I'm pretty sure that I was really into reading spiritual stuff at an early age, way before most people and I had no idea that all of these weird things were going to happen that were going to completely mess around with my sense of equanimity, like as if I'm some sort of wounded wild creature that can be poked and disturbed easily after having escaped a traumatizing environment. I think that there were a lot of times in my childhood when I didn't seem especially traumatized and it's because I didn't know what was happening. Finding out what was happening later completely messed up my inner child. But anyways, the middle of life can be a good time to integrate and begin new things.
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