The universe even arranged it so that I feel like, when I was a kid on an island in the Pacific Northwest and I ran down the hill in front of the house that my mother and her boyfriend decided to buy, I was really excited because it felt very rural and it felt just different and like it was something out of another era or out of a book I had been reading and it's all mixed up with how I was getting this impression like two guys were having some sort of argument about a horse or something kind of trivial but also important and it was kind of like two 19th century guys were doing that. That was all mixed up with the freedom of discovering the new landscape on the island.
Sunday, April 12, 2026
Because energy is trying to communicate with a sentient person.
Anyways, I think the universe wanted me to look at Thoreau and Emerson walking around a pond Sometimes getting along sometimes arguing. Maybe probably more than normal. Humanity's just flailing around trying to get to the next level and you're not that different from other people; be prepared for some arguments.
She reminds me more of the positive role model!
"There are so many conversations that we could have..."
carolineconnen
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVbsaBxjvAK/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Doesn't change much about the reflexive coldness of some people, but...It's progress, I guess.
"The anti-ICE resistance is working"| Judith Levine
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/12/anti-ice-protests-trump
Disenfranchised grief is a big thing.
Disenfranchised people are totally going to get seen by somebody.
Ugh, the scar.
It's a good thing that when I was a little kid in upstate New York, I had a nice, fun, blonde teenage babysitter who taught me how to go swimming to cancel out the mean blonde mother who was oppressive and stabbed me with a needle and, well, just not a good experience, for me or my sister or the brown boy.
Of course, sometimes the mind wants to figure out more about the negative, but maybe we should just think more about the positive like swimming lessons and peanut butter and fluff sandwiches and playing games and the funny laugh the nice babysitter had. She had a very distinctive laugh.
I'm pretty sure the blonde mother had too much on her plate to care about anyone else's kids and really should not have been babysitting us, but unfortunately she was a mother in a patriarchal society.
The Big D.
"Disappointment"| Nature Walk Talks with Dr. Dale Atkins
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2s_BB86z9hU&si=uo5KNboxx8xmKlyW
🌊🎶🌊🎶🌊🎶
Wet Leg - "Chaise Longue (Official Video)"
What are we here on Earth to do?
I think it would be interesting to talk about how the idea of knowing some people can be both appealing and scary at the same time.
Some of us die sooner than others, for some reason.
Is this actually provocative or is it just kind of a normal question?
If we don't want other people's children to be in concentration camps any more than we want our children to be in concentration camps then why don't we get better at acting like it?
Some humans seem to want to stop being so... What's the word?
Maybe some people should make a list of which topics they find unattractive to explore and why?
It could be really interesting to find out why you find some topics to be more uncomfortable to explore than others.
I'm not saying this to pick on people. I'm saying, if these are things that need to be healed, they're not going to go away if people don't want to address them. So it could be interesting to find out why some people don't want to address them.
It's also interesting to find out why some people find it more tolerable to kind of just ignore what's happening and keep on going along with life, and other people find it more intolerable, and why that is so.
At least I don't wake up thinking about them all the time anymore.
When Earth feels like such a dense place, it makes me kind of wonder if I was a concentration camp non-survivor in another life. Should I ever read that guy's book, the one that Joy Division referenced? It would be also something to see this documentary.
"The Return from the other Planet"| Filmmakers Live
Kitty is super friendly. It's good energy perhaps?
Helpful "Don't turn into a spendthrift on clothing" therapy.
"I tell my patients that BMI is not a good indicator of health"
healthislove.co
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWkYzltDkLS/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"When the beauty standard is thinness..."
lucievallee
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWGa2gGDW_B/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"I'm angry. Anyone else?"
alexlight_ldn
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWjgT_ijBZh/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Isn't an affinity for repetition kind of like an "on the spectrum" activity?
And perhaps that is why going through these hiccups / phases of immaturity can be somewhat comforting...
"Hell’s Grannies" | Monty Python (Official Sketch)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fvRgf5KK08U&si=74oaPhJktCZB69Az
"Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=g3YiPC91QUk&si=pK8WO-KbVGD730j2
"Huge Tracts of Land"
~ Monty Python
Being inquisitive and curious is very genuine.
I actually think it's more genuine for me to get more inquisitive because I'm actually really curious. Sometimes I'm more curious than lead eyelid on, then I've let on, and sometimes I think I've been given access to more information than I've talked about. Even though I've already talked about a lot of stuff and rambled about it and probably rambled on, on purpose. Because making things messy and imperfect is kind of a survival strategy sometimes.
Good luck to me with this.
I'm going to try to get better at being inquisitive instead of reactive. Reactive to my own trauma, reactive to how someone else's different experiences trigger me...I feel like I just want to get more inquisitive instead. I think it might produce better interactions and results and things like that.
Apparently, I didn't choose a wife, I mean a life, with one strict solution that's going to solve everything.
Am I supposed to look at funny things? Am I supposed to look at sad things? Am I supposed to look at poetry? Am I supposed to look at music? Am I supposed to exercise? Go grocery shopping? What am I supposed to do now? Well, I think I'm going to send out a nature poem that I workshopped last year and got feedback on. Do you know the value of somebody really paying attention to a piece of work when it's in progress? Even if it's just one small poem. It's almost like having the memory of a really good dinner.
I think things will get better, and I think it's alright that a lot of things have been strange.
It's still such a great opportunity to get to know more about life?
I really was looking forward to getting insights from the exphrasis class before the plans changed.
I believe I'm slowly receiving more insights from the universe anyways!
It's fine to eat cookies sometimes!
I most certainly will sprinkle edible glitter on some of them. Also, I found out that apparently I will get to learn more about something called "goddess squats" tomorrow from someone who knows more about that sort of thing than I do.
As I reflect back on this life so far, I wouldn't say I've been that "successful" by outward metrics, but I do think that sometimes I've been given an indication that some people can hear me, and they think I have potential to maybe get more "successful" in the future, possibly?
You know I do believe baking with music is pretty enjoyable for me.
"Soul blueprint 🎶"
"I Can't See New York (2023 Remaster)" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HRUNACbbfZs&si=bM6kiMPT-AKOyQI2
I'm waiting for the butter to soften.
And I'm burning incense, American, I mean, A MYRRH CONE, lol. And then I'm going to bake starchies and probably work on a puzzle and listen to "The Tenth Island" by D. Marcum on CD.
"ah to be 30 years old in 1990..."
mysweetrooker
Decided this is also a good time for baking a certain recipe.
"Tonight I finally made the starchies"
kaiser.nathaniel
https://www.instagram.com/p/C-l9ReluA-u/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"baking is expensive"
ashbaber
https://youtube.com/shorts/viR1ayhkwL4?si=SRplmWa6XUT_9JJv
I took a picture of it when my sister was visiting and it's perfect because I accidentally bought too much cornstarch one time when I already had enough, and plus I have enough butter, and plus there's an old can of condensed milk from back when we went to the food bank. So it's perfect. And I can add jam to them later if I want to.
I'm excited about listening to this book on CD again.
"The Tenth Island: Finding Joy, Beauty, and Unexpected Love in the Azores"
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39975783-the-tenth-island
I have my stepfather's CD player from the '90s and it still works!
I decided to listen this book because I read this!
"You Know Me Now" — HerStry
https://herstryblg.com/theme/2025/8/18/you-know-me-no
(Bonnie Hearn Hill writes about Diana Marcum)
I'd probably never have read that if I hadn't met this person, and I'm ordering his / their book.
"Slowly Through the Grove": Brantingham, John, Brantingham, Ann: 9798991872461: Amazon.com: Books
https://www.amazon.com/Slowly-Through-Grove-John-Brantingham/dp/B0G4LCCK6Y
Sometimes professionals f*** things up.
Y: I found where she f***** it up, so here's this form and here's this line and here's this form and this line and oh look at that blah blah blah.
X: To be honest I just had someone I mean some wine so you're going to have to show me this in the future.
Y: It's all right. Just believe me that she f***** it up.
X: Well, I'm sorry, especially since I'm the one who suggested using her services
Y: It's all right. It's a learning experience.
X: I really am asking you to show me it later though because I do want to know.
Y: That's fine.
We must give ourselves credit when we recognize patterns.
Reminded me that I hoped other people have done more healing in regards to their mother wound traumas, and who knows, some of them might also be treating themselves and other people's minds and bodies better these days.
"something weird is happening on these girls trips"
therealmanifestelle
And it tends to be the ones who have experienced more adverse conditions who are changing more quickly.
"X-wing dropping matriarchy bombs in the patriarchy death star"
luc.ai
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVq_Ad_j0b2/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sometimes it feels like a lot of men in this era are changing, actually.
Now I'm going to transition to another topic.
"Why do patriarchal men love joking that their wife is the boss?"
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/s/xYIT7GQHZe
They were adults, but extremely young ones.
This is the sort of thing that hovers around the periphery of my life a lot, still.
"Remembering the Lives of the Four Slain Students"
There's a paywall, but I can see that this person is 19 years old, so...
It makes you wonder how his community raised him.
"Why this disillusioned Trump voter spends hours searching the Epstein Files"
Just as a ballpark average...
How much do some people's kids have to discount other people's existences in order to make their particular set of parents feel more comfortable and happy?
In an era of Jeffrey Epstein fans acting like toddlers and running things...
Do you know why the patriarchy prefers the people who identify more as the babies versus as the eldest or the caretakers or the ones who have to watch out for others or the ones who have to be on alert to notice what's going on with other people.
What do you think about that.
What's up with lots of people accepting money for locking other people away, like even little kids and stuff?
Do you have any insights as to why some people might be more okay with that sort of occupation???
We are aware that superficial forms of love are quite malnourishing to all body types.
But it still seems like Patriarchal Society wants certain types of people born into certain types of bodies to feel a certain amount of gratification more quickly in exchange for repeating certain kinds of behavior patterns.
It's really like no amount of money is ever enough.
It's amazing how much spoiled princes feel the need to unsee and oppress people, and they need girls and women to want to act like human rights for anyone who isn't a spoiled prince is a topic that is so unimportant to consider! I feel shocked. I feel shocked daily by this pattern. It's like, a very bad habit. It's their version of eating too many potato chips.
You know what feels very problematic and unabundant and anti-Cosmic Mother?
Unseeing the same kinds of girls your parents had to unsee so they could keep the Patriarchy propped up just so some people could have nicer houses to live in.
You know whose fault this is.
"In American culture we have seen standards of attractiveness that are substantially slimmer for women than men (which can be seen in comments/beliefs that overweight women are 'fat' yet overweight men are 'sturdy'). And over time, this standard for women has only gotten worse, with women trying to lose more and more weight. 'This media ideal is quite pervasive in society, with female cartoon characters, movie/television actresses, Playboy centerfolds, and Miss America Pageant winners all having become increasingly thinner over the decades.'”
~ Lisa Quast
"Why Being Thin Can Actually Translate Into A Bigger Paycheck For Women"
The laughter of the living during tax season!
Wow! You contributed a lot to your Roth IRA.
It's sad that you say that's a lot. It shows what a poverty mentality you have.
Well, I mean compared to what you earned for the year.
Yeah, that's because you were paying my rent. I also earned interest from a high-yield savings account. So we have to enter that.
Heh, that pretty much did not affect the refund at all!
Heh heh heh.
It's very gloomy & rainy outside, but it actually looks perfect!
Greyness can be very refreshing, like the bewitching weather of the Pacific Northwest has come down South to help us out. And now, there won't be as much chance of wildfires for a little bit. Nature helps everything look so pretty again!
I'm going to crochet now, and put my crochet hat on while I do it.
"Burn Your Village (Same Old Energy pt.II)" - Official Video
KikiRockwell
This is very cute! And heartwarming! And cat loving!
"harold update ❤️"
lucilletherescuecat
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXAxFGlESGA/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
It's kind of a staying in day, I guess.
The physical vehicle I inhabit has decided it's time to be more mindful. I got some twingey pains so I have taken one choline and one cholacol and one Livton after I ate one egg with some chopped cactus in olive oil and a toasted tortilla but I was probably in a scattered mood as I was eating and that's not really for the best for the digestive organs. Also I put Cholula hot sauce on it and I have no idea if that matters or not.
I suspect the great cause was that they fed him.
"Had a wonderful evening raising money for a great cause."
@teamcoco
https://www.instagram.com/p/DW-rBLUCOzw/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Ha! Ha!
"Please do all this extra work to improve your physical health and psychological state, and grow as a spiritual being, and also be sure to make time to watch the shows that are good for the guys."
Well, maybe this is a good show for some men to watch; it could be.
I haven't watched it. I have still got to watch the Thoreau thing, and I haven't watched that yet, either.
"Scrubs Has a Sneakily Radical Vision of Male Friendship"
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/2026/04/scrubs-reboot-male-friendship/686723/
🩰TIL about sneakerinas 👟👟
"My Honest Opinion About the Viral Sneakerina Shoes"
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/clothing/a69168484/sneakerina-shoe-review/
It's fun to be a student.
Y: "I feel like I'm learning much more from the tax software than I did from the f****** CPA."
X: "That's good!"
I don't know why people have to be so weird.
I'm a simple enough person. I like good food. I like to read books. I like to go on nature walks. I like taking pictures of pretty things in nature. It's fine.
But I also have to read memoirs and accounts of others getting through their suffering to help me get through this life.
Gotta look at something more whimsical soon; I know I can be so whimsical.
And I gotta go swimming soon, and get into a more whimsical mood so then I can be more...
🌊 Swimsical!🧜🏻♀️
"Cruel" ~ Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8j3IQH74jXc&si=SsyTuXlBCcl6xGQL
Oof.
Fiona Apple - "Sleep To Dream"
I can't go home! Well, at least I feel warmer now.
I don't know what the universe is doing, and it feels like I'm a puppet for a higher power, and I'm just going to have more sore core muscles (that's kinda cool actually) and a still not so skinny body! The universe just doesn't care if I want to conform; it's going to make me be a bad fit, anyway. Oh well. Time to give up now!
Saturday, April 11, 2026
Well, coldness, once again.
At least I can feel like a higher power sees more kinds of people and wants to see them more than the cold Patriarchal people were trained to see others. The coldness, which is too much to deal with sometimes, is damaging things, sabotaging fun, interfering with communication, and all of that, because it is too controlling. I ate a not too healthy snack, and although the dark chocolate chips didn't have sugar in them, the white chocolate ones certainly did. The coldness, it won't be ignored. But it can't be helped unless it wants to help itself. I've let the coldness stress me out again. Have to figure out a better way of dealing with it. I think I'll make a cup of tea.
It's actually very precious to have time to walk and process.
And notice which songs get in your head.
Tori Amos ~ "Rattlesnakes"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qOuCBaJYTIY&si=T0JFQTCUsNe7SGhj
And wonder why those songs get in your head.
Blonde Redhead - "Magic Mountain"
Take care of your heart(s) and your nervous system(s)!
Anyways, I also got told the other day that something really sad for me had happened, and what had happened was a toilet paper factory caught fire, LOL. But not LOL about the factory catching fire, but the attempt at humor was very appreciated.
I think the cat really likes this life. She seems happy a lot.
I get a lot of satisfaction from the cat being happy.
Update: The cat left because she got bored and now she's outside.
I'll probably look at clothes after this. They can be beautiful. Like preparing meals.
"The Mermaid (1904) Georges Méliès"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AIG01ZEROL0&si=-IWFAk3-7cgc_2e5
Rodriguez - "Inner City Blues"
But why can't I do self-care the rich people way? Well okay, I guess I'll try it.
"How to Do Abhyanga, a Self Massage with Warm Oil"
@banyanbotanicals
Also, you can learn a lot from dreary times.
Like, oh I got a little bit better at organizing today. Oh, I got a little bit better at folding clothes. Oh wow, things got really messy in that corner of the house didn't they? And then we just wanted to ignore it and look at stuff on our phones or look at a movie. Or daydream. Well, the farmers tackled their tasks and got things done all the time right away, and wasn't that great? Unfortunately, they were also quite sexist and emotionally mutilated a lot of the time, but the house was organized.
Precious? Prescient?
Finding it interesting that a lot of people don't get taught this unless you maybe seek out certain kinds of books or films, but sometimes romantic gestures are really just a form of control, and then it feels like freedom is more valuable. But then again, maybe sometimes romantic gestures are an expression of creativity, and creativity is a gateway to freedom.
People need to believe they deserve more joy and freedom.
It feels like many people have become accustomed to settling and sacrificing so they don't feel as much joy and freedom, and in some ways this is also being reflected by the people who have agreed to infringe on other people's freedoms and rob them of their joy in exchange for a paycheck. But then it seems like sometimes people do still seek out feelings of freedom and joy, but less so with other people, and it's more of a furtive, solitary activity.
I thought this one was good; I heard it on the way to visiting a nature preserve.
🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
"Clean comedy #doves #birds #standup"
byjacobsamuel
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5y07CGynAw/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
On the other hand, I do still believe in energy work.
I do think that when people get better at taking care of themselves, they can cultivate more peaceful patterns, and an aura of peace and love can surround them, and that energy might be very powerful, and more of what society really needs.
They get to read the edition where she says more feminist stuff in it now, too, compared to when I was a kid.
"Anne Frank’s ironic place in the classroom during ICE raids"
Obviously!
Well, thank you for giving me such an affinity for the forgotten, abandoned, abused children in detention centers, on account of how often it feels like my experiences are even more worthless to The Patriarchal Mothers and Fathers than a Bad Mother's.
Time to go pay attention to a creature.
There's a strange cat yowling outside.
Nevermind, it decided to go away.
It is so nice to know that more of the "different" ones will be be treated better in the future.
Fewer people will slip through the cracks. But good change is necessary so that can happen!
There's resistance to change. It sometimes surprises and disappoints you who ends up being resistant. People you would have thought wouldn't have been that way when you were younger might end up disappointing you.
People can be terribly old-fashioned when they have something at stake, and when they're trying to protect themselves. But we cannot all accommodate their egos just to get access to some of resources that they have.
I am not supposed to disregard my own experiences, am I? To accommodate whose egos? In exchange for what, exactly?
Friday, April 10, 2026
Definitely not here to keep others oppressed just to accommodate their egos.
If my stances make some people start to question their own decisions and tendencies to go along with certain patterns, and perhaps to wonder about their previous actions, and even the actions and decisions of some of the people they were taught to admire, well, maybe there's a reason they're doing so.
Anyways, I think being a "Good Girl" according to Patriarchal Standards all the time is just impossible.
What if you're not supposed to keep on "unseeing" as many kinds of kids and moms and dads and aunts and uncles and other kinds people as you were trained unsee just because you're still living in a Patriarchal Society?
And what if you were trained to "unsee" them just to cope with the skewed circumstances of living in a patriarchal society, but that's actually not really for your benefit as much as they wanted you to believe it was?
To be honest, lately I've become rather disturbed by the idea that patriarchal society has drummed into some people a tendency of going along with certain programs and patterns of male entitlement, as if that is just what they must do in order to get by in this culture.
For example, the male entitlement to pronounce certain types of women as the "good" types and other types of women as the "bad" types of women, or maybe the "more abandonable" types is not healthy. It's too controlling and it's done out of insecurity. It leads to more kinds of people and more groups of people being disenfranchised, and that's not a good thing.
I did spend a good part of my twenties and thirties being strongly affected by how trauma and violence affects girls and women. Perhaps it molded my personality and outlook quite a bit.
Want to know how messed up it is / the current iteration patriarchy is?
Driving over to Topanga or Palm Springs or somewhere else for an ayurvedic hormone balancing treatment feels like, not only is it going to NOT be covered by any sort of medical insurance (some people are lucky enough to get acupuncture covered, though) but it feels like it's only accessible to rich people, or if you decide put it on your card it's like, "That's so crazy, almost like what an irresponsible meth addict would do, or something."
He got tipped; that was good!
"Do women who hate men actually..."
streetlighteyesdontdie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW-GS74EVUR/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I have got to say, the timing was really something.
The timing of first reading the incredibly sad and moving ending of Simone de Beauvoir's memoir before finding out about another sudden and unexpected departure.
I was partially thinking about M. Fragoso, and I was thinking about lots of other kinds of loss / death situations, as well.
"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/164006.Memoirs_of_a_Dutiful_Daughter
It's also easier for me to read this book. I still don't own Margaux's book. I'm not sure if I want to yet. But I might want to someday. It's in a lot of libraries.
I feel like billowy pants sliced in half could become a real skirt that I could wear outside.
I need a sewing machine.
They could be sewn up more on the sides.
There's more to learn about birds.
I saw a tiny bird flying close to a very big bird and I wonder why the tiny bird wanted to do that.
When the sun hits the hills like that, it looks so Western!
A very different landscape from what I saw when I was a little kid.
What to do with this Western time...
It's a sky with a finite amount of sunlight in it for the rest of today...
From this one's perspective!
Tori Amos - "Apollo's Frock Improv / Doughnut Song"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_ThPTQNs31w&si=5LxMh8WfrOxzXWFl
"The best songs by Tori Amos, as chosen by her | Interview" | The Line of Best Fit
https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/tori-amos-personal-best
Dinner was good! I also had a chicken skewer.
It's a life with a finite amount of days in it.
"David Lynch's Leaving Limerance"
https://open.substack.com/pub/amyhappens/p/david-lynchs-leaving-limerence
Time to go outside again.
X: I freed a fly. I opened the screen door and now a fly is out there flying around in the freedom of the outdoors!
Y: I was just over there 5 minutes ago and I tried to do that so you were more successful than me.
Three plus one plus a 🎶 musical work that are fun or timely to read.
"His New York"
john brantingham – East Jasmine Review
https://eastjasminereview.com/tag/john-brantingham/
"The Fine Art of the Slow Amble. I move slowly on my hike today around…" | by John Brantingham | The Journal of Radical Wonder | Medium
https://medium.com/the-journal-of-radical-wonder/the-fine-art-of-the-slow-amble-df0955ce22c7
"MacQueen’s Quinterly: Nonfiction: John Brantingham: Writing Flash Fiction and Memoir to Fight a Tragic World View"
http://www.macqueensquinterly.com/MacQ26/Brantingham-Writing-Flash.aspx
"With Coltrane on the Great Western Divide"
john-brantingham — Ghost Town Literary Magazine
http://ghosttownlitmag.com/johnbrantingham
John Coltrane - "A Love Supreme [Full Album] (1965)"
Nothing lasts forever!
Okay, I took some flower essences and half napped and I'm probably ready to stress myself out by being more expressive under adverse circumstances, but who knows for how long? The cat is more dedicated to her nap time.
It's just information; not rejection.
My nervous system's overwhelmed today. It's hard to think it's best for it to be around people who get a lot of identity from intellectual or artistic endeavors and money right now. I can't really do it. I have to focus on health stuff. I'm looking up info and holding pressure points that are supposed to help teeth.
Oh well, a few thoughts before a nap and painkiller helps.
You don't always need to make fun of yourself, right? I mean, maybe that was fine for some situations. Maybe that actually helped you sometimes. Maybe you didn't need to take some things so seriously. But actually, some of this life has been really really hard. You need to forgive yourself for having a hard life. And sometimes people didn't know how to help you at certain pivotal stages of development, and that's what happened.
I think I really need a nap now.
Too much information to process in one day and one of my teeth is hurting off and on. It's time for painkiller and a nap. And maybe other things, too. Lots of remedies... Pressure points. Flower essences. Relaxing. Believing life will be good and balanced and normal someday...
Wow...
Health is wealth!
"honored"
mayaandhunter
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW4n21NEu4b/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"also hunters a lawyer"
mayaandhunter
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVmex87krWO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Maybe something good can come of sharing?
Because of these interesting times being so interesting like they are.
"I'm not going to sugarcoat it"
sarahinyellow
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWG_2rtklSi/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Kind of excited about platform shoes actually.
They make your legs look longer and you can feel taller, but they still feel flat on the bottom of your feet. And maybe you could wear them with longer pants without hemming them?
Just as long as they're not too bad for your back.
As far as some kinds of summer clothes goes, I want to get to know the "5 Min Skin" device that I got a while back better. That's because when you walk, and your legs rub together, it's better not to get too inflamed / irritated, if possible.
Well, changes keep on happening...
I almost started a free class on exphrasis this weekend with a teacher who gave all his students so much encouragement and now things are going to be different because he's gone.
Last couple of emails:
Write about music (which he found difficult because he grew up hard of hearing)
Write about this painting:
"Dinamismo di un cane al guinzaglio (Dynamism of a Dog on a Leash), 1912"
https://buffaloakg.org/artworks/196416-dinamismo-di-un-cane-al-guinzaglio-dynamism-dog-leash
Write about birds
And now things are very different from yesterday.
Also, I told my companero, who's respectful but a man of few words as usual, and he watched a funny clip on his phone and when I asked about it, like the hilarious, insensitive slob he can be, he said, you missed it, and then I went outside and I ate two tangy-sweet dessert tartlets for breakfast and had a little waterworks fest.
Cosmic Mother manifests
"Canadian mother held by ICE with daughter, 7, speaks out on families 'suffering greatly' in detention"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/10/ice-canadian-mother-daughter-texas
Everyone has different talents.
I really don't suffer that much when it comes to grammar mistakes. I suffer slightly, and then I make attempts to correct them. Grandma mistakes? Gramma mis takes...
Mira.🎶
My old favorite driving around CD sometimes.
Ekova – Heaven's Dust – CD (Album), 1998 [r1097736] | Discogs
https://www.discogs.com/release/1097736-Ekova-Heavens-Dust
It really was hidden, and it really was a surprise when it came on in the car!
"Track 13 ends at 4:39, followed by silence, and then two hidden tracks."
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Ekova ~ "Heaven's Dust"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Twd8xcurKDE&si=txCm7kNlR7O9WiQD
And I think I got their CD from a bargain bin at Border's Books. I thought I could get a job their company when I moved to Michigan after I finished my master's degree, but I couldn't. Isn't that interesting? (It is to me!)
Borders (retailer) - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borders_(retailer)
"Borders last annual profit was in 2006, with yearly income dropping by $1 billion over the next four years.[31]"
Thursday, April 09, 2026
Make soothing three layer Jello; hopefully it won't irritate the tooth.
Tori Amos - "Virginia"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=L92aHvucJ9E&si=gZse2ueOlrw_0mQX
Tori Amos - "Indian Summer (2023 Remaster)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9X28cMLtj0w&si=-GDXxliwRXSTE5_Z
Sufjan Stevens "Untitled (All Delighted People Side D)"
I believe so.
A tooth nerve can be very disappointed about the negligence and willful ignorance and brutality that some have settled for.
Skating Polly - "Camelot (Official Video)"
I'm so annoyed about the tooth right now. So annoyed!
Roller skating parties in an elementary school gym and DJs who call out blue Jordache sweaters!
I think the dad in this video must be some kind of military veteran with PTSD or something, huh.
Twisted Sister - "We're Not Gonna Take it (Extended version)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V9AbeALNVkk&si=axYNS8NtDOLMe3KW
We who aren't in detention centers and also aren't producing or rearing advantaged children are not supposed to put up with more Patriarchal B.S. in exchange for the Patriarchy doling out some measly child care favors that only go to the most advantaged children; we're supposed to call you out on it, and say we're not going to settle for that anymore!
I got partway through this on account of my reading.
I guess it was a big sensation in the theater once upon a time!
"The Star Fish (1928) Man Ray"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1tVpqQVXIcs&si=TlWn3FECm2Cz6Al3
I was actually kind of in a zone where I could have watched the whole thing, but then all this other stuff came up having to do with organizing files and taxes and just having to do a big overhaul of a lot of other types of things, generally.
There was another disappointing physical setback.
A tooth does not like it when I'm chewing on it and I'm disappointed about that. I don't want to spend more money on dental work right now. I'm really disappointed.
This is an ad, but it is also crafty!
"'A puddle on the road isn't enough. Not in this heat.' — What a potter from the Blue Ridge Mountains has been putting in her garden for 15 years so the bees still come."
I'm just accessing another calming memory now.
"McDonald's flying saucers"
https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/s/PI4gMEBZp1
Whenever I have an urge to tell the patriarchy to please get the f*** over itself, I'm also like, look, it's time to remember that you were a very nice, chill little kid sometimes. Think about how fun it was with that McDonald's Happy Meal UFO toy you liked to play with in the bathtub. Chill kids are happy kids, and that is something that girl children and boy children both deserve! And perhaps they don't get enough of that; especially if they're in a detention center right now. Oops sorry, I don't know why I get the impulse to go there. I probably read too much Anne Frank in recent years; I'm sorry. I don't know if my spirit guides are sorry, though; they might not be sorry at all. But I am a little bit because I'm also trying to make my life more comfortable. Except that I also don't care about making my life more comfortable. I have contradictory impulses sometimes.
It doesn't surpass the memory of the mourning doves' sounds in the early evening; however...
It compliments them because it was really fun to read this one on summer vacations! In a clawfoot bathtub, too.
Strangely Enough! (C.B. Colby)
https://the-haunted-closet.blogspot.com/2010/07/strangely-enough-cb-colby-scholastic.html?m=1
The universe is accustomed to much stranger things happening down here.
Sometimes, time lags are a necessary and important part of our journeys while we're here. I kind of felt like I had to have my profound end of the book experience all by myself. Sigh.
I also probably need to reread a lot of it because some parts were rushed, but I don't regret that I chose to read the whole thing to the very end today.
Do you ever feel like, if you start notice that you have an inclination to withdraw from some situations, but then there's this internal part of you that's also like, oh yeah, well, bring it on then, that's some useful knowledge?
It was worthwhile going out today, but it also got kind of weird when it seemed like I was being prompted to feel obligated to notice that the universe was pushing some Midwestern / German kinds of stuff in front of me, and meanwhile a grandmotherly spirit from another solar system is probably looking for something a bit beyond the Midwestern averageness (ha-ha) actually I am also kidding about that really, because who knows, these people could be geniuses.
Afterall, I sat next to a guy on an airplane who gave off Midwestern car dealership vibes and he ended up being a manufacturer of rockets who's involved with all other kinds of crazy things, so, I hope the aliens are praying for us.
I'm almost done with my book. It wasn't 400 pages.
I swear something wanted me to think it was 400 pages. It ends on page 360.
Blueberry thoughts and musical ones...
I just felt like eating a blueberry dish that can make me forget all troubles and experience feeling very happy and alive in the moment.
I believe this happened after I skimmed a sentence:
"After lunch, I went to see Zaza in the rue de Berri. She was wearing a new dress in blue voile with a black and white all-over pattern and a huge straw sun-bonnet: how she had blossomed out since the beginning of the summer!"
Page 330 of "Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter" by Simone Beauvoir
I'm imagining something that's like a blueberry version of strawberry shortcake, but everything is really top quality ingredients. The blueberries are top quality. Whatever is going on with the whipped cream and the "shortcake," too. I imagine something like a biscuit or a pastry that's not too sweet but it's a pleasing texture and this phenomenal blueberry dessert makes you feel like you're outside in a beautiful rural area, enjoying the sun, at one with nature, and the temperature is perfect and you're just very content in the moment and feeling completely happy.
That kind of happened with some gelato I ate in Virginia once. Everything else was wiped out. I was fully absorbed in the taste and the texture of the gelato. I felt like I was sinking into some kind of velvety luxury, and the space around me was changing just because of the experience with this gelato.
I was going to go back to that place and get more gelato, but I moved away and now maybe that place is not even there anymore. Maybe my brain was just really primed to eat that particular flavor of gelato that day for some reason. Maybe it had nutrients in it that I was desperately craving. Maybe it was balancing my hormones. I don't know. It was extremely good gelato though.
Also, would it have been more beneficial to meet this song (which has been kind of going around in my head off and on, and I do enjoy it, I guess) when I was a younger person? I'm not too sure.
'We Are What You Say" ~ S.S.
Wednesday, April 08, 2026
Can a benevolent Universe help me get to 400 pages in less than 24 hours?
"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/164006.Memoirs_of_a_Dutiful_Daughter
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