It's okay. I will be okay. She'll be back.
"One Grain of Sand" ~ Pete Seeger
Tuesday, November 10, 2026
And that really is just how I feel sometimes!
I don't have to treat you like I think you're better than such and such type of person just because you have chosen to surround yourself with people who want to treat you like you're better than such and such type of person. Nobody is paying me to do that. I'm not going to do it.
Look at these children! Just look at them! Process this experience!
"Sesame Street - 1970's opening (show 2178)"
I should meet some of these kinds of people. Peacekeepers.
"The 'peacekeepers,' mostly older women in neon yellow vests, arrive about 15 minutes ahead of time to place orange traffic cones bearing 'SLOW' signs along Calzada de la Fuente."
"For a year, San Diegans have protested at this ICE detention center. They’re not stopping"
by Sofía Mejías-Pascoe
https://inewsource.org/2026/11/10/ice-detention-center-san-diego-protests-congress-trump/
Maybe it's where God intends me to stay for the reminder of this life?
There's the far more privileged people over here, and there's the much more oppressed people over there, and somehow, I am seemingly right in the middle, and feeling affected by all of them!
Monday, November 09, 2026
And if someone really wants to take my complaining away from me right now...
Here's a 51-minute video about a French New Wave film, screenplay written by a woman. Sounds very good at 1.5x (I detect a southern drawl.)
"Alain Resnais's 'Hiroshima Mon Amour' (1959)"
Her Head In Films
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cyHeLrUF5fQ&si=yJWN9XOhFuRPWjFp
People are complicated! It is a complex and multifaceted world!
"Brooklyn Coffee Shop Episode 75: Normal Berliner"
https://youtube.com/shorts/Uc9uJktOTXs?si=C0lGwPyVdFkXTL4B
"Y'all..."
theholisticnurselina
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dff4K90PtK7/?exln=ZjFieXl1NGV0OTd1
"one of my most evergreen TikToks"
abbyrosemorris
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DenKZOrBJld/?rpxt=MTg1Z3htaXRxYWl4bg==
"The response every survivor deserves"
bluraybeyond
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfiphcbMRER/?cplk=b2I0OGRtbWdjOThk
"making a pink black jelly cake 🩷🖤🩷🖤🩷"
sweetzori
And that's the horror of being "too curious" about what's going on in other people's realities I suppose...
I just really cannot believe it sometimes, but I guess that, according to their reality, they feel safer and get more rewards in life when they act a certain way. But their reality really does not sync with every reality that's out there...
It's obvious that not everyone feels this way...
But I say, thank God that not everybody is the same or has had the same experiences in this life.
I want to stick around for a while. I want to see what the younger people have to say about it when they get older.
You can learn a lot about human coping mechanisms at a time like this.
So for the time being, the horrors will continue? Maybe next year will be better.
"ICE unlikely to scale back crackdown, sources say"
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ice-crackdown-stephen-miller-illegal-immigration/
It's such a big, revolting insight!
The way to feel better when I'm depressed is to figure out what makes me feel better and to do what I want and not what other people want me to do.
Maybe being a shallow influencer is just not in the cards for some.
Maybe some people don't want to get their problems fixed too quickly because then they'd be skipping over important and treasured bits of knowledge. They're still trying to extract them for a collective healing, for the greater good!
Ah...safe space.
"Observations on Film Art: David Bordwell on HIROSHIMA..."
criterioncollection
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hKaHc08b13k&si=jP9X_SwcRRuNPnu2
"Alain Resnais's 'Hiroshima Mon Amour' (1959)"
Her Head In Films
And of course, I felt curious to learn more about Duras recently.
"Memory & Time in Hiroshima Mon Amour"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=W11W9BGonVA&si=ErmRCCGjZR6-KqST
I feel like what intrigued me about her is the way she was trying to acknowledge things about how people deal with love and trauma back when people weren't good at addressing those topics yet.
They still aren't because if they were, we wouldn't have ICE kidnapping and terrorizing and assaulting innocent people.
But at least we can acknowledge things like PTSD more now.
The field of psychology wasn't very far along as far as treating people with post-traumatic stress disorder after WWII. She did suffer, and she had a lot of health problems later in life. But as an artist, she managed to get a lot accomplished, getting a certain point of view out there and being respected by her peers.
I think the first time I watched the Hiroshima Mon Amour film in college was probably around the time when she died.
A picture of her in the woods when she was young kind of reminded me of a time I had some healing work done on me, and then very softly, in my head, I heard "Kiss them for me..." 🎶 and I thought of people in the French resistance.
"Marguerite Duras: recorrido por la vida y obra de la autora de ‘El Amante’"| Traveler
I think spending more time in nature would be for the best.
I kind of miss when the universe telling me to think about the Transcendentalists. But they had hard times. It was weird how their world felt so close to mine. I was being revisited by something at different times of my life, and it had a lot to do with them.
I feel like the traumas of the land have affected my health.
Sometimes I used to wake up feeling like I was getting information about bad things happening in the world, and it was my empath self picking up on stuff. Information about what's going on in the world that needs to get fixed or get better found its way to a medium that was listening. But that's not a pleasant way to wake up so I wanted to stop letting that happen so much.
It's gotten better but maybe that stuff hasn't entirely gone away.
This morning, when my body wasn't feeling so well, I picked up a book:
Spirit Run by Noe Alvarez - "The Arrival" chapter
In this part, when he started his first run, the group didn't treat him so great. In fact, the way he was treated kind of sounds like hazing. But perhaps it was honest. They didn't take to new people right away. They didn't really want to help him too much. Well, one can also contrast their behavior to when people are aggressively friendly and expecting you to have a good time in a group with them and there's so much pressure to conform that in a way, it also feels like a form of hazing.
I had a dream in the morning that a mom was smiling at me and she said she wanted me to see how soft a baby toy was but she seemed very mocking about it, so I could not smile at her. So I just gave her a look that meant "I know you are being mean about this" and then joined some other people who seemed like they wanted me to go with them and we rode a Merry-Go-Round, past the mom with her soft baby toy who alienated me with her mocking look. Even though her mouth said I was welcome, I didn't feel I was.
When I got separated from the Merry-Go-Round people, I was alone. I was confused. I was disoriented. It was not unlike an experience I had in real life when I got off a plane that had to make an emergency landing in Memphis. The staff of the airport was trying to run me out, saying the airport was closing. I always thought people could sleep in airports, but it seemed like they wanted to kick us all out. But unlike that time, instead chasing down a bunch of strangers and letting them pay for my taxi to a hotel, I just had to let go of the dream and agree to wake up in my own bed.
Okay, it's time to let go of that dream world now. You don't know any of those people. It just felt like you did in the dream. You're not with them anymore. Now you're going back to your reality. Surrounded by yarn and books.
And I was thinking about getting into that mentality where you exercise everyday and it's not about how you look. It's more about how it gives you a better feeling inside of happiness. Because I've been exercising for half the year (not everyday but several times a week) and it hasn't made one bit of difference in weight or clothing size or appearance, but it has made a difference in how I feel nevertheless.
However, if I was a decade or so younger, I think I would have lost some weight by now. But nope, the weight has stayed there. Steady as she goes. It's like a trauma gain. Maybe it's grounding.
Do people who have been through traumas tend to want to reap some gains from those traumas? I think so.
I swished oil in my mouth. No coffee.
Perhaps I am two. A stack of story books is waiting to be read to me on a bedside table. Like Bambi, and Cinderella.
It triggers pain and suffering on multiple levels. Physical, emotional, psychological.
It's been too easy for some people to just act like they don't care about certain kinds of people just to be able to go along with what others are doing. I hope a lot of the younger people learn to communicate a much more caring stance towards others better, and in a swifter manner. Waiting around for some people to get it and make good changes feels awful.
Maybe they can go back to school in the near future, though.
"Why public schools nationwide are facing a massive drop in student enrollment" | NPR & Houston Public Media
Parents who are not in ICE can be much better role models these days, I hear.
"3rd grade student taken into ICE custody"
https://www.kpax.com/videos/video/3rd-grade-student-taken-into-ice-custody
If they knew some people's children were suffering, what would the parents do?
"Kansas Livestock Leader Warns ICE Raids Are Disrupting Agriculture and Raising Food Costs" - Texas Border Business
This is good to listen to, too. 🎼🦢🕸️🌧️
"Pluto"
Sufjan Stevens et. al
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ePYgwZzqS40&si=YoQrNvSR7jPJeHH5
And sometimes I think we are a broken people and it is rather foolish to pretend otherwise.
Break a spell.
"PLEASE MAKE NOISE"
travelingnurselex
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfiP3N_PoHQ/?srtk=dXM2d3I3dWEwMjNl
Sunday, November 08, 2026
It's happening!...📚🎶💖
I guess I really just wanted to get in touch with being more literary again this year!
Noticed how the brain feels connected to a link.
When I highlighted a link on a different device, I wanted to paste it in on this device right away, as if it had been attached to my finger, and was transferable from it, instead of going back to the page again on this device and highlighting it, to be able to paste it in via this device, too.
Why is tonight better?
I weirdly feel so much more content with life tonight, whereas last night had those awful dark night of the soul elements to it. And not everyone is going to get the same things out of this movie.
Hiroshima Mon Amour
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hiroshima_mon_amour
But I guess seeing others process trauma is cathartic for me. And I also feel like I'm learning the history of what people inherit when others don't process trauma. It's a violent world. I can't deny it.
Tonight also was a good time to experience pink peppercorn shavings in soup, and finally, the bottle of pink wine named after "The Milkmaid and her Pail"
"2023 Reserve Skin Contact Albariño" | The Fableist Wine Company
https://fableistwine.com/product#/2023-reserve-albarino
It's good that not everyone is super sensitive.
Two people are ready to watch a film with me, but I'm too full after dinner. So I say, I can't do it yet, and inside I'm like, oh my God, I'm dying. What if I get really sick? Oh my God, why am I like this? Oh my God, what if I have to go seek medical treatment? Oh my God, I don't want to. Please let me just hide in my room.
And then an hour later...I'm like, okay, now I can watch the film. No more thoughts of dire outcomes.
Kind of a lot to deal with, sometimes.
I don't know if I'm just babbling or chasing paper or what.
Paper used to be really different!
'How the Medieval Book Industry Worked"
https://www.medievalists.net/2026/11/medieval-book-industry/
This is probably what the teacher in that other TikTok video was talking about.
"Families on edge after ICE activity reported across Moreno Valley, including near elementary school" - ABC7 Los Angeles
It's good for your soul. 💐💀🥀
Do not forget to plan to show a kid who got out of a concentration camp a lot more love than you're showing them right now.
I can't read this! There's a lot online about their American counterparts anyway. 😱
"Bake and obey: meet the British tradwives"
https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/sex-relationships/article/british-tradwives-gt0s0h8j8
"I faithfully promised my sister that I was absolutely brought up to have the same standards for men as I was to have for women."
That sounds like a lot of b******* to me!
I do think her jokes sound better for a variety of reasons.
There's her face. There's her mouth. There's her body. There's her weight. There's her hair color. There's her eye color. There's all kinds of things!
I know my brothers aren't superficial and hung up on weight and looks when it comes to women whatsoever.
I would like my brothers to explain themselves by comparing my behaviors and the things I do and say to the behaviors and things that the women they prefer do and say.
Where did I learn about this when I was a kid?
I actually learned about it from my Grandpa in Michigan on his farm and he laughed about it and was making excuses for why they had to weigh the stewardesses. Sigh...
"Watch your weight"
siahfriedcoach
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfaIKt6TSCV/?xtok=cjRwaWkwN2hpZHpk
This is part of the Feminist Renaissance experience.
Come feel the love with me, Brothers! Or else...
"Watch your weight"
siahfriedcoach
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfaIKt6TSCV/?xtok=cjRwaWkwN2hpZHpk
Tried a technique and the headache is dissipating!
I just had to ask it something. I found a great phrase: "Pluralistic Ignorance."
😊😊😊😊😊😊
Just forget everything except the sound bath 🎶💎🥣🏞️.
The sound bath is smarter. And much more relaxing.
"Forest Koshi Chime | Gentle & Grounding Sound Bath"
@AlignedMuse
Oh no!
Oh shoot. I thought my headache was going away, and now it came back again. Okay, I know I have different genetics, and I'm going to be okay with that really soon.
I feel like her jokes about moms and famous men have added more to my dance through life today.
"Katherine Ryan's Unfiltered Opinions"
800pgmslices
Is it a shadowy shadow work collective thing?
"It's a collective thing." Also I feel hot and a headache is coming on so I'm going to try to do an energy balancing rooster comb hold on myself. But I'm going to read this article later, when it will be more enjoyable. Because it looks like it would be fun for me to read, for some reason.
"How the Medieval Book Industry Worked"
https://www.medievalists.net/2026/11/medieval-book-industry/
Back to the present...
"Weekend Update: Elon Musk on His Tough Week"
SNL
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N5Ws09EYV3s&si=xieeCkoiIF2mjGpQ
"Weekend Update: Democrats Win Control of Congress"
SNL
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NB15mTMlKck&si=d5VS1S85c6Pn4zpu
"Weekend Update: Two People Who Just Hooked Up"
SNL
It sounds ridiculous, but it really feels like this.
You have to trick me into feeling like earning money for creating something is going to enhance rather than cheapen a story or a work of art. And I hate to reference this again because I know I'm going to get in lots of trouble for it, but Anne Frank never made any money and look at her book and who it touched. People read her book and gain a whole different consciousness from their parents. People break away from their families and say I cannot go along with my family because I know they wouldn't have hidden Anne Frank. Her book is very, very powerful. I got a strong impression that her book was powerful when I was very young. And then it seemed like something about it followed me around. I went to the Netherlands, and for some reason, on the day I went to their hiding place, it was really unusually not busy, and I knew it was going to be that way because I was told (not by the people but by some sort of higher guidance) ahead of time that on the day I went it wouldn't be busy. I feel like people who were involved with that situation are like almost Spirit guides to me or something. So as far as that goes, I don't know why it still must be in my head this way, but it still is in my head this way, and it won't stop being in my head this way, so I feel like there must be a very good reason for it.
Someday soon, this time will be 15 years in the past.
"Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959)" | trailer
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wnocAKccEqc&si=K7M6-sfsjZNqfIwz
And it is a different experience to watch this film now than it was when I was young.
"Hiroshima Mon Amour: The Paradox of Sharing Memory"
rezamirzaiee
Oh my God, okay I'm going back to my healing music now.
I am judgy sometimes because I'm trying to push people into another level of experience. I'm trying to push you into a better part of the swimming pool. It's going to be more fun to swim there.
Looks like this will be very funny for me to watch later!
But first, the angels will give me some healing music and my Zen coloring app to help me ease into my morning.
"The Psychology Of Success Is Mostly Luck"
@barryseconomics
People make progress. 👑
If he was a lothario in a past life, he can be better in this one. If she was an a****** to women yesterday, she can be less of an a****** tomorrow. Feminist Renaissance is upon us.
I can ask for help from angels and higher sources.
Hurt people hurt people and employ a Just World Theory to make excuses for insensitive people. Angels and higher sources don't do those things.
Because living this life in this body is challenging right now.
I need a higher power to help me heal the sorrow today, and the feeling of suffering from soul crushing depression, a headache, and soreness of gums around several teeth on the upper left side.
Saturday, November 07, 2026
It's cold out there. I don't want to be out there right now.
I felt some kind of crushing defeat affecting me earlier but what makes it a little better is that I got to stop being outdoors and retreat to my room. I am a big retreater when things get too overwhelming, and it's a great survival strategy in my opinion. Also when things feel bad maybe it's time to be grateful because that's information. That's information! Accept the information. Some better way is going to present itself. That would be beautiful. And then one day you're going to be able to make your pain into something that's kind of fun or funny and relatable and helpful for relaxing. That's how people end up making comedies.
Not everything gets fixed quickly in this realm.
It's kinda tough because ppl can see you and have a heart for you but still not know what's best for you. That's why it's good to be curious and more about learning sometimes.
Traumas are being processed. Humor is returning to the planet!
Siouxsie And The Banshees - "Kiss Them For Me"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6MC9MvqoHhs&si=Oahpw_EyVLwbuCSX
My sister sent me a picture where she's wearing some really cool glasses and I said it's time for me to get some new glasses and I'm going to show them a picture of yours and I said and I'm going to ask them to give me a teeny tiny nose with it and then she sent another picture and said close up of the glasses and she'd scrunched up her face to make her nose and her mouth look really big and weird and kinda messed up and I laughed.
Feeling amused in a dark room!
I think this is a good time to process some trauma.
I think I'll be renting Hiroshima Mon Amour. The last time I saw the whole thing I was much younger and had experienced less in life and it will be different to watch it now.
Now.👯♀️👯🏼♀️
All of the men need to be fine with the knowledge that most of the world's film directors, CEOs and presidents are women. And it's a weirdly violent world for both men and women. But for some reason, violence against men never counts as much as violence against women. When violence against women happens, they are war heroines. When violence against men happens, they are just house husbands who made a bad choice and didn't know how to get out of it. The men need to look just as effortlessly skinny as B. Dylan Hollis and have his eye color and his hair color and they must eat all his recipes with just as much gusto. That's the standard now! Sorry. If you look like him, you will get paid more and you will marry richer.
This is just how life works in this era.
"No.#women#women"
ItsMeSarah
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTPLDALCT/
But don't you want to be like everybody else who can have fun when everybody else is all having fun because they don't care about and because having fun is what's most important to them...
Apparently not. Not if it's just gonna feel like rape culture.
See I won't just do the "won't someone think of the children in concentration camps" thing.
Have you any ideas about how to seem like less of a bully to a traumatized person of any age? Multiple ages? That could be something good to talk about. Oh, here's another thing. If there's a certain type of traumatized person you'd be especially good at working with, how do you know, and why?
What are you doing? What is going on?
"Weekend Update: Tucker Carlson Reviews the Summer’s Blockbuster Films"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KD5zPrsEz6M&si=nU0DdSjj6Z9H3gq7
I ate delicious chewy hard gluten free bread on the wrong side of the mouth again today and now I'm inflamed and aggravated but it's going to die down and it's not nearly as bad as last night. I'll go drink a turmeric shot or something when I'm motivated. I was motivated this morning. I did muscle fatiguing things this morning and now I'm not as motivated. Because I don't want to be motivated. Motivation is not my friend right now. Motivation will be my friend later when I want it to be.
I have an opinion about nature and people. Stand back...
People who are different should spend more time in nature if they ever hang out together. Because nature can calm down things and smooth the rough edges.
And that is just how it seems sometimes.
Fine. I guess if other people have to have the more empirical experiences too, they'll just have them either later in this life or in the next life then.
Sometimes Patriarchy is like a cracker salad from Georgia!
"Georgia does cracker salad"
B. Dylan Hollis
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLV9xMek/
Like okay but there's so many other things you could be making...
Time to have some better deals come our way.
"Patriarchy was never about who's physically stronger"
boulderpsychicinstitute
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfYlkv_NiYY/?srtk=YW4wOGRqdWhpd3Ez
Creativity is such a beautiful gift to experience from humanity...
Maybe this has been a life in which I thought having less money made me feel more grounded. Maybe? Perhaps I felt like it made the energy move more quickly. And would help more people in the long run. Maybe it was just supposed to be how I experienced things this time around, for a while.
Things are kind of okay, actually.
I've kind of had good experiences. Feels like people read my stuff. Feels like DJs played songs because of what I wrote. Feels like nice little surprises have been happening off and on and they might keep on happening. It's not so bad, actually.
Now I feel better. I'm surprised.
I just allowed myself to be truly and honestly sad. And that made me feel more relaxed and happy.
Perhaps I will seek to feel something new today.
Honestly, I just still feel a bit sad about the way some people are behaving.
Hey 😉
I would wear some of those clothes for a special occasion. Especially the ones that look more comfortable and don't require a girdle.
"But remember, America was so great..."
streetlighteyesdontdie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbU1sYvOlW3/?psln=MXFwa210MG43Y2c1MA==
Signs of the times...
Monarch butterflies, a picture of a plague doctor Halloween costume, a shorter haircut with the note that the person sporting it is "tired of men of looking at her in a certain way." It's all real!
She was not so fortunate as a teenager. Perhaps he wasn't either?
"Fans of the Movie, The LOVER...Look at what was uncovered..."
And that's thanks to all the feminist content that came to my attention by way of scrolling.
I have high hopes for your rising levels of curiosity.
Haha just a sliver of human experience was itching to come out without digging at it with a needle.
"I can tell by the way you've changed your personality since you've gotten married that your husband can't stand chicks like me."
Yeah yeah all right.
"The brothers and sisters of the Patriarchal Earth World do favor certain types of traumatized women sometimes if they act and look in very specific and particular ways. So I disagree with what you say now."
Moving onwards. With sisterly thoughts...
In a *"Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy"* voice, but a bit more feminine:
"Have you ever noticed that the world loves to care about a traumatized man, and not so much the other way around? Maybe you should ask your moms about that sometime."
*"Traumatized Thoughts"*
To be fair, not so rich people are also weird.
"People pay more for an object a celebrity touched"
@barryseconomics
Super rich people can be very strange.
Elon sat in the middle seat on two flights in coach. The middle seat!
Can you guess how many menstruation activists I had heard of when I was a teenager. Period. Not even saying male or female.
Just guess.
"'Diana' honorees include teen guy who's a menstruation activist"
https://www.npr.org/2026/11/07/g-s1-152225/princess-diana-honor-menstruation-stigma
The generosity of it all!
I'm really excited about this new world filled with empathy and guys who definitely don't want to be part of the Cornell 50 or the Cornell 7 or any sort of Epstein Island Dynamics.
I know I should drop this, but...
I have never, not one single time in my entire life, heard a group of women talking about how much they liked a guy because he went from this percentage of body fat to that percentage of body fat. I have never, ever, ever heard that. I'm not saying it hasn't happened. Like, probably there's women who make fat loss recipe videos who would do it?
I think I will try to have mostly liquids or soft foods today.
Some of you guys are not as funny as you think you are, and you're going to look really messed up in the future if you don't change.
I think next year is going to be better.
I think next year is going to be different in a good way. I'm sorry I've suffered so much. I apologize to me. I have struggled and crawled and experienced alarming fluctuations in temperature. I have gotten a lot of knowledge about how messed up the patriarchy is in a very empirical way. Is it finally enough?
Hey, it's Margarita and some of her works.
Marguerite Duras was in the Resistance. Of course she was.
"Marguerite Duras" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marguerite_Duras
"Marguerite Duras called The Lover ‘a load of shit’"
"The Lover⧸ L'amant (1992)"
BEAUTY & MUSIC
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cS2VWAI5b9w&si=g4CMCSNcVzveieoU
"Hiroshima, Mon Amour: place, memory, love and death"
CinemaCities1978
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HUySvek-wS8&si=FpV10fKLkIaKNR6b
"Hiroshima, Mon Amour (1959) - Memory, Trauma, and"
Cinema Callback
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pYUlfbTFFEk&si=l0P03DGn7cTXG7Vv
Oh my God, that's the long podcast bro version but maybe I will try...
And yet. This is Epstein class stuff.
By the way, this guy's more advanced than a repressed 19th Century banker because he's not seducing a poor young maid, and the sex worker actually gets paid real money. And yet...
Lo Fidelity Allstars - "Battleflag"
I have to relax more. What a ridiculous predicament.
Just honoring the corner of my life where I'm crying for the businessman who are going to keep on going until they die and reincarnate as maids.
Friday, November 06, 2026
It's good to heal that things could get better soon.
Things could get clearer. I got very clear tonight that I like the cat. The cat is good. Pet the cat. But also heal your body. I have to be able to believe that healing can take precedence over some other stuff. Maybe I won't even name the other stuff because what's the point. It's just that sometimes we really need to believe that healing is going to be the one that's most in charge.
Some old systems were running.
Maybe triple warmer was a part of it. Maybe it was a triple warmer thing, too. It's better to break down and just relinquish stuff and give up some old ways, but triple warmer will want to come in again so you have make friends with your triple warmer, don't you? There for a good reason. Triple warmer smoothie...
It's better when pain gets more muted.
That's just nicer. I don't know why pain is such an equalizer. It makes a lot of other things not seem to matter anymore. Only peace and freedom from pain or at least less pain with the promise of freedom from pain to come.
Humans experience pain even if they're doing the best they can, sometimes with the skills they've acquired.
I started to experience quite a lot this evening. It's around a tooth that wasn't bothering me earlier but it was bothering me yesterday but then it got better today. But after I ate what I chose to eat this evening, I think some kind of inflammation has flared up. So I've brushed and flossed and swished with coconut oil and xylitol mouthwash and taken turmeric and ginger and ibuprofen and flower essences and some homeopathic stuff. And now I'm going to do the selenite stick and Donna ate an energy medicine stuff. It stressed me out to think of going back to the dentist and getting clucked at for having a traumatic response that injured teeth. It doesn't help to get clucked at. Pain... Perhaps it could be subsiding. Upper left area. Perhaps around the fourth tooth back where there's a crown and it used to have a post and it no longer has a post. I don't know why people make the decisions they make. I guess focusing on healing is just what needs to happen the most right now. Pain is a huge cry for help. So I will be diligent about trying to help myself right now.
This was really good to listen to today.
"Day 5 - Self- Love | 5 Days To Happiness"
kristinamand-lakhiani2176
https://youtube.com/watch?v=eK7C6_FkrO0&si=BEFI1xiDg3F0PAHV
She touched a little bit on healthy self-love versus narcissism.
The part that keeps sticking in my head without having to go back and consult a text is that self-care is just a part of self-love. Self-care is perhaps 1/3 of self-love. And self-love is bigger than just self-care.
Society really should make an investment in healing traumatized individuals.
Especially considering all that's been going on in this country since some people were mesmerized into voting for a narcissist. And that's a person who does not seem to have ever processed the concept of "With great power comes great responsibility."
It's been awhile since I've watched The View.
"'East Of Eden' Cast Discusses The Complex Characters"
The View
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cmn-6P_RtE4&si=A78g7qMYDvnOOAfU
I kind of feel as though when Cathy got almost beaten to death by her "lover," she was never the same. But then again, she burned down her house while the mother was still in it. Mother didn't really protect her from the rages of Father. But maybe she is a bit of a sociopath. Perhaps she took after her father in some ways? Hmmm.
In case I fall asleep too early again tonight to rewatch East of Eden...
"My favorite part..."
florencepugh
https://www.instagram.com/p/DeKp2StEg5R/?img_index=2&xtok=MWptaTlveDFzcjZjMg==
"Category:Photographs by William I. Goldman"
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Photographs_by_William_I._Goldman
I wish I had studied Latin. Besides a little bit in Duolingo.
People who understand Latin can enjoy classical Latin courses for free here. It's supposed to be kind of like a replica of what people used to experience when they went to college in other centuries.
"Universitas Scholarium"
Hooray for the best crusty bread to go with soup.
Possibly the best gluten-free bread I've ever tasted.
It makes me think of sunlight on hills and flowers and things growing.
🎶🎶🎶🎶
Woman's World!
2026 American Edition
"Manthropology"
hollymsolem
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfZ_t7oJkwm/?dlrf=enZxbjh5MmVvNzhz
"She said"
tiny.tobasco
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfaNNTnzkcE/?dlrf=ZmIweG9oaXlyNnpq
"If women received the same punishment"
boredwalk
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfYYmnvystN/?psln=MXB0bjRpODczaXUybw==
"ICE kidnapped a third grader"
chelseagodss
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfainGBPOWq/?rpxt=Y3phYmx2MTNsY2ti
Crunchy slices of tiny cabbages dipped in guacamole
"Gaslighting in healthcare is real"
doctormichellegordon
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfV7yFxu7ij/?exln=MTh4NGx6dHcwcHhzaA==
"this is one of my favorite accomplishments"
indoorgirl111
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfQo0agN8hS/?cplk=MW8xd2NuNmpweTd3ag==
"pls no more"
_thelifeofc
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfPqUpLv1mo/?rpxt=MWI3bXNuYWoxd2xzcw==
"Unbelievable"
ricardosalvadormirandaa
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfZx8lTBQhQ/?cplk=YTRma3IyamtzbWpr
Eating a lot of shaved crunchy veggies with a vegan Caesar dressing and gluten-free bread crumbs.
Under the cat's watchful eye.
My favorite coloring app is back!
Zen Color! I used it a lot in the past when I was having panic attacks (like when I was trying to heal from deep dread or anxiety about concentration camps that probably came from a bad experience in a different lifetime) or waiting for some sort of dental procedure. And then it just stopped working. I don't think I've had it on my phone for at least a year. But now it's back. Zen Color. It's like an old friend! I'm very excited. I have got to go color something now.
Three online things that drew my attention this afternoon...
"maybe men shouldn't be in charge of anything, actually"
@yv_edit
https://youtube.com/watch?v=iWubn86C-Fw&si=1JR9tiPNRiigPJ-g
"The day..."
Steve Nobel
https://youtube.com/post/UgkxSJ4K45dynCodUSoLHp14IwfG9gTIw8WI?si=u5Kc6s7wUlIDEQaA
"IMPEACH TRUMP and ABOLISH ICE"
sidewalkschool2
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfaVP4dhe_u/?dlrf=MWo2aDgzcHRjYmNhYQ==
Something to listen to while crocheting or working on a puzzle. Something to listen to while crocheting or working on a puzzle...
"Gayatri Spivak: The Trajectory of the Subaltern in my Work"
UCTV
Another book that sounds interesting to read...
Perhaps with salad or lentil soup, plus some crusty bread and a glass of wine.
"Jaenada has made a speciality of reinvestigating old French crimes. His winning book reconstructs the unsolved 1949 murder of Louise Cansot, a 29-year-old Breton artists’ model known in Montparnasse as 'the woman with 100 portraits.'"
Emma Loffhagen
"Winner of the Prix Goncourt literary prize admits to using AI"
"True crime novel about 1949 murder of Paris life model wins France’s biggest literary prize"| Books | The Guardian
Can't hardly wait.
Some people really do have a lot of privilege in this life. It's going to be so much fun to talk about that sometime.
Thursday, November 05, 2026
I have decided to start changing my habits.
Boundaries! Would I allow the behavior of others to upset me too much? It starts to affect my health in a negative manner and I can feel little twinges and I know that if I let that go then I have to start going to the doctor and getting all these tests done and it's not fun.
So I am changing my habits. I am doing this for myself and for the health of my internal organs. I have a bunch of ideas for healthy recipes that I have made in the past when I've been on a real health kick real vegetable kick and I got some of the vegetables and I'm really pleased about it.
I am not doing this to please some rich people or some tech bros or whatever. I do not care what you guys think. Actually I do care what you think a little bit, but then I just get angry and feel like rebelling as if I'm a scary little sister or a scary big sister. So I probably was rich in another life and I'm sick of rich people bullying other people within their own families as well as being bad to poor people. Rich guys bully sisters in their own families. You guys should think about why some people don't want to be rich.
Not everyone's going to suck up to you. That's not the way it goes.
I was looking up kitten heels because of the New York Times Connections puzzle and I was like, Oh yeah that's cute, and I could admire different types of shoes as artistic works. In those moments I'm like, oh yeah, I was rich in another life. Yep.
If you actually think women in this day and age should do things to cater to the male gaze, then I want you to research that topic and, using your own brain, write five pages or more with a minimum of six secondary sources on the pros and cons of doing so and include a Works Cited page.
It's a shame. Hopefully the less fortunate meet better people soon.
Some people's narcissistic entitlement b******* survival strategies were what made perpetuating the genocidal patterns possible.
Carry on with your chilling entitlement b******* if you really must.
I hope somebody who truly suffered during this time marries into your family someday and lets you know what an uncomforting, narcissistic, uncaring, disassociated, prejudiced person you acted like. I hope the younger people in your family grow up to act like they are capable of being much better to other human beings than you.
Here's another thing you should say when you gain the bravery to do so.
"I had to act like you, and other people, were worthless in order to fit in with my friends. If I did not, I would lose my friends. I had to disregard your experiences and the experiences of others and to dehumanize you and them in order to maintain my status."
Your tax dollars at work, still.
"A mom with an active asylum case was deported within an hour."
iceabuses
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfX_a2FE_R4/?srtk=MmNxZTYyMjUxb3hu
Some people should hear this.
"You and your friend should be more honest and articulate about which type of people you do and don't value."
Could be part of the reason.
"I bet you're that way because you've had a lot of health challenges in this life and you felt like nobody wanted to hear about them."
"The Wren, the Wren by Anne Enright" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/77265006-the-wren-the-wren
More bad jokes. I can keep 'em coming!
When men of means say them, they call them "Dad jokes." This is just like me and the tobacco-free clove cigarette I just smoked!! J/K J/K !! just kidding just kidding...
'Random YouTube Recommendations"
thenumberchar
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtWz2ZmvlWT/?cplk=MXhmZWdiemhnaDA4cQ==
They said they put him with his mom tho.
"That's a KID!"
thesidewalkschool2
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfXa4JCB5OC/?exln=ZnRzNXk1bHRqYTc0
Bad jokes are part of the creative process sometimes.
Look, it's like a prescient visual and musical representation of when they let an immigrant out of a concentration camp.
Blind Melon - "No Rain"
I've seen a picture of a checkered lily. Now I feel like I want to see it IRL someday.
Page 85, Garden Gate Magazine, Spring 2026.
The internet calls it snake's head fritillary.
"How to Grow Snake's Head Fritillary"
David Domoney
It's just a slowly developing thing.
I feel like a potential contestant on creative project camera.
"Was Candid Camera really that popular?"
I could swear I read this quote for the first time in one of the three Cleveland Amory books I used to own.
"If I were a lesser man..."
For some reason, I got three of his cat lover books when I was a child. But I no longer own any of them. Guess what I have to do now....
The cat who came for Christmas ; The cat and the curmudgeon; The best cat ever
https://archive.org/details/catwhocameforchr0000amor_l1o9/page/123/mode/1up
Well, so far I just found the passage about California girls being strange.
It's good to always be striving!
I'm so grateful for people who remind me I have to work my ass off to get a fraction of the way onwards (if you look at the situation through a certain lens, that is).
Are you aware that the vast majority of wombs in the world are childless right now??????
I was driving by a bunch of daytura flowers when I thought of that; they must have given me the message.
Brighter every day. 🌤️🙏🏼🧙🏼♀️🌄🌻
The possibility of running into people who are becoming likely to let their feminist light shine more brightly than they were ever expected to is getting higher.
I feel blessed. I'm going to go fatigue some muscles soon.
"Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson (Author of Self-Reliance and Other Essays)"
https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/12080.Ralph_Waldo_Emerson
I wonder if "satan" is inflammatory?
I think it was supposed to be seitan. Don't forget the coriander!
"🫛 LAZY GIRL LUNCH FOR FAT LOSS! 🌮🔥 Just 420 Calories"
broccoli_mum
God, his kid looked really disappointed.
She doesn't suffer from reproductive health issues, she doesn't. She's still the illegitimate child tho. Did you see how that maid looked at him?
Lo Fidelity Allstars - "Battleflag"
Stop the patriarchal game. Stop the insanity. Get a hold of yourself.
"Eldest daughters"
oonaoffthecuff
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfQgzwXtrp2/?dlrf=MWxvbXluN3ozbmdhMw==
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