Monday, May 30, 2016

Time for a talk?

I think this is pretty insightful. As in, maybe I should take notes for future reference.

"The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: 
Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen"

sounds wise

"Peace ~ it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." (Unknown)

888!

Waterfalls and Birds

que hora es


tiempo para las tortugas marinas

half new half repeat

Thank you
http://time.com/4351069/memorial-day-2016-veterans-ptsd-sebastian-junger-tribe-
For your service
book/http://motherboard.vice.com/read/ptsd-isnt-just-for-soldiers

Soccer / Math

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/wg1gm6/the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-american-soccer-s-gender-wage-gap

"For the second time this week, the U.S. legislative body best known for its obstructionist leanings managed to squeak out a unanimous vote for the public good. Following Monday’s passage of a progressive rights bill for sexual assault survivors, the Senate passed a resolution on Thursday asking U.S. Soccer to grant equal pay to its female players."

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/05/27/the_senate_passed_a_unanimous_resolution_supporting_equal_pay_for_u_s_women.html

$1350 to win and $0 to lose (women)
vs
$17625 to win and $5000 to lose (men)

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/03/31/u_s_women_s_national_soccer_team_files_wage_discrimination_complaint_against.html

How do you

restaurant?

Dudes: Wow, that girl has some attitude. She's not waiting on us properly.
Me: That's funny, I thought she seemed perfectly nice. She didn't seem to have "attitude" to me.

mewing

I have heard the mewing. I go down. No cat
I go back in. Upstairs, the mewing comes back again.

Breathing.
Asking for help.

The mewing returns.
I go out, see it, pet it.

Woman across the way smiles.
"You've got a friend."
She tells me it's been around a while and sometimes the cats get fed in the parking lot.
"Looks like it should be someone's cat. It's a pretty cat," she says.

I go in. When I look out the window, the cat is going over to the woman's porch. Not mewing anymore for now.

Once upon a single time...

Last night: insomnia. Started remembering things...how, at 19 or 20, I worked in a cafeteria and somehow wound up at a party with coworkers (one who didn't care for me as much asked the others "how did she get here?" But the others were cool.) I was enjoying a conversation with an artistic girl and then another girl came over and scrutinized us and rather assertively let it be known that I was talking to her girlfriend...a co-worker played the special single he got from the record shop. We thought it was so rare and edgy and cool. This was before YouTube. It doesn't quite effect me now as it did then but...fun to find it and listen to it again, for curiosity's sake...Madonna Justify My Love The Beast Within Remix.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

dance ending

finished what I had started listening to...
http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/unfictional/a-dancer-dies-twice

one can join a dance company later in life
http://sagedancecompany.com/about/

La

"Hillary has gotten more negative press than any other candidate throughout the primary cycle – including Trump."

http://www.curvemag.com/News/Hillary-Clinton-Is-A-Lesbian-1230/

The internet has everything.

http://www.autostraddle.com/all-65-dead-lesbian-and-bisexual-characters-on-tv-and-how-they-died-312315/

Everything.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/heres-what-disney-princesses-would-look-like-as-parents_us_573f206de4b00e09e89ec866

Princesses.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/01/25/researchers-have-discovered-a-major-problem-with-the-little-mermaid-and-other-disney-movies/

Oooh, a book

Pick a random book review.

http://www.womenwriters.net/may2001/BreathingPlants.htm

Voila.

Pick a quote???

"Claudia Lewis, in her essay, "Ode to Mold," is able to view even fungus in a new light: "the older I get, the more I appreciate the paradox of continuity and change, that life is wholly connected, a sustained, enduring expression of meaning, however mysteriously it is transformed" (29). This intense love for the natural world results from the subtle way these authors create estrangement from the typical manner of viewing nature.


In the preface, the editors state that 'outrage begins in love' (xiv). This outrage, subtly yet inescapably present throughout these works, is reflected in Mary Crow Dog’s essay, "Peyote." Crow Dog moves beyond a traditional description of peyote toward a more potent understanding of what it means to her people, stating that "our only fear is that the whites will take this from us, too, as they have taken everything else" (72). Fiercely, Crow Dog is able to indirectly show that the natural world is not something to be annihilated or overpowered, and, that, by implication, the act of destroying the natural world has greater implications than almost anyone is able to comprehend. The many facets of nature are intimately united with these authors’ existences; what happens to parts or to the whole of the natural world also happens, in some way, to each of us."

Considerations...

I was telling this cat I might let the homeless cat in because it was making me sad that it was probably left behind. This cat seemed unimpressed, though. This cat was spoiling to fight that cat. I guess it's easier to bring in a homeless cat if your household is already catless. I remembered that I forgot to ask a higher power to help the homeless cat. That's another thing... Forgetting... remembering... forgetting... remembering... Homeless cat was vocal, but it did not want the dry cat food I offered. Maybe someone else was feeding it and will know how to care for it. I saw it run to other people, too. Also, what if the people who used to have it came back and got it? That might be okay, too...

well...

lets just hope so
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/hillary-clinton-lesbian-lovers-state-department-report/photo/159534/

sooo old


They were young...


Stephen and Colbert Report on Prince Charles Scandal

Because it will be Memorial Day

"Wounds of war are often invisible to the naked eye."

http://www.alternet.org/documentaries/invisible-wounds-war-ptsd-and-trauma-soldiers-carry-long-after-battle


"In the public’s eye, military men are still the sole sufferers of PTSD. But research shows that women are in some cases twice as likely to develop the disorder. Despite being far more vulnerable,  women are often misdiagnosed due to cultural stereotypes, and there’s a huge gap in research on which kinds of treatments work best for which kinds of people. Studies and research programs have been designed, until recently, to understand men with PTSD. The same is true for support systems and treatment centers. In the legal system, women who report PTSD from rape are less likely to be believed than men who report PTSD from combat."

~  http://motherboard.vice.com/read/ptsd-isnt-just-for-soldiers

Hmmm, expectations

BREAK

http://www.alternet.org/story/147626/5_stupid,_unfair_and_sexist_things_expected_of_men

"Years ago, when I was married to a man, we were trying to make some difficult decisions together about how to arrange our careers and lives (would he work full-time and maybe even overtime to help put me through grad school?). When he asked the guys he worked with for feedback and advice, he mostly got a load of derision for involving me too much in his decisions about his job. "Pussywhipped," I believe, was the charming terminology being used. Yes, he was supposed to be a good provider and build the financial foundation for our life... but he was somehow supposed to accomplish this without asking me what kind of life I wanted, and without any willingness to compromise about what kind of life he wanted. For himself, or for the two of us. I guess he was supposed to be The Decider.
Of course, while it was horribly unmanly for him to be guided by his wife, it was perfectly fine for him to be guided by the guys he worked with at the auto shop." 

GO BACK TO WORK

Medicinal modernity

NEWER:

"Women represent 1 of 3 physicians and surgeons but they earn only 69 cents for every dollar their male colleagues earn. Male physicians made $202,533 on average in 2013, while female doctors had a median income of $140,036 that year, according to new national data." 

"There were only two healthcare jobs in which women's earnings were at least 97% of men's: massage therapists and dietitians/nutritionists. "

 ~ http://www.modernhealthcare.com/article/20150316/NEWS/150319919


OLDER:

"Women have always been healers. They were the unlicensed doctors and anatomists of western history. They were abortionists, nurses and counsellors. They were pharmacists, cultivating healing herbs and exchanging the secrets of their uses. They were midwives, travelling from home to home and village to village. For centuries women were doctors without degrees, barred from books and lectures, learning from each other, and passing on experience from neighbor to neighbor and mother to daughter. They were called 'wise women' by the people, witches or charlatans by the authorities."

"...we have been incorporated as workers into an industry where the bosses are men. We are no longer independent practitioners, known by our own names, for our own work. We are, for the most part, institutional fixtures filling faceless job slots: clerk, dietary aide, technician, maid."

 ~ https://www.feministpress.org/sites/default/files/witches_midwives_and_nurses_excerpt.pdf (page 25 & 26)

So this is an example of

The Longest Argument ~ Bridesmaids It's quite long. I think I will accomplish things. But also take breaks to watch it in snippets.

Dear Unknown Celebrity

How's the only accept purebred kittens venture working out for you? HAVE YOU MADE LOTS OF MONEY ON THAT YET?

What is there to do

Cat was mewing. It was wet out. I thought I would pet it. I would offer it food again. I approached. It ran away. SIGH. Maybe I have "This human will take a cat to a shelter" vibes. Maybe it's mewing because some jerks abandoned their cat.

This section

He doesn't get it, but he's the boss, he doesn't get it, but he's the boss, he doesn't (want to) get it, but he's the boss's Needle Scratch. Cut. Change the record! Strangers...

How's zone out working out

Zone out is a privilege, or maybe just a coping technique for some people. Please transition to the next better thing...despairing situations have ben described...how one sad man ruins things...he is sexist and self-pitying...women search elsewhere...he doesn't get it...but he's the boss...the cat I tried to feed wanted to come in, was not interested in cheap cat food. Maybe someone else fed her. Cat that already lives here hisses...when I contacted people about a nokill shelter, they said the the one that used to be so great got bought by a movie star...now they only accept purebred kittens.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Kinda worth watching

Bridesmaids / Carol / Tennis Court
DO THE STUFF

There's differences

SIGH. Stories. Phone. Again. REAL SITUATIONS.  Lately, it really, really, really, really seems like, if you're a guy, and you've just coasted through life and gotten rightfully promoted for your hard work always, and never dealt with any nasty sexist B.S. and always was made to feel as if it was your right to get paid well and get respected (Of course! Since you're a guy! And you fit right into the OBN!) it's like...it's like we're on totally opposite planets, or something? Like, why do so many women I know have these problems? Especially ones going into traditionally male environments. And men, they are not taught to recognize what's happening. Why? Is life just like a big party game? You make money, you earn a pretty supporter who only says sweet things and never brings up anything negative, that's how it goes? Even women aren't supposed to talk about it too much because it's "too negative." BUT IT'S RIGHT THERE. AND IT'S SO NOT FAIR. I just... Words fail. AGAIN. It's a very frustrating time right now and it feels like it could CONTINUE FOREVER sometimes. And I remember being a kid, and telling myself, it wasn't that way anymore, since my mom was a single mother and a businesswoman. I would tell myself that it would all be worked out, as a grown up.

HA.

Part 2: This is kind of worse, probably. Sometimes I get distracted. Food tastes less tasty. I have to read something feminist.

http://jezebel.com/rebel-wilson-thinks-she-was-drugged-at-a-trendy-unnamed-1764253772?utm_source=taboola

http://jezebel.com/these-gals-stopped-a-rape-last-night-1779300793

Some people live in a bubble. They don't get angry about this stuff. I don't know what that's like.

Part 3:
Lots of dehydrated strawberries in my mouth. Lots.

Walking moments

Because we live in an imperfect world...it might be more natural to not fit in sometimes...so, let's say that you are where you are on a sidewalk at night...and you imagine a soldier in a field on the other side of the world...is that fitting for Memorial Day? Someone else on the other side of the world is alone. Someone in the same town is alone. Some other night will be different. Pain is progression...going from one state to another...this is why some people become deeply contemplative. The earth is a work in progress. Sometimes, you get through things. Another day will be different. Another night will be different. This is what it is. Things can and will change...evolve...soften...mellow...the wind can remind you...

Audio for later

I'll accomplish things and listen to these two:

http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/unfictional/a-dancer-dies-twice

http://snapjudgment.org/a-loss-for-words

What was wrong with the car?

"I have not seen this before. It's not in the books."
Well, it is running for today, at least.

"** **** ***** *** *** **?"

Felt like watching Howard's End's Umbrella Scene.

mad men's dads?

Interesting.... http://www.marketplace.org/2016/05/27/world/battle-airwaves-ruined-friendship If they came back...they would do better. "King" Sarnoff & E. Armstrong. (They would! Optimistic, positive POV!)

Go for a walk music

http://www.npr.org/sections/allsongs/2015/11/04/454317780/hear-eliot-st-from-a-new-album-by-quilt

music notes


Quilt ~ Passersby

''''''''''''''''''''

this is awful, someone made me look at it, awful awful awful AWFUL
http://www.avclub.com/article/guy-fierited-cruz-erotic-fan-fiction-may-be-our-da-237414

C&Cs

Car's ready. I worked on it for hours and couldn't find anything. Finally I just disconnected the battery and reconnected it and now it runs. Maybe there was a power surge or was something going on between the body control module and the computer. This is not in the books. But for now, it's working. You need a new car. Saw meowing cat drinking out of the pool quietly. Human: Poor kitty. It said: Meow. Walked by again. Cat had disappeared. Probably lost faith in the humans here. Sorry, cat. Maybe will still be able to rescue it or find a rescue organization for it somehow...

Previously: One person feeds a cat; others also feed it and ask whose cat it is. Could happen again?

O

"So while my refusal to keep laughing or making people comfortable may seem like a real fucking downer, the truth is that this is what optimism looks like."

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/28/jessica-valenti-my-life-as-a-sex-object

Because

if the universe is constantly sending me messages that keep pointing me in that direction, well, I will have to go there, and that is why I am not able to be properly "grateful" in the way that certain people would like me to be. When I feel grateful is when I experience kindness. That happens, too.

REALLY

"Just give me a hug, then, he said, opening his arms."

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/28/jessica-valenti-my-life-as-a-sex-object

Is a hug bad? NO! A hug is not bad! Is a hug bad?

NO!

So what's the problem???

The problem is (and this is probably going off in a different direction I haven't finished this article yet) men and women both have masculine sides and feminine sides and both men and women but especially men have been taught to degrade their feminine sides by a patriarchal society and this leads to unhealthy behaviors and imbalances.

It's not that a hug is bad.

Hardness in the world

"in my family, female suffering is linear: abuse is passed down like the world’s worst birthright, largely skipping the men and marking the women with scars, night terrors (and fantastic senses of humour)."

 ~ http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/28/jessica-valenti-my-life-as-a-sex-object 

That sounds familiar. Why is that.

Also, in so many places, still... If a man agitates, he's speaking out for progress. But if a woman agitates, she's ungrateful and has a bad attitude. So you better change your attitude, hadn't you? Why is is that women are rewarded more for listening to others and praising and being grateful. Women have to earn the right to be listened to by first doing those above things so the gatekeepers (and yes, they could be men, but they could also be women unconsciously subscribing to the same doctrines) reinforce the status quo over and over and over, but men don't have to do that as much.

Why does this situation still happen:
Man speaks: Oh your thoughts are automatically so worthy and interesting!
Woman speaks: zoooone out...look elsewhere...not listening to you today...

This is how it seems to me lately.

The other day, some young women were telling me about a man who routinely targets and harasses women. They told me that a woman with authority will just scold him for it like a child. They say he's done this for years. They have no confidence that he will change his behavior. The younger women were not happy. They don't want him to be scolded. They want him gone, out of their environment. I know people who have recently experienced very unfair work situations with male superiors. It wears one down. Then there are all the little subtle things that maybe wouldn't be so bad if there weren't all those other worse things going on, too. It wears one down. Then one has to figure out how to do other things, or go other places.

Oh why...

did I...

(lady against feminism
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/28/donald-trump-only-exists-because-hand-wringing-liberals-and-bull/
"there is no drought"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-water-california_us_574910e0e4b03ede4414f435)

...click

Subtle or not so subtle

Oh it is not.
  http://m.independent.com/news/2016/may/26/feminism-cancer-banner-sparks-heated-debate/

"There is a conflict between what women are told they will be rewarded for, and what they actually are rewarded for."

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/may/26/tara-moss-we-do-not-live-in-a-predominantly-feminist-world

Friday, May 27, 2016

Now I want to see something

Filmmaker Godfrey Reggio's Unique View of the World I want to see something by Artavazd Peleshyan. Oh, there's something on the internet. The Seasons of the Year. Should I watch it now? Mmm...it seems to have a lot of sheep in it.

You never know

what will restore your faith in humanity. I was feeling so tired for a number of reasons, and especially because there were more stories (real ones) of women being treated badly at their workplaces and I went to a fast food place for something to eat. The girl brought out food for me and asked me "Would you like that table wiped down?" It was hardly dirty at all, there was just a straw wrapper on it. But I said "Yes." Then she told a man to wipe it down and he did so. He said, "I'm sorry about that." "Oh no, that's okay, I know it get's busy on Friday!" The girl said, "All these kids, you know," and rolled her eyes a bit and left. I said "Thank you," to the man and I sat there and ate my unhealthy meal. It was so great. It wasn't that he served me (although it was) but he just was happy to do so. I was so happy, and grateful, and I appreciated it so much. I gave him a very happy goodbye when I left and he returned it. It felt so nice and so rare and so genuine. Wow.

I feel like I should get this again

Koyaanisqatsi and the others

After a nap...

I had a dream that some men on the radio were taking the opportunity to be critical of some girls with regards to their behavior...they were being lavish with moral judgments... When everything is changing constantly and when we look at history, I believe that we can have room to remain curious about multiple approaches to learning and growing...sometimes what might be accepted in 50 or 100 years or more will not be the most popular approach today...it will not win the most money or praise...but that does not mean that it has no merit...

PG

"Anthem" by Philip Glass became an earworm because of TTS-Growing suspicious and Powaqqatsi

But then...

It meowed more. Someone left it. That's why it meows so much.Some other people are out there. Maybe... Stray cat turned mostly indoor cat who stays downstairs and does not meow so much is vigilant at the door...

it's night

That cat meowed a fair amount and might have been left behind by humans. Rrrrrr. Went for the mail. Cat wasn't out anymore. Maybe someone else let that cat in. I have hope!!! It might be!!! Today: watched TTS again and heard Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man for the first time. Then looked for it and found a live version. Thought about how, to some of us, to hang out with the nerdier side of a person is better...just an observation...THESE ARE TO WATCH:


Yarn




Wiener Dog

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Sigh

The cat I never fed (not even once) was meowing outside again. "Is it a boy cat?" (Would not be good to let that one in, the girl that's in now hasn't been spayed yet.) "Well, it looks like a fluffy calico so it's probably a girl." "The last thing you want is a cat fight." SIGH. I wish someone else in the complex would take pity on this one. It's a pretty cat. (I had a funny thought I should tell it to use its looks to its advantage. Ha.) It looks like a combination of two cats I had before. But this other one came first and was hissing at the newcomer. Zero percent want a cat fight. Plus, there was a no pets rule when we moved in, and the only reason the cat's in now is because the landlady specifically had said she thought I should keep the cat. Other people have cats. Someone, help this cat! Or I will have to catch it and take it to a shelter, because I hate to have to ignore it. It wears on me. Maybe if it went to a shelter, someone would adopt it.

plans awry (again)

existential moment of the day: looking at the mountains as the sun went down, cell phone nearly dead, waiting for a tow
(quite uncertain, thinking about alternatives, things to do differently)
later riding in the back of the tow truck...
the driver's wife (?) tells him to turn up the song because she likes it
Like A Prayer...
after the drop-off and credit card payment,
walking down the sidewalk and looking up to see a familiar face
feeling a smile, spread arms wide to sing
Strangers In the Night...
"well, I hadn't heard from you in two hours so..."
"my phone died"
"I know"
parting at work place (refusing offer of bike)
walking more blocks home alone
the light at 7:45 p.m. in late May
a "gospel worship" place:
a woman with closed eyes
a woman reading
a woman crying
the backs of factories
How Does It Feel To Be One Of The Beautiful...
everything is curious, it is life
men in diners not seeing me see them
a bartender looking up, seeing me rest on a sidewalk bench
admiring, almost touching plants in gravel I haven't noticed before
oh the shadows and the hedges, fences, architecture
I can walk here at night, which makes me happy



Another Sunny Day ~ Belle and Sebastian & Animation by benzette

cat talk?

a nice cat was crying outside the door...I've never fed it, or even really petted it...actually I did see it around and tried to pet it once...at the time, it ran away...anyway, tonight it was very friendly and wanted to come inside, however...hiss hiss hiss hiss hiss...the cat that was here first is not having it...perhaps cats talk...this one went out and bragged to the others...now she's defending her territory...I tried looking up a local no-kill shelter and they are "full to capacity"...maybe if it hangs around, one of the other people who used to feed this cat will notice it...

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

starch

its the latest 

why buy anything expensive

for a cat




And a break...

Getting things accomplished while listening to podcast is wonderful.

Now imagining a sort of 1970s/80s-esque transition with watery blurryness and magical music which means "now our character is traveling back to the past."

Character finds herself at a time when a guy she was dating wanted her to be like, a size 4, apparently, and urged her to exercise a lot because it would "make her feel better about herself."

Character says: Actually, you know what makes me feel better about myself? Being me! Being me, and not being around you anymore! Thank you! Thank you very much!

came up by accident

is LA worse?
actually I do not think so
however...that's not everyone's experience...

http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/good-food/weight-fat-shaming-fed-up-the-movie-jonathan-golds-101 

whew....segue....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/07/things-women-judged-for-double-standard_n_4911878.html

"I genuinely feel that it’s been easier this time than the other 3,000 times I’ve gone on a diet..."

 ~ http://mynewsla.com/hollywood/2016/05/25/oprah-watches-scale-her-weight-watchers-stock-prices/

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Sometimes I get it

Sometimes I get why people do freefall risky things because it can almost be a form of play but I keep feeling pushed towards introversion and crochet so that's why the freefall risk stuff is just not for me and that's okay, because actually what some people don't know is that introversion and crochet is a different opportunity for play...

It's real really

Peoples' histories are layering
You're a soul born into a body
and you have your own talents
I'm a soul born into a different body
and I have different things to do
Yet maybe I once did things that you did
And vice versa
And
Um
That's
As
Far
As
I
Can
Go
With
That
At
The
Mo
ment

Monday, May 23, 2016

LL

Loop
Loop

La Luz ~ Big Blood

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/union-at-washington-post-exposes-gender-pay-gap.html



La Luz ~ Call Me In The Day

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/how-to-wear-pants-to-prom-if-your-school-says-no.html

Sometimes this is what plays

when a cat jumps on a desk between a human and a computer screen and parks itself there


California Honey Drops ~ Cryin' Blues

Impressive

!) There is a CAT CON.

!!) Muggles Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Overheard

On the way out:  "Sadly, the devil does wear Prada."
On the way in:  "Bring awareness and don't be one of the sheep."

(petite girl with notecards, dressed in a short flared skirt and matching top, giving a speech about the fashion industry)

and so it is...

BODY SCRUTINY

Thirst and awful feeling at 4 a.m., but not a trace of it at 9 p.m.?
http://pcosdiva.com/2013/05/a-dozen-pcos-anxiety-busters/
Too dizzy in the a.m., but fine to eat the leftover breakfast sandwich at dinner?
http://patient.info/forums/discuss/pcos-and-panic-attacks-62721
Small dark chocolate peanut butter cups and O.J. at night...
http://pcosdiva.com/2015/09/the-best-diet-for-pcos/

https://www.pinterest.com/source/tableforoneministries.com

BUTTERFLY CURIOSITY


}i{


}i{


http://www.clipartpanda.com/categories/blue-music-note-clipart

Mmmm....

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Sunday music sometimes ;-)

Sister Ethel Davenport ~ The World Can't Do Me No Harm

C

Compassion in moments of illness
Compassion in a difficult time
Compassion and looking forward to better times of wellness and happiness
Compass

Saturday, May 21, 2016

what is it?

a message in my inbox pointed out that horses would be running during a full moon in the rain

how interesting!

then I looked it up...oh no...

Preakness Day: 2 Horses Die, Jockey Injured...

Favor...

...the notion that people from very different backgrounds and talents and viewpoints can manage to work together and listen to each other and negotiate through differences and create some thing (or things) that are new and lovely and beneficial to humanity anyway....

Friday, May 20, 2016

That's different

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Princess_and_the_Pea

Hard exhale

It is the time of day when housemate takes a shower. Note to self: in the future, never get into a situation where the bathroom is next to your bedroom. Because some people have sinus issues. I do not enjoy the loud hacking sounds. So maybe that will be less in the future. (Pulls covers over head, hopes shower time is over soon.)

wishes/observations

I'm hungry and my lower back hurts. (Right side.)
I want to eat something and go back to sleep.
MAKE IT SO.

Creative approaches

Pain has awakened a body. SIGH. Interesting net distraction: There are 11 actions listed in this article... http://organizingchange.org/patriarchy-persists-can-change/

To enhance their appeal, perhaps these actions can be envisioned as.... A- Vegetation B- Food C- Sports or Exercise

Example A: If Action 1 to dismantle the patriarchy were a plant, what kind of plant would it be? Would its leaves be hard and pointy or soft and friendly?

Example B: Is action 2 to dismantle the partriachy more palatable if you visualize it as something to eat. Would it be macaroni and cheese? A chopped salad? A chocolate cupcake?

Example C: Action 3 to dismantle the patriarchy is most appealing if it is connected to baseball / running / yoga / NASCAR racing because...

SO MANY possibilities. SUCH FUN.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Stretchiness

Ah ha


"Nothing's more cuterus than..."

http://www.someecards.com/


Interesting Joker U
Joke

Insomnia. Too bad.

Willful misheard: shoulda been my little brother....It was a slow day. Not much was going on. Then trai- trai- trai- ...traits of successful human beings....train- trainer / training / trainee...Hullo, name's X, am a product of the patriarchy, trying to reform some bad habits. Remember when Y used to vex you so in the days of calloused feet. Oh that was funny. Brb. Uterus is winning again.

mm or mp

http://blogs.ucl.ac.uk/global-social-media/2015/05/12/memes-the-internets-moral-police/

BeforeGoingBackToSleep

Castor oil flannel ginger tea / Suffering or sweet absence of pain / Definitions of Success Motivation Nurturing or lack thereof / Patriarchal constructs / Friendships Betrayals Losses Gains Openness Values Genetics / A body to negotiate / Other lives Other views Other experiences Other structures / Others...

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Such s's

 Liquid Diamonds ~ "such was it" ~ Liquid Diamonds

???bepositivealways???

http://www.packagingdigest.com/labeling/california-to-allow-temporary-point-of-sale-prop-65-warnings-for-bpa-exposure-2016-05-16

http://www.environmentalhealthnews.org/ehs/news/2016/may/more-bpa-exposure-as-a-fetus-leaves-kids-fatter-at-age-7-nyc-study

http://bottomlineinc.com/bpa-is-particularly-bad-news-for-women-with-pcos/

http://www.environmentalhealthnews.org/ehs/newscience/early-life-bpa-exposed-rats-develop-polycystic-ovarian-syndrome/

http://truemedmd.com/2014/05/pcos-bpa-endocrine-disruptors-part-three/

Kinda witty game idea

What if there was a video game that combined colorful obstacle course-like visuals with certain types of social situations. For example:

http://mansplained.tumblr.com/post/62715497986/entitlement-according-to-a-male-undergrad
Ah - ha.
http://mansplained.tumblr.com/post/64030237980/its-my-sense-of-smell
Hmmm
http://mansplained.tumblr.com/post/64210043517/meta-mansplain-with-a-twist
Interesting
http://mansplained.tumblr.com/post/64139870538/your-dissertation-let-me-mansplain-it-to-you
Really
http://mansplained.tumblr.com/post/64047127097/shell-be-stunned-all-right
Oh my

Perhaps it could take place within gigantic uteri, ovaries, and fallopian tubes.

Having a weird craving for grilled cheese and tomato soup. Huh.
Now remembering the girls going crazy for a grilled cheese and tomato soup special every Wednesday at an all women's college. I never did. But then I tried it once. Thereafter I succumbed to Wednesday's grilled cheese and tomato soup mania. It was at a grill place next to the rather old-fashioned post office. I might still have the "Dead doctors don't lie" cassette tape that I received in my mailbox. None of my other friends at school got it. I never listened to it, but I never exactly forgot it. (Kind of a startling title.) It's online now. I could play it in the background, while cleaning or something. Anyway. Grilled cheese / tomato soup mania. Does that still happen?

Maybe it does.

~~~~~~

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Audio

There's a lot I enjoy in this interview (between Tish Pearlman and Alice Fulton), especially between 14:00 and 20:00.

Lines from a poem:

The universe's ignorance of me is privacy
I know the endangered meadow in a way
it will never know itself.


******

...Haven't I been given
everything, my life?
I might as well revise

the opening to read
the universe adores me.
It leans. It likes. It feels

no one could fail in quite
the same way as I've.


(from "Sequel" by A. Fulton)

Yawns


Making your cat yawn is easy

E & E

https://mrpsmythopedia.wikispaces.com/Euterpe


Contemplative Euterpe (?) picture at the bottom

maybe2

 Domestic

"The control of female sexuality through the institutions of patriarchal marriage is not incidental to patriarchy, but rather is central. The customs that surround patriarchal marriage including the requirement that brides are untouched sexually or “virgin,” the “protection” of a girl’s virginity by her father and brothers, the seclusion of girls and women, the requirement that wives must be sexually faithful to their husbands, and the enforcement of these customs through shaming, violence, and the threat of violence, all have one purpose: to ensure that a 'man’s' children are his."

"One might ask: why it is so important for a man to know who his biological children are that a complicated system of secluding and shaming women in order to control their sexuality had to be developed?  The answer is found in the next clause of my definition: patriarchy is a system of male domination in which men dominate women through the control of female sexuality with the intent of passing property to male heirs."

~ https://feminismandreligion.com/2013/02/18/patriarchy-as-an-integral-system-of-male-dominance-created-at-the-intersection-of-the-control-of-women-private-property-and-war-part-1-by-carol-p-christ/ 

PLUS
"Loss of control."
"Excess uncertainty."
"Surprise, surprise!"
"Everything seems different."
"Loss of face."
"Concerns about competence."
"More work."
"Ripple effects."
"Past resentments."      
"Sometimes the threat is real. Now we get to true pain and politics. Change is resisted because it can hurt. When new technologies displace old ones, jobs can be lost; prices can be cut; investments can be wiped out. The best thing leaders can do when the changes they seek pose significant threat is to be honest, transparent, fast, and fair. For example, one big layoff with strong transition assistance is better than successive waves of cuts.

Although leaders can’t always make people feel comfortable with change, they can minimize discomfort. Diagnosing the sources of resistance is the first step toward good solutions. And feedback from resistors can even be helpful in improving the process of gaining acceptance for change."

~ https://hbr.org/2012/09/ten-reasons-people-resist-chang


some army news

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/israeli-s-first-transgender-officer-army-wants-wants-me-succeed-n571841

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/sikh-u-s-army-captain-fights-for-right-to-wear-beard-and-turban/

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/first-openly-gay-army-secretary-nominee-stalled-single-senator-n573881

May BE

Guyzzzzzz

Neighbors 2 trailer

"In real life, the 26 member sororities governed by the National Panhellenic Conference indeed forbid drinking in sorority houses as a rule. No alcohol means no hosting of house parties on par with the fraternities. The problem is, that puts all the power in the hands of male-run social events on campuses across the country. Sororities can host parties, technically speaking—but they either have to co-host them with fraternities, or hire a third-party vendor in order to do so. Which means they require either male permission or outside help to throw their own parties."

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/05/14/why-don-t-sororities-have-the-right-to-party-like-frats.html

########

"Recently, I asked my dad why he allowed me to listen to Howard's sexist rants when I was just a teenager. He had no good answer. I think maybe he wanted me to understand that, no matter what I did, there were people who would judge me by values I couldn’t control. I remember a conversation around that time in which he told me that every man looked at every woman and decided within 30 seconds whether he wanted to have sex with her. “Boys are stupid,” he often said, “every single one of them.”

"Until Donald Trump decided to run for president, I hadn’t had much reason to think about Howard in the last 25 years."

~ http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/howard-stern-donald-trump-dad-objectified.html

########

"In conversations, many women who support Mr. Trump expressed similar defenses of their preferred candidate. He’s not sexist, he’s just not politically correct. He’s not a career politician, so he doesn’t stick his finger in the wind before he says something. He believes in treating women as tough as he treats men. The news media has distorted his message with cherry-picked sound bites. If he were sexist, would he have promoted so many female executives, including his daughter, within his own company?"

~ http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/10/opinion/campaign-stops/the-women-who-like-donald-trump.html?_r=0

Saturday, May 14, 2016

123

1. Crunchy multiseed crackers and round organic grapes are a very good salty sweet combination.

2. Thinking dissatisfied thoughts about room dishevelment can be too irritating.

3. Stretching is wonderful. Much better than preoccupation with room dishevelment. Life needs more stretchiness.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

what is this

The Seven Stellar Gateways of Healing

Medicine?

Now I never want to take Levaquin.

13 things you need to know about antibiotic resistance / We might soon have a new way...

We're all so...

Heterosimilar.
And we need to point it out.
A lot.

http://www.out.com/news-opinion/2016/3/11/less-50-teens-identify-straight-says-new-study

We're old.

different motivations

a) motivated by money and accolades, don't care as much about environmental problems

b) motivated by working with nature, don't care as much about money and accolades

~~~~

"But I am motivated by what you are not and I am a part of nature, too."

Well, true I suppose.

Elvis and bottles
"Nature is amazing"



whoa

Fire rainbows

where have all...

nottoabogmaybe
toenvironmentallesbos

(Fix

~~~~~

That was opened to a nice page

http://poemsweetpoem.blogspot.com/2012/02/sappho-on-edge-of-world.html


They. Are. So.

Cats jumping
Cloud angel

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

time warpy things

"Normal in the 1960s!"

http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/07/living/sixties-women-5-things/

Now what on earth will people be saying about stuff that's "normal" now in the 2060s...

hmmm

http://www.kionrightnow.com/news/local-news/pilot-program-aimed-at-pesticide-protection-near-schools/39479976

Oh well

I will tidy things and listen to this: 

LOL:




Sighs for all sizes

"In addition to sharing your dress size, you should also look cute and charming."

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/05/people-dress-size-campaign.html

It's quite annoying when a man who could have done better ignores everything else you said but is real good at focusing on the "amusing girl rivalry due to patriarchal societal bias in regards to certain types of appearances" aspect,  and he doesn't actually give a whit about the societal bias. Just because it doesn't affect him negatively. Why not use the imagination? It's also annoying when a woman does the same thing.


~~~~~~

"Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it."

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html

~~~~~

http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensenews/2012/08/07/ladydrawers-creates-big-picture-of-cartoon-bias/#249232662150


elsewhere!

Yellow and Blueness

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Oh...really



Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Ballet and Baseball...
http://www.eltonjohn.com/about/sports/baseball/
http://www.criticsatlarge.ca/2011/11/love-lies-bleeding-pop-ballet-that.html
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/alberta-ballet-elton-john-yukichi-hattori-1.3566030

art stuff

"Art is selfish" ~ Helga

https://marygilmartin.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/andrew-wyeth-1917-2009/

So's eating, apparently.

http://www.ksbw.com/news/pesticide-exposure-in-children-studied-in-new-report/39480046

~ http://www.ewg.org/agmag/2016/05/kids-are-frontline-pesticide-exposure

just because she was so nice

going to the dentist was the highlight of my day
not like the old dentist who was not nice enough
the dental assistants were better too

bye not great corn chips

throwing them away as a reminder of my autonomy

I have felt

that this is following me somewhat

http://civileats.com/2016/05/10/children-in-farm-communities-paying-steep-a-price-for-the-food-we-all-eat-pesticides/

http://usrtk.org/pesticides/what-is-going-on-with-glyphosate-epas-odd-handling-of-controversial-chemical/

https://www.geneticliteracyproject.org/2016/05/09/popular-organic-pesticide-copper-sulfate-compare-synthetic-ones-like-glyphosate/

Blessed...

...dentist.
Lovely lovely bedside manner...Wonderful wonderful experience... 100% worth paying out of pocket. Unexpected: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire playing on the ceiling...

Dream / "IRL"

Dream: I got an urge to move faster so I began running.

My holey hooded pullover camouflaged me so people thought I was a goofy kid, ducking out of the way of cars, perhaps not appearing to be very bright or coordinated, kind of like an unsophisticated sort of "Harry Potter" type who ran into side streets but was having fun with this particular form of movement.

(I looked up goofy runner. This is a thing, apparently. Oh my god.)

IRL: I went to a park, saying to myself that I would only go on a little hike, not climb the big hill this time. Then I turned on the other street and parked next to the big hill.

I thought about climbing it. There were people setting up a party with decorations and gift bags and little kids running around. Hungry Heart was on the radio. That reminded me of East Coast things.

(7-up signs...
Highways...
Italian bakery cases)

I decided to walk up the hill. Even before I got to the entrance (I haven't climbed it in 3 months) I was not happy. But actually climbing it wasn't so bad. I took a lot of rest breaks. Why not? I was there to take in the views. Also I walked up backwards for some of the way.

Some other day it might be fun to go all the way to the top without stopping, but that was a day to take breaks and enjoy the views.

On the way down I passed another woman. She was quite a bit lighter than I am. She was taking in the views, too. I told her there's a nice tree a little ways further to rest under and she said "Oh, no, I'm going all the way up to the top!" For a minute I thought that meant she wasn't going to take anymore breaks, but she told me she stops every fifty feet. We told each other "Everyone stops to rest." Of course, that's not true, but quite a few people do. There are "scenic stops" at most every turn.


Monday, May 09, 2016

ha ha ha

"So if it's a boy,
I want to marry you."
 
~ http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/b/baby-mama-script-transcript-fey.html 

Also the O'Nutter's guy is in it.

Sad something

It seems like Amy just went with her gut.


Corn chips

I was trying to eat corn chips the other day and they tasted completely disgusting. Not stale. Just terrible.

"One of the most widely used and most troublesome endocrine-disrupting pesticides in the U.S. is atrazine. Manufactured by agro-chemical giant Syngenta, atrazine is sprayed mostly on Midwest corn fields and is consistently one of the most detected crop chemicals in drinking water."

~ http://www.ewg.org/agmag/2016/04/widely-used-hormone-disrupting-pesticides-put-millions-risk

after that

a film about pesticide exposure...and...well...

http://www.psr.org/environment-and-health/environmental-health-policy-institute/responses/the-health-costs-of-our-food-production-system.html

http://komonews.com/archive/local-doctors-link-pesticides-to-infertility-in-women

http://www.tennessean.com/story/life/health/2016/04/12/infertility-issues-take-financial-emotional-toll/82115298/

oops

I live with a person who decided to rent this:

http://jezebel.com/384156/baby-mama-is-fertile-ground-for-mixed-feelings-from-reviewers

Me back when reviews were written: Oh, a light comedy.
Me now: Why did you rent that. Because so and so's are in it.
Yeah.
Maybe should rent a movie where society tells women hey if you don't do ever this, you are a completely worthless human being and you have to deal with that and it makes that funny. Maybe a movie where the equivalent of your favorite whomever wearing large spike heels and mashing through your eyes and forehead and brains and blood and guts spilling out just to you know eradicate the weird maybe hormonally induced biological not really it's merely society has not wait what is that gruesome imagery all about. Okay nevermind. Ha ha. The beginning was...well only two minutes of a life wasted is not that long.
Um, not tonight for that one I guess.

This was...

another Madonna
so many characters
Somber

Sunday, May 08, 2016

Random passages

"Because back then especially, truckers really had that cowboy thing going. So I would sit in the truckers-only section, and I’d talk to them. Every single one of them thought I was a hooker, but that was all right, I didn’t care what they thought I was. And I became fascinated with them and just kept talking about them to Michael."

~ http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/6421/the-art-of-nonfiction-no-8-jane-and-michael-stern

*********

"Just look what they did for Cincinnati chili."

~ http://www.eater.com/2015/12/2/9835720/roadfood-jane-stern-michael-stern-history

M & M

I felt like Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters was playing in my head for some reason after a weird tea shop experience...I gave a chair to another table and the woman who took it was quite haughty.
She talked about her husband chastising her for being jealous and said things in Spanish like "estupido" and "bolsa" (looking at my bag, purse). When I looked over at her she smirked and walked right in front of my table as her friends laughed and said it again. She did it like 3 or 4 times. I haven't a clue as to the particulars of what she was really talking about or why because my Spanish eavedropping skills seem to have diminished. All I could make out was bits of gossip "Ella es guapa, pero Maria es bonita." OH. Almost Famous, that's what movie that was in...

Kitchen Duties Radio & Food Amuse

Picnics!!!
http://www.splendidtable.org/story/how-to-take-your-picnic-to-the-next-level

Pork...
http://www.splendidtable.org/story/inside-the-factory-farm-where-97-of-us-pigs-are-raised

Roadfood...
(that's a restaurant across from The Masters where people "work for a higher calling" =they say on the podcast, between minute 14 and 15... "If you feel too weak to pray, please write your prayer request on this piece of paper....a member of our staff will pray on your behalf" )

******

Hmmm...




m légendes

MARY ~  "A stray cat happened to wonder by. The cat paused at the sound of the baby crying.  Instinctively the cat jumped into the manger and settled down next to Jesus. Jesus  peacefully fell fast asleep snuggled up against the soft and warm cat. In loving gratitude Mary stroked the forehead of the cat. As she did the cat received the mark of Mary. The M would for all eternity be a reminder of Mary’s gratitude of the lovely act of kindness."
~ http://domesticcatworld.com/tabby-cat

http://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2015/12/nativity-cat/421791/

MUHAMMED  ~ " Muhammad was sitting with his favorite cat. The cats name was Muezza. Muezza had fallen asleep on part of the robe that Muhammad was wearing. As he sat there quietly he heard the call to prayer. Muhammad needed to go but did not want to wake up his cat. He took out his knife and very carefully cut off the sleeve of his robe. The cat slept undisturbed and Muhammad attended the prayer meeting. Legend has it that ever since that special incident the tabby cat has the mark of Muhammad on its forehead." ~  http://domesticcatworld.com/tabby-cat

just for fun M-Day Meal

Mostly Madonna Sandwich:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3579034/Madonna-makes-time-son-Rocco-plans-summer-family-holiday-children.html

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/madonnas-daughter-lourdes-makes-modeling-debut-for-stella-mccartney-w166915

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3579349/Madonna-wears-quirky-lace-outfit-dines-Marc-Jacobs-blasting-sexist-critics-Met-Gala-dress.html


tiny crusts,  ginormous filling
not entirely audible but audible enough 

Headline pretty good

Christ Does Soft Return To Gauge Interest

Saturday, May 07, 2016

I support

knowing that LOVE is on the planet for people to enjoy in spite of it all!!! Even in spite of communication difficulties.

I support healing anxiety and dental issues. Seriously. For everyone. That's my insight of the evening.

Oh yeah and that self compassion stuff is for everyone too.

O mother of the world

Inconclusive Friday visit and tooth wasn't so bad but made an appointment to go back in a week. Today went to two parks and here were some nice experiences I was thinking about writing about but tonight the tooth thing is worse, ever since eating dinner. I've taken Aleve. It's not that it's so painful, but it feels so off. Something is wrong. I'm so tired of this. Warm salt water again. Mother of the World. Have mercy on my health situation, please. What is the positive? I have a good feeling about warm salt water. I will take Oil of Oregano, too. I will do a meditation. Love is for those of us who are tired, too. Healing. People need healing. Everyone needs healing. Better care for their bodies and spirits and everything. 
~~~~~
Okay. I am on minute two. 18 minutes to go? A desperate person swishes coconut oil in her mouth. This is fairly gross. Wow. Minute 3...Maybe I will cry. I don't understand how eating a healthy dinner can trigger this yucky feeling and really there was a nice day going on, too, with the two parks and I saw some nice things. Honestly. Honestly. Honestly. I should look up "Here Comes The Sun." There's music for my tooth and all the pain it represents. The emotional stuff too. Minute five. Here's a chipper person on ukulele singing that song. Way to go you made it to minute eight. Oh my god. Minute ten. My cheek swishing muscles are tired. This is the whimper. As opposed to the bang. I don't care what poem that's from. Minute 11. Some of this stuff is not in my mouth anymore. God created people who made paper towels for a wonderful reason. What can our mouths do. When we communicate imperfectly. A mother creates a person who grows up and gets miserable about a tooth issue and swishes oil in her mouth. Minute 14. The end is in sight. I will write about those happy things I saw today. But not right now. I have coconut oil swish in my mouth. This is fairly gross. That was mentioned. Maybe people just do this to get their mind off things. It is an experience. It might help. It probably won't make it worse. WOW HUMAN EXPERIENCE. 3 more minutes to go. Never do this without paper towels handy. Why are we on this planet. Why. To swish oil in our mouths for twenty minutes and survive that. Yes one more minute. I have to admit. The experience. Is. Something.