Holy crochet

http://ambassadorcrochet.com/2012/07/31/what-is-mandala-crochet/

a lot I don't know

about this stuff... http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/06/28/it-s-time-to-legalize-drugs-an-open-letter-to-congress-and-the-president.html

He can help

Billy Swan ~ I Can Help

Really

ajayan.com

Never knew

A "civic duty" could feel so unhealthy.

Come, healthsomeness

Feel sick about the week ahead. So. Need to call in the healthsomeness...

Weird like that

Shows of my tender youth...



I didn't care for this show when I was younger. Yet now, certain clips entertain me.




If I watch too many of them, I start to remember not liking it...some other things are more unkind and sleazy....but  then again, sometimes life is unkind and sleazy. Like the stories male Ph Ds would swap about irresponsible sexual encounters in bars in grad school...or cocktail waitresses making lists of coworkers' potential STDs...

How bizarre

After seeing she was the Double Trouble twins' sister, I looked up Peg Bundy and discovered I have a surprise fondness for watching old Married W/ Children clips (& I did not especially like that show when it was on.) I have tapped into a new vein of hilarity! Is this like when I "matured" into liking insipid Monty Python. HA!

Learning/relearning some things

A song again...

Fey ~ Popocatepetl


Half of the books came. I was able to deliver some gifts (Fortunately the Milk, Odd and The Frost Giants, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Madlibs) sooner then I expected. (Excitement over the Madlibs. "This one looks good," one said about Odd and The Frost Giants. I'm sure someone will have a good word for Fortunately the Milk...)

I had a long visit and then I walked home.
I stared at one of those little liquidambar seed balls...I felt like I'd been meditating because the world was all about the seed ball, and the light on the side walk around it, and the road and the neighborhood and the sun and the sky...

Then either a bug or a green seed pod flew into my mouth.

The boys have told me that not being able to go back stinks.

If you are a refugee, may you ever travel? I looked it up and found this...

Yes. However, if you have been granted asylum, you should be aware that your grant of asylum may be terminated if, among other things, it is determined that you voluntarily availed yourself of the protection of your country of nationality, you have acquired a new nationality, or you are no longer eligible for asylum due to a fundamental change in circumstances. Similarly, your asylum status may be terminated if there was fraud in your application such that you were not eligible for asylum. Therefore, if your travel suggests...

No. You do not get to go back and visit your family, even if you are a little kid.

While the boys played on the playground, we discussed Mexico. I said, "Isn't there a song?"

We both chanted:

Una flor de calabaza de color de la mostaza...

Listen

Do you want to know a secret?

I put oil in my car and under the influence of night star-ceiling I thought about how the grass is still growing...(no I did not think about the drought)

St. Augustine
Kikuyu
Bermudagrass
etc.

Idle little wish

I wish I could find that part from the old show "Double Trouble" with the song about Maxi burgers.

http://www.tv.com/shows/double-trouble/episodes/

Honestly

News.

http://www.salon.com/2015/06/23/another_attack_on_poor_women_texas_ousts_planned_parenthood_from_cancer_screening_program/

&

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/11/africa/boko-haram-pregnant-victim/

Sometimes it seems like the world is just too tremendously good at treating women like crap.

Eternal conflict of the heart

Cat of the neighbor
How to feel
~~~
Maybe it's because my first cat was a calico...

Dante lives...

That was a thought I had when I put this on!

C. Anthony Martignetti reads his story "HATE!"

Also,
having a strong sense of curiosity about Russell Brand's Pied Piper tale...

Linda voz

Linda Ronstadt ~ Blue Bayou

What I thought

I thought, that looks beautiful... http://www.postandcourier.com/article/20150621/PC16/150629842/1177/thousands-cross-ravenel-bridge-for-unity-peace

Song for tonight

for some reason



Roy O ~ Blue Bayou

To read: Crenshaw

http://publishersweekly.com/9781250043238

Impulse gift buying

I don't know, but...the family of a boy I used to tutor is leaving the area. Two boys plus mom who works as a caregiver and will be going to a new school for nursing. I could not do what she does. Two rambunctious boys just finished 4th and 6th grade. They love TMNT and making comic books. She also makes them read Shakespeare.

Fortunately, the Milk

Coraline

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mad Libs

Personal Power Through Awareness: A Guidebook for Sensitive People

Odd and the Frost Giants

wee

http://twinpixiestudios.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/11/song-of-hope.html

By who?

pinterest

Instructive

http://firepianosushi.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Eat-a-Kumquat-307842148

Invisible Hands

"The months-long movement received surprisingly little media attention on this side of the border—even though, according to a new documentary by Al Jazeera America, it is the first strike of this scale in Mexico in over a decade."

“'Invisible Hands' shows how the protestors’ militancy cannot keep their demands from plunging: they first demand almost $20 a day; the growers counteroffer with a raise of only about 50 cents. The workers return with a much lower proposal of $13 a day. But even that is too much for the growers. The protests all but ended this month with a mixed victory for the pickers: They have been promised government-required benefits and between $9.50 and $11.50 a day, depending on where they work—far less than they had originally demanded."

~ http://inthesetimes.com/working/entry/18094/documentary_shows_desperate_struggles_of_mexican_workers_in_historic_strike

For food's sake...

"...just over one percent of the nation’s farmworkers are covered by union agreements."

~ http://inthesetimes.com/working/entry/1807 /california_appeals_court_rules_farm_workers_law_unconstitutional

sea things

Bamboo & sea waves

I thought so much about life and death on beaches and in gardens. I felt energy in my body as I dipped my feet in the ocean. Later I did not feel well and needed to lie on grass and in a gazebo. I recovered and walked the grounds. Then I needed another rest, and in the shade of a thicket of bamboo, food of pandas (the sign said), tears of immense sadness came from a message that one of my relatives was acquainted with a woman who died tragically along with others when their sanctuary was invaded. A beautiful soul, a prolific grower of roses. After a while, I left that place and looked more varieties. Beauty berry. I walked up to a sculpture in front of some black bamboo, which I had never seen before.

The description seemed appropriate.

Coolmusictreeees

Tosca ~ Mango di Bongo

whee

I'm gonna see a nice lady about a massage.
I'm kinda happy.

~~~~

After tomorrow I'm gonna be singing...



The Beautiful Sea

u know u know u know u know

you can love yourself even if you get frustrated with your body sometimes...

Pursuable interest...

http://www.massagetherapy.com/articles/index.php/article_id/1200/Lymph-Drainage-for-Detoxification-

Dear U(niverse)

I am sorry to be boring but Universe, I am so very tired of health issues and fears and I really need both help and to change my attitude. Also I don't know if conventional medicine will fix me at this point soooo...I am hoping for some guidance...gracias...

Global worries

Speaking on the influx of migrant workers, head of the UN Kanayo Nwanze addressed concerns that migrants were stealing jobs from residents, such as the low-paying positions of "professor" and "bottler" from the locals at their Punch and Judy shows.

Just kidding.

Wow, ID

I looked at the crazy news cycle...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/15/the-surprising-ways-caitlyn-jenner-and-rachel-dolezal-are-now-linked/

And this Ted Bundy reference? What, no Green River Killer?

Also, don't drive here:

http://www.tmz.com/2015/06/15/mc-supreme-killed-malibu-accident-pch-bruce-caitlyn-jenner/

Snickersome

"Discussing the series' billing as "Entourage with easels"
  ~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desperate_Romantics

Bird's Eye View

By Robin Moline. On pinterest

Oh oh oh...

Spring on the Farm by Robin Moline

Dystopian

"Look"
Hollywood At It's Worst


"Believe"
It's a Small and Exclusionary World After All


"Look"
The Day I Discovered My Daughter Was No Dove

earworm

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

something artsy

http://hellobrightlights.blogspot.com/2010/05/art-rules-world.html

~

http://severelycalm.tumblr.com/post/13214407122/nezua-fouronesix-harvestheart-chinese

body for dancing

Today I accidentally stumbled across a festival and there were hula dancers of a variety of body types happily performing on stage.

Guess what I did? I started to pick out the one that would be most suitable according to the "Hollywood" ideal for the body type of a hula dancer.

SICK.

cool 3

wp

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/06/eerie-chalkboard-drawings-frozen-in-time-for-100-years-discovered-in-oklahoma-school/

~

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/12/29/world-war-i-soldiers-room-untouched-for-almost-100-years/

~

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2015/05/31/clintons-campaign-will-make-substance-abuse-mental-health-key-issues/

Sunday

What's the thing where you keep sleeping a lot?

Oh my god, you unloaded the dishwasher for me!

I keep eating fruit leather.

I wonder if migrant workers would enjoy fruit leathers.

Or maybe they'd melt and get all sticky.

And then...

That artistic latte came with a delicious cream puff and a toasted sandwich with very crunchy lettuce.

After I encountered the guy who might've been a migrant worker (how did he decide to come there? Did he meet someone who said "I know a woman who works in the back...") I went to the grocery store and when I came home I discovered that one of the baggers accidentally slipped in a bunch of fruit leathers.

Traveler

I went out to find cute latte art. A purple tea with a foamy bear, and another customer, a man who only spoke Spanish, came to the counter and asked for help. They called a woman from the back to translate. He needs to go al norte. He wanted a refresco. He asked if we could help. Two dollars cash. Then he waited at a sunny table, gazed at the mountains out a big window, and put his head down. Tired. "Senor," said the manager (?), and they walked out, carrying brown paper bags with... ??? After the manager returned, a girl behind the counter pressed change into his hand and he ran back down the stairs...

http://www.thepennyhoarder.com/how-to-save-money-when-youre-living-paycheck-to-paycheck/irl

Friday, Friday

Cal-OSHA settles farmworker suits over heat-related deaths

When you need to

You can always stare in the mirror and say, "At least I'm a powerful person with a fun sense of humor."

For the win

Note to some sides of myself sometimes:
Fresh air      Kindness      Bravery
That seems like a good three to start with!!!

Question of all

Body, are you to teach me something?

Yes and please

Fatigue reminder: You have to take care of yourself.

water in a poem

In the Cannery the Porpoise Soul by Juan Felipe Herrera

Porpoise ~ Xavier Cortada

Hey!

Gonna go check out some poems.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2015/06/10/son-of-migrant-ca-farm-workers-named-u-s-poet-laureate-first-latino-ever-to-receive-honor/

~~~~

http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-poet-laureate-herrera-20150610-story.html

Whinny. Snort.

Well, why didn't great-grandma...

Look, great-grandma thought that giving your generation a chance to clean up the environment would be CHARACTER-BUILDING.

* * * * *

As a matter of fact, for the time, she was concerned about the environment, too. In her own way...

* * * * *

I mean, she paid a lot of attention to her diet.

http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/What-Like-Always-Diet-37668339

Avoid Oxybenzone, and stuff

My inbox informed me that the wrong type sunscreen could "increase the risk that your future daughter will develop PCOS and other health problems." (Gasp! why are you telling me this now?)

So of course I had to research, even though I don't currently have such a worry to worry about!

~ http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Safest-Sunscreens-23146248

Then I gravitated to quotable food snark:

"In some respects, it's worked: being Paleo has killed my will to live, so I'm too sad to snack. My abs look pretty damn good, but I suspect that's from all the nights I spend wracked with sobs because I can't eat anything fun. I would take a selfie to show you, but this isn't Facebook and I'm not your misguided teenage niece."

"Carrot Cake Cookies (aka, Pucks of Suffering)"

"Remember when we cared about things? Remember when our great aunt sat us on the counter of her kitchen in Rome and we watched her fold tortellini by hand, which she made just for us? And how she smiled as we sat there, staring intently at her hands?

Remember that little girl? Who spoke Italian effortlessly and ate carbs with abandon? What would she think of all this?"

~http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Paleo-Diet-Experience-37631676
HA HA HA

I would still try the cookies.

I'm having what I'm having

These are really good....

READING (wow)
You Think You Have Time: Hiking the Lowest to Highest Trail 

LISTENING to the radio
Waxahatchee ~ Air
Mitski ~ First Love / Late Spring
The Blow ~ True Affection

DRINKING (super-appreciatively)
COLD fizzy water out of a beautiful glass from a brewery I long time ago worked at

Right now and water

Right now I temporarily have no water.
It's interfering with my day in many ways.
I had warning ahead of time and prepared. But I still keep expecting the water to come out of the tap, the toilet to flush, etc...

Right now...

http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2015/06/10/in-droughts-firm-grip-california-schools-try.html


http://kron4.com/2015/06/09/a-year-later-california-drought-relief-money-is-unspent/

How to chew on a breakfast smoothie

Add le seaweed.

hmmm...healing...

www.motheringinthemiddle.com

Le tired

Tried of mysterious ailmenty aches and tired of being afraid of them and going to an appointment later in the week and hope it will be a positive experience.

Classic

As I attempt to study, boyfriend puts in "Now, Voyager."

http://imoviequotes.com/favorite-scenes-and-now-voyager-quotesnow-voyager-1942.html

Trees have branches

http://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/2014/12/22/guided-meditation-for-connecting-with-your-ancestors/

I felt his words deep within me. I knew them to be true. And I felt something else, so sharp, so painful that my eyes pricked with tears. “I have no children, ” I said. “The line stops with me.”

“Aye. In the tree of this family the line stops with you. And it is as was planned, although you no longer remember. But that is not how a soul group works. We are threaded through the bloodlines of this wider family, and we will continue to reappear through the line as oft suits us. Younger souls, older souls – all helping each other, all growing and learning and becoming. Over and over again. Having no children in this life does not conclude the line, only this small branch of the tree.”

I couldn’t stop the tears that ran down my cheeks. I’d always thought that one day I would be a mother, and though I am resigned to it, part of me still aches that it will never be.

“You and I, we are gardeners tending the family line. We prune a branch here and there so that the tree may grow strong and true. There isn’t only this. We are eternal. You are eternal. We all endure. We all go on. And love, love binds us all. There’s no harm done in this line stopping here. It shall go on somewhere else in this vast old tree. We are always connected, and you are never, ever alone.”

From: http://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/2013/10/27/understanding-soul-groups/

Mwah

Had a nice bout of self care today.  I actually found decent clothing for a good price! Sure, I tried on 5x more things than I actually wanted to, but that's just the way clothes shopping works for some people. I was a child once and didn't worry too much about my size. Sadly, though, there were times that I did, even at a young age, thanks to certain messages projected at me, but still. There were also times when I let go of that!

It's good to go back to a more carefree mindset...people who struggle with body issues based on their genetics really need to give themselves self-care...sometimes it's more important to do that.

That's why I don't go on message boards about PCOS a lot...it's good that they exist, but sometimes seeing all that grief about body issues and infertility can really get you down. I know some people want to throw themselves off a cliff about those kinds of things, because of the narrow messages that society gives them about the worth of women.  That is not nurturing, and I know my spirit is not supposed to be confined by those things.

In the words of an old song, "Don't do me like that."

Going clothes shopping with a coupon!

I'm going clothes shopping with a coupon I'm going clothes shopping with a coupon I'm going clothes shopping with a coupon I'm going clothes I'm going clothes shopping with a coupon I'm going clothes shopping with a coupon  shopping with a coupon shopping with a coupon shopping shopping shopping happy early father's day sales I took measurements

Plus, good old music...

Spill the wine....

Pinterest

http://www.alexandertwain.com/2014/09/25/weird-news-raising-cigarette-prices-means-people-drink-less-beer/

Inspiralizing

Want to try yoga again and make squash noodles and pet cats!

http://infertilityhonesty.com/2015/05/22/future-generations/

http://lexiscleankitchen.com/

https://substance.media/congratulations-it-s-a-cat

Weight

This story I read with interest:

Everyone is Beautiful. Except You. You're Fat.

The author describes how she was treated before and after. Some people in my family have shared these experiences with me, too. I also was teased for being heavy as a child. I look back at pictures, and I wasn't really that heavy. But thin children thought I was. Maybe PCOS has something to do with it, but I never made the weight chart. EVER. Not even when I was "thin" for my size.

Age 21, walked everywhere, lacked money, didn't eat many fattening things, felt hungry oftener, got cold easily, bought smaller sizes of clothing, went abroad and got called "flaca." How much did I weigh then? At my personal peak of ADULT thinness, I probably wore size eight or six (maybe they were large sixes) and weighed 138 pounds. No one ever guessed I weighed that much.

Now, as I get older, people are often surprised at my age, too.

This is not something society of my youth would value in females, but this would be what some of us would say...

I'm older and heavier than you think.

Girl

EVEN A WOMAN OVER 35....

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie
and that I was the star of the movie
this really blew my mind
the fact that me, an overfed long-haired leaping gnome
should be the star of a Hollywood movie
Hmmm

~ Spill The Wine

http://blog.silentsorority.com/infertility-communitys-black-sheep-women-dont-achieve-motherhood/

That was awesome

Historic horse race!!! ;-)

U

Com plic ate go in gout side ur shell s om etimes

why didn't I think of it

http://www.breadcat.com/

cat bread

cattime.com

erm

bad sandwich joke

Bad, reddit, bad.

Aw

http://www.grindtv.com/wildlife/rare-white-faced-deer-rejected-by-mom-but-in-loving-hands/

Cultural / social stigma

As I have gotten older, I have become more sensitive to stigma attached to women in regards to both violence and to fertility/having "good" genetics.

I have come to feel that saying "You'll never know your destiny until you become a mother and get pregnant and give birth" is every bit as bad as telling a broken-down rape victim, "You were asking for it."

The reason why is that both of these things are connected to the body and sexuality and the judgment and indifference of others can cause enormous amounts of grief and pain in peoples' lives.

Also, in both cases, there is an attack on women as being fully human and deserving of respect and having integral worth to society.

There is a lack of support and a lack of resources for women who have experienced violence/abuse.

There is a lack of support and resources for women who struggle with infertility, especially low income women.

There is also a lack of support for mothers who are single and low income.

Blessing

Cat outside: Meow
(Open door. A young pre-teen or teenage girl is scurrying away, saying, "I'm sorry, it's just your cat's really cute.")
"Oh! She's not my cat, but she is cute."
"I just didn't want to be creepy."
"That's okay!"

Paint life

http://imgkid.com/still-life-paintings-of-glass.shtml

Tell me...

Grandma, why women in the 2000s were so curious...


Mariah & Rosie

That is strange....

"When we talk about farms and the food system, it’s a bit perplexing that the question of who is picking the tomatoes, milking the cows, and feeding the chickens isn’t a part of every single conversation."

http://grist.org/people/from-farmworker-to-farm-owner-one-mans-story-of-the-american-dream/

HOLLYWOOD

http://www.theonion.com/article/wealthy-teen-nearly-experiences-consequence-2551

TeeeeeeeeHeeeeee

http://www.theonion.com/article/delicate-little-man-kept-awake-all-night-by-having-37312 It happens.

Songs

from Americana


Pretty Girls ~ Neko Case



24th St ~ Mirah

Hmmm

Sometimes things don't just fizzle out quietly....

Water

"One and a half million Californians have toxic, fertilizer-laced water pouring from their taps—runoff from farmland that brings in $35 billion annually for the state in agriculture."

http://www.yesmagazine.org/planet/farmworkers-california-drought-susana-de-anda

Food

FRUIT
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/in-sight/wp/2015/05/18/fruits-of-wrath-laboring-in-the-shadow-of-mexicos-dramatic-land-reform/

~~~~~

BERRIES
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/05/27/the-big-question-behind-farmworker-unrest-thats-kept-blueberries-from-reaching-san-francisco/

Imagining future conversations

Hey Mom,

What was it like for Great-Grandma when....

http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/news/2015/05/26/migrants-fear-speaking-out-about-sexual-harassment-in-florida-farm-fields/


(Well that depends. Which grandmother are you asking about, dear?)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


Hey Grandma,

What was it like to live in a technologically advanced time when it was okay to be conscientious about your diet and weight, and yet willfully ignore that people who were harvesting your nutritious fruits and vegetables were toiling for low wages and battling health issues because they themselves didn't have the time or money to exercise and eat all those well-balanced meals and stuff?

Interesting question....Kind of amazing.

Evening shopping

At the store, a guy with tattoos on part of his face approached me as I was scrutinizing some salad dressing, and said, "Excuse me. I don't want to bother you, but...." and then we had a conversation about tuna.  He wanted to know my opinion on what kind was best to buy--water or oil. He thought the the canned stuff in water "looked all mushy." I said that I like to get packets. I said I might get tuna in oil, if it was in olive oil.

I have had portions of the Unrepentant Geraldines song in my head.
("If you find the vicar's wife...")

A woman in the frozen food aisle was on the phone. "I'm just going to go home. I feel really bad, like I'm dying. I've been at work since 10:30, and I just got off, and I was standing that whole time."

Then she laughed and said, "Jesus take the wheel!"

LOVE

In pursuit

www.clipartpanda.com/

old! old! old!

SO http://www.vox.com/2015/5/27/8669309/hollywood-female-actors-age OLD http://www.vulture.com/2015/05/emma-jlaw-and-scarletts-older-man-problem.html ~~~~~ So by the way, not only should you make sure your daughters get pregnant young, you should also keep your eyes peeled for suitable bachelors who are twice their age. THAT PATH TO TRUE LOVE.