyTAAcF/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sigh.
"Compassion is soooo hard. I want to be masculine and mean because that's what the paychecks required. And I am very superficial when I evaluate women's appearances. Especially when it comes to thinking that all women should be exactly as thin as the present day Patriarchal Society wants all women to be. But if I had been born back when the beauty standard preferred fatter women, I would have wanted them to be fatter. Because I'm a little tool and a peon and a lackey and a follower. I mean, I am such a model man of my own culture!"
Stop being a Tool of The Patriarchy!
"Men need to just stop"
valenoffline
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh-rSwB-Db/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I will give them some money for this.
"McDonald's brings back beloved 80s sweet treat"
https://www.masslive.com/food/2026/06/mcdonalds-brings-back-beloved-80s-sweet-treat.html
But anyways, he is the voice of the common people. Or is he...
I think so-and-so should find some men who haven't raised such repressed children in this lifetime and see if those guys will rub off on him.
Do you suppose men are more war-like and violent because they don't get to see enough blood on a regular basis?
"The Four Feathers (2002) Official Trailer #1" - Heath Ledger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JjB6a_Op1bM&si=oVF_3FliNWECWNBK
But if they did see more blood on a regular basis, maybe it would fix something in their brains, at least for some of them?
Glad I got the most out of wearing a white sundress yesterday.
I wonder if the body butter would turn more pink or more brown?
Update: It barely changed color at all. Try again later.
How much of this stuff is left?
Time to mix some in with the body butter!
"Period blood heals wounds TWICE AS FAST"
DITTO - Menstrual Research
You know who else needs land, apparently?
The people who are building the torture centers to imprison a lot of people for no f****** good reason at all need land to build their torture centers on. Have you noticed that?
This is all about bringing partial truths together In service to the greater good of our collective human consciousness!
All I wanted was for us to meet in a coffee shop and talk about how we're never, ever going to have biological children together in this lifetime, and they wouldn't let me!
Suicidal Tendencies -
"Institutionalized"
Gush! Went the unfettered narrative of a particular kind of human experience.
Well, maybe some people's parents were in Auschwitz in their last lives. And that explains why...I mean, that explains a lot...I mean, that might explain some things, these days?
Why do the rich struggle with such concepts if they've not been warped by the patriarchy?
"People in ICE detention struggle to access period products, despite rules to provide them"
https://19thnews.org/2026/02/ice-facilities-federal-prisons-menstrual-products/
The bare minimum! Even that is too much to ask?
Reminding me that the richest are so ladylike and never talk about their periods still.
The blood is back. Maybe the vile migraines will stop now. There were no menstrual cramps this time though. When PCOS met Perimenopause.
I would listen to it.
A song called "I'm so glad Hitler's not alive right now" inducing repetitive waves of joy from the side that usually feels nothing.
What about a Parentified Daughter Oldest Sibling music channel?
Hmmm? 💽
"Cigarette Mom Rock is the new trend"
fm99wnor
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUUDyGllFu0/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Apocalypse" - Cigarettes After Sex
After my vegan meal of hummus on gluten-free crackers with parsley
I had mashed raspberries mixed with chia seeds on a gluten-free cracker. Because one of the containers of raspberries from the discount grocery store was so rotten I probably have to throw it away because the receipt got lost but the other container only had like one bad raspberry in it. But since they were so mushy I decided to make chia seed raspberry jam.
Most of the headache is gone. The shades are up.
I was thinking about this dramatic movie I never saw.
"The Four Feathers (2002) Official Trailer #1" - Heath Ledger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JjB6a_Op1bM&si=oVF_3FliNWECWNBK
I don't know why; it just came to me for some reason.
I understand we're all going at our own paces.
I understand that not everyone can handle this level of excitement. I wasn't handling it very well, either. Gee Golly Gosh. Even now I'm teetering on the edge of wanting to throw up, but you know what, I'm going to deal with it. And the icky pain that starts to go away but kind of lingers...Yep, dealing with that too. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful beautiful.
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