Not everyone can be or wants to be like them.

Controlling people want to preserve oppressive systems because they have found a place in them, and they're not interested in other people having better lives. They're self-absorbed, and scared to not be self-absorbed. They don't want to think their lives are connected to others. They want to live in small privilege bubbles, but they're actually cheating themselves out of more than they can admit, because they're addicted to old ways which do not encourage them to grow or change as much as they could. They feel threatened by other people getting more. They think they're fine with the oppressive systems and they refuse to see that they're being actually not very good to themselves, either. They could do more for themselves and for others if they grew more.