The Imagined Galaxies of Ruth Stone on NPR

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=3600925

We washed their dishes!!!

the not quite
anoretic student
instructs on self:
eat sparingly so
that thou may
devote this day
to letters

Oh maybe I'll go as Aditi after all.

I found a friend who is sort of in the same boat as I am (not sure if she really wants to stay out too long, etc...)

But its too bad about the henna.

Little Miss

Tonight, I have the option of attending multiple Halloween festivities. There's the one being thrown by some students in the English dept (last year, one girl went as an "abstraction," and another girl went as a Freudian slip), the Anthropology people (they had one last year and it was huge and integrated, i.e. by other departments) and the Witches (new and intriguing). I even have another party I could've attended if I'd wanted to drive to Virginia...Its too much. I'm just going to stay home and study and watch a DVD. Little Miss Antisocial strikes again. ;-P
Anyways, the only store I know of that sells henna was sold out.

Maybe I'll make soup.

Things to put in soup:

allspice
ginger
garlic
bay leaves
miso
cinnamon stick

aditi? usha?

I wasn't paying any attention to the whole seasonal costume thing, but my roommate has been going crazy with her sewing machine and some gorgeous reddish material she bought from local large chain store. Then I remembered an outfit of similar material that a friend gave me over five years ago. The outfit is from India, and at the time I was going out with an Indian guy, but I wouldn't have worn it around him (I had a fear of being perceived as a culturally insensitive white girl). It is quite beautiful and elaborate, it even has little mirrors embedded in the intricate embroidery and I think I'm finally going to wear it. I've been reading a translation of a medieval French work (Christine de Pizan's Epistle of Othea) which in part talks about astrology and some pagan dieties (such as Aurora, the goddess of the dawn.) Red seems a good color to associate with the sun's rays or how they color the sky so I was thinking of going as Usha, the Hindu goddess of the dawn. Or else Aditi, the mother goddess, gave birth to twelve sons/astrological signs, and some sources seem to associate her with the sun (on the internet, anyways).

While I was searching, I stumbled across this girl's very amusing blog:

http://free-range.thwapped.com/

It captures the essence of highschool, and a little bit of that "highschool girl mean" ;-)

Lapidaries, herbals and bestiaries

A coughing girl rumages
through lozenges and tissues.
Oh no, I'm sitting next to
the sick girl. Others twist
away from slide show
depictions of the medieval
womb in a dark auditorium.

Outside the sun shines
brightly for the first time
in days; after chairing a
successful session he goes
home and drinks too much
and the participants' joy
at sinking their teeth into
an inexperienced student
validates their conviction
that she still doesn't know
quite as much as they do.

Applause from the next room
resembles the sound of rain
drops persistently beating
a white gloved hand as it
turns the pages of a rare book.

Lukewarm receptions are
reserved for the "independent
scholar" as opposed to
the people from actual
universities. Science as
rhetoric versus modern
notions of hard science.
Derrida has left us. Yes--
the presenters pace and
gesture as they dis-
play their passions:
Lapidaries. Herbals.
And bestiaries.

Ah, October

Its the month of colors.
Leaves of tissue paper.
When you feel like
you've got to dip
your nose into a
vat of chapstick.

You've gotten so sick
of sucking on cough drops
that you're desperate to find
any brand that's sugar free.

Ricola makes one.
Its got an echinacea and
green tea flavor.

Doesn't that sound healthy?

Others think that this is the season
for carameling apples and
painting faces. I think its
the month for sampling
as many different kinds
of immune-system boosting,
antioxidant-laden brands
of tea that you can get
your greedy little hands on.

Animus/Anima struggles

Animus/Anima struggles.
Examples #1 & #2.
(gender specific)

I. Girl approaches girl
in a bar. After idle chit-
chat, the first girl says
"Don't you want him?
You can admit it.
We ALL wanted him.
Even I wanted him.
I was identifying as
a lesbian at the time.
But if you don't,
then that's good."

II. The man who
blames his divorce on
his ex-wife's mother-
in-law communicates
this with an almost
reluctant admiration.

One of these days I'll figure out how to do that thing where you list people's websites, etc. on the sidebar....It has recently come to my attention that this person's blog is quite fascinating, especially the visual imagery:

http://agagreflex.blogspot.com/

Mine own is looking a wee bit disorganized. I think I need to pick a theme.

Cute Southern Terms...

"Tend to your own rat killing"

(admonishment when my sister and I fought)

"Boys and Heidi!"

(exclamation when something noteworthy occured)

"Give grandaddy some sugar"

(give your grandfather a kiss)

"sweet pea" "sugar plum" "dinkle dolls"

(terms of endearment)

I'm surely leaving out some of them...(?)

Nothing and I mean NOTHING is more old boy's network/bureaucratic than an entire workplace/community which allows a man to publicly indulge himself in a way that effects women adversely (however slightly it may seem to some people who foolishly think that it only counts if it culminates in some act of extreme violence) Other stuff is bad enough, too. And actually, I think that sometimes its the slow accumulation of detritus over the years is even worse. Via my own family and stepfamily I've witnessed/come into contact with the following bad habits: Southern style "chivalry" (and oppression of women), extreme fanatic devotion to religion, alcoholism and substance abuse, bi polar disorder, severe depression, suicide attempts. Thats not to exclude the many positives, but what the hell, you saw how I woke up. It hasn't been such a positive morning, yet! Before the screaming man woke me up, I was having a funny dream that I was somewhere in the south, riding the bus to highschool. I thought "Now I can view it from the perspective of someone who is 27."

Sad neighbor

This morning I woke to once again hear him screaming at his son's new mother. I was lying in my bed in a strange Indian style position, feeling like the lower part of my body was numb or like a large board was laid over me, and heard him screaming. I think its the psychic effect of his voice invading my bedroom and I resent it.

smoking & music & telepathy & such

I talked to my ex-boyfriend in Ithaca, who had called me about a week ago. Today, I was walking around on campus and noticing Jewish guys in dark suits carrying long pointy stalks of something (plants) and so I called and asked if he'd gotten mitzvah'd or whatever, and he had no idea what I was talking about (he's only part Jewish anyways). Then we found out we've been listening to the exact samealbum recently (by "Air"). He said that was weird. I said, yeah but not as weird as when we found out we'd seen the exact same softcore porn movie as teenagers on HBO. Ha ha. Or, the time when I told him about a song he never heard about, and then he ran into three different people in one night who were all singing it. Too bad he's already slept with one of my friends since we broke up (that is just not that attractive). Coincidentally he's quitting smoking, just as I'm starting the habit! Ididn't used to see how people could smoke a pack a day. But now, I can. However, I really think this is just a phase, for me. Anyways, its weird to think you and your ex have been listening to the same exact album...but I refuse to think that we have had the same exact EXPERIENCE of listening to it. Sometimes weird things like that just happen. But it means you can be better friends with people again. Once I saw a girl at a busstop who I had never seen before, but I just had a strong feeling knew a friend of mine I'd lost touch with. It was so strong, that I decided to act upon it, and I asked her if she knew her. And guess what? I was right! However, I never got in touch with my friend, because she didn't have the girl's phone #. She told me she knew that cafe where my friend worked and told me the name of it, but I either forgot or was too lazy to look it up.

I was gonna post something about Elisabetta Sirani, but...

"Lets talk about me." Discussion sections were successfully completed, and now its time to have a three day weekend...all for me me me! This is good. Because lately, I feel like my attitude is a combination of I sure wish I could kick your ass and ha ha! isn't life a grand joke. I need a lot of smoke. Either cigarettes (which I didn't used to buy but I bought a pack yesterday) or burning lots and lots of incense. I don't know why this is, but this smoke reminds me of the boyfriend I had in Peru. I went there 4 times. Occasionally, friends say "oh that sounds soooo romantic" and I say cynically, "yeah well, it wasn't as romantic as you think." But now, I feel, perhaps, it was romantic? Flying to the Amazon rainforest, communicating in another language, travelling around the Andes, staying in icy cold cheap hotel rooms, going out for Peruvian pizza...yes, it was, in fact, it was VERY romantic. Si, si, si, claro que si! Never blog when you've drunk spiced wine and have a paper about famous lovers due the next day. Maybe I just want to go back to Peru (in general). Peru, mi segunda hogar.
This is not a post about a wish to reunite with an ex, by the way. (Unless this ex is just Peru).

Old guys who think they're charismatic should get chakra healings and date women their own age.

when does school suck

when it breeds too much cleverness
when it ruins relationships
when we slander one another
when in place of compassion
we only
respect
(that means fear)
authority

Vashon Island

I'm looking for anything on the internet related to a poetry press on Vashon, for my poetry class.

Once I lived there. It was very woodsy. My mom was all into channeling and crystals and fairies and stuff.

Then I started hitting adolesence and getting a wee bit rebellious. And, then she got married and we moved to D.C. suburbs (Virginia) ultra Republican highschool hell. (Oh it was only hellish for a year or so...really...)

But anyways.

So far I've found "Crab Creek Review" and "Kota Press."

Vashon is an interesting place.

Yesterday my roommate and I went to see a band called Carbon Leaf play at a Celtic Festival in Bethlehem, PA. I really would've liked to have seen Mary Prankster in Lancaster. However I enjoyed Carbon Leaf because in concert they had a lot of energy. Plus, they're from Richmond (Virginia). Bethelehem is the other place that the Moravians (my ancestors) settled, besides Winston Salem, NC. I wore my Mrs. Hanes Moravian Cookies t-shirt. I also bought a pair of pointy red earring with Celtic symbols on them.

SCHOOL

A professor walks into
the lecture hall.
He tucks an arm
inside his jacket
(like Napoleon)
and gestures
flamboyantly
as he asks for
a show of hands

"How many of you are 17?
How many of you are 18?"

After a cool assessment
we get down to the text.

"You know what I like
about the girl in this
story? She's lost. Now
in my time...I've known
many women." Rustle,
rustle. Suddenly,
they're paying attention!

"Yes, I've known my share
of lost girls. And who knows.
I was just as lost as some
of them, perhaps.

When you're with
a woman
you think
you're going
to get

Mmmm hmmm...

But instead

you get

Uh uh...

What comes out?

Baggage. Guilt.
Problems with Daddy.

There's all kinds
of guilt, you know.

Catholic guilt.

Jewish guilt.

I know because
I've experienced
them all.
That's because
I have no soul."

(all nervously laugh)

"You know what I have
in place of a soul?
A fascination with women."

The students laugh
(nervously) again.

I get self-concious
because I'm sitting
right in his line
of vision.

"And I bet a lot of other
guys would say the same."

I uncross my legs
and zip up my jacket.
He sallies forth.

"Do you believe
in closure? Sometimes
closure is just a nice
idea. Sometimes your
heart is broken and
just keeps breaking."

And we're onto
the next topic.
The death
of one's mother.

Hooray for tenure.

If one believes in the idea that there is a "Universal Soul" ("very Emersonian!" another grad student, who came here from Kent State, commented when I told him this) then I think it could be possible to have mingled with some other soul or souls before incarnating. Which might explain why one might seem to have intimations about, or, simply be rather fascinated by, certain people. http://may4archive.org/bill_schroeder.shtml