Otra dia

I have been checking out way too many books from the library. One of them was What Makes You Not A Buddhist by the monk/film-maker from Bhutan. I had the day off, so after I read some it, I went to the folklife festival. Right next to a Bhutanese temple which emanated monotone chanting, some Texans were playing Cielito Lindo in a music tent. (And I think that version with Pavarotti and Enrique Iglesias is kind of a riot.)

On the way to the festival

I half-listened to some people on the radio discussing political memos & use of language & classified information. I thought, even though I have a low-paying job and I'm in too much debt, I'm glad I'm just on my way to a festival and not to that, which is probably going on a few blocks away, or something. I'd found my favorite "I am pretending I can understand French" learning tool and listened to it.
"L'une des siens"
Je suis une des lettres de l'ecriture d'une femme
un des echos de la voix d'elle, l'une des siens,
l'une des siens, l'un des siennes,
un chien, une sirene
un lien de sa ligne, une delie de ses pleins,
quelqu'un d'elle
Tamanasse an des'yeux ca
"Petite homme"
une main un vol d'oiseaux balayant le coucher
balayant le coucher coucher
balayant le coucher coucher
"A l'arene des audacieux"
et j'ai danse la maloya avec l'espoir
escape from my boredom!
"Au cabaret sauvage"
C'etaient de grands battages
a s'aiguiser les mains pour toutes les luttes
c'etait de grands battages des nerfs,
des orpheons de questions.

Dreams and categorization

A dream that I had this morning, of a girl running away at the sight of a blue pen I was holding and me saying "It's just a pen!" to her would be a scared-little-girl-running-away dream. It's very different from one that I had on Sunday. Martin Luther King was in my dream. I feel it's safe to say I've never before seen him in any of my dreams. He was a big, round, smiling soul. I said to him, "It is a great honor to shake your hand." I thought he had Jesus energy. He kind of smiled at me very quietly and nicely. Maybe he said thank you. I feel like the communication got more dreamy at this point. "It's a collective thing," he told me. "Oh, is it?" I said. He looked a bit confused, as if we weren't quite communicating, but then I kind of started to agree with him. He said, "Thank you for being willing." And another smile-smile. I almost said something to him about Thoreau, but instead I tried to tell him that my sister lived where he had lived, but he looked confused again. I could tell he was about to go. I didn't want him to go away. The dream ended strangely with me holding onto his thumb. As I was waking up, I heard a certain bird call outside my window. It seemed to be saying "Whose there, whose there..." I kind of wished I could stay in that mystical state, but shortly after I woke up I noticed I was not feeling that way anymore. It would be nice to have more of those kinds of mystical dreams. The bird songs really kind of added that element to it. I don't know if I can identify them. I also heard doves, but they were different from doves. (Who sometimes have also made me feel mystical, in certain settings.)

Yesterday was...

Sunday Morning!
I think maybe they should play that song at church services. Just in case someone in the congregation is secretly muttering "Our Mother Who Art In Heaven..." After that, they could watch The Whale Rider.

A few songs

A cote du paradis (improperly typed, sung in a language I don't quite know, even though I was able to pass a translation exam in it) is by Lo'Jo. Oh Conquering Internet, where are the videos or lyrics to L'une des siens? To Au caberet sauvage? Or Petit homme? Or Le "Poème de Japonais", which is in "Amazigh", I was told. That's harder to find on the internet.
However, Tricky is easier to find. ;-) And Tricky is cool...
Christiansands, Tricky Kid, Broken Homes, Makes Me Wanna Die

Food thoughts

This morning I lay in bed and looked at myself through little snapshots of my life. A lot of them were food-related for some reason.
1) I'm fourteen and in the back of a car that my friend's father is driving and the friend and I are giggling hysterically over the ripeness of some tomatoes in a brown paper bag that he just bought at the farmer's market. He looks at us weirdly, as though we are on some kind of substance. We are, but it doesn't really matter, because he regularly smokes up with his daughter.
2)I'm fifteen and I'm in a new, shiny rich kids public high school with almost no official friends. I don't seem to fit into any clique. Every lunch period, I buy muffins out of the vending machine and hide in a study carrel in the library, where I eat them carefully, trying not to make too much noise with the cellophane wrapper, and I look at art books.
3)I'm sixteen and two guys I met through a new friend at school are coming over to my parent's house. I just got out of a yoga class. When they arrive, they tell me that Kurt Cobain just died. Even though in Seattle, all I ever did was listen to "old" music from the 60s and 70s, I have been just been listening to In Utero. My heart is broke / but I have some glue / help me inhale / and mend it with you / we'll float around / and hang out on clouds / then we'll come down / and have a hangover. They take off their baseball caps and eat hamburgers at the dining room table and talk about how we can't believe he just died.
4) I'm twenty and I'm in a cafe called Dulce Espera in the rainforest and my boyfriend is snapping his fingers and calling out "Amigo" to the waiters.
5) I'm twenty, in a restaurant in the Andes mountains. After I thoughtlessly seat myself in a chair directly across from the one that my boyfriend has pulled out for me to sit down in, he scowls at me and says "The American boys are not very nice to the American girls."
6) I'm twenty-nine and I'm on a "date" and the date feeds me food from a fork and I go along with it. Later I will tell my friends about how awkward it felt to go along with it. By the end of it, I'm saying "I'm not really into dating right now" and he says "you're really hard to read." A few weeks later he text messages me after he gets back from Europe and I type "I hope you had a nice trip." Twenty minutes later: "It was great! When can I see you again?" I stare at the message and decide not to write anything back and feel like I'm kind of being a jerk.
7) I'm twenty nine and I've been lying on the linoleum floor on top of my jacket in a hospital emergency room for the past hour. The morning breakfast cart rolls around and the guy wheeling looks in the room and I try to read the expression on his face. I decide that he can see suffering and stress, but then again, he probably sees it all the time.
8) I'm twenty and I'm trying a bite of one of the non-vegetarian and delicious "papa rellenas" which a woman has come aboard a bus to sell to us.
9) Yesterday I tried "Synergy," which is "Kombucha" which is either really revitalizing and delicious or just a little weird and vinegary. It comes in a very cheerful bottle with rainbows on the wrapper. It kind of reminds me of either umbrella-shaped rainbow popsicles or riding in the back of a station wagon with kids. Which reminds me of walking on the playground of a campground at age six, singing Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This.

To keep or donate?

Books I like, but I wonder if I need to own them?
All My Patients Are Under The Bed
Walking A Sacred Path

After this I'll read the Wireless Adapter manual and contemplete becoming a technical writer

If I habitually read/write and this post is a room, and it has this one certain quote from a book about Thoreau and Emerson, which I just can't find because I still haven't unpacked all my boxes from moving yet...
then there is just so much cool in this room.
If I hear snippets of conversation that go sort of like this...
support vegans and eaters of squid and guinea pigs
be compassionate and understanding of alcoholism, self mutiliation, PTSD, thieves, spies, computer hackers, people who have what it takes to complete their oeuvre and support liking what you like
and 12-step-programs for those who may wedge nails into tires (and then feel sorry they did it afterwards--empathy empathy empathy!)
"Finally I said, Mami, and they both looked back, already knowing what was happening."
"the hamster knows it was good because it cannot easily remember / whose idea it was"
there is just so much cool in this room
"As Shibbudada settled down in our drawing room, I would look nervously through a window and see what I knew I would see, Taiji advancing alond Number 7's red gravel driveway. My stomach would knot up in a state of highest anxiety. I could barely get the tea down my throat." Page 123 Climbing the Mango Trees
there is so much cool in this room
"He gaped at himself a moment, through her eyes and through the eyes of each family he'd plodded past. What a crushing feeling it was." Page 36 Heaven Lake
there is so much cool in this room

Finished recently

Climbing the Mango Trees by Madhur Jeffrey
Heaven Lake by John Dalton
I think that book could make a very interesting movie.

Recovery

Dear body--way to catch the worst cold/bronchial ailment right in the middle of a heatwave, just after you've moved into a dusty basement apartment, so that indoors feels like a 19th century drama, and out of doors feels like a horrible tropical fever. I ended up taking some green and lavender capsules of antibiotic in addition to using flower essences. I was a little disappointed that I couldn't just cure it with essences (at least, not very fast). But after I found out that a girl I work with is on her second round of antibiotics and might have pneumonia, I thought, maybe they helped after all. And I was even able to deal with a rowdy night at work yesterday. At one point, I was checking I.D.s since the bouncer had to deal with a recalcitrant patron (are you whipper-snappers born in 1987 really old enough to drink now?) Then the guy came up front and started yelling either at me or his girlfriend (actually I think it was her). The bouncer came back and my boss waved me inside. As the tempers outside escalated, I was surprised to feel, for a brief moment, a few tears coming to my eyes. Cute in a song or story can be less cute in real life, although sometimes these things do make you live in the moment, for better or worse, and naturally there is always a crowd who will enjoy the show. Much of the time I can be entertained easily. However, these kinds of books are really the only thing I can bear to look at when I'm really sick. Anyways, I now have a newfound appreciation of the human respiratory system.

Various sides of moi today

Coughing, hacking and consuming (a bit belatedly) Air Armor (Trader Joe's knockoff of Airbourne). Not letting my annoyance about my health insurance take over my brain. Reading various lit/blogger types of things, like this from May 29. Imagining working pithy commentary into stories about the muses of a master of ornate ceramic toilet bowl handles, followed by thoughts tinged with either compassion (the more noble emotion) or pity (which is less noble, but more likely after an indulgence in sarcasm). Enjoying looking at library books on the culinary arts of India and the history of Latin and, perversely, enjoying being sick because of being able to look at those. Thinking, is it possible I went to school to study something that is maybe only about 20% of my personality? Women dervishes (another video I checked out in Illinois.) Perelandra flower essences. E-mailing friend about a book fair...what is this addiction? Recently, I decided I need to get rid of about three quarters of my books. Libraries exist for a reason.

Art-O-Matic

Jesus at Artomatic and Finding Christ Through Cookies.

Tunes!

Mrs. Robinson
America
Sound of Silence
American Tune
El Condor Pasa

God is their co-pilot

Jesus is Lord in New Zealand. I can definitely understand this kind of religious experience. One time, when I was coming back from a road trip to Texas, it began to rain really hard. Then one of those big ol' clouds started bearing down on the vast, flat stretch of Illinois landscape. The combination of Little House (the books, not the TV show) cyclone imagery and my grandmother's indoctrination from my childhood suddenly overwhelmed me, and I found myself calling out to Jesus. In my case, the Lord guided me safely toward an exit ramp and deposited me at a Denny's restaurant, where I ate an omelette and hashbrowns with tabasco sauce and ketchup.
I believe it was near Bloomington.

Now, watch a really good dance teacher

having a funny kind of conversation with a horn player!
Her CD of Greek, Bulgarian, Rom dances is the one that is most often played in my car these days.

Other films & such

The Full Monty (by myself in the Egyptian Theatre, the first Friday after I'd moved to Seattle) and Shopping For Fangs (alone at the Asian American film festival, where some older guy tried to get me to go out for coffee with him, and told me that he'd read The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith during his childhood in Australia.) I think I also saw Deconstructing Harry and I know I saw Kundun with friend(s?) Memory fades a bit. Speaking of film and video, I enjoy watching Gwen Stefani these days. Ever since one of my writing friends told us to watch Wind It Up.
I think she is actually kind of a storyteller. (Like that Mormon kid on American Idol.) Hey Baby, Don't Speak, Ex-Girlfriend, Simple Kind of Life, What You Waiting For. Hmmm, sucked into storytellingness.

Because...oh, why not?

Erendira. Aqui Aca Aqui Aca.
Sexy Calvin Klein Ad.
Stolen Car

What makes life more fun?

Random spontaneous moments of creative energy, with elements of light-heartedness and singing. Yet, why do we still become enmeshed in other kinds of feelings? Maybe because they don't feel so dense at first. But are they really satisfactory? I got this sort of feeling after a brief stint of TV watching last night, 'cause me and the people I watched American Idol with thought that Paula Abdul just came off as being kinda jealous of Syesha.

A few old diversions (Seattle)

for an old friend who checks this every once in a while ;-)
Peliculas: Erendira, Men With Guns, Wings of the Dove, El Mariachi, Ma Vie En Rose, Henry and June. Canciones: Mexican Moon by Concrete Blonde, Spill the Wine by War, and Naked Eye by Luscious Jackson. And also, a picture of The Sound Garden.

So feel good

Jesus is just alright with me, man! Men. Amen.

Literature evokes...spirituality? dogma? humor?

Seems like it would be cool to find and read more literature which is infused with insights about spiritual pursuits :-) Although, my preference is, it would hopefully never echo any of the apocalyptic egocentricity of the ever popular Left Behind books or Frank Peretti. Unless, perhaps, it was being humorous?

1234

Note to subconcious self: from now on, all the tires on your car are going to stay perfect and intact. 4 tire blowouts is the limit. (2 in the past 2 weeks). And, the debt on that card you are going to hand over once again to pay for yet another new tire is going to begin to decline steadily and rapidly. So, get ready. This is the new life, and is "the first day of the rest of your life."

A good novel about spices

The last novel I read was The Mistress of Spices. I pulled it out of a bag of books after I had to take my car in for some work. Finished reading it behind a library on another day (waiting for more work to be done on the car) while lying on the grass and occasionally tasting some wood sorrel (but not too much, because of the oxalic acid.) Looked at the various plants in the brush behind me and wondered if some big leafy shoots would be edible or poisonous (like rhubarb leaves.) I wonder how the movie turned out? Well, of course it looks like Hollywood took out the "older woman" part. Ah, yes, a young, attractive actress, embodiment of youthful attractiveness...

A few other wild edibles

Black locust flowers
Plantain
Wood sorrel
Honeysuckle blossoms

Weekend Socializing

That alternative to staying in and crying into the laundry basket. (Ha ha.) Go to a bowling alley, but don't bowl. Instead, step outside and make phone calls. Attempt to enter, and get kicked out of, a mysterious cafe. "If you are looking for a bar or karaoke than this place is not the place for you!" (So, then what is going on in those rooms?) Attend a porch party and observe the hostess swinging around the post, shaking some kind of maraca-ish type instrument and calling out to people on the street to come on over and have a beer. Feel slightly embarrassed because the most hip-hop looking guy invited off the street is looking rather dubiously at the guitar player who is now singing about being born in a sharecropper's shack. Nod as the girl across the porch remarks "I think we were a little uncool for them" after he and his friends depart. Sing along to various tunes, such as Cecilia, Folsom Prison Blues, Pinball Wizard, and an original love ballad, with a continuous refrain: "Manic Maybe." Beat on a turtle shell, try a few guitar chords. Watch people blow fireballs with Everclear. Lie on a big couch and admire a real velvet Elvis painting. Go out, and continue the wild edible plant hunt.

d`a`n`c`e`m`u`s`i`c

Oh, entertainment. (Of the music video variety.) In a certain mood, could I enjoy watching something quite cynical, like Henry Rollins "Liar"? Perhaps. Could it also give me a stomachache? Mmmhmm. This is a snippet from something I watched a while back: Kathak dance from Satyajit Ray's "Chess Players". Then I found other videos, such as Radha Kathak Tarana, Kathak in Varanasi and a Kathak dance class in Calcutta.

Which is funnier

Rockin' The Suburbs or Popular

Caaaaaaats

Miao

Edibles

I have made a date with a friend, who has been busy traveling and doing some Earth Day stuff, to go hunting for some edible greens next weekend. How exciting. :-) Lambsquarters (with cat), Purslane, and Chickweed (with some kind of critter.)

Strange days

Today I found myself watching the new Harold and Kumar movie with some people, including a friend of mine who said "I felt the need to watch it because of the political content." Kind of silly ;-) Here is a link to her article about effective communication at an IMF protest. Also, an interesting quote from a speech I attended around Earth Day: "Pollution should really be considered a silent form of violence." --Ralph Nader

++++++++

Useful to consider: after achieving success (in art, business, etcetra) regardless of who you are or where you're from, if you get a signal from the universe that it might be a good idea, then don't forget to work hard on the part about not-making-people-feel-just-used-by-you. Terrific, beautiful idea. It may be that there's an absolutely incredible amount of room for growth in that arena. And if so, then why not embrace that challenge. Also: internal journeying as well as external journeying can be of great benefit, yes?

Jessica of the 80s

Jessica and I became friends because all the other girls were mean to her on the bus and made her cry. Girls On Film I was a first grader; they were all third graders. We lived in the same, newly-built apartment complex, where life could be very dull. Jack and Diane Sometimes, the highlight of a long day was to find some construction worker's old beer bottle, fill it with pebbles and water, and smash it. Save A Prayer She was the most deviant girl I'd ever met. I remember her shoving me in front of a construction worker when she was caught almost sneaking into a building. He briefly looked me over and then turned angrily towards her. Maybe he could see a little would-be thief. (Jessica had a habit of breaking into and taking money out of people's cars.) Electric Barberella Jessica had two scary uncles who always had giggling, skinny blond girlfriends. I saw one of her uncles beat her in the street as a punishment for almost running across the road when a car was coming. She told me that once, he had jumped through a glass window. Is There Something I Should Know In the apartment she shared with her mother and uncles, Jessica kissed posters of her "boyfriends" Mickey (Micheal Jackson and Duran Duran) while twisting her body into memorable little snake dance. Union of the Snake But perhaps the most memorable incident involved the time she made me jump off a balcony. When I tried to leave, she actually blocked the way to the staircase. All She Wants Is I must jump, as soon as I went, she would follow me, she promised. Finally, I closed my eyes and gave myself a push...The Reflex and then my butt was on the beautiful grassy ground, my head was swimming, and she was running toward me, saying "Are you okay? I can't believe you really did it!" She helped me off the ground and I followed her back up the stairs. There, I watched my friend, the bully, swing her legs over the edge of the balcony. I Don't Want Your Love She looked down, then at me, and said, "I'm scared. Can you show me how to do it again?" Come Undone

Recent works that were put into my hands

A free copy of Born Into Brothels, by my landlord, who has to evict me and the one remaining roommate (he actually doesn't own the house and his mother is going to move a family in--see if they like those rooftop squirrels!!) and The Queen's Fool because my friend wants me to read it. She called today and left a message asking how I was doing with the book. I called back and left a message saying that after I read a part about Lady Jane Grey being scholarly, I decided to use my free day at a good library.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also, some kite-flying pictures. ('Cause I was struck by Manik's love of kite-flying in Born and b/c Gasworks Park is a very cool place to fly a kite.)

food/mood/humor

One of my friends sent me Snoopy's Guide to the Writing Life last fall. Picked it up again today. Went out, did some stuff, came back, ate a few too many "seedy little currant cookies" and looked at it again. It's kind of funny, I thought. However, it can also be very funny. (I had thought, earlier.)

~~~~~~~

I was thinking. I really like Maria by Blondie.
I bet Dante would like that song.
I think it could be a song for anyone.
(Thats a girl with a southern accent.)

Lambsquarters

I kind of want to try lambsquarters.
They are supposed to be quite nutritious. However, I am scared to pick something that will poison me, which is why I will probably never pick wild mushrooms to eat. I have some friends who know how to identify all those plants; they used to do it for a living in Washington State, and now, how lucky, they are in Northern Virginia. I shall have to ask them to take me on an edible foods nature walk.

Ideas processing

Argumentatively, with slightly cynical undertones, and liberal use of the word "I." As this moment is occurring...I must say I don't think I feel very supportive...frankly, if it has anything to do with anything, I also really don't feel very sorry for you...I'm sure you are a very nice and sensitive person sometimes...however...also at times think you're kind of not...and by the way, why don't you get off the depresso track...*yawn*...sorry if that sounds sort of mean...do you really want future generations to find your work more boring than need be...well, afterall, you are the accomplished one in the field...absolutely unnecessary to put up the display of a humble response...just a few questions to possibly ask oneself...in a light way...

Processing ideas idea

Two people (or more) stare at a picture and form different interpretations of it which quasi-simultaneously interlap and overfeed; i.e., one person's ideas are influenced by and influencing the other's, but this occurs without any actual verbal exchange.

Spiritual practice(s)

Here is a clip about something called Dzogchen. In posting it, I'm reminding myself that besides being interested in things like films, music, art and literature, I'm also interested in the forms of spiritual practices that can be found on this planet. From many different backgrounds. Also, after I read my friend's grandfather's obituary and found out that he was known for his great love of nature, I want to remind myself to cultivate that more in my life, too. More Wildflowers. More Wildflowers again! Life is short.

mewsic (& other...)

So, Bob Dylan won a prize! Hmmm. Cool. Thats another artist whose music used to come through my wall in that apartment next to a bar in upstate NY. The one that I used to actually wait for the patrons to play was Color My World, though...Anyway, I digress...Over the fall, I went and saw the I He I'm Her Not Here (didn't the words do something like that in the very beginning of I'm Not There?) movie--which was actually released on my birthday, I found out later. One of the things I thought was, "Wow, I never really listened to the lyrics of Like A Rolling Stone before," and another thing I thought was, "there are a lot of songs in this movie I'm not that familiar with!" But I guessed that some of my old friends whose parents were more into his music would already know most of them. I have a Vashon Island memory of pulling giant horsetail weeds out of a hillside I used to live on (my friend and I were weeding it for my mother's ex-boyfriend) and listening to the Beatles and Bob Dylan blaring out of the open windows of the living room. Later, he informed us that we'd blown out the speakers. Thus, I learned that electronic equipment could be delicate.

What is a "mania?"

At this moment, my answer is: its when life gets really, really bright, like a super potent juice pureed with all sorts of berries and fruits, and then many things on the planet start looking really extraordinarily fascinating and you want to learn about them in a big gulp, and they all whoosh through your head very very very fast, yes, but then...you take a breath...
(I wish it were so simple for all people to Simmer Down.)

Burdock

Personal encounters with burdock: As a child, I put the burrs in my hair a la Ramona Quimby. Well, sort of. I think Ramona made an elaborate crown out of her burrs; I'm not sure if I got that far along with it. I probably got the girl next door to put some into her hair, too. I have also eaten the root in a sushi roll.

Sigh

Sigh sigh sigh SIGH sigh sigh SIGH sigh sigh SIGH sigh sigh.
I wonder how one would replicate sigh in other languages. Huh.

Wildflowers

The other day, I was flipping backwards through Wildflowers of the Blue Ridge and Great Smoky Mountains and I was rather struck by the similarities and differences in shape between Smooth Solomon's Seal and Bladder Campion. Just one of those things...

"Arianna"

Heard it long ago in a bookstore I worked in, listened to it recently in the car, found this version.

(not) writing

Sometimes I have a writing group with some of my friends from school, over the phone. We have used some exercises from the internet and also ones from school or ones we've found or made up. We were going to have it again this weekend until one of my friends was affected by a tragedy.
So swift, sudden, and sad.

*****

Well, went away from internet for a while, came back, and got a little bit shocked in several different arenas. Then I got a call from a friend. Mr. J.P. tells me that Mr. Oh is going nuts with random marriage proposals to strange women and raving about the end of the world. And I, for some reason, simply must come out and help this situation. Me: "Are you lying?" J.P.: "Do I lie?" Me: "Well, you've been known to stretch the truth." J.P.: "Do any of us really know the truth?" Well, I guess I will make a trek out.
Sidenote: Spring is here. Flowers are very important. None of us would be here without flowers.

Recent memoir read

A View of the Ocean by Jan de Hartog.

Old Songs

These songs are like being a kid in the back of a car my Dad was driving around in part of upstate NY near West Point. Caribou, I mean, Carribean Queen by Billy Ocean, and I Ran by Flock of Seagulls. Little did I know that soon I'd be tossing french fries in the air for the seagulls on the West Coast at Ivar's. (Good grief, those birds sound squawky.) And I didn't know that soon I'd be seeing what my sister would call "Mountain Reindeer" all the time. (Well, on clearer days.) Or do what seemed bizarre in summertime--walk on the mountain, through snow, wearing sunblock and shorts. Or tag along on shopping trips to REI. Or lose a jelly shoe in the stony bottomed river running through the Hoh Rainforest. Or do all the cool stuff at the Pacific Science Center. This song is off the record my mom's boyfriend gave to us, maybe for Christmas, before we went to Seattle: Abiyoyo. Also, he gave me Johnathan Livingston Seagull to read sometime in the winter, before we left. Besides reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and some book by Shel Silverstein, I remember listening or singing along to One Grain of Sand and I thought it very beautiful, in the off-and-on flooded basement in the old woman's house in Renton. The song has been made into a book.

Happier

Got reacquainted with the movie Orlando (that was a favorite movie when it first came out) and watched it with two friends. Now, I should try reading the actual book. Interesting: Calendar House Knole

The other day

Found out what happened to Amalia. Then, briefly looked at a novel about Chinese prostitution in San Francisco. Went home, ate yogurt, and somehow cut two of my fingers without noticing (maybe it was the metal peel-off lid). Bandaged them. Went back and looked at A Writer's Reality, which is by the author of "Amalia." I liked some of it but I wasn't so crazy about parts about striptease and also some accounts of a brothel. I felt rather disturbed; as if some people just relate to things in a rather cold, intellectual way, and I let myself be bothered by that. I was thinking, I can't let that bother me so much. As I was washing my hands in the bathroom, someone opened a door that said "Out of Order." She said "Did you see this?" and I didn't want to go over because I could make out some stains on the walls but she pointed with her yardstick expectantly. Red smudges and lines (in rather neat, stacked rows, reminiscent of I-Ching symbols) were all over the stall. "Oh my god," she kept saying. On my way out, there was a notice on the bulletin board that leapt out at me, about helping children. I could feel the cynical how do they know if they're really helping them thoughts I didn't want to feel, and I tried to look at an art brochure, but people were talking about a "crazy lady" and loudly (over the whir of a cleaning machine) "she killed herself!" I thought, "no, she didn't, she just tried to but she got some help..." Then the yardstick wielder sang out, "we're closing now!" So then I left again. Eesh.

A Good Girl

Also a little while back, I noted that Ruchira Gupta struck me as happy and admirable and at peace with herself in Holly Morris's series. Which directed me to watch another work by a conscientious twosome or actually, a groupsome. Schaumburg, Illinois public library, I miss thee!!!

Literary Confusion

A while back I read a short story from Spanish Short Stories 2 called "Amalia." If I remember it correctly...well...I wondered, what the author thought might have happened to the title character of the story in the collection, after what occurred. I thought, how did he envision Amalia's future? A sojourn in a mental hospital? Pills, stitches down her wrists? Maybe she got very lucky and met some nice curandera, who taught her how to distinguish between "survivor" and "victim?" Or, perhaps she could have found some nuns and developed a very special relationship with Mary and Jesus. And it's very strange, because, it's supposed to be a chapter from this book but I was trying to find more about it online (I don't have the book in front of me now) but...I've been searching...it's nothing like that. Its been a while...I'm just so very confused with the author of The Bad Girl.

Have I ever seen dandelion dew

waterwaterwaterwaterwaterwaterwater

Yesterday

Went for a walk and watched Water by Deepa Mehta, with a friend.

Recreational Choices

Ways to feed your head tomorrow.
Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine at Politics and Prose in DC
Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland in Middleburg
Ted Garber entertains lovers of discounted beer in NOVA
Big Green Purse at Borders/Bailey's Crossroads in NOVA

Medicine

Medicine should do the work of medicine. Drugs and pills should exist to alleviate suffering and not be used in ways that could make one think that accidentally burning one's foot with a hot poker, for example, would, by comparison, be a joyous experience. (But...what about firewalking?)

Text message

Fr: Enrique
Enjoy the eclipse.
It will a long while till the next one.
Look up.
~~~~~~~~
(Me: So, that's why the moon was looking so interesting and pink, earlier.)

Air

Universal Traveller
Run
Alone in Kyoto

thoughts

respiratory system, no smoking bans in bars/restaurants in other states, virginia tobacco farming

More good times

In the eat-to-be-healthier mindframe today, I tried some No Chicken Soup, which I liked better than actual chicken soup, and some of this Echinacea liquid bottle stuff. Kids like them when they're sick; so do I.

Good times

Reading quotes from a research project sample site. Poor old T & E!

recent reads

Reading...
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver,
and those lyrics to the song that continuously plays on the website for the documentary I'd like to see. Kind of an interesting song to put on the backdrop of a film. It reminds me of how I felt, a long time ago, when I just got back from Peru, and I was just back in the States, and yes, I liked the comfy airport seats, and such, but after I got home I opened a magazine and saw a picture of a model wearing a zillion dollar dress.

Hmmm.

Apparently, this page about bicycling, the Netherlands, Vermeer, the Victorian era, a low glycemic index diet, and the burqa, also has something to do with Thoreau and Emerson.

Nuevisma calm

To remember: Be happy if you can be the eye. In a hurricane, that is. When the hurricane passes over, be happy for what is still left standing. If you can't make the world's problems, or sick people, as well as you want to, right this instant, see an opportunity to practice cultivating love & compassion, and if/when needed, compassionate detachment. Breathe. How? Maybe a deep breath, or a shallow one but with a slow out breath. Be thankful for those times when you come into contact with teachers you know are more powerful or advanced in some way than you are, and be compassionate when you see suffering, even if that suffering causes you some kind of stress. And if you didn't always act as compassionately as you could have, don't dwell on it in a harsh way, but do try to remember for next time. Embrace opportunities to open, expand, heal. Pay attention to how you breathe.

flickr & sound mixing & flickr again

Leaves
leavesleavesleavesleaves
Concertina
Original
Remix
Flowers
herehereherehere
Random Coincidence
I clicked on the featured photo because for some reason it sort of reminded me of the Metro, which I rode this morning to ye olde job interview. (Note to self: find any way possible to avoid inevitable queasy feeling on early morning Metro rides and try not to envy those who apparently can read, ride backwards, etcetra.) Then, while browsing through photographs of lotus flowers, found these by the same photographer.
And, ye olde picture of a melon.

Something like minutes

Hey guys, I was going to play Eye of the Tiger on my computer and look over my goals but my key card doesn't work so I'm locked out and I decided to call in. Sorry, am I interrupting anybody? No, thats okay. Well one of the things I have to do is take Nena out more. Nena? How do you spell that. N-E-E-N-A-H. Oh, Neenah. She needs to be more socialized. She's supposed to exercise 45 minutes to an hour each day. Wow. Why don't you take her to that one place? Well, pitbulls don't do well in dog parks, but she's the sweetest pitbull you could ever meet. She's a pitbull? Have you ever thought about changing the spelling of her name to K-N-E-E-G-N-A-W. What? How dare you desecrate an Indian name. Ha ha. So blah blah blah punctuality fitness mindfulness healthy holistic dog food with no by products etcetra. Say something before you sign off. These are J.P.'s goals brought to you by H.'s phone. If you're on the go, get Oh! I'm making a note of it. Hey, I remember that time when he finally showed up at a restaurant clutching a gigantic bag of change. "Sorry, I couldn't find a Coinstar."

Book covers!

There's this site that reviews books (in a kooky, fun way) and scans all sorts of book covers that I remember. Such as: Island of the Blue Dolphins, Jacob Have I Loved, Then Again, Maybe I Won't, My Darling, My Hamburger, and Little House In the Big Woods!!!!
(Well, I suppose that last one's not too rare of a book cover.)

Storytellers & The Healing Lodge

Just thought of a book that my mother bought me when I was 13 or so, and I read to the point of ruination (I read it in the shower) without understanding why. I felt compelled to reread it a while back. It was Tree By Leaf by Cynthia Voigt. NY Times Review of the book. Also, I've liked every film I've ever seen by this guy so I am interested in this documentary: Words of My Perfect Teacher. Also found out about this: The Healing Lodge.

Bicycles, bicycles...

Just imagine if these were all cars filling a parking garage.
Bicycles near Amsterdam's Centraal Station
I guess thats how they work off their french fries served with mayonnaise and Indonesian peanut sauce!
("Mayonnaise" is a word which is surprisingly difficult to remember how to spell.)

detalles, detalles

If only every phone call were filled with mostly good and joyful ones...

canseeohnays babble

A few: Plainfield Blues by Rev. Peyton et al, Brave New Baby by the now-retired Mary Prankster, Strange Lover and All My Tears by Julie Miller, and older songs: Dreams, Rhiannon, Edge of Seventeen.
The '80s and Stevie Nicks:
Some songs remind me of a Missy I knew. Famous for her red hair. Boys stole street signs for her. She smoked heavily, and used paper towels to show us how brown her breath was. "Don't you kids ever start!" Candidly discussed her boyfriends and passion for Van Halen while introducing us to eyeliner and eyelash curlers. Defiantly turned the stereo up as loud as possible; she declared that she wasn't afraid of neighbors calling the cops. She tested me, too--could I truly sing all the lyrics to Edge of Seventeen? When I could, she acted like I was the smartest child she'd ever encountered. Aside from her, several times, when I was perhaps eight or ten, I remember an older girl taking me aside and confiding in me about her problems and telling me I was very "mature for my age." I don't remember such exact details of the conversations, only that I enjoyed them. But then, there was also the tremendous and responsible Maria (pronounced MAHrea), who played games with me, laughed through her nose like she was going to sneeze, and lived in a big house with a swimming pool. Which was very fortunate for me, because, thanks to the Watervliet Arsenal swimming pool lessons--which included witnessing a simulated drowning that I was too young to understand was only simulated, and my father tossing me in the water unexpectedly (I recall myself sinking in a daze of bubbles and pale blueness, and thinking, wow, I'm going to die now...until he came in and dragged me out)--I wasn't the least bit interested in learning how to swim. But at Maria's parents' house, they let me hang out in the shallow end, and probably taught me some basics, until one day, she and her sisters convinced me to go under the ropes and touch the ladder in the deep end. And so I learned to swim. And later on I had a lot of fun, with my father and with my friends, at the arsenal swimming pool, too.

Boo slash yay

Boo for losing the cell phone today; I hope I find it. Maybe it's in the library bookdrop. Yay for last night when I met with AKOI. (Yes, there is meditation and now AKOI.) AKOI (which stood for Ass Kickers of Infinity-I can't remember who coined it, but I was not geek chic enough to come up with that name!) was a group of friends that got together when we were in our early 20s to discuss life goals. But then a bunch of us went off and did other things for a while. Now that pretty much everyone is back in this area again for some reason, we decided to reconvene. There is more to discuss and that's fun. We also get off track a lot but I like that! Actually, now I have a kind of fun side project to participate in b/c of one of the "off track" conversations. Yay for cold weather and stars in the sky when I'm driving home. But I hope I find the cell phone. Later-I also hope that the ability to watch DVDs will be restored to my computer! Hello, technology. I guess it's time for me to either take a break or pay up.

Cositas

I've decided to dedicate a portion of time to helping people with illnesses, a portion to writing, and a portion to having fun. Also, learn more about HMR. Also, learn more about interior design. (I noticed a bunch of different kinds of light fixtures today, due to a conversation with an interior design student.)

So snow....it's melted now

I was thinking: "tomorrow you will get to go to meditation class." This area has a special reaction to snow, but anyway, just because the building is dark and the parking lot is deserted, it doesn't mean everything is canceled! Right. Scraped more snow off the car and got slush in my shoes. Thats okay, just wait it out! Soon the other cars will show up. Then, a loud crash on the roof. Maybe a tree branch, or ice. Move the car to a different parking spot. Okay, why not get out and check and see if theres a sign saying whether or not the class is cancelled? Stepped into a bigger puddle, hesitated, and then also noticed my two gloves floating in it. Alright, that's it.

Up, up, up.

"I just wrap it up in a little package and let it just float up."
Vegetable Orchestra Live

And once again

ANOTHER TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

Trois Couleurs

Blue
Blue finale
White
White ending
Red
Red
Red
Red

Billboard recently seen

What made Gandhi Gandhi?
Soul. Pass it on.

Elderberry wine

is incredibly good. After work last night I met up with some friends, including a few identical twins (there are four girls in the family--2 sets of identical twins--how often does that happen?) One arrived with a voice hoarse from attending a protest in DC. Her sister's husband supplied wine made from berries picked on the W & OD Trail. Four of us sipped it and watched Legend: The Director's Cut in a small apartment. We all fell asleep shortly after "the quintessential elderberry wine scene." After I woke up and accidentally got myself lost (which was sort of fun--only in the wee hours of the morning can Northern VA even look like it has "backroads") I listened to some poets reading on "apostrophe cast" until I noticed the sun was coming up and went to bed. Also, I looked at some pictures of these.

More colorful art

Mandalas!

Musing (not too deeply) on musical influence

I somehow managed to stumble across this story shortly after I attended a friend's Christmas party, and I decided to dredge deep back into "Important Musical Influences of Childhood." Don't Wait On Me,Elvira,He's A Tramp, and (even though I didn't watch it in German) the We Are Siamese song (German version). This one was loved: You're So Vain. However, Margaritaville was reviled (some guy down the hall apparently played it way too many times in Korea.) Everyone seemed to like to sing Wraggle Taggle Gypsies and Jingle Jangle Jingle in music class at an elementary school in Washington state. Take On Me was cool, especially when I first watched it on TV when I was about seven or eight and living in New York. I also feel like Pachelbel's Canon in D made an impression on me and was on television--maybe in a light bulb or lighting commercial.

Colorful/Peaceful

I think I will post something peaceful yet colorful at the same time. I saw her once: jai jai Mata Amma I do think its a bit difficult to always be like that...

Dactyls

My new calendar says that today is dedicated to "legendary Greek women who invented metal craft." However, when I tried to look them up, this is what I just found! Kind of confusing.

Songs heard in the public sphere

The songs heard in the public sphere are often by boys...
Satellite
Amsterdam
Tired of Being Sorry
FF7 Tired of Being Sorry AMV

Cool places

Just for fun, I thought I'd post some links to a place that I thought was really fun & cool when I was about eight years old or something like that.
Howe Caverns
Howe Caverns 29
Howe Caverns 33
Secret Caverns sign
Waterfall in Secret Cave
Ice Cave Sign
And someday, maybe I'll go back there, or have another cool experience elsewhere.
Secret Cavern
Ice Cave in Glacier Gray
The Ice Cave's Mouth
Snow cave and creek
Top of the world
Ferry and island at sunset
Purest of Waters
Wolf Point Sunset
Sunset from Echo Cove
Flickr is fun.

New Year's Resolution

Make better use of your gifts. Everything is a gift. Those credit card bills: gifts. The student loan bills: gifts. Dental or vision? Gifts. The interest-free loan from Grandpa for the car and the Christmas check from Grandma: a gift! And, finally--the sound of those squirrels clawing their way around on the roof, chewing through wood, waking me up multiple times in the night, many nights, finally worth a hundred bucks off next months rent, harkening me back to a time when I lived elsewhere and listened to rats running around on the roof of a shack--priceless. I can hear them now. Gifts.

Water Crystals

Water Crystals Clip

2 random viewings

Admittedly, quite a long clip.
"Wisewoman tradition"
But also, kind of lively and interesting!
Is it pseudoscience...Is there something there?
Also Ladies Against Feminism(?) website. (I must say, I don't get it. If they are against feminism, why would they even make a website?)

Kind of p-r-e-t-t-y music

Half Gifts by Cocteau Twins
Maybe a little excessively depressive seeming at the end...

zen of song & video watching

So I was watching some song/videos.
Kinda "angry" song.
Kinda "sweet" song.
Kinda "sad" song.
Order is bound to shuffle around from time to time.
So now I am inspired! To watch:
The Zen Mind

Bicycle Tree

Found a picture of the
Bicycle tree and other assorted photos!
Estuary with old boat
A salmon berry photo
A ferry docking photo
Autumn floats
"The soul has this shape"
Interesting photo. We shared a house with that guy for a while.
Vashon fence
Trees & clouds
Old pier & rope swing
Famously corny sign
Heron at sunset
Clam and sound
Thanks, flickr.

Tourism & class

In scenes from some movies! Especially adored these two when I first saw them in highschool...
A Room With A View
Intro/?
Without a Baedeker
"Where are the good men"
Letter at the piano
Howards End
Trailer to the film.
The misplaced umbrella

Interesting article

From Muhammed Ali to Grandma Rose by Polly Shulman

Agave nectar

The sweeter alternative to sugar.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agave_syrup

Women & reading

Art!
Garden Parasol and Woman Seated in a Garden by Frederick Carl Frieseke, The New Novel by Winslow Homer and ?? by ??, The Reader by Albert Joseph Moore, Rembrandt's Mother as the Biblical Prophetess Hannah and Serendipities - The gender of reading(3)
Also interesting, though a non-reading subject: Interior with a woman seated by a hearth by Jacobus Vrel.

Song about musing

Caribbean Blue by Enya

It has poems, it has pictures, it has illustrations

I'm re-reading an old book I must've first read when I was maybe ten.
My Searching Heart by Crying Wind.

How do you suppose

a sand artist decides what to draw?
Sand Art - Yahav
Sand Art - Cako
Colorful Sand Art - Yahav
Sand Art - Yahav again

sobre 1 noviembre

Well, according to my calender, its a half moon at 5:19 EDT.
Old Farmer's Almanac Moon Phase Calendar
Also, the calender on my wall says:
Day of the Dead (Mexico)
All Saints Day (Christian)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today I decided to watch:
La Soledad by Pink Martini.
And some videos accompanied by Weezer songs.
Say It Ain't So (At a reading festival? Oh nevermind, thats a place called Reading in the UK.)
Across the Sea in American Sign Language.
Tired of Sex karaoke.
Undone--The Sweater Song
Island in the Sun