Sort of dance-ish?

I have hopped around recently in regards to my viewpoints on kids and people with infertility issues.

One one hand, I am not my callous younger self. I am beginning to understand and empathize more with people who have infertility issues and have been driven to, at best irritation, at worst, suicidalish despair, by people who don't understand their grief and predicament. I am extremely grateful that women are speaking out about their experiences. It helps me figure out how to relate to my own situation and my own body.

On the other hand, if I say I 100% don't agree with my younger self about the "adoption" stuff...well, that's not quite true either. I was thinking about a situation I once encountered. It involved a man who lost his mother. Part of it was that I didn't know him well. He was probably in his 30s or 40s. Anyways, all he would ever talk about was about his mother. He was sooo bitter that she was gone. It was so unfair. He'd carried all her hardships as his own, and he was MAD. It got to the point where it was exhausting to hang out with him, and you really hoped he'd move on in his grieving process...

I mean, reading some things online has totally swayed me towards NEVER having even one single IVF treatment. Not that I have the money to do that anyway. But really. I guess part of me does still have some of the same opinions of my younger self. (Maybe because I've never gone through the fertility treatments experience.) I've noticed how sometimes people bond intensely with others who aren't of their same genetic make up...I mean, it's a very difficult question. I can see how it would be so much easier if you could just get pregnant like everyone else seemingly can...however...I think if I truly wanted a child that badly, and if I had the money, I would try to look at it from a soul level.

I may also be influenced by a girl I knew as a child. She was a little older than I was and she was adopted. I had a hero-worship type of thing going on with her, and I thought she was really cool.

So...I hope anyone who has plunged into the depths of despair because of infertility could also find themselves at the heights of joy... Like this woman:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/22/nia-vardalos-not-so-instant-mom/?_r=0

That's the way I feel at the moment. Feelings change all the time. Tomorrow I may have a different perspective.

Cue Engelbert Humperdink...



Quando, quando, quando

Ack...