I became a swimmer again today!

I got in the pool again for the first time in a couple years.

The lifeguards were playing '80s music. "Take My Breath Away..." 

After my swimming laps experience, I'm calling this swimsuit "crotch goblin." I think it's better for the hot tub. But I still like it.

I told myself I'd be fine if I did ten laps. But it felt like my body was saying just one more. Just one more. I missed swimming! I think I did more like thirty. Granted, these were leisurely laps. Some of them involved just holding on to the kickboard and kicking across the pool. Lots of side stroke. Lots of backstroke. I was there for more than an hour and a half. When I finally decided to stop. I swam over to the ladder and I was glad that I did because as I got out of the pool, the exhaustion hit. I have not felt that way after swimming in quite a long time.

It's a pool that was used in the Olympic trials and when I left, I smiled as I passed the scoreboard and looked at the name "M. Phelps." Because I remembered the friend I made in graduate school who said he liked to swim in a leisurely way, and how a fellow swimming class student had yelled at him, "Go Michael Phelps!" That always makes me think of somebody swimming in a leisurely fashion and not caring what other people think, ha-ha.

Now I have to de-stress because I started thinking about the conversation I had with a friend who never wants to think about the ICE raids. I wanted to chew on a finger and I slightly did. Because I still feel incredibly upset when I think about how that whole thing went. I don't understand why she had to shut it down like that. But I understand shutting down the conversation if somebody's saying I'm getting overwhelmed and I'll need to talk about it later. I understand that. I understand that sometimes you need to end those conversations. But the way it happened felt really brutal. 

These are some intense times to be living in.