Siiiiigh.
I have to stop being a housewife soon. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Talking about getting tickets and going to a concert gets stressful. I offered to pay for it with money in a savings account but...The feeling of irritation persists.
Maybe we could read Rilla of Ingleside, and how, as a teenager, she adopts an almost orphan baby? Almost an orphan because the baby still has a father, but he is away, fighting in the war.
"I feel like Rilla of Ingleside is one of the best books I've experienced in my life"
"Good day sunshine, white people feel fine, white people's music is more important than your basic human rights.... Ugh! This is so degrading."
Perhaps not:
"Hey, do you think you're going to have any friends or family members of yours locked away in one of the detention centers before this is over?"
Probably not:
"Hey do you think any of your friends are going to get unjustly killed just by being pulled over in a traffic stop? What if they have little kids?"
How should I have a conversation like this with somebody and not have them shut me down?
I got in the pool again for the first time in a couple years.
The lifeguards were playing '80s music. "Take My Breath Away..."
After my swimming laps experience, I'm calling this swimsuit "crotch goblin." I think it's better for the hot tub. But I still like it.
I told myself I'd be fine if I did ten laps. But it felt like my body was saying just one more. Just one more. I missed swimming! I think I did more like thirty. Granted, these were leisurely laps. Some of them involved just holding on to the kickboard and kicking across the pool. Lots of side stroke. Lots of backstroke. I was there for more than an hour and a half. When I finally decided to stop. I swam over to the ladder and I was glad that I did because as I got out of the pool, the exhaustion hit. I have not felt that way after swimming in quite a long time.
It's a pool that was used in the Olympic trials and when I left, I smiled as I passed the scoreboard and looked at the name "M. Phelps." Because I remembered the friend I made in graduate school who said he liked to swim in a leisurely way, and how a fellow swimming class student had yelled at him, "Go Michael Phelps!" That always makes me think of somebody swimming in a leisurely fashion and not caring what other people think, ha-ha.
Now I have to de-stress because I started thinking about the conversation I had with a friend who never wants to think about the ICE raids. I wanted to chew on a finger and I slightly did. Because I still feel incredibly upset when I think about how that whole thing went. I don't understand why she had to shut it down like that. But I understand shutting down the conversation if somebody's saying I'm getting overwhelmed and I'll need to talk about it later. I understand that. I understand that sometimes you need to end those conversations. But the way it happened felt really brutal.
These are some intense times to be living in.
It can be very tough because some people do not want to hear it and they do not want to believe you, because they want to believe their own narratives about how things work. Yes, there are inconsistencies sometimes. Yes, there are times when things get inaccurately reported.
"Did Johan Sebastian Guerrero's daughter witness ICE agent fatally shooting him?"
https://www.snopes.com/news/2026/07/15/joan-guerrero-shooting-daughter/
If you're supposed to provide people with entertainment, and that is your purpose in life, how are you doing it and for reasons? Are you using it to help us or are you using it to distract or run over the less fortunate people because that that's what you were taught you were supposed to do in order to serve an oppressive system?
"Today this mother was on her way to her chemotherapy appointment..."
flowerinspanish
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da0uHUIvE2M/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Men sleep better"
annaakana
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da25Vt8qFAO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"He was the only cat who stuck around..."
catdaddy.dan
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ6G9cBuDYL/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"My granny loved..."
haesicks
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ5t8pxJ4cy/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I just want to get a little physically smaller so I can have more options if I'm thrift store shopping.
Plastic yogurt spoon is usually for cat food but today it is mixing up the breakfast concoction.
I bet if I was rich and talented and got pregnant and gave birth to a real baby I could get soooo many men to treat me like I was a GODDESS!
So creeped out, and feeling totally justified about not liking watching that show. Aaaaaaah!!!!
"Please please please be careful..."
thebrittanyrambo
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da007SPTyNx/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
To scream under a waterfall!
"whatever the problem is..."
clear.visionlife
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXuLfPDE6Y9/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Please please please be careful..."
thebrittanyrambo
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da007SPTyNx/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Sorry you raised an independent, safety conscious, childless cat lady?"
roamerknowshowe
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DapAzUJPxWT/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Maybe a lot of people are just feeling frightened, and they need something tangible to cling to.
"To have someone #weaponize their deep 'seeing' of you..."
autisticalyx
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da1WSbZt2w5/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"ICE has detained more than 650 children in California under Trump’s deportation crackdown" | EdSource
https://edsource.org/2026/trump-california-child-detentions/762148
"Under Biden, most children in ICE detention came from the border and were released. Transfers between facilities were uncommon. Under Trump, most children were apprehended in the interior and deported. Many were sent to family detention facilities outside California."
Yuxuan Xie
"From border to neighborhoods: ICE detainments of children shift under Trump"
https://edsource.org/2026/california-child-immigration-biden-trump/762170
If you think you can't make art without acting like shallow bread and circuses assholes, maybe you just have low self-esteem from being servile to the patriarchal white supremacy for far too long.
"From border to neighborhoods: ICE detainments of children shift under Trump"
https://edsource.org/2026/california-child-immigration-biden-trump/762170
"Maine Mourns After ICE Killing: ‘A Man Was Lynched Here’"
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/maine-protests-ice-killing-1235594283/
"The use of force has become a 'default tool' for ICE officers, a new report finds"
https://www.npr.org/2026/07/16/nx-s1-5891834/ice-use-of-force-aclu-report
"Trump says ICE should do traffic stops despite new suspension after shootings"
https://apnews.com/live/trump-administration-ice-dhs-updates-07-15-2026
"ICE Is Out of Control. Here’s What to Do About It"
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/16/opinion/ice-killing-maine-houston-guerrero-araujo.html
I fell in a pothole in a parking lot at night. I felt afraid. I skinned my knees. I couldn't seem to move my body very well right away.
Two young Latino men, one on foot, and one in a car, at a respectful distance, asked if I was okay, and asked if I could get up. I said yes. I would be okay.
I picked myself up. I went into the restaurant and I told the waitress about the pothole, and I showed it to her so it would get fixed.
Do you suppose ICE agents ever watch certain kinds of comedy skits to decompress, and then go back to work and inflict stupid power dynamics b******* on people who are less fortunate? Because I have a very deep feeling that has already happened. It's a bodily communication thing.
I don't live with a man who has abused his power. Other men have abused their power, and they haven't fully healed and taken accountability for their actions. They have not been mature enough.
I cannot live with people who are like that right now. And I don't want to work with people who are like that right now either. It's a deep reaction that I have in my body.
I had a dream about being a maid in a rich person's household. Rich people made mistakes and the maid was supposed to pay for them.
Irresponsible people are incredibly damaging and self-serving. My body has a reaction that tells me not to go along with what they're doing.
It doesn't matter if they're being funny or in a creative field and putting out work and making money. My body doesn't care. My body tells me to get away from those people right now.
I'm going to try this because I tried something she created before and I can tell she's a good person who's truly interested in helping people.
"Clearing trauma from ages 3-5 (initiative vs. guilt)"
JadeCosmicIntelligence
They used American tax dollars to kill a little girl's Dad.
“'I’m Ashamed of My Country': Biddeford, Maine Locals Grieve Neighbor Killed by ICE" – Mother Jones
Breathe through the feelings, the death experiences.
Other people have experienced real deaths recently, too.
Feeling neglected and oppressed and not listened to resulted in psychologically distressing experiences and dental problems. And I have a feeling I'm going to have to have more work done in the future. I've had dreams about it.
I kind of feel like I am in mourning.
I feel like trauma and PTSD is devastating. I mean, it has real physical consequences. Has a lot of other consequences, too. The oppression that's happening now is really making me feel like crying. I don't understand how other people don't feel like crying more often. I really just don't get it, sometimes.
I think even if I had a mortgage to pay it would not distract me so much from what was happening as it does others. Other people have mortgages to pay, too, but they don't have circumstances which allow them to ignore what's going on.
Yeah, I basically feel like we've been invaded. We've been invaded by forces that are messing with us. It doesn't surprise me if people make comparisons to Nazis and to the Gestapo in WWII and things like that.
This odd movie with Spanish subtitles.
"All This And World War II 1976"
Sometimes I feel like a lot of men in this culture were trained to consider their desires and self-promote more than they were encouraged to love or respect others with an eye towards what might be best for the greater good. So maybe that's something that society and humanity can work on evolving.
"Inland Empire" | Screen Slate
https://www.screenslate.com/articles/inland-empire
So...
"Inland Empire - Why This Disturbing Film Was Too Weird for Hollywood"
"Weekend Update: Lord Gaga on His Unwavering Support"
SNL
Kate Bush - "Suspended in Gaffa - Official Music Video"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V3XAeg3B0To&si=XXDEj-EBoOj_kxRY
"Yosemitebear Mountain Double Rainbow 1-8-10"
@Hungrybear9562
I made spaghetti and put it with some cheese under a broiler because I wanted to feel like I was eating something out of a restaurant and I just don't even know if it was worth it but it did taste good.
My heroes.
"Soul Agreements, Karma & Human Responsibility | Can Both Be True?"
@joannecary
Thistle - "OVER THE GARDEN WALL (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cVIcPnU54Vk&si=eLMCLVGTHb_ZOwqR
Thistle Band
Thyme is the correct spelling. It flavors broth well. And also, you can make a tea out of it.
"Even though I'm having a terrible day, I love and accept myself." Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap tap.
It's like, even working a lot doesn't cut it if you don't have the right genetics for the f****** white supremacist patriarchal society.
“'The majority of the people that we interviewed were people who were detained following traffic stops,' César said. 'Nearly all of them told us they had work permits or other forms of authorization to be in the United States.'”
~ Patrick Terpstra
"New claims of human rights violations center on Texas ICE detention camp"
Why???
"Apologies in advance"
biancawestwood
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYF93bOskoA/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Your wife..."
jholachaap.aaluu
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZrsM8khFEk/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"#men #women #feminism"
owen.squires
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DawJfBZOuMC/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
🎶🎶🎶
"too much labour❤️🔥"
@parispaloma
Can you believe that when I was 21 and I was in South America, my boyfriend at the time and a middle-aged man shop owner pressured me into buying a smaller and tighter size of pants than I wanted to buy. They were so f****** disapproving. I wish I could go back and see the look on my face when I gave in and went along with what they wanted. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a very happy face at all. These were cargo pants by the way. Meant to be worn on long hikes in the rainforest.
She was an older woman. She was real nice to me, nicer than she had to be. It was a really nice encounter. She was very helpful. Thanks.
"When Worry Turns Out to Be Something Else | Intuition, Fear & Discernment"
joannecary
😡😭😱
"Why do people not understand..."
the_greek_cherokee
"Federal agents track down Syracuse woman, demand she remove Instagram post about ICE" - syracuse.com
"Something suspicious: Maine ICE Shooting"
Parkrose Permaculture
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6C5btY404IM&si=Naf8Tb803JkiJqUL
Rage Against The Machine - "Killing In the Name (Of"
"Something suspicious: Maine ICE Shooting"
Parkrose Permaculture
https://youtube.com/watch?pv=6C5btY404IM&si=Naf8Tb803JkiJqUL
You just never know...
Arcade Fire - "My Body Is A Cage (HD Version)"
I'm still recovering from the knowledge of the monstrosity that is my friend's mortgage. Two and a half bathrooms and multiple bedrooms for one person who doesn't have a roommate and doesn't want one. I mean that's not so bad in and of itself, but the idea that being the owner of those things necessitates such an uncompromising attitude towards the well-being of fellow human beings...
That's what's really scary.
Anyways, kudos to all those people who would try harder than some others not to be a guard at a Nazi concentration camp for the money.
There are also those who would give up their house and live in an apartment rather than be a guard at a Nazi concentration camp.
You know, Miep Gies lived in an apartment.
"People deserve more rights than a duck 🦆"
ohgeewallace
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dax5WE9Rb1b/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
“'He had a great vision for getting ahead, so many dreams to fulfill,' Omar Duran, the father of Joan Sebastian Guerrero, told Noticias Caracol, a Colombian news outlet, on Tuesday, speaking in Spanish. 'My son is a wonderful son — I don’t know why they did that to him.'
Mr. Guerrero, 25, lived in Biddeford, a small city south of Portland, where he worked as a food delivery driver and a late-night cleaner at a veterinary clinic. Mr. Duran said his son was in the United States legally."
~ Christina Morales et. al.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/14/us/joan-sebastian-guerrero-maine-ice-shooting.html
"The father of a Colombian immigrant shot and killed by a federal agent in Maine on Monday described him as 'a good person raised with strong values,' who worked two jobs to support his wife and 3-year-old daughter.'
So, how did the nation's father-in-laws have a hard time compromising in their relationships, in this era? What sorts of things did they have a hard time compromising about?
"IE Latino Voices: Increased immigration enforcement disrupting Latino families in Inland Empire" | KVCR News
I decided to take a break from Inland Empire and the app is acting like it wants me to watch the comedy film Slacker. But I'm taking a break from all film watching, actually.
Do you think the matriarchy will make people more inclined to be more balanced and kinder and healthier and able to accept more kinds of people?
What's the weird feeling in my womb? And the amount of physical pain I've gone through in this life because of having a womb. Sometimes having such severe cramps that I was throwing up. That stuff makes you feel like you're dying.
Sometimes people with certain genetics or in certain physical circumstances need to pay a lot more attention and take a lot more care.
I've been physically affected by circumstances. A tooth still feels not quite okay to me. But it's not about pain. It's more about movement.
The transition from screwdriver stuck in someone's side to a Mercedes-Benz car racing towards you when the commercial comes on, for example.
"Inland Empire (film)"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inland_Empire_(film)
Three "white" people (or white looking people) who were women were at the sushi bar today talking about how people also don't like talking about racism in South America. Or maybe it was the history of slavery. They also don't like talking about the history of slavery in South America, they were saying. Hmmm. I think it was both. They talked about Brazil and Peru, I remember.
In addition to being very sexist, this country is also feeling very racist these days, and it's all coming out in the places where you didn't expect to find it, but anyways, now I am watching my Inland Empire movie again! People are people.
Or crossovers, or notes in common???
Tori Amos - iieee - "Live - Sessions At West 54th 1998"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LWSRtvyg2Rc&si=FDbAueB-lNYrdIDH
US3 - "Cantaloop (Official Video HD)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KEE_V1yim04&si=GNzKAPiKNC-aZPGC
A fragile tooth is healing; no new crown is needed on it.
"ICE Kills 26-Year-Old Joan Sebastian Guerrero in Biddeford, Maine"
Democracy Now
"Maine ICE shooting live updates: Man killed by officers in Biddeford"
I love how the cat is SO good at relaxing and how she's SO happy being in her living space and she SO doesn't care about mortgages at all.
So many. You can't even count how many. You don't want to. Don't even start counting. Strap those knee pads on, right now.
"At least I didn't overreact"
gauriibhatiaa
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Daoe1oIprbE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"At least I didn't overreact"
gauriibhatiaa
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Daoe1oIprbE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Where the Girls Were, a review by Shelley – The Book Review Crew"
https://thebookreviewcrew.com/where-the-girls-were-a-review-by-shelley/
"A personal note: I had my oldest son three months shy of my eighteenth birthday. I raised him mostly on my own, with a lot of support from my parents and brother (who was an amazing father figure). My son is 42 this year, happily married, owns his own home, and is the vice president for the company he works for. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he has become, and he is the greatest thing I have ever done. Not bad for a kid born to an unwed teenage mother."
💖😻💖😻💖😻💖
"Of Note: Cats in Clara's Correspondence"
https://blogs.loc.gov/manuscripts/2024/10/of-note-cats-in-claras-correspondence/?loclr=thrloc
"Observing the more intimate aspects of a historical figure's life..."
It's all about Pa!
"Little House on the Prairie" | Official Trailer | Netflix
Enigma - "Sadeness - Part i (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=4F9DxYhqmKw&si=QU9oCHfR2n0PpZ6-
Ace of Base - "Happy Nation (Official Music Video)"
Every single day, there's another fresh article about it popping up.
Men clobber you in the face, and women say, I don't like your tone, and I'm ending this conversation. And then they still attend their Patriarchal Cult of Whatever Won't Work in Their Best Interest meetings on a regular basis.
"My friend's got a mortgage and I don't. She's clearly better than me in a lot of ways, including inheriting some money that helped a lot with the down payment."
How are the Favorite Sons doing? Maybe some Genetically Superior Moms will be attending a Sensual Dance class and crawl around on their knee pads and listen to some Cater to the Male Gays Music for them? This is just a joke, but it also really happens. Both things can be true simultaneously!
"At least I didn't overreact"
gauriibhatiaa
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Daoe1oIprbE/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I don't want to succeed and be a stupid, shallow, successful person. I just want to cry. Auuuuuugh, stupid people!
F*** you and f*** your stupid mortgage. You stupid, shallow, xxxxxxxxistic, selfish, mediocre, sexist a******!!!!
Ace of Base - "Happy Nation (Official Music Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HWjCStB6k4o&si=RBfCB-eY5TpSUCJS
I liked that other song with the Latin in it too that used to come on a lot.
Enigma - "Sadeness - Part i (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=4F9DxYhqmKw&si=QU9oCHfR2n0PpZ6-
That one makes me think of sitting on my father's couch in Monterey, California. Monterey was fun. It had a great library. I loved my library books. Even though I also read books about the Holocaust and they traumatized me. Monterey had beaches. And a Hello Kitty store? Although maybe that was actually in San Jose. It was close to Big Sur. It had rolling hills and Cannery Row and John Steinbeck. The apartment had a swimming pool. TCBY was a big deal. I might have read the book Melusine by Lynne Reid Banks in Monterey. But that was not from a library. I think somebody loaned it to me.
We stayed in Monterey for an extended period when my mother took a lot of business trips. My parents were educated and they didn't seem to feel too poor to raise children. And I know that a lot of ways, I felt very safe.
Or so they want you to believe, because it's actually way more complicated than that; it really is!!!
1983 DOCUMENTARY: The Pimp’s World
Like what The Patriarchy wants, seemingly!
"Teen Girl Bedroom Life Through Time"
vgraphs
https://youtube.com/shorts/dsmRCTGtKIM?si=acHLGCOPKwUWg_3w
I read the synopsis of Inland Empire and I know that there's a lot about prostitution in it. So I'm watching a little bit of the prostitution documentaries now, as a warm up. I already learned that Harold, the pimp, collects new girls by bailing them out of jail. The girls who already work for Harold recruit other girls from inside the jails.
"1983 DOCUMENTARY: The Pimp’s World"
