It was painful, but now I realize that choosing healing first is necessary for this type of body before the completion of creative projects can be realized. It was really funny that I got somebody laying out an entire plan for me to do a creative project with art and writing, like creating a children's book that has nature as its focus, and it overwhelmed me to the point where I felt like my body was just throwing up all these weird signals at me. Impossible to ignore.
Monday, June 15, 2026
Do something good with your life today.
Had the beginning of a panic attack start around page 70 and stopped to eat some gluten-free crackers and hummus and take an "Anxio Balance" pill.
"Twenty and Ten by Claire Huchet Bishop" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1069576.Twenty_and_Ten
The scene with the chocolate impacted my life forever.
"Twenty and Ten (1952)" – A Beastiary of Books
"Twenty and Ten" : Claire Huchet Bishop : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
And isn't that a sad little thought.
I bet they'd round you guys up before they'd go after Timothée.
It's fun to be at the beginning of new discoveries!
I wonder if this could be about this, or about this, or...
"The New Adam and Eve"
By Nathaniel Hawthorne
https://utc.iath.virginia.edu/christn/chfinhaf.html
"In this history of horror, the call is coming from inside the house" - The Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/10/21/american-scary-jeremy-dauber-review/
"A.G. Exemplary? Considering the American Gothicism of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 'Alice Doane’s Appeal' and 'Young Goodman Brown'"
"Nathaniel Hawthorne’s American Horror Story" - The Atlantic
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/07/nathaniel-hawthorne-my-kinsman-major-molineux/687311/
Because I don't feel want to feel like I'm psychologically trapped inside of a concentration camp, and I deserve nice things, too.
🙏 I've decided I'm going to get some bodywork done today. Because self-care is very important. Lucky me!!!! 🍀
There's so many people locked away right now who'd be really great at cleaning... 🪣🧽🧙🧹🧙🏾🧼🫧
There but for the grace of whatever (some say 'God') go you, but bless you if you have the patience to deal with this Patriarchal nonsense.
"Christen Goff Says 'Taylor Swift' Got More Women into sports"
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/christen-goff-says-taylor-swift-132401310.html
I think Patriarchy's reign of misery should come to an end now.
Why do some people who are so different from him identify with him?
"Donald Trump's behavior was shaped by his 'sociopath' father, niece writes in bombshell book" | Donald Trump | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jul/07/donald-trump-abuse-father-niece-mary-book
Yeah, that's not a good way to use your money.
It feels like they're buying land and putting up giant, nightmarishly corrupt, bad daycare centers that are going to attract a lot of abusers of children to work in them.
I think some people have soul contracts with each other.
When I felt like my friend who passed away was following me around after she died, that was partially for myself but it was also because I was supposed to say that she had to get away from an abusive situation. Because if I didn't say so, then her child was going to repeat patterns of getting into abusive situations. So I said something and then I stopped feeling like she was following me around all the time and then she came to me in a dream and looked happy and then she probably moved on to a new life. Because when she was alive she told me she had to get away from an abusive situation and we both said to each other that we couldn't tell her child because her child was too young and wouldn't be able to understand it at the time. So it's interesting how that's coming back to me now.
When when when when sounds like win win win?
"How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Adult Obesity"
"Sex abuse victims struggle to lose..."
"Experts see strong link between sexual abuse and obesity"
https://www.syracuse.com/news/2010/07/linking_sexual_abuse_to_obesit.html
That would also be disgusting.
Man, I hope none of those women were in that job just because they wanted to pick up extra cash for some cute outfits.
Do I have high hopes for how children are being treated in facilities run by iCE?
Hahaha. Stupid assholes. It's all a part of a plan to crank out more parentified daughters to take care of everybody else's b*******.
There. They were really oppressed, weren't they?
I believe that some not too smart women who were forced to be babysitters and who shouldn't have been abused me when I was a baby at a military base daycare facility. But also, there were probably some good ones mixed in with the bad ones. That's kind of weird, huh? Patriarchal people are super f***** up in so many ways.
Good job!!!!
"I'm very glad you're taking this time to work on yourself and not needlessly traumatizing the special children."
That's life on a dense planet, sometimes.
I don't even understand why my bad attitude seems to be helping me breathe better now, but anyways.
Yeah, yeah, this is why I'm so glad that you're going to be able to reincarnate. Go buy yourself something.
"I just need you to know that I would rather fit in better and get richer and look like a fatphobic Nazi to a lot of the world's children and future grandchildren then change or waver in my support for any of the 'super unhealthy for people like you' patterns."
Just clearing up some mucus now.
"It's time to get over the vast majority of rich people not wanting to save Anne Frank," and I thought of you.
Carry on, naughty and wonderful lessons.
I'm glad that you and your friends have so many materialistic things to comfort you, as well as the joy of being genetically superior according to a lot of unwell and f'ed up patriarchal standards, because you're the stuff that parentified daughters are made of.
Ever wake up like that and also sad that it feels like you're getting a cold.
Now I gotta yell at rich men and tell them to be nicer to their wife and kids even if their wife and kids weren't all that nice to me. God I hate the selfish rich people, f*** these people. But higher vibrational love is in the air, sir; I'm sure it is. I just want to get through whatever karmic crap I'm supposed to get through and just have a lot more balance and health and wonderful things like that now. Okay, just take care of yourself. Don't let these people get to you anymore. You need to take care of yourself now. You're not supposed to be too much about the rich people. You're not supposed to be too much about the worse off ones, either. You're just supposed to take care of yourself now. Come on, you can do it. Come on. Let's do this. Come on...
Our Divine Lady in Heaven hallowed be thy presence
May God help me develop the understanding and truly healing version self-esteem that passeth all understanding. Yes, many people could have acted better and been nicer. Yes, putting on the CBD cream with a menthol in it is going to make you feel like you can't open your eyes for a while.
Sunday, June 14, 2026
What a good and well-earned yawn. Finally, a yawn!
Today I was adventurous and ventured out but unfortunately I found myself fending off another terrible headache which an ibuprofen did not seem to be able to touch and was able to drive 40+ miles back thanks to a combination of a ginger shot and a turmeric shot (with pineapple juice! always) and a bag of beef jerky and electrolyte water with Himalayan salt. Also, I got a lot of extra encouragement to actively pursue a creative path from an enthusiastic person after I made a donation and perhaps I got overwhelmed by it. There was this whole thing where I felt like I couldn't deal with the rapacious pleasure seeking of the ones the greater culture has been accommodating for so long, and my headache went along with an internal dialogue about how I have health issues and can't work with the people who've helped create the conditions of a society that made my life miserable for so many years and oh my God how often it's felt like they're going to kill us and I'm going to go first. Then, as the pain receded more, I decided I really do want to feel more relaxed than that, and afterall maybe it's better to not get too overwhelmed with what's happening to those who are even more oppressed, because it's not really helping the oppressed when I do that, but maybe if I can pull myself together, I could help some of them more in the future, and now I just had the idea that it's good to take care of your health first, and maybe you'll do some other creative things later. Sometimes there are programs that don't want to quit in parentified daughters and they really are quite something. They can either push people over cliffs or put them on top of mountains, maybe? Maybe now it's better to relax and read a book or two.
"All About Love" by Bell Hooks and "Green Man" by William Anderson.
Harvesting marshmallows looks like fun!
🧑🌾🌱🫖
"Harvesting marshmallows from the garden!"
@fromthegardenchannel
https://youtube.com/shorts/xkpbT4qaR68?si=SKmd3cgKqLsIs7jV
I haven't been gardening much these days, but I can admire plants.
This is the bush.
Sometimes life can get pretty silly and weird, too!
"Googly Eyes Gardener" - Saturday Night Live
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zc7qJE9Nzo8&si=2GcAB1gxajLZG9s3
&
"Weekend Update: Rebecca Larue the Flirting Expert" ~ SNL
I wouldn't have watched "The Lighthouse By The Sea" today if Anne Frank hadn't started her diary on Sunday, June 14th, 1942.
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gmSIJiEU8kY&si=GilyRQ6hMRFxiHVq
"Doughnut Song (Live In San Diego 12/12/07)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=s0rAu3rXpeE&si=NwWCyL3wfBweg2Vp
And I just realized it might be fun to watch more silent films, and to choose your own soundtrack!
"Siren (Live In Detroit 10/27/07)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RgW49Wv8Dp0&si=uBUZrWfexjtCU_wy
I just realized that today is a birthday, too.
"The protesters formed a human banner spelling out 'EPSTEIN' in the outline of a file folder marked 'Trump,' a call for the release of redacted files on convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein that reference the president. Outside the file folder, more protesters held a U.S. flag next to letters spelling 'FILES TO TRIALS.'"
~ Warren Pederson
"Banner of bodies on SF beach sends Trump a pointed birthday warning"
https://www.sfchronicle.com/sf/article/ocean-beach-epstein-trump-protest-22298829.php
So, if she could tell he wasn't safe to be around, why weren't other people also able to tell?
"In an interview with NPR soon after the files were released, French Gates said she was happy to be away from 'all the muck' and that the men involved, including her ex-husband, had to answer for their actions. Why did she decide to speak out then, I ask. 'Well, I had not been silent. I had been asked before what I thought of Epstein, and I had spoken my truth about what I had experienced. He was an abhorrent human being, a horrid man, and so in these situations – this is a hard topic for me, you need to know that – my heart goes out to the young girls,' she says. 'I just spoke the truth, which is they deserve some peace, and they deserve some justice.'"
"The justice system didn’t do its job. It did not do its job. Full stop. Epstein could have been stopped"
"Does she feel frustrated that while many women, including Epstein’s victims, have shown great courage in speaking out, Epstein’s male associates are choosing to stay silent? 'What I know is that bad things happen in darkness. We need to have more transparency,' she replies. French Gates understands better than most the secretive, ultra-rich world that Epstein moved in, and I wonder why she thinks he was able to get away with his crimes for so long. 'The justice system didn’t do its job. It did not do its job. Full stop. This could have been stopped. And so again, I think that’s why, finally, we are having a reckoning in society. If we don’t want children to be harmed, the justice system has to work.' But I ask, the scepticism surely sounding in my voice, are we truly having a reckoning? 'I think that would be a better question to ask the survivors,' she replies.
French Gates has said she met Epstein once and found him so repugnant that she had nightmares afterwards. I ask what had so chilled her. Her demeanour changes rapidly. She looks as if she is about to cry. It is upsetting to witness a woman of such unusual self-possession suddenly lose her poise. She turns away, to look at the lake outside her window, and I can see her attempt to compose herself. 'My heart is racing,' she says after a moment, fluttering her hand over her chest. 'Have you ever in your life been around somebody that you just know is evil?' she asks a moment later. 'There you go. You just have your answer. We need to listen to our feelings about people.'
When she said her heart was racing, was she reliving the gut reaction she had on meeting him? 'I’m done. I can’t do any more questions,' she says. I am watching French Gates, trying to read her reaction, but can sense to my right her comms person, who is listening in, tense and ready herself to end the interview if I push things too far. Then she answers. 'Yes. Any woman who has ever been around somebody who is evil or had an experience and then if you’re around somebody else who is evil. Just no, no.' I notice that while she usually speaks in full sentences, her grammar has broken down. I’m sorry, I say, I can see you’re having a strong – 'Visceral reaction, yes,' she interrupts.
~ Sophie McBain interviews Melinda French Gates
"'Have you ever been around someone you just know...'"
"When women step into their full power, we have a different lens on society. We are the bedrock of society. We are the bedrock of the family."
M. F. Gates
It's good this is not you, but...
"Men don't need to be good at their jobs"
sommertothill
https://youtube.com/shorts/HrMP7q8MPg4?si=D3oKp7peK0rDaTX1
It seems the system trains a lot of guys to be like this. And then it trains other people (both men and women!) to just magically unsee what's going on. Because magically unseeing what's going on is oftentimes what's most beneficial for them in the short term.
IMO the phenomenon of others being able to magically unsee what's going on is a real obstacle when your nervous system won't let you be as good at it as other people are. Other people aren't constantly on the lookout for the ones who are the predators, huh?
And not only looking out for who the predators are going to be, but who are the ones who are going to be making excuses for the predators and letting the predators keep on doing terrible things?
A lot of people who were good at magically unseeing things are now financially set for the rest of their lives and enjoying their retirements.
Anyways, dads whose behavior towards women was casually sexist in the past, who now have daughters or sons, I really do hope your children don't feel the need to metabolize that kind of casual sexism just to ingratiate themselves with you and with certain aspects of our Patriarchal Society.
But you can at least give yourself some props for trying to understand other points of view and maybe have some more thought-provoking conversations than you were encouraged to have in the past.
Did you know ginger is supposed to help with migraine headaches?
This is the raw ginger that I couldn't find for 2 days while I was having the migraine headaches. LOOK WHERE IT WAS.
I miss our old refrigerator which had the freezer on the bottom and the fridge part on top before a power surge killed it. There's a surge protector behind this one now.
I was able to find the powdered ginger.
I'm having an experience with this silent film today.
Anne Frank's 13th birthday film.
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gmSIJiEU8kY&si=GilyRQ6hMRFxiHVq
"Doughnut Song (Live In San Diego 12/12/07)"
Tori Amos
It's time to move on to the next thing now!
I'm really sick of hearing Vishen's voice talking about "the more fat that you carry" because my phone keeps opening that stupid clip again and again.
The internet can be wonderful! I found the Rin Tin Tin film Anne Frank watched on her birthday 84 years ago!
"For her thirteenth birthday, the Jewish diarist Anne Frank watched this film from a rented reel with an early projection machine along with her friends who thoroughly enjoyed it. Frank was a fan of Rin Tin Tin and mentioned this film in her diary in her second entry, on June 14, 1942.[14]"
"The Lighthouse by the Sea" - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lighthouse_by_the_Sea
"The Lighthouse by the Sea (1924)"
But anyways, back to Sunday, June 14th, 1942.
Because my nice grandma was a young person who was alive back then!
"This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good."
Anne Frank on Sunday, June 14th 1942.
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
Good thing it was just acting, huh?
The German Shepherds in the "Escape From Sobibor" movie made me want to throw up.
I'm glad Rin Tin Tin was treated better than the German Shepherds the Nazis had in their concentration camps.
"Susan Orlean on the original Rin Tin Tin"
@newyorker
Am I actually supposed to believe a woman gets smarter if she starts looking more gaunt?
Well, that's a hard pill to swallow. Actually I could find a pill like that quite easily nowadays. I'm just scared it's going to make me have to get my appendix out.
"Anyway please follow"
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I wonder if his rich, fatphobic, Trump-voting friends are still with him on this?
"The Personal Growth Playbook of Donald Trump"
https://blog.mindvalley.com/newsletter-donald-trump/
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
https://youtube.com/shorts/YkKxMMkUij4?si=iRw75sbD3M0X_YcG
This is useful information. Because people who have been discriminated against and locked away are hunger striking right now!
"Anatomy Of A Hunger Strike: Why Is It Done And What Does It Do To The Human Body?"
https://www.rferl.org/a/hunger-strikes-russia/31266830.html
"ICE retaliated against Adelanto hunger strikers, advocates say" - Los Angeles Times
Why is he where he is?
Doesn't Donald Trump need to lose some weight? Speaking of being fat and also being not so smart.
How hilarious is it that a bunch of skinny, wealthy people wanted him to be the one to run things?
Maybe he reminded them of their dads or grandpas or something?
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
Before I find clips of "Rin Tin Tin" to honor Anne Frank starting her diary, I have another thing to mention.
Vishen thinks you become smarter when you lose fat, which is very bad news for a lot of females, including females with perimenopausal and menopausal and post-menopausal bodies. Also, he seems to think fasting is the best way to lose weight, and that does not work equally well with all kinds of bodies.
"Can Losing Fat Make You Smarter?"
MindValley
https://youtube.com/shorts/YkKxMMkUij4?si=iRw75sbD3M0X_YcG
"Anyway please follow"
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sunday, Diary-writing Sunday...
I wonder if I can find some clips of "Rin Tin Tin" to commemorate this occasion?
Sunday, June 14, 1942
I'll begin from the moment I got you, the moment I saw you lying on the table among my other birthday presents. (I went along when you were bought, but that doesn't count.)
On Friday, June 12, I was awake at six o'clock, which isn't surprising, since it was my birthday. But I'm not allowed to get up at that hour, so I had to control my curiosity until quarter to seven. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the dining room, where Moortje (the cat) welcomed me by rubbing against my legs.
A little after seven I went to Daddy and Mama and then to the living room to open my presents, and you were the first thing I saw, maybe one of my nicest presents. Then a bouquet of roses, some peonies and a potted plant. From Daddy and Mama I got a blue blouse, a game, a bottle of grape juice, which to my mind tastes a bit like wine (after all, wine is made from grapes), a puzzle, a jar of cold cream, 2.50 guilders and a gift certificate for two books. I got another book as well, Camera Obscura (but Margot already has it, so I exchanged mine for something else), a platter of homemade cookies (which I made myself, of course, since I've become quite an expert at baking cookies), lots of candy and a strawberry tart from Mother. And a letter from Grammy, right on time, but of course that was just a coincidence.
Then Hanneli came to pick me up, and we went to school. During recess I passed out cookies to my teachers and my class, and then it was time to get back to work. I didn't arrive home until five, since I went to gym with the rest of the class. (I'm not allowed to take part because my shoulders and hips tend to get dislocated.) As it was my birthday, I got to decide which game my classmates would play, and I chose volleyball. Afterward they all danced around me in a circle and sang "Happy Birthday." When I got home, Sanne Ledermann was already there. Ilse Wagner, Hanneli Goslar and Jacqueline van Maarsen came home with me after gym, since we're in the same class. Hanneli and Sanne used to be my two best friends. People who saw us together used to say, "There goes Anne, Hanne and Sanne." I only met Jacqueline van Maarsen when I started at the Jewish Lyceum, and now she's my best friend. Ilse is Hanneli's best friend, and Sanne goes to another school and has friends there.
They gave me a beautiful book, Dutch Sagas and Legends, but they gave me Volume II by mistake, so I exchanged two other books for Volume I. Aunt Helene brought me a puzzle, Aunt Stephanie a darling brooch and Aunt Leny a terrific book: Daisy Goes to the Mountains.
This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good.
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
Persecution complex, befuddled.
It's so crazy that I don't know if my past students were more likely to have become persecuted by ICE or the ICE agents themselves. I still feel like it's more likely, generally, to be the former, but I feel also like the latter has also been something that has happened.
But also, I have to apologize for this state of mind that's been emerging lately.
I'm so sorry if my persecution complex has been triggered by all the persecution that's been happening to real people in this era. Those people actually really matter to some kinds of human beings right now.
84 years ago, Anne Frank wrote her first full diary entry on Sunday, June 14th, 1942!
Today is the anniversary of when Anne Frank's diary began in earnest!
"Excerpt: Anne Frank The Diary Of A Young Girl"
https://www.npr.org/2010/01/01/138709936/excerpt-anne-frank-the-diary-of-a-young-girl
"Sunday, June 14, 1942
I'll begin from the moment I got you, the moment I saw you lying on the table among my other birthday presents. (I went along when you were bought, but that doesn't count.)
On Friday, June 12, I was awake at six o'clock, which isn't surprising, since it was my birthday. But I'm not allowed to get up at that hour, so I had to control my curiosity until quarter to seven. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the dining room, where Moortje (the cat) welcomed me by rubbing against my legs.
A little after seven I went to Daddy and Mama and then to the living room to open my presents, and you were the first thing I saw, maybe one of my nicest presents. Then a bouquet of roses, some peonies and a potted plant. From Daddy and Mama I got a blue blouse, a game, a bottle of grape juice, which to my mind tastes a bit like wine (after all, wine is made from grapes), a puzzle, a jar of cold cream, 2.50 guilders and a gift certificate for two books. I got another book as well, Camera Obscura (but Margot already has it, so I exchanged mine for something else), a platter of homemade cookies (which I made myself, of course, since I've become quite an expert at baking cookies), lots of candy and a strawberry tart from Mother. And a letter from Grammy, right on time, but of course that was just a coincidence.
Then Hanneli came to pick me up, and we went to school. During recess I passed out cookies to my teachers and my class, and then it was time to get back to work. I didn't arrive home until five, since I went to gym with the rest of the class. (I'm not allowed to take part because my shoulders and hips tend to get dislocated.) As it was my birthday, I got to decide which game my classmates would play, and I chose volleyball. Afterward they all danced around me in a
circle and sang "Happy Birthday." When I got home, Sanne Ledermann was already there. Ilse Wagner, Hanneli Goslar and Jacqueline van Maarsen came home with me after gym, since we're in the same class. Hanneli and Sanne used to be my two best friends. People who saw us together used to say, "There goes Anne, Hanne and Sanne." I only met Jacqueline van Maarsen when I started at the Jewish Lyceum, and now she's my best friend. Ilse is Hanneli's best friend, and Sanne goes to another school and has friends there.
They gave me a beautiful book, Dutch Sagas and Legends, but they gave me Volume II by mistake, so I exchanged two other books for Volume I. Aunt Helene brought me a puzzle, Aunt Stephanie a darling brooch and Aunt Leny a terrific book: Daisy Goes to the Mountains.
This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good."
It is Sunday, and I suppose the average white people are going to continue to love money and what they can own with it above everything else today.
If we got to rendezvous in a coffee shop irl, I could tell you more about my experiences with how liberal white women who haven't healed enough of their internalized misogyny issues to be kind to their own female family members will act like they think that white gay men with money are the peak and pinnacle of their favorite civil rights mission to feel good about. Because they still get to worship white men above everybody else, which is exactly what they were trained to do at a very young age! Duh. Praise their commitment to worshipping white men and their multiple tracts of land and home-owning statuses in a time of great stress and discrimination and upheaval. If you were an old white man who'd owned land and molested children, they definitely would have treated you a lot better, as opposed to a lowly and inferior female living in the kind of body they were taught to discriminate against. All I can say is, the cult truly did its work with them, huh?
Sounds this Sunday morning.
The roosters are crowing. It's good to be a rooster this morning! This is a part of the suburbs that's close to some country areas.
The cat is coughing. Oops, I hope she doesn't have a hairball, but she might.
The freeway is being noisy with trucks and other traffic.
I put on my air purifier because it makes a soft sound that blocks out the freeway noises.
Astonishing, and now I must be raising the shades and looking outside at what beauty nature can share with me today.
"As a product of nature's design, it's just been such a privilege to have been born into the kind of body that makes it really hard for the most Patriarchal people to be able to get along with or understand someone like me. I'm just so complicated for some people. But if I were a simpler man who needed money, who was good at going along with the Patriarchy's rules for getting money, I'd be so, so, so much easier to get along with, huh?! It's really strange and bizarre to know this through my own empirical experiences. Oh my God!!!!"
So far I didn't wake up with a brutal migraine headache today though, so that's great.
Who knows what kind of person I would be today if I hadn't been born with the kind of female body that was susceptible to developing PCOS / female hormone imbalances? Lord, does the shallow and imbalanced Patriarchal Society never stop hating the "different" kinds of women and girls? That's how it feels sometimes, anyways.
Gosh, it's just so very sad what the abusive and uncaring Patriarchal Society has done to some people's brains.
Patriarchy, capitalism, empire and colonialism has warped people's sense of reality.
This is why those relatives who used to seem better and less cruel would choose to go along with some very abusive patterns and abandon you. They were trained to be the tools of a Patriarchal Society which enforces those systems. It feels brutal and unkind and uncaring because it is.
"Anyway please follow..."
sommertothill
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZjv1FOJETV/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Saturday, June 13, 2026
Sometimes people choose to learn more from experiencing kind of a hard life.
And so, maybe you're supposed to be more spiritual and more friend-oriented, and isn't it funny how other stuff sucks you away from that so easily. But you could be so good at being spiritual and and friend-oriented. Isn't it weird how you could be so good at being spiritual and friend-oriented, but yet, other stuff could still keep sucking you away from those things. Isn't that weird? Isn't it weird to be in a body? Isn't it weird to be in a body that is making you become a certain type of way as a result of the how you were brought up, and the things you saw, and the way the culture is, and more than that, too? I don't know. It's all really strange. It's kind of interesting, though, if you just step back and take a long view of it.
A positive thought about hard situations.
Where there is failure, there is also potential for learning and growth and healing. That's not a lie. Actually, that's very true.
Oh and another almost fun way of looking at it is: you were supposed to fail so you were going to learn more. OR: Of course you were supposed to fail. Because you're supposed to learn more!!!!
My cat's being whiny and sad.
It's because quality of life has gone down recently because of a mental illness called I don't care about anybody's genius anymore. It's not covered by insurance, and to treat it costs too much money and other things, and that is why the muscles of spiritual endurance have to be developed now.
I'll go take my balancing supplements and think about the nice beings on the planet.
Oh, I got the complicated body in this life. Ow, my head again, ow.
"We all know..."
lucasfisher62
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYkj9-yvwL_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I'm going to look at the kitties now. My body's hurting too much lately.
"I believe in equality"
lucasfisher62
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYXrlXyvMdl/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Don't be a tool of the patriarchy.
"Female service members have a separation rate 28% higher than men..."
jyrola
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh0CQsSwoU/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Parents are not very thoughtful sometimes.
"I hope the daughters never see these videos. These reactions are disgusting."
u/Valueable_View_561
This isn't an opportunity to be selfish. It's an opportunity to acknowledge the humanity of fellow human beings.
"'It rips my heart apart': U.S. military veteran calls on ICE to release wife"
Acknowledging when injustice is happening is humane and decent.
"Father of three seized by ICE at FIFA match last summer warns immigrant fans of danger" - France 24
Maybe if people knew it was in their own best interest, they would change.
I'm really disappointed by how stubborn some people can be and I don't think they're acting in their own best interest. Actually, I know they're not.
This is discrimination and her death should not have happened.
"Death of Haitian woman released from ICE custody in Pittsburgh ruled a homicide" - CBS Pittsburgh
https://www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/news/haitian-woman-death-pittsburgh-homicide-ice-custody/
There's been some very terrible surprises as far as discovering who wants to keep on following the old ways.
Thanks to my experiences, I have to be on the lookout for both women and men to see if they are either going to keep on following old patriarchal ways, which have caused me a lot of pain and suffering in this life, or to see if they want to heal patterns of internalized misogyny within themselves and create new and better ways to live life.
I am not here to negate my experiences just so that the old toxic patterns can continue for the benefit of others.
Don't expect me to follow the rules for acquiring a privileged lifestyle when I've seen how harmful those old patterns are to a lot of people.
And a lot of the harm that those rules, which certain people are still completely comfortable following, are causing people, who really do deserve better, is really unnecessary
And I know that following those rules is not what I am supposed to do when I have been shown so much about how they are really bad for Society as a whole, too.
So that's why something better must happen. That's the way Society evolves and changes for the better. It doesn't evolve and change because the people who are comfortable with the way things are just don't change.
I don't know why you'd want to surround yourself with a bunch of people who would have been completely fine with the bad things that were normalized in the past if they had been born back then.
It's just painful.
Is that really the only way?
Why is such and such a habit, which excludes others and pushes them to the outer margins, so important for maintaining such a privileged lifestyle?
This sounds like a good idea. But a lot of people never had it asked of them, so it might be work.
"Ask young adults how life feels, not just what they have achieved."
"What Helps Young Adults Flourish?"| Psychology Today
What a sick headache they are.
People like that are the ones who keep the old bad patterns continuing, and they don't break the patterns, and they completely have had the opportunity to do so, and they were cowards.
Don't expect great things of them! You will be severely disappointed.
"A Test of Conscience: Who Would Betray Anne Frank?"
https://cloakinginequity.com/2025/10/09/would-you-tell-them-where-anne-frank-was-hiding/
But that was not the case was it? No, it was not.
And you'd also think that people who had experienced some bad things themselves would have learned how to have more empathy for others and would have acted like they had it.
Who wants to be a part of that pattern continuing? I don't.
I bet there's people who...I know there's people who ...tried to tell other people about the bad things that happened to them (which takes a lot of courage because you can see how Society doesn't respond well to it ) and then they got shut down and then they stopped and they never tried to tell anybody anymore again and then they just suffered and went crazy.
It's like they're the version of mentally ill that the Patriarchy wants everyone elseto be.
And if there's abuse in your family and if your relatives don't want to acknowledge it, I don't expect how they expect you to act. Everything's fine? I'm so happy to have learned all about your apparent lack of empathy for the less fortunate and to see how your extra strong affinity for houses and money and your abilities for treating white men like they're better than everyone else has led to how poorly you view your fellow human beings! And you even treated the creepy abusive guy like he was better than us too! These were people that I was supposed to trust when I was a little kid. I think that they got warped by a cult. A very twisted version of Christianity warped them. A version that wants grown people to be childish and selfish and materialistic and in denial and discriminatory and untrustworthy. I guess that kind of behavior does something for them. It gives them some kind of happy chemicals in their brains. It makes me think of the banality of evil.
The cat acts like she has some peace in her soul and I wonder why.
I understand why throughout the centuries so many women who were considered witches ended up having an affinity for cats because cats are just so much nicer than a lot of human beings. Including some Patriarchal women and men who apparently got trained by their brothers or fathers to just act like whatever their fathers or brothers wanted them to act like.
It's so easy to find out what's happening in other places these days.
I haven't left the house in 2 days because the PMS and migraines have been rather severe this time around. Now I am very tired. I have to take a break. I'm so tired. I have other tasks here that I need to complete. I'm so tired. Maybe I need another nap. Maybe I should cry. Can I cry? How can I cry?
Actually did leave the house but I forgot. Cuz most of the day I felt unable to leave it.
I guess caring about human rights might have some consequences for some people.
Like the people who are used to sexism being normal.
"Same place. Same pilgrimage. Same religion."
emaansaidso
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZS4_6uos5p/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Lilith sounds like the type who would have liked women.
"they've alllllways been scared"
calebangellen
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXR1lWRifz2/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Stop acting like a bunch of kinds of human beings don't matter to you just because that's what patriarchal society wanted you to do.
South Carolina is not okay.
"Stay safe ladies"
andraberghoff
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZivqyTAAcF/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Sigh.
"Compassion is soooo hard. I want to be masculine and mean because that's what the paychecks required. And I am very superficial when I evaluate women's appearances. Especially when it comes to thinking that all women should be exactly as thin as the present day Patriarchal Society wants all women to be. But if I had been born back when the beauty standard preferred fatter women, I would have wanted them to be fatter. Because I'm a little tool and a peon and a lackey and a follower. I mean, I am such a model man of my own culture!"
Stop being a Tool of The Patriarchy!
"Men need to just stop"
valenoffline
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh-rSwB-Db/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I will give them some money for this.
"McDonald's brings back beloved 80s sweet treat"
https://www.masslive.com/food/2026/06/mcdonalds-brings-back-beloved-80s-sweet-treat.html
But anyways, he is the voice of the common people. Or is he...
I think so-and-so should find some men who haven't raised such repressed children in this lifetime and see if those guys will rub off on him.
Do you suppose men are more war-like and violent because they don't get to see enough blood on a regular basis?
"The Four Feathers (2002) Official Trailer #1" - Heath Ledger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JjB6a_Op1bM&si=oVF_3FliNWECWNBK
But if they did see more blood on a regular basis, maybe it would fix something in their brains, at least for some of them?
Glad I got the most out of wearing a white sundress yesterday.
I wonder if the body butter would turn more pink or more brown?
Update: It barely changed color at all. Try again later.
How much of this stuff is left?
Time to mix some in with the body butter!
"Period blood heals wounds TWICE AS FAST"
DITTO - Menstrual Research
You know who else needs land, apparently?
The people who are building the torture centers to imprison a lot of people for no f****** good reason at all need land to build their torture centers on. Have you noticed that?
This is all about bringing partial truths together In service to the greater good of our collective human consciousness!
All I wanted was for us to meet in a coffee shop and talk about how we're never, ever going to have biological children together in this lifetime, and they wouldn't let me!
Suicidal Tendencies -
"Institutionalized"
Gush! Went the unfettered narrative of a particular kind of human experience.
Well, maybe some people's parents were in Auschwitz in their last lives. And that explains why...I mean, that explains a lot...I mean, that might explain some things, these days?
Why do the rich struggle with such concepts if they've not been warped by the patriarchy?
"People in ICE detention struggle to access period products, despite rules to provide them"
https://19thnews.org/2026/02/ice-facilities-federal-prisons-menstrual-products/
The bare minimum! Even that is too much to ask?
Reminding me that the richest are so ladylike and never talk about their periods still.
The blood is back. Maybe the vile migraines will stop now. There were no menstrual cramps this time though. When PCOS met Perimenopause.
I would listen to it.
A song called "I'm so glad Hitler's not alive right now" inducing repetitive waves of joy from the side that usually feels nothing.
What about a Parentified Daughter Oldest Sibling music channel?
Hmmm? 💽
"Cigarette Mom Rock is the new trend"
fm99wnor
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUUDyGllFu0/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
"Apocalypse" - Cigarettes After Sex
After my vegan meal of hummus on gluten-free crackers with parsley
I had mashed raspberries mixed with chia seeds on a gluten-free cracker. Because one of the containers of raspberries from the discount grocery store was so rotten I probably have to throw it away because the receipt got lost but the other container only had like one bad raspberry in it. But since they were so mushy I decided to make chia seed raspberry jam.
Most of the headache is gone. The shades are up.
I was thinking about this dramatic movie I never saw.
"The Four Feathers (2002) Official Trailer #1" - Heath Ledger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JjB6a_Op1bM&si=oVF_3FliNWECWNBK
I don't know why; it just came to me for some reason.
I understand we're all going at our own paces.
I understand that not everyone can handle this level of excitement. I wasn't handling it very well, either. Gee Golly Gosh. Even now I'm teetering on the edge of wanting to throw up, but you know what, I'm going to deal with it. And the icky pain that starts to go away but kind of lingers...Yep, dealing with that too. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful beautiful.
Like a queeeen...who suffers...and wants to get better...
I have requested plain hummus, gluten-free, crackers, raspberries and parsley.
I already have water and lemons.
Wow! I wonder if it's going to happen again soon. It could. What a challenge!
Whee, what a roller coaster. Don't even have to get out of bed. Every time I start to feel super horrible, I just have to remember to feel the feelings and know that I'm going to feel better. Eventually. Have I ever learned anything more important than this in my life, ever????
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷
I 💖 that I am feeling so much happier now.💖
I'm feeling really happy for you guys. You guys are going to start healing more. I'm so happy for you guys now!!!! 💖
That's also exciting to contemplate.
I wonder if ground up flaxseed mixed in oatmeal is good for balancing things when life gets ultra upsetting. It could be; it could help. 🌈🙏😊
Who cares if nobody else is excited about it except you.
It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. It's happening!
The starting to feel better is happening!
And you still have traces of pain in your face. But you're starting to feel better anyways!
Ahhhhhh!!!!!
So good.
So so so much better now.
I believe. 🌅
I'm going to feel better soon.
I can feel the feelings. Throwing up, crying, everything. It's time to get through the stuff you got to get through. It's time. Let's do that right now. Yay. Isn't it awful to be here? Isn't it miserable? Who wants to be here anymore? I don't. Why would I want to be here if I'm feeling like throwing up and crying and I'm this miserable. Gross, icky pain. This sucks, come on...
And even with all the bad ways it feels now, it could be even worse.
This is what you do in order to feel better.
See, feeling better is already looking like it's on the horizon!
It's amazing how much a body can teach you.
I only want to feel better. This is disgusting. But I'll probably feel better eventually. That's what happened in the past, right?
Another attainable achievement.
Sick and in love and going towards a peaceful sleep slumber state sweet dreams are made of this...
Now that sounds more relaxing.
You can maximize your privilege for the greater good and I can put more vapo-rub on my face.
Don't be like these guys.
And their "cover your drink" vibes.
"this whole poster..."
u/Conscious-Quarter423
The trailer had a trailer and this is a tame-sounding news article for the lovers of animals & the environment
"US government set to transfer large tract of nature reserve land to Starbase"
France 24
You never truly know how a morning is gonna turn out.
"Being Human (1994) Official Trailer" - Robin Williams
https://youtube.com/watch?v=d0SU3f2aRjc&si=o3C4Ierlu5s9nTxG
More affected by vapor rub on the face than by pain that's diminishing but not totally gone, the universe just reminded me that Robin Williams had a sensitive soul.
But maybe rebirth will feel sweeter.
I'm gonna die. In this puny discarded by the Patriarchy body. Even the guy working seven days a week doesn't feel the curse of the vile stupid rich people killing his soul.
Go to sleep!!!!!
X: You got to start folding out that bed. It stresses me out to see sleeping on the floor.
Y: Why does it stress you out?
X: I don't know. It just does.
What else is to be learned?
I hope I don't have something like a tumor in my brain also maybe they're kind of like you when you're blinded by the headaches stumbling around trying to find the progesterone and estrogen balancing foods and supplements and also whatever else that detoxes.
What did you learn this morning?
That a hot shower can detox and that apparently The Lord or whatever is going to make me feel more sick if I try to be more like them?
I think the shower will help me detox.
Tragically I cannot attend dinner parties with rich people who hate poor people so much. This is such a vile time to be alive sometimes.
Awful! May things improve very quickly.
Terrible headache. Sic sick k. Terrible knowledge of stress people are going through. Living with somebody working 7 days a week lately and it's not good. Trying to find all the supplements and foods to help. Need to jump in the shower.
It's another time of survival but it's different now.
It feels like a headache is back and we have to survive a very strange time and grow and evolve and let the universe help us become bigger people.
Friday, June 12, 2026
Resonating 🎶
I really like that I found Moondog "Bird's Lament" again. I wanted to find it again a while back. I didn't want to look back through a lot of old posts to find it. That's not my favorite thing to do. Tonight that one seems good for everything! It's good for remembering my younger self, who was kind of discovering a world of more wealth and privilege sometimes, and who used to wonder if she would create something important in the future. It's good for the part of me that gets into a weird headspace in wanting to know more about what Anne Frank was reading, including gossipy teenage novels. It's good for the part that thinks about Christine de Pizan. It's good for the part that wants to escape and the part that wants to tune in. It's good for the part that thinks like the placement of the planets and the stars can affect things. It's good for the mystical part. It's good for the part that wants to be more centered and grounded, too.
And then, what else is there to listen to...
Marcos Valle - "Nova Bossa Nova (New Bossa)"
Why.
My brain's going into a weird area where I might either want to watch "Hedda" again or read that "House of Dolls" book again. But I hate to say it. But I'm probably going to choose the dinner party. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why....
It's so thoughtful of you to consider others.
And encourage them to take a break from all that stressful worrying, right?
There are changes in attitudes underfoot.
"Extremely sad to see..."
harsh_lodha
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZcgd97oYnZ/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I only hope that acknowledging a need for improvement is not an excuse for continuing old patterns of careless destruction and negligence.
"Survival strategies once made sense."
"💛 Let's give ourselves the space to learn the skills we never had the chance to develop."
artandtherapystudio
https://www.instagram.com/p/DZfgLNlju-s/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Who's to say which kinds of human beings are most important?
“'Most of the women detained at this center were illegally detained by ICE,' the letter reads. 'We were taken at the entrances of our immigration court check-ins, at our jobs, taking our kids to school.'"
~ José Olivares
"Women held at much-denounced ICE detention camp sign on to hunger strike"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/12/delaney-hall-ice-detention-strike
Oh wow!
“'See How Easy It Is?': People Are Applauding Ariana Grande’s No BS Response To The Trump Administration Using Her Music In A Video Promoting ICE Deportations"
https://www.buzzfeed.com/leylamohammed/ariana-grande-slams-trump-for-using-her-music-ice-video
And by the way, I have acquired some pretty clothes this year.
And yet, having more pretty clothes still does not seem more important than having human rights.
Thoughts?
"What if I just can't sacrifice my human rights to live vicariously through you? Because it's impossible! Why do you keep expecting me to do that for you? Who taught you that was a normal attitude to have towards other human beings?"
"Collateral damage"
Sometimes when rich people are making excuses for selfish behaviors and attitudes, it kind of reminds me of the practice of killing human beings and calling it "collateral damage."
Why? Why are they doing this?
"Women held at much-denounced ICE detention camp sign on to hunger strike"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/12/delaney-hall-ice-detention-strike
What a good song!!!!
Letters To Cleo - "Here and Now"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HEa5_Ki33nA&si=zi_mg3UYq6mNK20h
Can sing it to the cat who also napped all day.
Today needed to be a day of rest.
It's just so nice to be able put the shades back up again after a day of keeping them down and napping and drinking liquids and taking supplements and fending off the bad headache and having other weird dreams but I forgot to record them.
Hello again, world.
Just had a have to take care of your health now dream.
I admired a big cloud outside. Then I got a headache and had to draw the shades and I fell asleep. In my dreams I passed by a sick dog and I felt a lot of empathy for it and it followed me and it kind of latched on to my body. It followed me to a new house and there it was running around and acting healthier. But it was chasing other cats and dogs and I was getting warnings about that dog and then I had to rescue a cat from it and I thought I was rescuing a black cat but when I took it upstairs away from the dog it was orange and also started having a seizure so maybe it needed extra medical attention. It is still true that vulnerable creatures need help. Sometimes the vulnerable creature is a human being that needs help. Sometimes you need help. Sometimes you have to help yourself first.
But I do think some of them used to care.
And sometimes they show their potential for being caring.
"Fairness is a very simple concept.
Even children understand it almost instinctively."
_the_powertable
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZdp_Q1B-3_/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
You can imagine not being allowed to perform if that's what you love to do. Why can't your body perform? Is it the wrong kind for Society?
"Citing ICE Threat, Global Friends Will Not Feature Refugee Students" | KNOX News Radio, Local News, Weather and Sports
"Citing Immigrations and Customs Enforcement as a threat, Global Friends Coalition has chosen not to feature refugee students at a special day this weekend.
The Downtown Farmers Market is set to feature World Refugee Day Saturday, June 13th.
Global Friends will feature art an six-word essays from refugees, but an annual performance by refugees will not take place.
Cynthia Shabb, Global Friends Executive Director, says gathering refugees in one place may invite them to be targeted by ICE. She spoke of citizens being frustrated that the event has to be approached in this way with the climate toward immigration in the nation."
Hmmm, Biblical Womanhood.
This could be an interesting perspective to consider.
"Someone tell the men"
meghantschanz
https://www.instagram.com/p/DZfAqBSoFcI/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Well, that sounds like empathy!
"The words stopped me cold."
~ Julian Vasquez Heilig
"A Test of Conscience: Who Would Betray Anne Frank?"
https://cloakinginequity.com/2025/10/09/would-you-tell-them-where-anne-frank-was-hiding/
"Every so often, a sentence hits you with the kind of force that keeps echoing in your mind long after you first encounter it. I came across one recently while scrolling Facebook. It was raw, stark, and unsettling in its clarity:
'It’s depressing to realize people I used to consider friends and family have become people who I would not tell where Anne Frank was hiding.'”
"A Test of Conscience: Who Would Betray Anne Frank?"
https://cloakinginequity.com/2025/10/09/would-you-tell-them-where-anne-frank-was-hiding/
Low empathy tax dollars aren't working very effectively, is what it sounds like!💲
"Detainees on hunger strike allege filthy water, moldy food..."
This was less than 100 years ago, but how swiftly Society has forgotten 🍽️.
"In 1938 Hitler's doctors put him on a meat-free diet, and his public image as a vegetarian and a lover of animals was fostered; from 1942 he described himself as a vegetarian."
"Adolf Hitler and vegetarianism"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler_and_vegetarianism
When u gotta go again... 🫠
♀️instant childhood messaging flashbacks ♂️
"Replying to marjiesanz..."
Belle DeVelle Co.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTB9KpnSd/
"the difference between the men's vs womens room at mission BBQ"
"#mission"
Belle DeVelle Co.
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