It is

"a very binge-worthy show."

~ https://thegrapevine.theroot.com/i-binge-watched-call-the-midwife-and-it-got-me-all-in-1825664324

Gah!

http://www.radiotimes.com/news/tv/2018-04-27/call-the-midwife-star-jack-ashton-on-how-the-show-transformed-his-life/

That will be a lot to forget.

Trixie-ish mood now

Trixie.

http://callthemidwife.wikia.com/wiki/Beatrix_Franklin

Why did I not understand that is a pet name for Beatrix???

Body talk

From an earlier mood...
The woman was wronged and she was not sorry. She was not sorry. She was angry. She got what was coming to her. So much pain. So much blood. Beatrice. The source still seeks healing. Ending a marriage for excellent reasons. Coming back for excellent reasons.

Fun stuff

Behold Tom,

http://callthemidwife.wikia.com/wiki/Tom_Hereward

(Ugh, too many spoilers)

The closest I have encountered to a fictional flawed human character with I imagine a wonderful likeness to Bill S.

Ha ha.

This is interesting.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/apr/28/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-feminism-racism-sexism-gender-metoo

Many happy returns

A few reasons why

I think my friend should come back.
1) She asked me for advice and then ran away, which is not fair
2) We had similar interests
3)  I was going to e-mail her about her book and be very complimentary

Moonrise over the mountain

There was more

Where the quiet was eerie

Bye, Eton Rabbit Hole

PLEASE GO OUTSIDE.

"Eton College, the school that boasts of educating more British prime ministers than any other, has revealed a gender pay gap among its staff well above the national average – but below some of its rivals, including Westminster School."
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/mar/30/eton-reveals-gender-pay-gap-figures-well-above-national-average


GOUT

"Eton is no ordinary school; it’s a golden ticket into the specialized class."
~ http://highexistence.com/wonder-terror-propaganda-modern-governments-misuse-media-manipulate-bewildered-herd/

GO   OUT

"'wholly unnecessary' massages." https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/06/former-eton-sports-teacher-massaged-pupils-virtually-naked-body/


NOW YOU ARE  GETTING IT ALL MIXED UP.

GO OUTSIDE.

Good bad kitties

Not Your Fishy

When she says...

"Your ovaries, normally the size of a walnut, can grow to be the size of a cantalope...for me personally, I gained 8% of my body weight in 5 days..." (3:40-3:50)

~ A journey through infertility -- over terror's edge ~ Camille Preston

It sounds like she's inflicting PCOS on herself!

Ow. My body hurts.

:-[

Sorry if this is insensitive, and I'm not always sure if I believe it because cancer sounds so awful, but here it is again:

"A client of mine who had survived cancer herself said surviving cancer was nothing compared to navigating infertility. She said people just don't get it. They say the stupidest things." (9:05-9:15).

~ A journey through infertility -- over terror's edge ~ Camille Preston

Meet it near or far

I want to be more happy for the rest of the day, but I still wonder if these are extreme events that highlight smaller things imposed by society, such as a rigidity in assigned gender roles which leads to one sex dehumanizing the other, resulting in harmful effects on all people. The Toronto attack and Elliot Rodgers spree harmed both men and women...

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-for-women-misogyny-is-a-daily-reality/

+

https://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/a20060379/involuntary-celibates-want-you-to-think-theyre-victims-theyre-anything-but/

I need to look at other things now.

Simultaneously shocking and reasonable

Some people, including women who have deeply internalized patriarchal values, might be upset to hear him say this....

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/terry-crews-women-of-the-world-summit-cult-of-masculinity.html

I think he is just trying to be honest about what our culture has done because he wants it to get better.

Re-listening while doing dishes

It’s About Time We Valued Being Fertile ~ Emma Cannon

I don't know...if this one has a transcript?

I was looking...

https://www.scoop.it/t/pcos-or-polycystic-syndrome/p/4076535777/2017/03/16/it-s-about-time-we-valued-being-fertile-emma-cannon-tedxcoventgardenwomen

One way...another way...

"One way of looking at it is we have these patriarchal social structures, bastions of male privilege where a dominant man might feel entitled to (and often receive) feminine care and attention from women." - Kate Manne

~ https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/12/5/16705284/metoo-weinstein-misogyny-trump-sexism

~~~~~

"So, sexism is the ideology that supports patriarchal social relations, but misogyny enforces it when there’s a threat of that system going away."
- Kate Manne

https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/12/5/16705284/metoo-weinstein-misogyny-trump-sexism

~~~~~

Maybe some of the golf buddies aren't absolutely misogynistic, but more like just sexist.

This needs a very good song

(Looking for one...)

https://www.timeshighereducation.com/news/grant-reviewers-biased-against-female-scientists-study-finds

Maybe...


Pissed Jeans - The Bar Is Low

Bob and I were tremendous friends once

Then Bobbie reincarnated as a woman and got so ANGRY.
Bob, why are you like that.
Because you and Sandra treat me differently now.
Bobbie, read this. It might help.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/transgender-people-treat-man-woman-differently-lgbt-gender-images-perception-a7681866.html

Religious reasons perhaps

How many times in your life have you granted a higher level of status/importance to a man that you would not have if that person had just happened to have been born in a woman's body.

It was probably accidental.

If the script says

"you must have children to know true love"
and you thought you might but you did not
why did you not?

"you should get married"
and you thought you might but you did not
why did you not?

"you should change your last name to your husband's name"
.............

I shouldn't but

I also wonder how many of your friends voted for this jerk because they are misogynists and he is a rich white man.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-paralympics-was-tough-to-watch

That's it!
Gotta go watch a heart-warming Christmas special.

Finished another one

Chummy...Patsy...Delia...

https://reviewsbymarika.wordpress.com/2015/05/17/call-the-midwife-season-4-episode-8/

I wondered if thalidomide was bad...

https://blogs.weta.org/tellyvisions/2015/05/17/call-midwife-series-4-episode-8-recap

A read for you and your golfing buddies

Points
Points
Points
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/apr/27/not-that-bad-extract-roxane-gay-xtx-ways-we-are-taught-to-be-a-girl

A NEW talk about messages

It’s About Time We Valued Being Fertile ~ Emma Cannon

Half a toast idea

The other morning, as I was enjoying a piece of avocado toast (I know not everyone likes it but I think it's nice with toasted Ezekial bread) I noticed that most of my bites were really kinda "meh" but two or three were "this is exceptional, delicious!" and made me want more. 

This made me wonder if I could actually eat half the amount of toast/fat/calories with the same amount of enjoyment. If only two or three bites are going to be amazing, why eat the whole thing in one serving?

Yay!

Keys were in the pocket of lunch bag.
Food is good! Thank you, force.
Now we can go places.
Freedom! 
Ha ha ha....
I know I have it. For example my life is nothing like this fascinating and terrifying story, nothing at all like it, and I'm glad.

Searching for keys

which I have not seen since yesterday.
May a force that helps one find the keys be with me.

Should have gone outside today

Welcome to coffee talk, where all your light-hearted fantasies shrivel up and die.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/a20089533/lets-make-a-deal-friend-zone/

"The worst things that can happen to you:
3. going to prison
2. straight up dying
1. this"
https://mobile.twitter.com/Chelsea_Elle/status/989890110865850368

"We literally just had a guy mow a van through people because he was an 'incel' and yet, people are feeling sorry for a guy who lies on television about his relationship status and get angry at the woman 'humiliating' him?"
https://mobile.twitter.com/Nick_Thinks/status/990025376574291968

I hope the actress is not on social media.

Really.

"Seriously, this is tough to watch and more gory than any CBS crime drama."
~ https://www.golfdigest.com/story/this-poor-guy-just-got-his-heart-broken-on-national-tv

messagemessage

Hot pack, cold pack

Temperatures to distract from    pain
I wonder if I can send them rainbow light

Questioning religion

and beliefs

http://theconversation.com/how-the-bible-shapes-contemporary-attitudes-to-rape-and-sexual-assault-76900

is not bad.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/whats-really-behind-indias-rape-crisis

Ah, sleep

You necessary rascal.

Why did you not allow me to stay up til 3 a.m. for this:

Yvonne John talks...

Well, will investigate more anyways...

https://weareworthysummit.com/events/friday-27th-april/

*****

https://www.michellemariemcgrath.com/56-yvonne-john/

*****

https://findingmyplanb.wordpress.com/2018/04/22/when-i-talked-to-michelle-marie-mcgrath/

Just a base reaction

Pizza, pizza, pizza...

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/i-am-the-one-woman-who-has-it-all

PIZZA...

That's how it was

Wow, it only took many, many, many accounts of severe violations.

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-galvanizing-shock-of-the-bill-cosby-verdict

Insists he's still "feeling great"

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/04/27/bill-cosby-feeling-great-after-guilty-verdict-rep-says.html

Better choices next life.

Because they raise the bar

It is good to have known people who are inclined towards healing.  It is also good to be around people who do not settle or make excuses for misogynistic behavior patterns which large portions of society have continuously excused.

Disappointing behavior patterns can include pestering, stalking, and subjecting others to your righteous anger as you walk about in your pain cloud, or making excuses for others who have done so because...(fill in the blank).

It can include treating loved ones badly and later showering them with praise for putting up with your abusive conduct, or making excuses for others who have done so because... (fill in the blank).

It can be depressing to see old, unhealthy ways still being repeated. It is more inspiring to know there are some people who have definitely worked to break out of the cycle and not repeat abusive behavior patterns.

Something better

https://www.thelocal.no/20180424/video-watch-and-hear-ice-shatter-into-crystals-on-a-norwegian-lake

Not thou

At least you weren't this sick...

"What we’re seeing right now is one of society’s oldest hatreds, misogyny, being reworked in real time to fit a specific group of men’s rage and pain. And 10 people in Toronto just died as a result."

~ https://www.vox.com/world/2018/4/25/17277496/incel-toronto-attack-alek-minassian

Thou too?

Why thou... "In that life I was a man who devalued women and denied feminine qualities in myself because of my own fears. OR In that life I was a woman who overvalued selfish men and treated other women poorly. I wasn't totally a bad person, and I could still get positive feedback from being nice to others sometimes, but I definitely made some choices which hurt more than helped...why was I this way?"

Hmmm Hmmm

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/trees-might-have-heartbeat

Evening gleaning(s)

If you're on a campus during a blackout, stars or other lights in the sky look very bright.

A place to visit sometime?

Okay

The universe sent me a girl who looked a lot like my friend. She told me about Captain Fantastic, which I have never seen. She said she thinks it's better to be honest with children.

I get disappointed when women stay with men who have not really owned up to their poor treatment of women...

One thing that was cool, that we talked about, was how important it was for her to leave an abusive relationship and find a better one.

Denim Day

Milwaukee
https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/local/milwaukee/2018/04/25/why-jeans-hanging-light-posts-denim-day-explained/549522002/

LA
https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Denim-Day-Observation-in-Southern-California-in-Times-of-MeToo-Movement-480792821.html

And also

Ah
https://infertilityawareness.org/stories/personal-stories/flipthescript-queen-transforms-pain-to-platform/

this
https://weareworthysummit.com/events/friday-27th-april/

week
https://infertilityawareness.org/stories/personal-stories/

People get attached to forms.

When I was younger I felt I could have been here in another form. I felt bad that something of my essence could have been more accepted in one form than in another. Then an event happened and I understood it from another perspective. You get attached to the way your friend looked. It's difficult to give up the way you knew your friend. Your friend could choose to come back in another way and doesn't actually need your consent to do that. There's a lower consciousness and a higher consciousness. When the lower conciousness is resisting the higher one, there's a lot of turmoil. You are on earth, which has great things, such as mountains. It also has many turbulent human emotions and behaviors. It's very easy to get attached to one way of knowing a person and not want things to change...

Reason to be thankful

I had wondered if all adults just seemed disappointing but really this seems like an act of grace and a bright spot in a still sad story after another terrible outcome of this country's foolishness about gun laws.
  https://www.houstonpublicmedia.org/articles/news/2018/04/23/281095/im-not-a-hero-says-james-shaw-jr-acclaimed-as-hero-of-waffle-house-attack/

Change...

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/22/politics/david-briley-waffle-house-shooting-tennessee/index.html

well oh

Grimes ft. Janelle Monáe - Venus Fly (Official Video)

CDC

Person C acts that way because he/she is in such pain. Weirdly, Person D had twice as many hardships to deal with, and is nothing like Person C. Oh well, Person C has goals.

The fun is where it's at

That was a very cathartic and weepy lunch session yesterday. You're better than them! They can work harder to live up to your great example. Some of them are so tiresome sometimes. You're like a mountain in Hawaii. They just bitch about their problems. I mean they act nice, and then they do it again. They need to go back to basic training. Of course, not like everything was perfect but your example is STILL way better.

That's good!

"You will not die at a young age." https://twitter.com/AdichieSpeaks/status/988423951989735424

It can be a lot

Forgive  yourself
for your own grief

Weird but not untrue

I need to consume way less plastic. Sometimes I feel very tired, as if I have carried the vibe of a man who long ago gave up on two cultures, negotiating with Europeans, and just walked into the woods, never to return, like the human version of a wounded animal crawling away to die, but that is not really an option for the present and I am not a man. Having anxiety issues in a woman's body is not the same thing. Usually walks in nature are rejuvenating. OR JUST GETTING STILL AND LISTENING TO YOUR BODY. That was an all-caps accident but maybe I will keep it like that...

The rest of the day is Earth Day!

Black-eyed Leaf Frog...
https://www.vox.com/2018/4/21/17247994/earth-day-2018-plastic-climate-change

This is why

some of us would rather save up to stay at a quiet cabin in the mountains.

“Would you do that to a coworker? Or another guy? Then don’t do that to me. This is my third day, and it’s probably happened to me 40 times this weekend.” -June, 20

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/sexual-harassment-was-rampant-at-coachella-2018

Time for a break

This looks like it was made with lots of inspiration!!!
I wonder how it tastes.

Interesting tidbits continued

Science

"The bias was of the same magnitude whether the professor was a woman or a man...if a member of the minority group goes along with members of the majority group who have these subtle biases it legitimizes the response where you're going to continue to hire the man more than the woman." (6:15 - 6:48). Why Are Even Women Biased Against Women?

Journalism

"To his surprise, he found that not a single woman made it into the top ten...Are they following and retweeting male political journalists more..." (7:40 - 7:56)
Why Are Even Women Biased Against Women?

Do they know

"It's largely unconscious" (9:20)
Why Are Even Women Biased Against Women?

Sighworthy

To see a woman treat a man with a certain respect and think, boy it would really be a different story if that man she's building up and respecting right now had been born in a female body....

Wonder if even one of the godly men in the coffee shop would also think that it is sad to see.

Interesting Program Tidbit

Mostly female literary agents liked a writer's stuff better (8x better!) when she submitted it under a man's name.

Why Are Even Women Biased Against Women?

"They also get more coaching and more encouragement" (4:22)

Jesus cared

"'I think we need to stop giving men cookies for doing what they should do,' she says, and goes on to explain that her husband, who needs less sleep than her, tends to get up in the night to tend to the baby. 'On the one hand, I realise that my husband is unusual; on the other, I feel resentful when he’s overpraised by my family and friends. He’s like Jesus.'”

 ~ https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/mar/04/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie-stop-telling-me-feminism-hot

Today's liturgy

"...good, godly..."

~ http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2018/04/horrible-christian-fiction-kidnapping-and-sex-trafficking-edition.html

This is the day that the Lord has made for godly women?

Would the godly men in the coffee shop agree?

"Still, there is a tension among evangelical women. They said they largely cast their votes against Hillary Clinton more than for Mr. Trump."

~ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/11/us/politics/white-evangelical-women-trump.html

“'I would like for someone to challenge him,' Ms. Rains said, as she sipped wine recently with two other evangelical Christian women at a suburban restaurant north of Dallas. 'But it needs to be somebody that’s strong enough to go against the Democrats.' Her preferred alternative: Nikki R. Haley, the United Nations ambassador and former South Carolina governor."

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/11/us/politics/white-evangelical-women-trump.html

Let us pray...

Eyes to

the

sky

"It's nice"

I agreed. The sunset was.
And a guy kept rolling a ball my way.
"I should bring you a glove."
The universe sent nice polite guys :')

A change up there

Nature poem?

https://practicingresurrection.wordpress.com/2016/08/11/to-the-national-security-agency/

And sky

Whatafield

So much on the net

Something Canadian.

http://www.vawlearningnetwork.ca/knowledge-hub/intergenerational-trauma

Do not stalk or vent at women because you saw other men doing this or because of your trauma. Do not make excuses for yourself for doing so, even if other women have done so. You have wasted your own time with abusive behavior patterns and foolishness.

Black and white kitty

Guilty and sneaking out kibble to deposit at a distance by an electricity pole.
(The cat of the house would not approve)

Dishes music:  Genesis, Kill v. Maim...

Hmmm, that's the Madonna Inn in Flesh Without Blood...

According to
http://www.thefader.com/2018/04/03/grimes-music-video-style-evolution-guide

Feel The Word

Bible study group. They were interrupting my reading.

I had just finished reading about British subjects in the American revolution who thought of themselves as slaves to Britain, even though they themselves were slave owners, when the group came within earshot. Well, I guess the coffee blender somewhat ruined the context, so I'll have to look up another quote that came from the head of the table:

"....make a man change gods"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097481/quotes

And after that, they began. The verses they wanted to look at were

http://biblehub.com/genesis/3-6.htm

and

http://biblehub.com/genesis/3-16.htm

That's woman as temptress, woman being punished with childbirth pains...

Then I noticed that a fleur-de-lis type symbol at the beginning of the chapter in the reading seemed to resemble female reproductive organs.

...and female desire for control and male as ruler...

Charming!

It was apparent that being head of the household was important to this small Christian group of Black, Asian, and White men. A woman may have emotional influence but a man must be the head, their leader instructed.

"If you don't know what manhood is, if you don't know what God made you to be, then you will never be able to walk."

I tried to move on to my Martin Luther King reading, but they were noisy about "being out in the open" about their sins and I could not. Lust is a big problem.

One said his friend recommended a therapist to him and he referred his wife to the therapist, so now she's in therapy. (Maybe because she's married to someone who needs to be the ruler/head of the household?)  He admitted he'd told half-truths...he was not open about his sin of lust, which he hopes god will cure him of...Well, look at that, it's CLOSING TIME!

As I got up and gathered my things, the head of the table was saying that being a godly man will not easy at first, but it will become easier. God will "prune" him and then he can "prune" others. Those who do not wish to be pruned are like cockroaches running from the light, he continued, as I scuttled away.

In the parking lot, a couple made out beneath the streetlight. I wanted to say, hey Bible study dudes! There's two guys kissing in the parking lot! One has a blond crewcut and the other has a dark beard, kind of like your leader!

Ha. I did not of course.

As I drove away I could see they were still there, past closing time. How come they stay so late? Are they related to one of the women who works there? Could one of them be a wife? No, that's probably not the case. I'm sure their wives are at home doing godly things, like sewing quilts for their daughters' hope chests, in preparation for the day when father-the-head-of-the-household gives her away to a godly man...

"Look at me..."

also noticed

another
https://www.freep.com/story/news/2018/04/19/metoos-tarana-burke-appears-msu-survivors-not-spin/533259002/

voice
http://time.com/collection/most-influential-people-2018/5217577/tarana-burke/

heard something else

on the radio
https://www.pri.org/stories/2018-04-18/asia-argento-relearning-how-live-her-life-after-sexual-assault

and
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/20/asia-argento-metoo-harvey-weinstein-italy

wish after a dream

(it was a painful dream about a man who had harmed others with his behavior patterns and got away with it)

wishing that some people would know, really inside themselves, how certain types of harmful behavior can affect people. In many cases this is not what they want, so they shut their eyes and their ears and their hearts, for it would likely be a painful knowledge. Why? Are they bound to be loyal to role models who were patriarchal and steeped in social mores about old-fashioned gender roles?

In addition to imitating what they learned (conciously or unconciously?), there are people who behave this way who have very little reason to change if the society around them continues to enable and tolerate less than stellar behavior.

Sometimes this is how men are treated, and sometimes this is how men treat men and women.

However, sometimes women are also in denial about what they were taught and how they treat other women for various reasons.

IRL - Yesterday the patriarchy was at work in a woman at the store who was loud on her cell phone, trashing another woman's character, and mentioning how all of the gossip she relayed had happened at church, of all places.

That's cool

"Follow your intuition!! "
https://mobile.twitter.com/TheButterscotch/status/983392055618519042

They did.

https://cools.com/musician-butterscotch-self-acceptance/

The same?

She is
https://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/woman-confronted-tony-robbins-viral-video-clip-shes/story?id=54345189

Nanine McCool

http://www.latimes.com/local/abcarian/la-me-abcarian-robbins-20180410-story.html

Mandeville

 http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/08/attorney_disciplinary_hearing.html

Terrain differences

I used to feel frustrated I could find no very nearby hills to climb in Illinois.
That's not the way it is out here.

https://angeles.sierraclub.org/lpc_peaklist

I think I need to train for the easier ones. Including swimming...I think swimming makes me better at climbing stairs...why not the smaller peaks?

Sounds nice

"Which, we might add, is locally owned." https://twitter.com/dfmworkers/status/985982701587984386

Sorry not to have seen more of Santa Rosa before the fires.
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/8229358-181/pulitzer-prize-awarded-to-press

And did you see this

Jodi Kantor ~ Ronan Farrow ~ Megan Twohey

https://www.vox.com/culture/2018/4/16/17244172/pulitzer-prize-2018-jodi-kantor-ronan-farrow-megan-twohey-me-too

I wonder if it's weird to be one of the people who hung out with that guy and had no clue.

};=]

He says, "I think you should watch the trailer for The Wife."
"It's an interesting time for it to be coming out, during our male reckoning," he says. Hmmm, is that based on a book I read years back...It is.

So many interesting insights

From Learning That I Don’t Deserve Pain:

"Looking back, I don’t think there was an evil master plan at work, but a constellation of lessons that made it implicitly clear that whatever happened to me was acceptable, and perhaps even deserved."

https://www.ladyscience.com/blog/learningthatidontdeservepain-painmemoir-napolitano


"During this same time that I was learning of my mother’s pain, my prepubescent body was already becoming an object of scrutiny. On my father’s command, I spent afternoons running up and down the stairs of our apartment building so I wouldn’t get fat. Exercise wasn’t yet a fun activity; it was a demonstration of power."

https://www.ladyscience.com/blog/learningthatidontdeservepain-painmemoir-napolitano


"Those early lessons, from my mother, my father, and church, taught me that being listened to and acknowledged corresponded to worth — and being overlooked, ignored, or reprimanded signaled worthlessness. But now I listen to myself."

https://www.ladyscience.com/blog/learningthatidontdeservepain-painmemoir-napolitano

Wow, this is a place

GATES OF THE ARCTIC

It looks beautiful. But it also looks so wild, I am almost scared to visit it.

And then I read this...

"BICHELL: Caffrey says there's a reason the press has the document.
CAFFREY: I was legally required to release these records.
BICHELL: She works for a public university, so it had to comply with record requests. It's unclear now what will happen with Caffrey's report on sea level rise. But while this report seems theoretical for now, baby Katherine could live through all the changes her mom's predicting. By 2100 she'll be 83.
CAFFREY: When the next big storm strikes a major city, she can think of mommy and how she warned people.
BICHELL: Or at least how she and others tried.
CAFFREY: I really am trying very hard."

https://www.npr.org/2018/04/16/602971756/congressional-democrats-calling-for-investigation-into-national-park-service

What will it look like?

Food deals

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tax-day-freebies-here-are-some-of-the-best-deals/

shreddednewspaperart

In another dream, an old friend had become a scarecrow made out of shredded newspapers, or a paper mache statue in a suburban front yard. As I passed him by, I felt concern for one of his eyes, so I replaced it with a new one. I thought it was an acorn, but from afar it looked like a glass eye.

Only visiting

I had a dream that my boyfriend and I were sleeping on a park bench somewhere in New York City. (I can't say where because I don't know know New York City very well.)

"I found us a place," he said. "It has a balcony with a view of Manhattan."

I watched him smile.

"It wasn't there!"

He laughed and laughed. A great joke.

In real life, we never did that.

And I am pretty sure that is never going to happen.

This is a book within the vicinity:
City of Industry: Geneaologies of Power...

Tendrils

Belief in the soul's ability to come back does not entirely blot out grief, and that seems strange, but what sleeps for weeks seems to be gone, and then it comes back. Well, why wouldn't that happen? What about nature.

Sometimes I remember she still exists

My magical nature-loving self.
Rocks, trees, leaves, moon.
Everything.

And the sun

"They chose Southern California because of the temperature at night. In Southern California, you can go to the park and play in the moonlight without freezing."

~ https://www.ocregister.com/2017/09/18/homecoming-queen-dream-comes-true-for-riley-mccoy-the-girl-who-cant-go-out-in-the-sun/

Horses and people...

This story says horses can help people with PTSD.

https://www.sbsun.com/2017/11/17/how-san-bernardino-terror-attack-survivors-are-struggling-with-ptsds-invisible-wounds-2-years-later/

What a life???

Really, this is painful to read.

https://dfmworkers.org/hedge-fund-alden-siphoned-100s-of-millions-from-newspapers-in-scheme-to-gamble-on-other-investments-suit-says/

The building...looks like one I dreamed about going up in an elevator. It got harder to breathe the more the elevator went up.

Seems like a soul who needs guidance.

https://dfmworkers.org/the-most-hated-dude-in-the-news-industry/

Makes me feel quite rich, honestly.

And I think of young women have told me they want to become journalists. Some speak of it as if it is their dream. Where can they work?

http://mediaworkers.org/campaign-escalates-as-dfm-cuts-staff/

What if a hedge fund manager reincarnated into very different circumstances, with an intense desire to be a journalist?

He wouldn't even know why he felt so drawn to the profession.

Most people have

a little bit
https://www.refinery29.com/2018/04/195855/tony-robbins-me-too-nanine-mccool-interview

of feelings
https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/15/opinions/tony-robbins-metoo-backlash-opinion-drexler/index.html

Being the "whatever" guy

What's really amazing in addition to so-and-so's amazing and supportive partner is how someone like him can be so tone-deaf and hurtful and party to an entourage of disrespect.

Its like he and his entourage were raised in an era when women were devalued so frequently that they have no qualms about it and barely notice when it happens.

Maybe some people's descendents will find ways to develop better behavior patterns as society changes.

It's not

the sound of a head on a pillow

https://www.thenation.com/article/meet-the-vulture-capitalists-who-savaged-the-denver-post/

Ahhhhhhh

"Two things about the newspapers Alden owns are clear: They’re profitable, and they’ve been hit with far steeper cutbacks than other newspapers."

~ https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/as-a-secretive-hedge-fund-guts-its-newspapers-journalists-are-fighting-back/2018/04/12/8926a45c-3c10-11e8-974f-aacd97698cef_story.html

Song are beautiful

And they exist for so many reasons...


Grimes ~ Vanessa

~~~~~~

BØRNS - American Money

~~~~~~

Saint Sister - Tin Man

To once again think...

...that even if someone wants her art published, perhaps it could have been a much nicer experience if certain persons had been a little more sensitive....

is it really so bad?

so fleeting

so much money
https://www.africaresource.com/rasta/sesostris-the-great-the-egyptian-hercules/lodovico-sforza-the-muurish-duke-of-milan-who-invented-the-european-renaissance-oguejiofo-annu/

Then then then

I used to see this girl around a lot who reminded me of my friend and one day we talked about Oblivion together.

And sadly, I already forgot her name. She was from Arequipa, or had grown up there. She's still walking around on the Earth now, I presume. She lived with her dad, I think. And I think she had a sister who was my age who was going to have a baby.

It's too bad I didn't get an "I should go contact that person she reminds me of now" feeling from it.

(But maybe if she comes back...)

O, it's Sunday night...

Sometimes I miss my younger self; so sue me.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I still have not gone to the Toys R Us.

Halfway thought: some people try to heal or get over their pain, and some people run with it with everything they've got.

There is some humor

After "Just love them"
http://www.newsleader.com/story/news/local/staunton/2016/12/09/seeking-third-way-mary-baldwin-blazes-new-trail/95169358/

I found it under "Languages"
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dorries-bruce-5a910638

Sez:
"Romanian (like a six year old)
French (like a six year old)
Haitian Creole (toddler)"

It'll happen

when it gets a little cooler

Extrication process

There was something I thought might be fun (a workshop on making a heart-shaped pillow) that I didn't go to and now I am working on going outside again.
In the meantime...
Some People
might want to consider
Delusions of Safety
in all its details...

Go outside

This is something

A new Toys R Us?

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-toys-r-us-larian-20180413-story.html

P~, p~, p~

Perhaps X will come back in a dream / memory, or permeate quiet space during a yoga session. Perhaps X will be physically reincarnated. Perhaps X will be the overachiever who does it all.

You can come back...
Do you want to be a girl again?
How are you going to learn to speak?
It's different now. There aren't the same shows on PBS.

A better drone experience

Barrio Lindo ~ El Aire

Listening to Barrio Lindo's "El Aire" while watching

Leopold vs Tiny Whoop


again and again

The best parts of the day

had the least amount of stuff in them.

"I fear it will take nothing less than a cultural revolution to banish from my mind the laughable notion that white Nike gym socks will somehow add any value to my life—but that revolution can be built from many small acts."

~ https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2018/04/12/how-americans-highlights-dangers-consumerism


Rising Appalachia: Scale Down

How Beautiful

The Staves ~ In The Long Run

Today I went to a wild path with amazing views and got scared and turned around and came back and swept the floor and amused a cat and ate a salad and then ate strawberries and found a new song. YES.

When the sun is going down...

Mountains around here are so alluring ...such layers and shades...

https://www.nationalforests.org/blog/slowing-down-my-first-sunset-in-the-san-gabriel-mountains

And all the twinges

I did unexpectedly cry at the end of an episode.

"The other moving story is that of Sister Mary Cynthia and her interactions with members of an Irish caravan community. The main character being that of Attracta (Maria Doyle Kennedy), a woman expecting her 11th child"

~ http://cultbox.co.uk/reviews/episodes/call-the-midwife-s04e06-season-4-episode-6-review

That is, after it ended.

"Meet 17-year-old Paulette Roland—played by Outlander actress Nell Hudson. Like Scottish teen Laoghaire MacKenzie, whom Hudson portrays on the epic Starz series, Paulette likes to live on the wild side."

~ http://ew.com/recap/call-the-midwife-season-4-episode-6/

Good old poems

You again!
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/36081/fierce-girl-playing-hopscotch


And
https://poetrying.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/babies-alice-fulton/

Oh artistry

"narcissism"
~ https://www.austinchronicle.com/music/2007-08-17/524294/

"or cocaine, the sixth band member."
~ http://www.houstonpress.com/music/get-lit-storms-my-life-with-lindsey-buckingham-and-fleetwood-mac-by-carol-ann-harris-6523697

The wind! I love it

How it feels
How it sounds
What it does to leaves and grasses

Bye bee

I would like to love my brother by expecting him to be responsible for his actions.

Not me! I want to shower him with praise and adoration no matter what!

Oh well, you do you.

Hello, lunch bee

I wonder why it's so depressing to see some people keep making excuses for certain persons' abusive behavior patterns? Oh well, it is a mystery to me.

This is neat, I'll send it out

"...ways that the artists of the past repaired the flaws in torn and damaged manuscripts."

Ha, hopscotch

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/8bn0r9/youtuber_chalks_a_hopscotch_on_the_sidewalk_and/

Next, I wish they would do double dutch!

Better than the scary dream

Even though the dream was about trying to ignore a person who then choked me and threatened to cut off my hands, in real life I got to wake up with the hands intact and then hold the hand of a kind person.

And later...the absence of the nauseating headache.

Ah, the absence of the nauseating headache.

BLISS!!!!

An earnest young person was all about the Disarm song and although I didn't want it to, at 9 p.m in the grocery store it was do-si-do-ing around...

But just a bit.

Remedies

So much water and ginger is needed.
So much.

Lichen lichens

Dye~ing

Here
https://isabellawhitworth.com/2013/02/21/changing-knowledge-changing-attitudes-lichen-dyeing/

&
http://wooltribulations.blogspot.com/2013/11/evernia-prunastri-lichen-dye.html?m=1

There
https://permies.com/mobile/t/56848/fiber-arts/Lichens-Vegetable-Dyeing-Eileen-Bolton

&
http://www.donnakallnerfiberart.com/2013/04/lichen-natural-dye-fenceposts/

Oh interesting

https://blog.bufferapp.com/why-talking-about-ourselves-is-as-rewarding-as-sex-the-science-of-conversations

Well see what happens next time, I guess

"Well, I have no idea how ___ has treated other people.
What I do know is, ___ has always treated me very well."

"You know, I have heard that some women really enjoy the attentions of drone operators. Even if they think they didn't at first. I saw it in a movie once. Sure, at first she was mad, but then she got to know him, and saw that he was really a great guy. They became friends and went out for coffee regularly. She came to understand the deeper, more whimsical meaning behind his antics."

Happy Food Bowl

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/10/magazine/leftovers-new-parents-vegetables-grain-bowls.html

Just a random amazing comment

"sawkitti 2 months ago - My girl Spider has just been spayed today and has been unable to become any calmer throughout the evening. This music has her purring and dozing off now. So glad she's purring as it's supposed to help them heal. I think it's a well deserved night of sleep for her and a less worrisome night for me now too. Thank you so much ☺"

~ Desensitising Sound Healing Music for cats! comfort your aggressive cat , pet therapy sound effects

Meditation

Hi! This meditation sounds very good. 

It might help with anxiety, too.

"Society is getting wiser.
Breathe in...
Breathe out..."

Memories

X had a way of reminding me that she was most definitely neither of these things.

https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/psychopath-vs-sociopath-what-s-the-difference/

What else can you do?

It's life in a body.

I do miss and wish I could have given her the keys to an especially healing experience.

When I get off track, I have to get back on it. What else can you do? You have your own body and life to do something with.

The keys to an especially healing experience could be out there.

More change!!!

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-equal-pay-9th-circuit-20180409-story.html

Thing can change

Maybe he'll be elsewhere soon.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/09/us/politics/fbi-raids-office-of-trumps-longtime-lawyer-michael-cohen.html

Reminders

This could be a good day for a nature walk.

~~~~~

"naturally"

https://writingalife.wordpress.com/about/#comment-3

"patience"

https://writingalife.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/the-art-of-slow-writing-reflections-on-time-craft-and-creativity/#comment-961

It feels like love of nature and respect for others and for oneself are all so intertwined!

Efforts are appreciated

I am sure if certain people, such as drone operators at the park, were a bit more respectful, we could agree that this is a decent summary.

https://letsgetrichcom.wordpress.com/2016/06/15/summary-of-why-the-best-kids-books-are-written-in-blood/

This could be good

"Our ancestors may not have known how to care for their wounded child within, so they transmitted their wounded child to us. Our practice is to end this cycle." https://www.mindful.org/healing-the-child-within/

Change "the script."
https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/3881-maxine-harley/posts/17933-how-to-heal-and-re-parent-your-inner-child

Ways of her excellency to learn from

There is such an excellent cat on the premises. She enjoys her food. She enjoys her laps. She enjoys her spot in the sunny window. She enjoys her spot on a cool floor. She swipes at a sweeping broom.

"Emotional"

People
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fertility-clinic-university-hospitals-failure-cancer-survivors-lawsuits/

:-O :-O :-O :-O

Mamma 1: MY daughter had a C-section. *GRANDMOTHER STATUS* Mamma 2: MY daughter had a RING OF FIRE birth! *GRANDMOTHER STATUS* Mamma 3: MY daughter had twins after IVF. Fortunately! *DOUBLE GRANDMOTHER STATUS* Mamma 4: MY daughter has her period every 2.5 weeks and once almost needed a blood transfusion! *ooooooh noooooo*

:-O

Today we begin the two thousand teens portion of the Lets Clean Up After Our Less Than Conscientious Forebears Environmental Conference:

"WHY DID YOU GIVE MY CHILD A BISCIUT? GO AND FIND YOUR OWN CHILD, BAREN WOMAN"

Very Important

"First you must find a woman who tolerates your question and finds it cute."

~ https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-impregnate-a-woman

She needs more time-lapse blooming flowers

Blooming Daisy Flowers Timelapse

Maybe this is why...

https://www.engadget.com/2017/07/18/study-says-drone-noise-more-annyoing-than-any-car/

I felt like saying, to someone who flew his drone by me too much for my liking and then put it away after I started packing up, yes I did glare at you and finally, after trying to tolerate it, yell at your drone. The noise was not welcome. You are not charming.

And if you were spying...

http://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/20212/1/sexual-harassment-by-drone-is-now-a-thing

Go to hell.

Headaches

"But they're just being kids!"

Probably they said that about you-know-who when he was a kid.

I mean the guy operating the noisy drone.

Oh, the park. I thought you would bring respite.

Kids and ducks

Disappointing children with parents who allow them to terrorize ducks and more especially the female, and the male could have got away but he flew to be with the female.

Sometimes ducks are better than people.

"You'll never know true love until you've joined your mate in spite of the mob."

Out in public

Children who terrorize animals who have parents who don't care.

Life is storm and sea

A story of Hannah Upp

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/04/02/how-a-young-woman-lost-her-identity

Why do you do that.

You should go somewhere else.

Can you tell this child will grow up similar to someone who is made to feel like a freakish monster with a female hormone disorder, horrible cramps, and no children?

Are you going to devalue her and put her out to die on a mountainside?

No, we'll just repeatedly deplete and kill her spirit many times over the years by not providing adequate healthcare and by expressing closed-minded and cruel sentiments about people who don't or can't have kids as genetically and spiritually and morally inferior.

Maybe you should give birth to 100% genetically perfect boy and girl children since that's the kind of people you seem to value so much, as is apparent by your words, deeds, choices and behavior patterns.

ANOTHER TOPIC

In a TV show,  a father who thinks he needs to have A BOY to run the family business  can change his mind.

Times are better

than they were...

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/what-about-the-breakfast-club-molly-ringwald-metoo-john-hughes-pretty-in-pink

And some pictures and things...

On the road  w/ @aflores

"Downside"

It's weird to live in a place where it is possible to so easily traverse between areas of such vastly different income levels on foot.

Elsewhere...

"Buying a home is not usually considered a political statement."

http://www.westchestermagazine.com/Trump-Your-Neighbors-With-This-Waterfront-Greenwich-Property/

Brioche

Women Are Describing Themselves As A Male Writer Would...

That sounds like...

Oooo
https://www.romper.com/p/im-registered-at-babies-r-us-im-freaking-the-hell-out-8523481

Ouch
https://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/how-toys-r-us-succumbed-to-its-nasty-debt-problem

Groan

But I like wandering around gigantic toy stores or knowing they are there to wander around.

http://www.businessinsider.com/why-toys-r-us-is-closing-stores-2018-3

And being able to handle and pick up toys.

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-toys-r-us-toy-makers-20180315-story.html

So many trips to those places.

So. We have a horrible president (who among his many terrible qualities, thinks it's good to rob libraries), adults picking on kids traumatized by school shootings, and giant toy stores closing,

Whereforartthyinnerchildren?

Gaaaah-D

Mmm.

Please forgive me for thinking not my president is the stupidest, most ignorant, most moronic....

https://www.vox.com/2018/4/2/17187900/trump-immigration-caravan-daca-nuclear-option

Ahhhh

Nicole Byer: Bring Me... by K. Gach

This one's pretty good too. 

HA HA HA
"Signed some breasts..." R. Gay

Think I will...
https://medium.com/s/unrulybodies

Where does the brain come up with this strange cooking and chores music

At some point, you will probably laugh...
80s clowns and tightrope puppet (?)


Melissa Manchester - Don't cry out loud

At the same time, add in some Christmas Unicorn!!!

It must be Easter/April Fool feelings.

Ha, grape eggs

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/5948206/parents-hilarious-april-fools-day-easter-pranks/

It's spring!!!

Smartest moments of the day.

Sunday Sunday

Dear Jesus, Do you think it is wicked and awful of me to read sexual misconduct stories on  April 1, 2018, Sunday, your special day.

https://www.vox.com/2018/3/26/17162718/stormy-daniels-60-minutes-trump-porn-star-affair-consent

I feel like there are so many earth people who would not approve of me doing this right now!

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/3/26/17151766/summer-zervos-case-trump-lawsuit-sexual-assault-allegations

So if they would not approve or  if they would think it awful, do you also?

http://biblehub.com/john/8-10.htm

Jesus: No.

It's the first day

http://www.newsweek.com/facing-sexual-misconduct-allegations-trump-declares-april-sexual-assault-867911

Hmmm.

https://www.npr.org/2016/10/13/497799354/a-list-of-donald-trumps-accusers-of-inappropriate-sexual-conduct

April What

"It is certainly not lost on me that the beginning of the month is 'April Fool’s Day."”

https://www.theroot.com/oh-yes-he-did-donald-j-trump-declares-april-national-1824228721

Maybe our president shares this dude's famous "zen" mentality?

“'We’re not concerned. We understand this is a serious subject we’re talking about, but this has to be done outside of our control. It’s something we can’t control,' Jackson said. 'So Derrick has expressed that he’s not concerned about it. I mean he’s quite aware of it, but it’s not keeping him up at night, so we’ll leave it at that.'”

~ http://www.slamonline.com/nba/phil-jackson-derrick-roses-rape-case-not-concerned/

Well they interest me awhile ago I said

Lyrics ;-)

Used to feel like California with baby eyes so blue 
Now I feel like Carolina, I split myself in two 
Now I'm walkin backwards from Chicago through Washington 
Oh but that ain't enough no, you want me to run 

~ Carolina by M. Ward