Wednesday, April 08, 2026

Maybe I have thoughts about hearts.

You know how some people have a lot of different sides and moods... What if sometimes you feel a heart but then you on purpose fon't want to click on a heart because you're like wait a second if I was like somebody in a band and I'd been jamming with people for years and if I didn't click on a heart it would be like, no big deal, right?

I sometimes think people who are too nice stop the insanity are literally the most insane ones.

Did you hear what happened to this kid named JJ on his birthday? 

"Her mind was made up on the morning of Oct. 14, 2024: For the sake of her 14-year-old son, JJ, she needed to ask her doctor for an abortion to protect her health. 

'Wouldn’t you think it would be better for me to not have the baby?' she asked a physician at Methodist Hospital Northeast near San Antonio, according to her aunt. Just a few years earlier, Walker had developed a dangerous case of preeclampsia that had led to the stillbirth of her twins.

But the doctor, her family said, told her what many other medical providers would say in the weeks that followed: There was no emergency; nothing was wrong with her pregnancy, only her health. 

Just after Christmas, on his birthday, JJ found his mom draped over her bed, lifeless. An autopsy would later confirm what she had feared: Preeclampsia killed her at 20 weeks pregnant."

~ Kavitha Surana and Lizzie Presser, photography by Lexi Parra for ProPublica

"In Texas, Tierra Walker Wasn’t Offered an Abortion Before a High-risk Pregnancy Killed Her"

https://www.propublica.org/article/texas-abortion-ban-tierra-walker-preeclampsia

I live with somebody who used to be called JJ when he was a little kid.

Tax Dollars! SIGH.


 What if the worst are doing the worst with them.

Hopefully they have TVs in the detention centers.

So all the dads and moms and kids and babies can feel the warmth.

"Zach Braff Calls the New 'Scrubs' Revival 'A Warm Hug'" | New Jersey Monthly

https://njmonthly.com/articles/arts-entertainment/zach-braff-calls-the-new-scrubs-revival-a-warm-hug-for-people/

I'm just a conduit of advice for the willing and able-bodied manservants of The Lord.

Apparently it's easier for the new mothers to ward off bad moods if they don't have to breastfeed and if they have extra help?

"Delivered one week ago - my number one piece of advice"

https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/comments/vcgcqx/delivered_one_week_ago_my_number_one_piece_of/

I am not claiming that this is the most mature way. It's probably not.

"I know, but I'm bored now,so it looks like I probably will. - Derry Girls"| Clip.Cafe

https://clip.cafe/derry-girls-2018/i-know-im-bored-now-so-looks-like-i-probably-will/?srsltid=AfmBOorRaVfmDVm2XE4lQfwZcPWmvs-ldoSh1doQ81DLr3jXXdydCG8k

Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers - "Into The Great Wide Open"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xqmFxgEGKH0&si=0OEo2W5PDZb-EaYx

Was I gathering data?

Can I actually believe I ever lived in other ways in other places, like that was the most normal thing in the world to be doing at the time.

The universe is being...thorough?

In a way, perhaps it is as if a colonic is being administered.

Actually the dream was worse than I described.

Because it also involved multiple instances of expecting Mean Man to show his nice side, multiple times, in multiple scenarios, and constantly getting the Mean Man treatment, and everyone else on the whole estate was always going along with it, too! Ugh! Death. I don't need to remember all the details. The message was received adequately.

We really need our creative people to share their talents.

I am still highly impressed! It's just that there's also  a lot of extra information to consider. It's creating a weird mood.

'Have you heard? The Lord has agreed to let me pick my own ladies."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, he decided it was for the best."

Just for fun in these weird and atrocious times...

 More to kvetch about.

"How young would men date if it was legal?"

mayorhaley

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWzdd0wCVco/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Sounds like she also wants to consider the health of others and knows how to act like it.

"So the doctor, who describes herself as 'individually pro-life,' added medication abortions to Marquette Medical Urgent Care's already busy practice, which treats a steady flow of kids with the flu, college students with migraines, and tourists with skiing injuries.

At least 38 abortion clinics shut down last year in states where they're still legal, according to data collected by I Need an A, a project supported by a number of nonprofits that helps people find abortion options.

Even states that recently passed constitutional amendments protecting abortion rights, such as Michigan, have had clinics close since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022. And as rural hospitals shutter labor and delivery units, patients are losing access to pregnancy care. 'You cannot have a high-risk pregnancy up here,' Brown said. 'It's a scary place.'

Now communities are coming up with alternatives, such as Brown's urgent care clinic."

~ Kate Wells

https://www.npr.org/2026/04/08/nx-s1-5773333/planned-parenthood-urgent-care-medication-abortion-rural

I think that's not what I am supposed to do for my health in this life.

I might get better at some kinds of exercise for the health of my body, and it may look different in the future, but I am not changing just so some very hurtful, untrustworthy and insensitive women or men, who got trained by Patriarchal Culture to act like they are huge haters of certain kinds of girls and women, find me to be more aligned with their acquired tastes / fit in better with their personal preferences and lifestyle choices.

If I had their genes, I hope I wouldn't replicate some of their sexist behavior patterns.

I am sick and tired of multiple kinds people acting like sociopathically insensitive jerks to others as if that's the actual best they could do with their circumstances in this life.

Tuesday, April 07, 2026

I fell asleep and I had a very bad dream.

I fell asleep and I had a very bad dream that I was in a place that was like the House of Patriarchy and somebody was really mean to me. Guess who. 

He was extremely mean. Extremely cold. And he was not going to talk about it. I was really at a disadvantage in this dream. 

I leaned forward. I bit him on the nose. And the nose was made of silly putty and then I put the piece I bit off back on his nose again. And I told him he was mean.

He listened, and he did not disagree and he did not apologize. He was so mean.

It was so bad. 

And then I wandered around this estate and I was supposed to hang out with other people instead. But I still hadn't had a good conversation with him about why was he needing to be so mean and I didn't know how to make it happen because it was clear he didn't want to talk about it.

Why did that dream have to be so bad? 

I feel inspired to finally finish watching "The Swedish Connection" movie. Instead of being so narcoleptic when I put it on in front of me.

"Children’s Entertainer Ms. Rachel Calls for Closure of Texas ICE Facility"| Military.com

https://www.military.com/feature/2026/04/03/childrens-entertainer-ms-rachel-calls-closure-of-texas-ice-facility.html

A spectrum of three!

 It's all about what the world makes us experience  sometimes.

"We didn't ask you..."

strutbridal

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUOb6a7AZzE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

"In my garlic era"

gowneyedgirl

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWPIoMvDGwD/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

"He loves it"

gusbepoopin

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW1nj2fiWnU/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Shades of Statue of Liberty green?


The bird bath is not very popular with the birds, but it's fun to put a little fountain in the middle of it.

Maybe that's what the universe has wanted from a lot of other people, too, for a while.

Maybe the universe wants me to heal from trauma more, find more ways to feel a lot healthier in the body and genetics I got, and get more creatively expressive.

What other societal standards might have a lasting psychological impact on people...

 Is something else I thought about after I saw this...


"u wasn't with me shooting in the gym"

wealthylauren_

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV7EtK6Ed_s/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Nature notes on the cat.

Apparently my cat was very still for a great portion of the day and hung out in the corner of a yard watching things. Meditating maybe. Then I came home and she got curious about food. Then I fed her some food and she rejected it and ran around outside energetically, and then she came back inside and liked her food after she had energized herself.

Wow, the month of the May looks really pretty.

 And ethereal.



Make better decisions in the future.

Also, Trump voters, in addition to the immigrants that you don't seem to care about very much, Trump really does not care about you.

This is a life lesson.

People who have studied how to make more money and have degrees in accounting still don't know what they're doing sometimes.

One person who got paid didn't know what to do with taxes but was able to complete some of the bookkeeping.

Another person who got paid and seemed to have more knowledge about taxes said that fees would be accounted for on the 1099K and that is not so; that form only has the gross amounts of sales.

Taxes...interesting...

Side business this year versus side business last year. Paid people who didn't really know what to do with the situation last year versus doing it on your own this year. Definitely didn't make a profit last year. Actually might have made a profit this year...Just don't mess up the taxes. They'll make you pay it all back with interest if you do. Don't mess up the taxes...

She should have brought a jacket.

He should have brought a beanie.

"SNL Weekend Update: A Guy and His Girlfriend Who’s Always Cold"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kMQR3oRTu28&si=-NtQmu9wnFRZpmHF

Six years old. But it's new to me. To me. Me! To me.

Lana Del Rey - "Doin' Time"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=qolmz4FlnZ0&si=03xIas-pt19ho0Aj

You exist to oppress oppressed men don't you.

Duh. Bunch of songs on the radio. Men exist to save underage prostitutes from their terrible families and then get ungratefully rejected for their heroism.

Sublime - "Doin' Time (Official Video)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2yT8RsCarJA&si=SmEs1Td6znG570ka

Sublime - "Wrong Way"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=uLifSFBs_Lk&si=WpObR_JqgzWuQ5uk

La la la...

It's good to be scared. It means you have a pulse, and you're not a cat. They're way too relaxed. It's good to be scared. Why wouldn't you be; you're not a narcissistic sociopath. That's one real good reason.

Tom Petty - "It's Good To Be King [Official Music Video]"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2SF1iLXSQto&si=DRHdA0UxdRE0d1y5

Pink satin gown.

Dressing up as a princess in a maternity night gown at age four...



Sigh...

Maybe just pray for the emotionally stunted and inarticulate and their addictions to strange ways. Bless their hearts.

Even though it already happened...

I dread the feeling of something's going to get too mean for somebody day, and I can't believe how some people, like the ones who need you to tell them they're so nice, can be. Maybe this is why being somewhat unfortunate feels better.

Monday, April 06, 2026

What kind of butterfly do they look like?

Like the Midwestern men of few words who hunker down and don't talk much...sometimes the antisocial brotherly personality has the power.

The vegetables were calling...

I had a very focused on vegetables trip to the store and I didn't really even want desserts at all and it's kind of strange and weird. But then again I've had this happen before. I've had months of focusing vegetables and avoiding sugar in other years. It's happened before. I can't tell if that's exactly what this is though.

This day flew by.

It went by four times faster than normal, perhaps.

"Love Of The Loveless"

EELS

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FaTjOGZxAG4&si=fsJkg9itm-t9OmJ1

This is a joke ...

Pampered Grandoffspring #1: "My revered genius ancestors knew they would rather fling people who have never met actually one another into arranged marriages again than feel too horribly about what was happening to the poor, disenfranchised ones who didn't have...abundance? The right mindsets."

Pampered Grandoffspring #2: "Quite so; dedicating too much thought to those kinds of people was madness; it made crazy old Grandmama feel so unabundant!"

I feel like if more of the adult population's inner children were healed, then this kind of thing wouldn't also be happening right now?

"ICE Has Detained 6,200+ Kids in Trump’s Second Term, Up 10x Since Biden Left Office. 

Advocates warn trauma from detentions will cause kids lifelong damage."

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2026/04/06/ice-kids-detention-over-6200-trump

Actually, I just noticed that today is a birth day.

¡Cumpleaños feliz!

PinkNews - Today (6 April) marks the birthday of

https://www.facebook.com/pinknews/posts/today-6-april-marks-the-birthday-of-american-actor-and-filmmaker-zach-braff-best/1381126784059039/

Cat is not normally on the table when I eat.

But she jumped in the picture and it seemed picturesque. Nature is in control of the cat.

I think I'll just post about food.

 Or spices.


This is a good one, too!

SAIL - "AWOLNATION (Unofficial Video)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=JaAWdljhD5o&si=SjlNbu9RKeuN1boY

I'm sure simpler is better most of the time.

I don't recommend my way of life to other people, but I do have to respect that I have experienced my life in the way that I've experienced it.

Cooperated on opening a bottle of cranberry juice.

The cap was very, very stubborn to get off the bottle. My hands couldn't open it; banging a knife on it didn't help. A man's hands seemed like they also couldn't open it. So I said I would pour hot water on it and then I took it away but then I opened it. I said thank you because his hands loosened the cap. And then my hands opened it. So that's how it went. And I'm the only one who drinks it, so I drank it straight out of the bottle before putting it back in the fridge. Like some brothers would do in a commercial about orange juice.

I live with a good person with good taste in music.

And he's been the first one to introduce me to a lot of really cool songs.

Corb Lund - "Horse Soldier! Horse Soldier! (video)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EIWINsaEpnw&si=z8O6wxdKXoKmCZrv

He's just not into cooking or dancing or yoga. And I used to live far away from him and he said he would go to a yoga class when I lived far away from him and he never did. And it's a big joke and sometimes it feels like that's how some people in some circles get status and power, is they say they're not going to do something, and everybody just smiles and laughs and says oh yeah, men aren't into that kind of thing, and I just can't accept that's the highest bar for men for the rest of my life. I'm sure it's very complicated and it could have something to do with having to work really hard in a society that caters more to other groups of people. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's just kind of ridiculous to accept that it is enough. It's also the opposite of life affirming, and too stifling. And it's very sad, and sometimes people don't get that things can be different unless they get to experience a new experience. On the other hand, I wouldn't want someone to force me to go on roller coasters because it feels like that's not good for me  or my cortisol levels right now. I mean, I did like roller coasters more when I was younger, but I wouldn't want to go on a roller coaster now. So I understand that you have to be respectful. But I don't think it's disrespectful to think that yoga or cooking or dance is something that can be enjoyed with other people. I think those things are a lot safer for my body than roller coasters. But he would probably like to find people to go on roller coasters with. He probably would enjoy more roller coaster rides.

Feels like I have some conviction.

I feel like more adults are getting into helping themselves, and helping their inner children.

"Kids" ~ Sleigh Bells

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Dvvdml84wvc&si=O7_BBb5vs466Fd2D

Make things make sense?

A kind of driving around song from a certain time in my life when I was living in a certain area is coming back to me lately.

Ekova ~ "In My Prime"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ruAAVKlrlPk&si=P64pw3Ar5E4T3oFU

That's so grounding to think about.

I think you should go somewhere not fancy and eat a sandwich and maybe I'll eat a sandwich at that place too and maybe we'll be eating the same sandwich at the same table and maybe that's what will happen. Except it doesn't have to be the same sandwich. I can have a different sandwich actually. Sorry. I almost forgot that detail. Then if the mouths are chewing, they don't even have to talk that much if they don't want to, too. Or maybe it will not even be an indoor thing. Maybe it'll be an outdoor thing.

Not all cats use their brains in the same ways.

For example, the cat that we have now is the best, but at the same time she just kind of does what she wants and is not very rational about it. 

Like if she brings something in and we pick it up and take it out, she goes back and looks for it in the spot where it used to be, because she wants it to be there, so she goes back there and looks for it. And she really enjoys herself while she's doing that too.

We put the prey in a dust pan right in front of her to take it out to the yard to let it go on the other side of the wall, but she decided to ignore that because she wants to keep on playing with the prey. The lizards are more likely to survive, and that's what she usually catches, instead of birds. But she caught two birds recently. 

Also, I think when people say that cats bring in their little prey to you as gifts, they're kind of just being nice about it, and it's actually like, the cat's being a lot more selfish than that.

I haven't watched the Thoreau documentary yet because I'm trying to get through a movie.

It's the Swedish film that's sort of like if "The Big Short" met another film about Nazis and they decided to do a tango together, and I keep falling asleep when I'm watching it, but I can get through, like, 20 - 40 minutes of it at a time.

"The Swedish Connection – Official Trailer"| English

https://youtube.com/watch?v=rczBnGHdKKs&si=sszvO6oeDA4_3SSV

It's an optimal time to pay closer attention to that, and to their muscles.

"The reason why I act this way is because I was trained to act this way, and I get far more rewarded for acting this way than I would if I had acted in another way."

I don't know how many of these were children, but anyways, some of them were parents.

"ICE arrests in DC region amount to nearly 20,000 during Trump's second term"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2026/04/06/ice-arrests-dc-maryland-virginia-surge/

I bet she was a baby once! Where's her mom now?

"ICE Agents Detain Newlywed Spouse of Soldier Training to Deploy' - The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/05/us/ice-detains-military-wife-soldier-deployment.html

You might have to build up your self-esteem without getting pregnant in your next life.

Or your kids or your grandkids might have to.

Because your kids don't actually have your genetics. They have their own genetics. 

So, hopefully you'll be less under the influence of the child-bearing Nazis with them, but that remains to be seen.

Anyways, my loyal cat accompanied me as I ate some cake and chips to fulfill the aesthetic.

And now I'm going to wait until the morning so a man can help me open the super tight top to a unsweetened cranberry juice.

Anyways, being an English major and reading more was a good choice.

Take your pilgrimages! 

"The Canterbury Tales: General Prologue"

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43926/the-canterbury-tales-general-prologue

Chaos!

Things are actually really disorderly'd up!


Anyways, this is like, why people need to find the activities that help them just live in the moment  and enjoy life more, huh?

Why aren't they better yet? Perhaps it's time to stop looking at them so much.

Disenfranchised grief confuses some people. It does not meet their needs and expectations. Many adults are like needy children and some children are not that nice or perceptive when it comes to people who are different from themselves. But some are. But a lot of times, that's not what a wounded society wants more of, so that's why you're getting the ice cream cone fell on the sidewalk feeling, again. The cake dropped on the floor feeling, again. Holes in the clothes eliciting jeers instead of more empathy from others feeling, again. Cold hearts and small minds and sick silences have had their ways...

Sunday, April 05, 2026

Good, blessed solitude, but also, supposed to change sometimes.

I feel I tried very hard to prevent people from dying before they should have died in the 2000s and that's how it was. I think people who have experiences like that might be marked by them for life. But it's still interesting to see how differently people deal with their circumstances...

Let's make a transition from a moment into another moment...

It's not really like this life...


It just sort of reminds me a little bit of it.

Howards End (1992) | "'Intro to the House"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_3mAR3ynC2I&si=XlInnD0uxIuTH1py




It's the garden!

 


I get to walk around an old neighborhood I used to live in.

All kinds of flowers I used to take pictures of to ID for horticulture classes are blooming. The mountains look good; there's lots of green growing over them and not so burnt up now.

This was so funny to me. My stomach hurt.

"18th century rich people..."

tetyanawrites

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWxBY-6pdnl/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

I got weird looks. Then, concessions about how much fun it would be to be a garden hermit. A garden hermit with internet connection.

This is an interesting part of the region. It's got streets that take you from lower to middle class all the way up to the super rich people and so you can make that journey in about a mile or less.

Spiritually guided...

Maybe I'll become the kind of person who goes to the Patton Memorial and counts prayer beads and burns incense to wish his soul's growth well in becoming a better person, possibly in a more feminine body. And he died a long time ago. He could have become a lot of different kinds of people by now.

I have avoided Patton very scrupulously, and today is the first time I read very much about his wife, who had an interesting personality.

"General Patton’s Second in Command"

https://ladyofthearmy.com/2022/03/08/general-pattons-second-in-command/

Banging on a xylophone is a work of genius.

I guess I get to know more about how society intersects with creativity can be really ridiculous now.

Strange times...

 Salty cowboy.


"I can guarantee that most of these men..."

wiscocowboy1

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWr8iQSkQ-m/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

X to Y: Hey, so you know how you're not an organ donor?

Y to X: I should probably change that. My thinking has changed on that.

Perhaps I can go on a little vacation soon...

I wouldn't be surprised if, in another world, different kinds of actions and behavior patterns look like they have a certain kind of music to them, which people on planet Earth can't necessarily hear.

Sure, it's entirely possible.

Fewer people will slip through the cracks in the future and it won't be because one particular person has to save another particular person. It's because people will know how to work together cooperatively and combine their talents and then that other person who's having the extra challenge or illness or trauma from assault or childhood molestation or whatever won't have to be the one who gets outcast.

Maybe the wiser ones will still be help humanity get to the next level.

I'm not saying that I have all the knowledge that others have or that people always have to be perfect paragons of emotional maturity, but really.

Who do I think creates a lot of extra work for children to do?

Emotionally immature parents, and emotionally immature people who are not parents, but who are adults who should know better, but don't, or just don't want to.

"ICE Arrests in Texas Leave Children to Raise Their Siblings"

Is it really for the best to be quite so myopic and indifferent towards "others" just to survive a certain kind of society in a particular era?

"Letter: An ICE detention facility doesn’t belong in a ‘family-friendly’ state"

https://www.sltrib.com/opinion/letters/2026/04/05/letter-utah-cannot-be-family/

Ancestral rage.

 


"Why I hate the Czech Easter tradition"

~ Lucie Ell

https://youtu.be/0d0GAGFkpcM?si=dW1fDxZpscPbfoSX

Exultant Emotionally Elevated Ēostre

"Ēostre"- Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre

If so inclined, let's do Pilates and Yoga for the health and well-being our specially interconnected parts, and not to feed the egos of the insecure and insensitive mean people.

"Why the Manosphere love Pilates girls 🎀💪💊"

BryonyClaire

https://youtube.com/watch?v=W8KWmVcnflY&si=Hg6hbXa7bfhu8hCp

"We need justice ⚖️"

sarah_olivia_rose

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWq7ALMiBvo/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Saturday, April 04, 2026

Some people think way more about Lords; more than they think about Jesus, don't they?

Oh my gosh, I guess Jesus just loved the "others" and wanted to heal the sick too much for some people. Oops, that must have been some of the religious programming that got drummed into me at an incredibly young age coming out.

Just something else to complain about, on this journey of growing as a human being in a patriarchal society.

It must be difficult to struggle with the addiction to needing validation so badly. And also a bunch of emotionally mutilated people who couldn't bring themselves to be articulate about being sorry that abuse happened in the family are also totally the kind that are going to fawn over the talented and favored by the patriarchy celebrities aren't they? Yeah, I think so. They just want a shortcut and they just want to feel good and they don't want to grow up.

Don't be like the artistic version of Patton.

Like maybe your grandkids will be more sensitive  to the existence of other kinds of people and what they are going through but you don't have to be so overly patriarchal in your execution of your talents.

When it comes to the point the point where I feel like I have to start chewing on my fingers again and clothes again, that's not a good sign.

Quit repeating the habits that are harmful just because that's exactly what patriarchal culture wants you to do.

Is quieter charming? Well, I guess that depends on the point of view.

"After the Minnesota surge, ICE is moving to a quieter enforcement approach : NPR"

https://www.npr.org/2026/04/04/nx-s1-5768273/after-minnesota-ice-surge-shift-to-quieter-enforcement


Okay, I'm going to go out and eat Mexican food.

Do you really want to be in a movie called "How you can tell that the shallow, selfish white people want everyone who's not like them to just die, and they're also training their children to act like that's a totally normal way to live life, too."

Actually it might be Mexican / Lebanese fusion. Which is sort of like Mediterranean and Mexican fusion.

A natural high, though.

Make good use of the energy and do some calisthenics?

This is the brain on getting nostalgic about moments of youthful exuberance in other regions of the country.

Bruce Springsteen - "Glory Days (Official Video)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM&si=48lqfMBuHnYpHNtk

Never mind. I actually had to look at this instead.

"Wind driven brush fire spreading over 4,100 acres..."

https://ktla.com/news/inland-empire/firefighters-battling-brush-fire-in-moreno-valley/

ADD! SO freeing.

I'm not sure if I can complete my Easter Sale shopping transaction because now I'm looking up pools on Swimply.

Oh well; back to Russian music.🎶

And spearmint tea with inositol powder sneakily slipped in.

If I were there again, I hope I would force my exhausted body upstairs and swim in that pool!

"Anyone else love swimming pools?"

helloterumi

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBKPr0GxSnu/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

"The 14th story pool in the InterContinental Chicago"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ArchitecturePorn/s/jdWOG3Y1ay

The only place I ever tried caviar still has caviar.

High Tea in Chicago | Russian Tea Time – Chicago, IL

https://www.russianteatime.com/

It was a different price in the 2000s. That was good for the people who paid for it.

"Zukerman and Perlman display their reliable excellence" – Chicago Tribune

https://www.chicagotribune.com/2006/05/05/zukerman-and-perlman-display-their-reliable-excellence/

I guess it's time to take an opportunity to cultivate an abundance mindset.

Lots of beautiful dark eyes on the BloomChic website. And there's an Easter sale going on.

Ivan Rebroff - "Les yeux noirs (Otschi Kornia)"

https://youtu.be/6JPUJFP_-EE?si=GeOWW4uucBZH_Z2v

Size 10 people can shop there, too!

People need to talk about isolation.

Isn't it isolating being a creative genius? Want to talk about that? No? Okay. Well, I guess I'm going to do some shopping! Probably get some tax money back.

Do people need to talk about death.

Cat normally leaves the things outside alone and is slow and well fed but lately she's become a Mighty Hunter and it's kind of horrifying. Maybe it's time to build a catio?

Taking a break from looking at warmer weather clothes...

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/Mh394K1knn

I feel happily and pleasantly educated.

Because I had an educational massage therapy session. And the reason why it was educational was the therapist was working with spots that are  connected with the piriformis muscle and they were tight and painful. But she said 

"On a scale of one to five, I want it to be a three."

😊

And then, when it was a three, she would press into it and she would stretch my leg and she would say: "Breathe. Don't forget to breathe."

It really helped!

Also, lying on a heated table and getting some icy hot lotion applied on the back at the end of the session was good.

Someone should make a movie out of this book. Or this kind of a story.

"Retro Friday Review: Goodbye Pink Pig by C.S. Adler"

http://www.angie-ville.com/2010/11/retro-friday-review-goodbye-pink-pig-by.html?m=1

Angels! Angels.

Some have dressed themselves as the wraggle taggle gypsies in this life, but who knows better...

"The Raggle Taggle Gypsy" - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raggle_Taggle_Gypsy

Liked this elementary school musical propaganda! It was very fun to sing. 

Sometimes shopping for clothes on a Saturday takes a turn...

Sara Bareilles - "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Live from Atlanta)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ozd2ja7mAgM&si=VHuFW7eGJO7KZDCQ

That's a nice dress, but now I also have to get at least three different kinds of comfortable but intriguingly textured blouses which I will probably wear a lot more often...

Sufjan Stevens x Kylie Minogue - "Can't Get Video Games Out of My Head [MASHUP]"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aT-IDHPYSQ8&si=8_4BcNBHo4pvnfFB


That was entertaining. 🐦‍⬛

I heard a meow and a striped cat was outside the door and my cat was inside hiding from it instead of trying to fight it and then the outside cat ran away and climbed on top of the fence and then a black bird swooped down really close to the cat on the fence and it jumped away.

That's nice for my nervous system.

Actually, I'm thinking about happy dogs running around people's legs.

Tambien (Weird, it rhymes with Ambien, which I'm not going to take, and I don't have.)

"Happy Books and a Sad Life—Lucy Maud Montgomery"

https://teacupsandtyrants.com/2021/11/28/happy-books-and-a-sad-life-lucy-maud-montgomery/

Pobrecita escritora.

"Violette Leduc: the great French feminist writer we need to remember" | Books | The Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/apr/07/violette-leduc-the-great-french-feminist-writer-we-need-to-remember


Must respect the nervous system more again now.

I will be (need to be) better at letting my body know that it deserves a very chill and calm day.

Okay, just chill out. It's fine.

"432 Hz Temple Bell Meditation – 30 minutes no talking"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=keoC-poCEwA&si=r3mL5ecLal8-vmAj

I got an idea! I think it's a good one because it made me look up pictures that amuse me.

Why don't the troubadours write some songs about their feet now?

Creative Project Man.

Creative projects, man.

JOHNNY RIVERS - "Secret Agent  Man 1966"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4&si=4vlIMBkNMxcPrf0l

🎶🎸🎶🎺🎶🪕🎶

I would also like to see Eureka!

Sara Bareilles - "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Live from Atlanta)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ozd2ja7mAgM&si=VHuFW7eGJO7KZDCQ

Very animated; I think she's an extroverted person.

"Congratulations Sister Michael"

BuyVictoriaScott

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkr4dHvJ/

You know what you can do with your life when you get more 💸 in it?

🐬You can lose more weight from certain parts of your body and not the other parts! 🙀 Katy Keene reminded me; it's not my fault.💃🏻

"Katy Keene Comics Vol. 1 (1949-1961) : MLJ/Archie Comics : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive"

https://archive.org/details/KatyKeeneComicsVol11949-1961/01%20-%20Katy%20Keene%20%231%20%281949%29/mode/1up

Ēostre is almost here.

It will be interesting to see what Ēostre is like this year.🌷🌸🌹🌺🌻🌼🪷❇️ 

"Ēostre" - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre

Kinda feel like regressing...

Kind of already miss being more stuck in a state of terror, like I was not so long ago. I think that's actually not as uncommon of an experience as people might pretend it is...


I used to look at the 1980s versions of these on summer vacations...Wow! So much free access to stories with the internet.

"Katy Keene Comics Vol. 1 (1949-1961) : MLJ/Archie Comics : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive"

https://archive.org/details/KatyKeeneComicsVol11949-1961/01%20-%20Katy%20Keene%20%231%20%281949%29/mode/1up

Anyways, I guess things are going okay.

Some people just signed up to  have a stranger journey on a path to intimacy than others.

This character. LOL!

This character does not act like Violet the Duke! I think this character is like, what could happen if Violet the Duke didn't have an abortion. Especially if she had unprotected sex with a favored male writer she'd been fawning over.

"New Girlfriend" - SNL

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0EqINqnEa-Y&si=lOAL5VUnic5nY2_6

I guess he served his purpose.

If Simone de Beauvoir's father's behavior resulted in her being more thoughtful, more introspective, and more helpful when it came to handling the difficult personality of a bastard child like Violette LeDuc.

I'll just talk to my cat about what your parents did.

Next time the whole,"But it's so hard to be good to certain kinds of people" issue flares up again.

Are you really ready?

Are you in that "Going from a size 10 to down to a size 2" frame of mind?

Actually we really do have to take better care...

My body's gotten very sensitive and my health in jeopardy again. Sigh. I hope tea helps. Maybe sometimes it's better just to calm things down instead of try to raise the issues.

Probably time to whine some more soon.

Hopefully, the wine of our friendship will just keep building and building!

Oh, the universe is so good!

"Being more thirsty is more sexy! And now you're stuck in a place for a good reason. I wonder what that could be?"

Time to build very new rituals.

"You are a very bad friend to a lot of kinds of girls and women when you get put in certain situations." "But we can probably blame The Patriarchy." " It's been traumatizing." " "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it."

Doggedly ignorant of the disenfranchised...

Don't really know if they really are all that blessed. Especially when they're very clearly needing so much attention, and they act so utterly uninterested in knowing more about others that it seems they must be scared to know too much, for some reason?

Friday, April 03, 2026

Let that be a lesson...

It's kind of weird that people keep telling me that I seem like I'm doing better and I look healthier when I currently weigh more than I've ever weighed in my entire life. Perhaps health is more nuanced and complicated than we've been led to believe. I think it could be so.

How I feel about looking at dresses...

"I know, but I'm bored now,so it looks like I probably will." - Derry Girls | Clip.Cafe

https://clip.cafe/derry-girls-2018/i-know-im-bored-now-so-looks-like-i-probably-will/?srsltid=AfmBOorRaVfmDVm2XE4lQfwZcPWmvs-ldoSh1doQ81DLr3jXXdydCG8k

This scene made me remember I want to visit Prince Edward Island.

 

Someday!

Mourning is a part of life even if you think people can come back and do things better.

I had to put a wounded or dead bird on the other side of the wall and it made me think about humans being very fragile and then the mourning feelings came back and then I went to the park to visit the flowers.

It's quite tragic that this still happens so often.

Also, the freeze out response is not exactly impressive, either.


"When women disclose abuse..."

drjesstaylor

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWoADMSK5MM/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Nature's nice sometimes.

"The art of sunbathing and birdwatching"

heyitsbanesa

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWCqYwgDpCP/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Maybe I'll be able to get better acquainted with etymology this weekend!

I love etymology!

"Ēostre" - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre

 neopaganism.

Name

Etymology

The theonym has been reconstructed as *Ēastre (Old English), *Ôstara (Old High German) and *Āsteron (Old Saxon).[4][5] These are cognates – linguistic siblings stemming from a common origin. They derive from the Proto-Germanic theonym Austrō(n),[4][5] itself a descendant of Proto-Indo-European (PIE) *h₂ews-reh₂ (cf. Lithuanian auš(t)rà, 'dawn, daybreak'), extended from the PIE root *h₂ews-, meaning 'to shine, glow (red)'.[6][5] The modern English east also derives from this root, via the Proto-Germanic adverb *aust(e)raz ('east, eastwards'), from an earlier PIE *h₂ews-tero- ('east, towards the dawn').[5]

According to linguist Guus Kroonen, the Germanic and Baltic languages replaced the old formation *h₂éws-os, the name of the PIE dawn-goddess, with a form in *-reh₂-, likewise found in the Lithuanian deity Aušrinė.[5] In Anglo-Saxon England, her springtime festival gave its name to a month (Northumbrian: Ēosturmōnaþ, West Saxon: Eastermonað),[7] the rough equivalent of April, then to the Christian feast of Easter that eventually displaced it.[4][8] In southern Medieval Germany, the festival Ôstarûn similarly gave its name to the month Ôstarmânôth, and to the modern feast of Ostern ('Easter'), suggesting that a goddess named *Ôstara was also worshipped there.[9][8] The name of the month survived into 18th-century German as Ostermonat.[10] An Old Saxon equivalent of the spring goddess named *Āsteron may also be reconstructed from the term asteronhus, which is translated by most scholars as 'Easter-house', which would parallel the Medieval Flemish Paeshuys ('Easter-house').[11] Frankish historian Einhard also writes in his Vita Karoli Magni (early 9th century CE) that after Charlemagne defeated and converted the continental Saxons to Christianity, he gave Germanic names to the Latin months of the year, which included the Easter-month Ostarmanoth.[12]

The Old English Ēostre is therefore a distant cognate of numerous other dawn goddesses attested among Indo-European-speaking peoples, including UṣásĒṓs, and Aurōra. In the words of the Encyclopedia of Indo-European Culture, "a Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn is supported both by the evidence of cognate names and the similarity of mythic representation of the dawn goddess among various Indo-European groups. [...] All of this evidence permits us to posit a Proto-Indo-European *haéusōs 'goddess of dawn' who was characterized as a 'reluctant' bringer of light for which she is punished. In three of the Indo-European stocks, BalticGreek and Indo-Iranian, the existence of a Proto-Indo-European 'goddess of the dawn' is given additional linguistic support in that she is designated the 'daughter of heaven'."[13]

O tea he he!

 

"Mother is a straight shooter"

dilpreettagger

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUXsnkNkihh/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

This, too, seems more feminist.

"Studies from 2016 onwards..."

drjesstaylor

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWqxTWBKAq7/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Stuff like this makes me feel like Society is getting more feminist in spite of who the hell is running this country.

 


"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"

therealmanifestelle

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1aYc6RmHC0I&si=fcXhRT5hMSn4mLwo

There's an article to read, too!

"The Queer Gaze"| Substack

https://thequeergaze.substack.com/


"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"

therealmanifestelle

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1aYc6RmHC0I&si=fcXhRT5hMSn4mLwo

And I still need to catch up on the other ones she posted recently!

Being good when being bad is rewarded?

"the tea on CATCHING PRINT 👀"

therealmanifestelle 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1aYc6RmHC0I&si=fcXhRT5hMSn4mLwo

Mind the cortisol though.

 

"Forced gratitude elevates cortisol"

kyleinspires1

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWmcAFejjfE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==


This is very creative!

"Had a coffee with myself at 16..."

adam.floatinghome

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWqlkVijLuv/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Okay, and just one more thing...

I feel like audiences at ballet performances are filled with people with dashed dreams and eating disorders and they will be using the toilets. So I hope there's not any sexist long lines at the restrooms, but there will be. Okay, so this can be funny!

Hi bird, you're on a wire!

 

That's a bird who's never had to worry about PCOS or its psychological ramifications in a patriarchal culture or any of the various cosmetic remedies, which are never covered by insurance! Even if you have the good insurance which doesn't have the huge deductible.

Oh and I also want prescription sunglasses. Because I don't want to get Lasik.

 

"The only thing we should be moulding is..."

tetyanawrites

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWq3bU1AMgK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

X: Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten prescription sunglasses?

Y: What if you wait two months and then get prescription sunglasses? 

X: I have not gotten prescription sunglasses for more than a decade. I don't even remember when I got them. I might have gotten them when I lived in Illinois. I don't even remember.

~~~~~~

Also, I am not happy with the way the gum feels on one of the teeth which looks too big to me now and I wonder if it's affecting the gum.

So many problems come with living in human bodies!!!!!

She's so cheerful!

 

Obduliah Ag

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkMrgm8E/

😆lol☺️lol😆

 

"Modern Blockbusters"

m/MVIVN

https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/rt3RrffuCD

Maybe moving around a lot made me easier to amuse?

 

My interest / other writer's interest (which I also find interesting.)

"Sheila Campaign"

pitchfork

https://youtube.com/watch?v=UH7dreFAiBQ&si=uqUPIRWSqMg6r5oz

"Seems unbeleivable until..."

u/LowNo175

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/f9NX6xFdd3

My cat is bothering my phone again; I wonder why?

"🔥Desire gets a bad rap and I wonder why?"

yumisakugawa 

https://www.instagram.com/p/DWj5wKzEmrg/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

It feels like a sign that I can help my throat with miso soup today.

 

Beabadoobee

https://youtube.com/@beabadoobee?si=COs7oFFsy-FEfrDF

Thursday, April 02, 2026

Oh, the light mockery...

The light mockery of the universe...

⭐Finally, now it's time to chill. 🧘🏻‍♀️

"Within You Without You (Remastered 2009)"

The Beatles

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HsffxGyY4ck&si=HvsfbeaY8BWRh_a9

I felt like talking about something else.

Death! I find it really weird that the Universe did its best to convince me I was this other person and when I was a young adult I even tried to contact the a couple people that this other person knew when he was alive and it was a total disaster. Either it just fell apart or it or the letter got rejected and sent back. And I didn't and I only said I was interested in his stories. So if somebody who died comes back and tries to send you a letter, you're probably going to reject them, huh.

This seems a bit...disturbing?

The Regrettes - "Hey Now [Official Music Video]"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=r0CD4dVYAEY&si=HyYWdKc4TPFJ7z-I

"Hail Kitty..." Okay, sure, fine...

"Hail Mary" ~ Skating Polly 

https://youtu.be/v2ahvxACX5Q?si=G3M1MtdYfY8vzm5s

I have to sing for the cat.

"Some cat you are, to continuously beg..."

(She does. She's a very food-oriented creature. And yet she's also picky and doesn't want to eat pate or certain kinds of wet foods. I didn't really know what a finicky cat was before I had her. My other cats were certainly not so choosy!)

Tori Amos - "Never Seen Blue Lyrics & Meanings" | SongMeanings

https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/74240/

Did you like this one? 🎶

Tori Amos - "i i e e e (Live Sessions 1998) + Lyrics"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=41OgbLr86DY&si=CyzTDihrbVfmELEU

Yes.

And this one? 

Tori Amos - "Jackie's Strength"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=C7WET8khBc4&si=jHaLsIwtZAlmEieI

Also yes. 

And this one? 

Skating Polly - "Camelot (Official Video)"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FbFoX8SvaKI&si=lsnaCCD9cBbLlyPV

Yes again!