I should ask the universe why, if I was supposed to learn more about femininity in this life, why I didn't get more feminine influences? Why did I have to struggle to recover and look for those? You can have knowledge and then forget it. It's like there's this constant process of amnesia happening. You're nervous system gets thrown off by a traumatic event and all of a sudden you're like an amnesiac and that wonderful knowledge you were so sure you had becomes something you have to try to remember. Grief and anger and rage and fear can push people into really strange corners sometimes. That's why it's good to seek out practices that can help with getting more balanced and centered. Then it's not so difficult to recover memories or a sense of balance.
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