Sunday, June 27, 2010

K

(K as in short for okay.) Okay now I am a good person. WHY am I a good person? I am a good person because I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY ALL MY BILLS THIS MONTH!
(That means the minimums. The minimums? Oh, especially good!)
Still. I have to take the good feelings where ever they come. Maybe when I move I will get better at prosperity.
:-D :-D :-D
I wonder what to do about some things. Like, I had a dream a while ago about FB friend. Actually I was trying to convince this dude to publish his stuff. The dude was too busy macking on some chick, who wouldn't listen to me unless the dude listened. I tried and tried and finally threw sand at him. (Then I felt weird several days later, when I saw some guy on TV who owns a record company and his own island, brandishing the beach sand for the camera.) Negative attention. Flipped upside down and started screaming. Hmmm. Well it wasn't exactly the most realistic dream. Thought about it before watching the MTV show about rich peoples' abodes. Was driving around, for some reason feeling like I could go to pieces. (I don't feel that way now.)I saw myself all shredded up, like confetti. What is the folktale about the two cats who claw each other to fur tuffs on a bridge? I imagined something more like colorful shiny bits of floating paper. As a kid I once threw sawdust at a boy going down a slide, in an attempt to enhance his experience. He ran to an adult daycare worker crying. That was me trying to be nice.
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The house sitting was good. I miss the cats. I even miss throwing the ball for the dog. (Over and over and over...) At night, in the empty house, I got unexpectedly creeped out by a seemingly benign mystery book: Killing Cousins. Then I channel surfed for an hour and felt better--enough to go to sleep. Also the presence of cats helped.
Another night, I saw a tiny bit of a show about haunted houses, which are part of a park of historic buildings in the British Isles. I wished it was just a show about architecture. I flipped to another channel. It was a show about a film festival. The words "I Am Love" and "Farewell" soothed me, also unexpectedly.
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Cooling. I noticed it playing after I drove past the man surrounded by onlookers as he lay still at the foot of the steps of the bank.

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