Good lord, white wine in the a.m....

"Dad, Dad, I can't wait for you to meet my new girlfriend. She's really cool. She ultimately just wants to be a mommy. (I know that's what all women want out of life, because if they can't have kids, why bother being a woman?) And she said she wants to let me pick out how many kids we have, and of course they all get my name! I just can't wait for you to meet her! I know you and mom will just love her!"


 

 "Well, son, that sounds like a very satisfactory life partner you've chosen for yourself. I knew I raised you right!"