Saturday, May 29, 2010

A moment of the day

Walking around a big room filled with art after exploring the outdoor world at River Farm, which I had never been to before. And lightly, gently, like a soft voice speaking in my mind, Indian Summer was playing.

The history says, "In 1653/54, Giles Brent received patents totaling 1,800 acres from Thomas, Lord Culpepper for his year-old son, Giles, Jr. Giles' wife was a princess of the Piscataway tribe of Native Americans who had been entrusted to Margaret Brent as a child by her father, a convert to Christianity. She was raised in the Brent household and at the age of 16 was married to Giles, 30 years her senior. The grant of 1,800 acres in their child's name was named Piscataway Neck and included the land which is now River Farm."

Aw

Two cool females that grew up in this area and started doing their thing in D.C.:
Wanda Sykes and Tori Amos.
(I love that "before they were famous" stuff.)
Actually they went to highschool in Maryland though.
Gee maybe I should have gone to school in Maryland... :-D

Friday, May 28, 2010

The first time I heard a certain song

I thought, "huh, did the Stones do something new?" I'd never heard it before in my life. I was positive. So I looked it up.
No, it was far from new. It was old.
I started thinking about B.S., vaguely. I knew he liked that group. I started to think, hmmm, weird, maybe he liked to listen to them like I like to listen to...
And then I had a little internal mini-nervous breakdown in front of a computer. I think I had to leave and hide in a bathroom stall. It was a terrible feeling. It's pretty impossible to remember how it even felt. It was utter isolation. I think the words "blood on the brain" and "not even crochet could save me" came to mind when I was trying to describe it to myself afterwards. What was weird, was, earlier that afternoon I had taken a nap and it was the most blissful thing. It felt like angels touched me and I was in a state of mind that it was impossible to be unhappy. But then...just a few hours later, there was that deep pit. But I still somehow knew I could get myself out of it. I watched the "Stuck in the Middle With You" song and it broke the spell, good thing. And I thought, that may be the very last time I ever feel that bad about anything connected with B.S. ever again...Now it's just a song. It's not like the earth dropped me into a pit.
2000 Light Years From Home.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dear O

Please be nice. Why cause pain? Nice = better.

Gratifyingly amused

By this review! (About John Mayer.) Even though at some points in my life I sort of liked one of his songs. Whatever.
Yay for that!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

Evening...

Oh skin, largest organ, of the body and PCOS. Wonderful reminder to never take "pretty" for granted. (Even just "normal!" Much less "beautiful.") Keyboard of computer, keyboard of "heart and soul"...Read the critical review of the lack of political stand taken in Lilith Fair. Pick up novel. Is it feminist enough? Undoubtedly no. Bookstore lady comes and tells you what a great read, why not buy a copy. Nod, converse, move away, eventually pick up the new book by the author that wrote "Infidel"...On the way back, take sideroads. Cops blockaded the SUV that got rear ended, with liquid gushing out, attended by the strong smell of gasoline. Maybe there should just be other music festivals...

Weirdness abounds

It can be very tedious and difficult to surmount the obstacle of yourself. Truthfully I have probably missed numerous opportunities because I wanted to hide in the woods with a spoon stuck in my mouth.

Friday, May 21, 2010

SUCH a good choice.

It's really terrific that it is possible watch videos about artists talking about their songs...I just heard about one called Zero Point. I'd never heard it before, until just a few minutes ago. I am, though, SO glad that "Datura" is on that album. I've listened to it countless times on the way to places including my favorite park in this area. The other day, I took a photo on my camera of a big painting hanging in their visitor center. It was titled "Datura." I went "Ooooooo..." I checked out the Scarlet's Walk CD from a library. The picture of a slide in it makes me think I might have seen a slide like that out in the middle of nowhere, when I was kid and visited my father when he was stationed in Alabama. This is just like, when you find the author and you want to keep reading their stuff. It's interesting because a while ago I couldn't find any CDs by her. I on purpose stopped listening for a while. Like about a year. Then I looked a few times and couldn't find her CDs. Then I found them again, in an incredibly obvious place--the big CD book album I'd looked through before. Well there was a reason for that...I don't know what it was, but there was a reason.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

In head...

Little Earthquakes
In a bookstore I once trained in and revisited recently, I understood the "Rag and Bone" of "Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart" to be about relics after I saw a book by that name in the religion section, and I thought of Isabella Clara Eugenia knocking one over and normally Philip II, kind and loving (to his daughter) became furious, it's a sort of image I have in my head, not from ever reading such a thing though, and then the poem book opened to this Thoreau poem...Somewhat seperate is to remember the older couple who came in a few years ago and seemed quite nice and amused by me, the opposite of a group of fearful bullies, especially after I mentioned why I saw Los Alamos as a kid. "Thanks for sharing the joy with us!" I was pretty sure General Joy was radiating out of their pores. Maybe not even unconciously either.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Odd

I was looking up stuff about the San Gabriel Valley and the movie Shopping For Fangs came up. Apparently it's set there! Weird. I saw that in Seattle when I was in college and loved it! I talked to one of the guys who made it. I asked where they find their actors. He said, almost apolegetically, "usually a talent agency." Ha ha...I miss being so young and naive...Oh also I asked if it would be possible to get it on video and he kind of laughed as if it were just about impossible for that to happen. Not anymore! Just think how easy it is to get so much stuff now. I wonder what I'd think if I saw it again now...

Unbelievable rigamaroll over stolen paychecks. I can't believe how many people I've been directed to talk to, call, etc. and still no results. Look, I really don't appreciate being given the runaround. Stealing my paychecks is FRAUD. It's not like I just walked into a restaurant and let cash fall out of my pocket.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Wise participant

Circle dance...
(Thoughts thoughts thoughts. I might move. That is simultaneously normal and like going off the high diving board at the park in Saratoga, NY when I was a kid. That was so so so high. Car rides at night, staring at billboards, wanting to grow up, and live a glamourous billboard kind of life? No, maybe just be able to drive the car at night by the billboards and feel free. Would being a certain kind of famous success be like having the cake and eating it too? But I'm not supposed to have cake. I have blood sugar issues. However sometimes I have it anyway. But still. I don't know much, but I know I should spend more time in the mountains.)
Circle dance.

2 ???

Circa 2007. In some kind of order:
1) Working at a restaurant and some guys come up and tell you repeatedly that some guy they know is going to try to "jump the fence" tonight. "Don't let him," they say. Creepy euphemism?
2) Working at the same place and a group of people come in and act like bullies and make weird comments which makes you wonder if maybe they read your e-mail and work for the government. Or maybe they are involved in some kind of media thing? Is it possible to even tell the difference?

Friday, May 14, 2010

Photos

Is it not crazy, to think, of all the pictures floating around on this place we have nowadays called the internet. Yes. Pictures can tell all kinds of different stories. Quirks of personality. It must be a little weird, for example, to walk into a room with big blown up pictures of yourself. Odd. In that case, I guess you should either enjoy it, like someone's giving you a big tray of cupcakes, or take a minute and calm down, maybe have a little spritz of mineral water. Some pictures are more jolly and some are more goofy. I say, can one ever have enough goofy-ish pictures on the internet? Then, of course there is the dark seething side. I lay bricks. this is the look I have when I get obsessed with military industrial complexes. Jackalope!
Cantelope!
Someday I will have the means or fortitude to transfer photos on the internet. For some reason the universe or else my subconscious always gets in the way by putting up little road blocks. Too bad. I love visuals. I did not dream of being a writer when I was little, I wanted to draw and paint and make things out of clay. But then I started reading.

Tanto Tempo

I looked up some lyrics because the song I liked earlier also reminded me of Tanto Tempo.

Ando tanto tempo a perguntar
Porque esperar tanto assim de alguem
Percorrendo espacos no mesmo lugar
Nao sei a quanto tempo estou a te buscar

Num segundo eu vou
Sabendo e percebendo o seu sabor
Sem ter medo estou
Correndo contra o vento sem nunhum rancor

Ando tanto tempo a perguntar
Porque esperar tanto assim de alguem
Sem saber
Sem qualquer medo de ver

Maybe my life...

Could be a little more like how this song sounds...I mean musically, not necessarily the video or lyrics. I have not dissected the lyrics at all. Duerme.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Taps

All's quiet here but I just heard "Taps" through closed windows. Maybe it came from Ft. Myer?
Which also has a website.
Which now also has a page which references RAINN.
~~~~~~
I was thinking about the Watervliet Arsenal. I spent a lot of time there as a kid. On the grounds, playground and at the swimming pool. In fact, when I hear that name, I almost automatically think "swimming pool." I started to look for photos. I found none of the swimming pool I found one of this sign. I thought of how I picked up a book about the history of women and firearms at the bookstore the other day. Swimming pool. Arsenal. Arsenal does not equal swimming pool? How is that so? Did we kids used to crawl on old cannons like they were big toys, or did I make that up?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Special song experiences

Thieves by She & Him was the first one, sounded sad but beautiful, heard in a darkish (not lightless but no artifical lights) room of computer monitors as I updated software....

Later, in the park, I reread some of Caramba! Which I read by the pool last year. I think I will also reread PrairyErth. Both books kind of make me think of hot sun and the smell of cocoa butter or other kinds of sunscreen products.

California Stars was the second one. In Chipotle, thinking about how hard the people behind the counter are working, I worked burrito bar in college, how grateful I felt for my food, and wow do they really put sticks of butter in the rice? and kind of simultaneously thinking about stars (in the SKY) And how at some point in the past I read a book that described a girl getting off a plane in California and being greeted by Hari Krishnas...

~~~~~~
On Mother's Day, played Tori Amos CDs for my mother, the former piano/music teacher, on the way back from Sky Meadows. She said what would be the best if I got one CD? We thought maybe The Beekeeper would be the best. A beekeeper was out there, too.

(Remembering, could almost, by surprise, without knowing or planning on it, cry when describing things, reading a part of a NAGPRA paper to an audience, power point slides as a backdrop, surprise, or describing videos to songs, like one of a girl who is pointing to the sky and her mother is the plane's pilot, surprise, maybe that was halfway to laughing, one could almost, in an unexpected freeing transition to spontaneity.)

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Books

Still reading White Mother...

Yesterday, I carried many out from the library. I almost reread the two memoirs by Paula Fox, but the load was already too heavy. I heard an interview with Isabel Allende on "Studio 360" and it was pleasing to me. Last night a friend brought me a bag of books as a gift. Cheesy teenage beach romance novels, Anastasia Again! and Blubber. He also bought me a ticket to Ironman II. It was better than I expected, though I felt quite sick by the end, and vowed to get myself back to better health. I am so mystified by Crying Wind, and wonder, what was her real upbringing. Also wonder, can I get a hold of When the Stars Danced anywhere? It's not in the Library of Congress. It's been quite interesting to read books and articles about NAGPRA when I have to do things like go to notaries and fill out paperwork to retrieve old paychecks which someone apparently stole/forged.
~~~~~
Hey cool, they are talking about Seattle-area terayaki on "The Splendid Table." I totally remember that after moving to Seattle we started sometimes ordering a strange new food called "terayaki." The guy says it is "working class food." All I knew was that my mother's boyfriend liked it.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Sleep...

I have a headache.
I feel exhausted.
Doors may be opening!
I want to visit a new city.
I have nothing intellectual to say.
Aw, why is everyone picking on J.B.?
I never heard of him before.
I like that article.
The journalist is talented.
I have a minor throat and ear something.
I'm going to drink peppermint iced tea sweetened with agave nectar.

End end end end end !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooooo I totally fried my brain on final exam type stuff. How to be under the wire. Hmmm. Felt kind of good afterwards! Tho I don't know if turning it in so under the wire-like means an A. But I don't care that much. It's just that I DID it. All I've been DOING has been PAPERS and being a STUDENT and its FUN. Now. That. Spring. Semester. Ended!!!! And I got compliments on the beast of a NAGPRA paper I wrote! Yeay. :-) ;-) :-) Oh, still little unknown me. Little lonely petunia...sike! (psyche.) I always thought it was with an s...
Many more thoughts! For another time or post though...
Maybe I will go knit! Jesus I can't believe I don't have to read something!