"Momo (1986) - Ave Maria"
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=03wZ8ue12N4&si=chjmoSDBScyIxLM7
Monday, October 05, 2026
She feels that the Patriarchy has treated women as breeding stock.
"As a Gen X woman, I find your shock over the Cornell 7 endearing."
your_aunt_liz
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6voU9jx9e/?stkn=MXc2cTJ3YmF2cjR3ag==
In her bio it says that Aunt Liz is the mother of two men, so if you don't want to listen to her, it can't be because she's not a mom.
Of course, it's wonderful to want to help people.
People may also have extremely good reasons for not doing certain things quite as fast as the way others may have envisioned or seen the potential for them to do.
Because of course I feel I have to think about this.
I almost wonder if respecting other people's timing (and that includes healing from trauma) is a big lesson that we are supposed to learn on Earth and that this is part of what will make the human race grow and become more compassionate and patient able to treat others and themselves better?
Making breathing better would help a lot.
Grief makes me feel like growth is not linear.
But flowers don't grow straight up and down, after all.
The cold that's causing the suffering is a symptom of something bigger.
I wish I wasn't experiencing this level of grief and sadness, but I really am and I don't know how to cycle through it quickly. Maybe it's not supposed to be cycled through too quickly or something. It's just so sad. If I try to think about it, all I can feel like saying is grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, grief, over and over again! Something has to be learned from the grief if it's sticking around like this. I don't know if I can even do very much about it right now.
Maybe pray that angelic energies that are wiser and see more and can help us more will help us as soon as possible. I don't know how I got to feeling the sick with grief. I wish it wasn't happening. I'm sure I can do something to help myself somehow.
It can be good to learn more about people who seem to have have led very different lives from yours.
"The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1123976.The_Family_Heart
I think this writer is a good observer of herself and her family's coping mechanisms, and I think that that's kind of rare.
Sunday, October 04, 2026
It's been an evening of pain management. Oh my gosh.
Please remember that it's not necessary to be too rigid and follow strict timelines for the people who are dealing with really significant health challenges because that's not their priority right now.
I think I might take shower number four. After the Vicks Vapo Rub again.
πππππππ
Pain is really intense and demanding.
I need to focus on my health because there's a lot of upheaval happening and women need to figure out what kind of feminism is going to be best for them and for their health because it's not going to be the same for everybody. It's going to be different and it's going to change at different times.
I feel there's wailing like banshees and grief and yelling at some boys for not knowing better. It's a lot of grief. Its like a flooding river. A lot of grief. It can make the body get sick if you're not careful.
Trying to get more to make the pain go away.
Because it hurts so bad.
People want coziness. They want to be cozy by the fire, you know, in their Castle. They want coziness. They don't want to be so lonely anymore. They want love.
They also want breaths of fresh air and cleansing winds and good changes. They want a bigger view. They want to expand. They do want to open their hearts. It's just hard for them to do it sometimes.
People in dark places can still get access to brightness from the light of angels.
The reason why the universe has me think about things like Beatrice and the Italian. Renaissance is because she was a channel and she was gifted but her gifts were not entirely corralled or channeled in the proper ways. But she was a channel and she made a lot of those things happen even though it made it look like the men were making the things happening. She was actually making a lot of the things happen and that's why after she died things went so badly and she was also like a go-between and a diplomat. It did curtail her spirit to be forced into childbearing I think. She loved her children but there was a not enough freedom for women in that time and she was supposed to follow what a bunch of bossy people were telling her to do. Also consent was not important.
For some reason I'm seeing something about dunking my head into a bucket of water. Maybe I should try and do that. Maybe I'll just go stand under the shower.
Poor aching face. Let's have water pour on that face now. Maybe it will help some things loosen up.
She was more sort of war-like than the ladies around her because she had a lot of energy running through her and she had a lot of responsibilities and she was also very young.
People did not take good enough care of their health physically. They did not listen to themselves enough about taking care of their health physically. It was very like rough time to be alive.
But even with all that there were times when they were really emotionally calm and connected and they channeled and there was a lot of creativity and there was communication with a higher source and spirit in God and God and a higher source and spirit was trying to work through them to bring good things to Earth. And they did bring some good things to Earth but physical health got sacrificed.
And that's why a part of me likes to do really quiet domestic things because it's part of like a health plan. It's good for the nervous system and for balancing energy. If you've got a lot of energy running through you, doing quiet domestic things is a nice way to call me yourself down.
If I feel pain and if I put my hand on the area and ask a question it might help.
Castles were very angular places to live and they were not so comfortable in a lot of parts of the castles and there were a lot of people who were living in fear in the castles.
However, they were starting to make good changes in some ways and there were some people who were starting to get happier because creativity was placed in high regard.
There were problems with communication. There were big feelings that didn't have words to go with them and so the big feelings were felt but people were too scared to express them and put the feelings into words and this includes the people in charge and how they communicated with one another too.
Love was real but so was fear and propriety led to dishonesty. Beautiful gifts and clothes could not make up for rifts in communication. People were often encouraged to keep their mouths shut instead of exploring feelings and this is the same as what goes on today sometimes too.
Those kinds of circumstances make emotions go wild like animals trapped in cages. People start to get desperate. Jokes and jibes and little glances. But because people felt very oppressed and like they needed to keep their mouths shut, it prevented communication from flowing and it affected the dynamics and made it so that things were not as harmonious.
People tend to have a rebellion against doing what is proper because it curtails their spirit. And then they start to get left out and start to feel heartbroken because they know they deserve better but they don't know how to express it or a really believe that they deserve better.
Sometimes looking at patterns like concentric circles helps people calm down and feel more centered in themselves and then they're not quite as inclined to lash out at others because they get very centered in themselves. And it's in a good way.
Royalty and pageantry can still be celebrated if it's not misused and if it's to serve the collective to bring people joy.
And now sometimes I want to go away from that and I want to think more about the people ice skating on the pond in another century. Where there was more equality, for those particular ice skaters, anyways.
Another round.
I put my hands on my face and I got that Kings are very lonely people and they feel in the dark a lot emotionally. So we don't really need Kings. Kings are very lonely people. Sorry about that, Kings.
I tried it again.
This time when I've put my hands on my face, I got girls screaming about Cornell in the too bright light. They're screaming. They are really, really screaming.
Very painful.
I put my hands on my face. I asked for a message.
Too bright light contrasts with dark castle dungeon.
Trying to figure out what has to be healed about that stuff.
Sometimes you can't figure it out right away because you don't want to know.
This is very rough especially on my face for some reason.
I'm having a lot of issues with grief and pain in my face today and I really hope anybody who feels called to heal something inside of themselves will please get on that right now before they get physically ill and in pain.
πΆ Repetition πΆ
"Purple People (B-Side Version) (2006 Remaster)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lf-RdvLu3sk&si=A7O-DG5-WbsepyRh
πππ§πΌ♀️⚓π π¬
"Pandora's Aquarium"
Tori Amos
I just need to figure something out that will help life feel better today.
My face really really really hurts right now.
One might ask why some are wanting to continue these conversations more?
nigel.tatum - they are disgusting, but they are not all "creeps" or the "usual suspects"
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeDQlBbu1mz/?stkn=MWppOW1oMWVsbXpqcA==
Interested in the planet being happier.
"Y'all have been in my DMs"
newemergingking
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeFERTFxrrk/?stkn=ZXcxdGpobHluZjF6
Really...
Later or tomorrow I'm just going to try to watch a very weird movie or show, when I have the stamina. I think it might help, somehow. It would be funny and interesting.
Siiiigh...
I think it would be easier to be an old guy from the 19th century sitting around with a pipe in his mouth sometimes.
For some reason, I'm thinking about the only time I ever met a woman who worked as a model and a movie extra and she was kind of like normal looking but also pretty and very height weight proportionate and she was a mom and then later I heard that she got separated from her family and had mental illness issues and might have become homeless??? She was a nice suburban mom. She was nice to me. I looked up to her. She had worked in movies! I was very young. She was younger too. She was probably in her late thirties or something.
It's just catching up with thinking about how things are evolving.
I just feel like thinking about figure eights and how Thoreau could skate on a frozen pond with friends. And his healthier moments.
I still would like to watch some shows and films but...
I have a sort of lingering flu feeling and I don't want to today.
'Purple People (B-Side Version) (2006 Remaster)"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lf-RdvLu3sk&si=A7O-DG5-WbsepyRh
πππ§πΌ♀️⚓π π¬
"Pandora's Aquarium"
Tori Amos
https://youtube.com/watch?v=s9JSGABVd3k&si=6wlPAc6zDttPy5JR
So music's much better for me right now.
It's the President of the United States.
"Hey, do you want to know what a what a convicted rapist has to say about the Cornell 7?"
"I don't know, do I?"
"Speaking of holding your boys accountable"
"We functionally have legalized rape in this country."
"Dozens of men were in that group chat."
MonteMader
https://youtube.com/shorts/fRxYaYuqXHU?si=l1RQIWLlLylAwUUI
"We functionally have legalized rape in this country, cause what's the point of having the laws if they are never enforced? They are never enforced. Especially on rich white men."
Hallelujah! Praise the angels! πππ»πΆππ
Paul Schwartz - "Ave Maria (soprano Rebecca Luker)"
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=HGNnKRXsZlg&si=ray2AvkXbeQkvooe
I really enjoyed watching this one; the music was set to the scenes from some sort of Korean drama.
"Stairway To Heaven (μ²κ΅μ κ³λ¨) Opening Credit"
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xkSlDl9I59M&si=Y99nfoyivKjKaKkN
Oh my God, I am actually starting to feel better.
You are so f***** up. You are such a f****** little peon of the f****** patriarchy. I cannot stand what a peon of the f****** paychecky you have trained yourself to be and I am disgusted and that is all you need to know right now.
Of course you probably need more than that. Of course you probably need healing practices and whatnot, but the most important thing you should know is how disgusted I am and you should stay away from me unless you heal yourself.
So stay away from me unless you heal for yourself because all you're going to see is a girl crying and throwing up.
Actually not even a girl now it's like a middle-aged person with graying hair crying and throwing up.
Oh is that not what you asked for? Too bad!
I don't know. Go fix your own problems or something.
Honestly, I think I am going to feel better in the future.
Maybe even a little bit right now. Yes, maybe even a little bit right now. Oh God! Can it really be so? Can I really feel better. Can I really? This has been a truly terrible morning. It's so bad. But okay we can get better now. It's going to happen. It's really going to happen.
Maybe it'll be a lot better really soon.
Maybe I'll be able to feel a lot better really soon. Oh my God please let me feel better really soon. Please please please please please please please please please. Please tell me what to do. I mean really I am asking the higher healing source. Please tell me that was supposed to do to help myself right now. Please please please please please.
It's real sad you know
Got to at least like release toxins and poisons and stuff. Oh Lord, what a time. I'm dying. I feel so awful. I want to get better now.
Date yourself. Make yourself some tea.
I cannot believe these assholes who are responding to certain societal situations by trying to sit it out completely ignore it, and then on top of it all, you're supposed to know exactly what they were trained to expect of people who are expected to date somebody like them. Oh my God go f*** yourself
Wow! I felt even worse in the shower. I feel better now that I'm out of it.
"If I wanted to shorten my lifespan, I'd date you."
~ Judy Tenuta
At least the water is my real friend! π
ππππππ
And the broth with garlic in it. You horrible horrible horrible brothers!
ππππππ
I'm really really really really really done.
I'm going to take a shower. Water is a cleansing element. I just can't deal with her nonsense anymore. It's not going to happen. I just cannot deal with their non-sense anymore but I do have to help myself because unfortunately my body is very sensitive and it gets very ill very easily and I don't like that and I need to help it so I got to go.
ππππππ
Nothing compares to the broth with garlic.
Nothing compares to the broth with garlic...πππ»ππΆ Idiotic albatrosses!
I kind of hate my brothers. Anyway, here you go. Manly men singing a nice hymn.
"How Great Thou Art" | Official Music Video
My body gets fed up with people sooo much faster than my mind does.
Jesus, to wake up this way. My favorite thing in the world is just the broth with the garlic in it and that's it. I don't care about anything else right now. Never finished watching the movie last night. Needed sleep more. What a ridiculous life.
Or not, do whatever you want. Do some healing work; that's probably for the best.
Even if I look at zero content of a certain subject matter today, people are still going to be making it out there. And do you know why they're going to be making it? Think about why they might be making that stuff. Think about why you're bad at processing this b******* right now. Think about it.
Actually, I'll probably be very nice.
I'm doing my nice broth with garlic for myself, though. You losers!!!!
It's stunning, honestly.
They're like a dysfunctional family. I got to get the humor flowing now too. I do. I will do anything to help myself stand back. Stay out of my way. I will do anything to help myself. You've been warned!
But remember just be nice to your body. Don't get too dramatic.
I can be nice to this body. I can be nice to it. I can be nice to it. I can be nice to it. I can be nice to it. I can be nice to this body. I can do it. I can do it. I could be nice to it. Let's be nice to this body. This poor little body who's always so empathetic and always so suede and sensitive and etc etc. Let's be nice to this body right now. Let's just be nice to this body. Who cares? These guys can just go f*** themselves right now. Let's be nice to this body right now!
Take care and find yourself something nice and brotherly to do with yourself today! Agape yourself.
My tolerance just got real low this morning.
But I love love love love love love love love love. Love the broth with garlic in it. Love love love love love love love love love love love love. I'm going to listen to The Beatles now. Love love love love love love love love love love love love!
You better figure out how to help yourself right now.
You're not my nice healing broth with garlic in it.
That's right. Let's get you mad at it. Come on. Let's get that throat chakra working.
"You done f***** up son!" There's so much that's going to be collapsing. Get ready. You're welcome! Glad to be of assistance again!
Who knew it would come to this?
I really love that I made myself some broth and put garlic in it though.
Oh well. Get through this, and hopefully get healthier.
Oh well, this is what happens when illusions fall away. Take care of your body as best as you can right now.
Those guys are not going to help me at all.
You help yourself. That's the best you can do. I feel so sick right now. I can't believe my body is doing this to me. I have got to do something good to help with body right now.
You're breaking it down too.
You poor old sad man! Too, you're breaking down the patriarchy. You're already doing it. You don't even know it yet. I am not going to indulge your ego anymore because the universe won't f****** allow it. Probably you won't even allow it. Probably you don't even want me to.
No, I do not want this gnarly cold. I want to get well.
Sad thing is, I know I'm not the only sad one.
I can't bear it anymore.
"Overcome Grief & Sadness | Find Consolation & Inner Peace"
I just can't anymore.π
Oh God, help me and help my body heal from their myopic versions of success and their deranged alliances with the most insensitive supporters of patriarchal nonsense. I can't deal with these stubborn people anymore! I can't make excuses for these people. My body is breaking down right now. My body will throw the protest for me. My body will override everything. I need to heal π!
I need higher guidance help for real.
I woke up feeling sick like coming down with a cold sick. I don't want to go anywhere today. I really really need to help my body heal and get better. I need angels to heal my body now.
I'm also really sad and I'm also really really angry because I'm also done making excuses for certain kinds of men and other patriarchal people who got trained to be insensitive assholes. So selfish, myopic and sexist. I cannot deal with their immaturity one single moment longer!
Saturday, October 03, 2026
The world's feeling different lately.
The brotherly friends from other times are going to help me and I will make them look good for helping the feminist one!
Faithfully reporting.
Watching the film Hamnet now. Only watched a little bit of Cornell 7 content online after dinner.
I'm excited about getting to try some wine that I wanted to try when I was in the other, more well-established wine country.
In a rare instance of a work shift ending before restaurants close, I'm going to use my birthday money to take a man out for his birthday (at a restaurant I chose but I know he will enjoy.)
Of course we know "The Rules" are not going to apply almost ever...
"What do you think of Fein / Schneider's book..."
Did you know the history of how the University of Cambridge started?
"Some larger context..."
Hari Kondabolu
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6xeQOu14Y/?stkn=MTI4ZXJ5MmtsczB6MA==
I'm taking the unplanned route.
I went to this fun little one-room schoolhouse that's not normally open most of the year and then a big train got stopped on the tracks and blocked me. And now I'm taking a long route and it's the same area I was driving around back when I was thinking about some Thoreau / Emerson type stuff in the winter months. Kind of weird.
Gosh, well, I'm sure I think things will get better.
I feel a lot of anxiousness and illness feelings right now. I really have to take care of this right now.
Plans are always changing.
I planned to go somewhere this morning before it got too hot since there's a heatwave, but as soon as I got in the car anxiety made me turn it around. So now I'm staying here for a while and taking supplements and flower essences and otherwise seeing what my body prefers to do instead. Also there's this weird thing going on with one of my on the upper left side so I have to take care of that now.
Dusting off the two-month-old ukulele right now.
Don't forget to tune it!
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow Iz Ukulele Tutorial Easiest Version"
JJMilare
I think it might take about two years.
Currently estimating that some people's friends will be better at behaving in ways that are a little more empathetic and compassionate towards other people's children in about two years, just based on some simple observations.
Earlier I was listening to a sound bath created by a woman.
Here's a sound bath created by a man! Not all men are... whatever. The Cornell 7. I guess.
"Brain Massage - Vibrations to Lower Cortisol (1 Hour)"
@HealingVibrations
This is so nice to children!
"Activists are pressuring Buffalo corporations to kick ICE out of the office building where it is imprisoning children."
By Derek Seidman , Truthout
Published October 3, 2026
"A Growing Movement Is Working to Evict ICE From Its Buffalo Command Center" | Truthout
This guy has more videos about how messed up fraternities are.
"My fraternity used hazing to reward obedience"
themutualman
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9sjddvLKL/?stkn=MTFuNnd3YWs5b3M4aw==
Have things gotten weird?
"Maybe the rage was never the dangerous part."
cozychaosrebellion
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeAqNcwvzxy/?stkn=MW91dnA0OGxxMWlpcA==
"This study is so ass."
nathan_ing
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd_itLKRBIR/?stkn=bzFjMzE1dmlxbjhi
"We're done."
c. b. runko
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd_v1s0uj-k/?stkn=MWV0cjBpeTkyODQ5NA==
"In case you are a person with a brain"
toninagy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6vFUjvb4f/?stkn=ZG40YXJ4c213YWc1
I like how this one can make a cortisol surge in the dark hours feel all danceable and stuff.
Billy Joel - "Pressure (Official Video)"
How about those Epstein files?
"In case you are a person with a brain"
toninagy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6vFUjvb4f/?stkn=ZG40YXJ4c213YWc1
Watching both of these again is great for my mental health in these pre-dawn hours.
"Sometimes math is hard."
toninagy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9Y3q9y3UJ/?stkn=MTA4NGdxZXlpdWt3Yg==
"How I healed ππΌ"
laurenoflove
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd_x-sUsJzV/?stkn=MWt6emw4bmprc3J5Zw==
Oh come on you guys. Don't make me older sister! Why???
I cannot tell you how much I think surviving or trying to help someone else survive the aftermath of a gang rape, a violation of your body in the worst way, torture that happens for hours, is different from recovering from somebody cheating you out of some money. As much as I'm sure that probably hurt! It is not the same.
I feel that I feel that
"Flughafen Tempelhof"
By Beth Ann Fennelly
https://www.americanacademy.de/berlin-journal/flughafen-tempelhof/
AND
The "My Indiana Muse" documentary
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UdVy3t6ZbAk&si=X_jUyhJK_V6IIqYd
pair quite nicely.
It's just so impossible for everyone to succeed or fail in the exact same way.
I don't ever hear about podcasters pressuring people about how to succeed in life by holding up Anne Frank as a role model, but she's been very influential!
Julia Jacklin - "Pressure To Party (Official Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CZFyqzTCt-I&si=wDsQ08HrUmXEDVx3
Billy Joel - "Pressure (Official Video)"
Friday, October 02, 2026
This evidence of the posthumously influential one.
And the Vicks VapoRub and the Herbert Rowbarge book that I'm taking forever to finish.
I can always look up the Transcendentalists when I need to feel more grounded!
I also have Vick's Vapo Rub, the collected works of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Lucy Maude Montgomery, and a cat that's whining on the other side of the door so I am going to let her in.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CatsBeingDramatic/s/bvUQBW2QGL
Sages on their stages! Don't forget to sage...
"The customers will tip better if you wear makeup and the boys will find you a much better dinner companion if you don't bring up rape."
I'm going to drink my sage in some blackberry herbal tea and go back to looking up my digital oracle card workbook.
I got my headache today after I tried to look at both MIT Technology Review and Times Literary Supplement. It was a lot.
But then my chickpea cookie dough recipe helped.
I think these are both still fun songs to listen to, sometimes.
Charles & Eddie - "Would I Lie To You?"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=G_UXvcr22rM&si=gnGY4e7SxQIrQyrV
Siouxsie and The Banshees -- "Kiss Them For Me"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ij6mFkZU8T4&si=_t83qn7PbmM0T9Qi
Yours in friendly solitariness.
I just know this is really important. It's a pivotal moment in the history of human rights.
"My fraternity used hazing to reward obedience"
themutualman
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9sjddvLKL/?stkn=MTFuNnd3YWs5b3M4aw==
"The fact that none..."
custom.made1968
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeAln3UOR1G/?stkn=ODUwNWlzdXpsODcw
"How I healed ππΌ"
laurenoflove
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd_x-sUsJzV/?stkn=MWt6emw4bmprc3J5Zw==
This recipe was my helper today.
"Chickpea Cookie Dough Recipe" - Mama Knows Gluten Free
https://www.mamaknowsglutenfree.com/chickpea-cookie-dough-recipe/
I made it with sesame seed butter (tahini) and date sugar instead of brown sugar, and dark chocolate chips, so it wasn't as sweet. When I went to the store, I honestly didn't feel like buying anything sugary because I could tell my body preferred the chickpea cookie dough to any of the desserts that they had in the store. But I did want to buy berries. And apple slices? Yes, the pre-cut slices I never would have bought when I was younger. But I've been tired and I have a weird front tooth and I don't like biting into full apples. So for some reason I felt like buying the pre-sliced apples was what I needed.
I also believe there are people out there who want to help.
However, they do not know how, and sometimes the situation is beyond what they can do, but they can offer prayers so that the person who is wrestling with the complicated situation can find the ones who can provide the help.
Lots of changes are needed πΆπͺ·π️πππ»π
I'm going through a rough patch and I know that U need to learn how to be better at accepting the healing gentle energies. And I don't need to prove to myself that I'm tough enough by watching a film that traumatized me when I was younger. These are silly things that I created in my mind because of our culture encouraging us to surmount tough obstacles and whatnot. My body is what I need to listen to the most right now. Sometimes my body is going to give me a far more information than my mind can, and then I have to ask the universe to help me know what to do with this information, and that's what's happening right now. Maybe this is why music helps some of us so much.
Sometimes goals change...
I did some reading, and got sleepy, and now I have a headache. I no longer have a goal of watching that film today. But perhaps some other day.
Goals...
I feel like if I stay nice and calm I might be able to finish that movie today. The one that's been unfinished ever since I was in 8th grade. But I don't know yet.
Actually my body needed the healing music more today.
Healing music playlist plus a workout out on the floor in a compassionate environment π.
My internal organs sometimes disagree with whatever is going on with my brain, and they think that I need more of the healing music.
This could be a step towards treating yourself better, too.
"Justice for Jane Doe"
blckbrdquitter
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd-EXUlBwHS/?stkn=NHhraXFtbTJpYW5j
"It's so easy to forget."
elazie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9rV_mzDNN/?stkn=YTdpZ3RpZjNjczFq
"If you can't feel anger and empathy"
chuckforqueens
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9kCfRvdk9/?stkn=NGd5emEzMnJ0NDdr
A person, and not a quota.
"Wouldn't it be sick to be a person"
jordanjensenlolstop
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9eQr7gdDR/?stkn=MWs3NzBncWU4bTh6aQ==
Oh the humanity! Oh the quotas!
When some people act like they can't be bothered to care about horrible things happening to human beings, it reminds me of Nazis because right now I'm thinking about how the mother of Anne Frank's step sister (Eva Schloss) who became Otto Frank's second wife was recalling her time at Auschwitz in one of her daughter's books. She said that at one point, she was put in with a bunch of other people who were about to be sent to the gas chambers even though she wasn't supposed to be in that group, and everybody was freaking out and they knew they were all going to die.
But for some reason, she was able to keep her cool and when she had the opportunity she calmly told somebody in charge that she wasn't supposed to be on that transport, and the person in charge actually believed her and took her out. Then, the senior person scolded the other Nazi person who had put her on the transport. So she kind of saved her own life. Meanwhile, the two female Nazis bickered with each other, and the less senior woman was whining that she was just trying to meet the quota!
Oh the humanity, and you would think we would have been better than this by now!
Maybe this will help...
"Overcome Grief & Sadness | Find Consolation & Inner Peace | 396 Hz"
Inner Lotus Music
Grieve and be inefficient about it.
Grieve. Who needs to be efficient for the ruthless machine that is the carelessly violent and sad Patriarchy?
Things get very flowery on pages 24 - 25.
"All around the porch the lilac bushes were in bud, with just a few blooms among the branches, so that their delicate scent reached us only when a breeze picked up, but I remember the smell of lilacs in conjunction with Stephen's words, and the combination was such a generous offering in the mild weather..."
'The Family Heart"
https://archive.org/details/familyheartmemoi00dewr
Perhaps they're just a very caring family. Going through a certain situation, in a certain era of time.
I read page 21 at 1:21 so I feel I have to share.
What a drastic mother!
"I wandered up and down the stairs, in and out of the rooms, trying to reconcile all the disparate parts of our new situation. Finally, I made coffee and sat down in the kitchen. I had only managed to conclude one thing; I had decided we should move to San Francisco."
"The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew"| Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1123976.The_Family_Heart
Mind you, they're living in big two hundred year old house in Massachusetts. But now that her son has come out to her, she feels she must move the entire family to San Francisco.
Stephen must have been a very special son.
"Our house is sometimes very large and other times overcrowded. Locally, people often refer to it as big, sometimes as huge, but a friend of mine from Charleston, who lives in an antebellum mansion, summed it up as 'cozy.'"
That passage is on page 14.
First grade boys who liked to play with their cheese and crackers packets...
Would have had a lot of fun with Nutella & GO!
Sooo easy to pay attention to, but sooo difficult to actually fix any of their problems...I know something about those types of brothers.
I found a new one. She's just a misunderstood little child in this.
"Judy Tenuta (2/15/89) (RIP Love Goddess)"
Thursday, October 01, 2026
What could prevent that from happening again?
It's very next level to go to the next level like for instance to wonder about the circumstances that created the situation if you suffered...
It's time to restore humanity's faith in humanity's decent qualities.
"Wouldn't it be sick to be a person"
jordanjensenlolstop
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9eQr7gdDR/?stkn=MWs3NzBncWU4bTh6aQ==
"I was rolling around in my head just how many high profile men are abusers"
mysterenygma
What a variety of dreams I have had.
The best one was about saving cats, because I got to pet cats and tell them I love them. The guy who was supposed to be helping me save the cats was being super flaky and non-available though. I was very frustrated about that part but I was hoping that he was going to come back soon. Another dream was just about a bunch of throw up being all over a hallway and needing to clean it up. A mother figure in that dream said she didn't mind. I repeated the phrase after her. I didn't mind.
Now I feel very hot.
It's time to take my special hormone balancing supplements, which I've gotten kinesiology tested for, and I get retested for. But I neglected to take them this morning.
I feel like "How had we not noticed and been offended by it before?" can apply to lots of things.
"Wow. Listen to this. This IS a thing
love.ismyonly.energy
https://www.threads.com/share/BCLmx3jiPX/
...
@allisontaskcoach
@morganstrehlow
...
"Interpretive dance"
karen_elizabeth67
https://www.threads.com/share/_22dLajiD/
"The wrong people are being detained. This is Trump's America."
kikimaro
To be "relentlessly chipper and incurious" is an old pattern of behavior that's been passed down as a "safe" survival strategy, but it's actually not.
And also, the pastime of watching sports!
"Stephen must not have known what to do next. Charles and I were relentlessly chipper and incurious over the few days following the day he told us he was gay. We didn't ask any questions at all, apparently less interested than if he had told us he had read a good book, and I don't remember that Charles and I even discussed these new circumstances with each other.
In the evenings we sat with books before us, but we didn't read; it requires reflection. We watched any sports we could find on television. There was no refuge in anything else on TV, because we discovered right away that, in 1991, the most innocent of sitcoms almost invariably had a passive but definite anti-gay agenda. Trotting out a stereotypical gay man-- although rarely ever a lesbian-- was apparently always good for a laugh. Or at least it filled a little time in those generally mindless scripts. How had we not noticed and been offended by it before? We watched a lot of baseball."
~ Robb Forman Dew
Page 15
"The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1123976.The_Family_Heart
I'm reading the physical hardcover book I bought for $1, but I might have to put it down and tend to the headache if it gets worse. I also read a bunch of online stuff earlier.
I definitely want to watch this new East of Eden series.
"It's been adapted by Zoe Kazan, who spoke of her wish to approach the source material in as 'personal' a way as the original author, John Steinbeck, did. And that's the thing about historical fiction; texts written long ago, at a time and place we no longer have any real comprehension of, can still speak to us on a visceral, relatable level.
For Kazan, there's a very specific and unique connection. The 1955 film adaptation of East of Eden, perhaps the most famous on-screen depiction of the story starring the late Hollywood icon James Dean, was directed by her grandfather Elia Kazan."
~ Laura Jane Turner
"Florence Pugh is phenomenal in Netflix's East of Eden"
https://www.digitalspy.com/tv/a73924186/florence-pugh-east-of-eden-review/
What about all of the conversations people can start having with blades of grass and acorns and trees?
Kind of fun to think about solitary, unprincessy Thoreau sometimes, though.
What was normal yesterday? Might not be as normal today or tomorrow.
"There are men making reels like this one"
claritywithclint & callifindingjoy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6dp_BRp-l/?stkn=MW40NTNqYjQ0N2Fudg==
"I didn't expect my son to get emotional"
driven.byjamie
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6Y238MFSU/?stkn=ZHVoZHczMzd6aDBt
Right now, this is some of what's happening because great harm has been caused.
"Oh, and by the way"
rey_philosophy
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd8D2srR9v9/?stkn=bnMyc2J2c3N2eHFh
Wednesday, September 30, 2026
The cat is a good creature.
I felt like my ego can't deal with how flawed I have decided to look for hopefully some higher purpose to serve the greater good and now my cat has decided that I am the best person for her to purr on and cuddle up with now. Maybe I'm here to help the cat ladies of the world. There's a lot of them.
I kind of feel like I did well enough for myself today.
I feel compassion for my younger self who was already in the middle stage of life and didn't know what to do and was looking for healing and community.
Tonight I was just by myself and I went to the Disneyland of pumpkin patches, and on this particular day, I could get in for free because I was a local. And now my curiosity is satisfied. I didn't feel tempted by any of their food because I had chocolate cake in the middle of the day. And I walked around for several hours.
I actually think I have more peace of mind now than when I was younger. And remember when I went to an event featuring Amma, the hugging saint. The entourage that was with her seemed not very friendly, so I decided I was only visiting their community. But I remember thinking I just don't know what to do or how to feel better.
Sometimes I would go to a free meditation class, with optional donation, and I actually felt like going to this class was helping me preserve my sanity. A lot of traumatic stuff was happening. But even there, the guys in charge would sometimes make these weird jokes. And I noticed that some women in the class would look at each other and frown, and I didn't really care for the jokes either. I was thinking things like, I'm trying to heal from some very serious stuff and you have to ruin the peacefulness with your joke even though you have all this wonderful meditation knowledge.
But some sexist humor was coming through even though the meditation man was with a spiritual girlfriend. But it's possible that somebody else talked to them about it or else they picked up on it psychically because then at another subsequent meditation session they were confessional and shame-faced about the sexist thoughts they'd had in the past. They said that when they were younger they used to look at women as makeable or not makeable, and then they realized that they were not well in looking at women that way.
Well, that was a long time ago but I was thinking about it lately. Even as I was walking around the pumpkin fair with my thoughts. There were some very young people on dates and two couples at two separate places asked me to take their picture. I'm kind of glad I looked like a safe person to them.
Back to my thoughts about the meditation guy, back in 2009 or so. I remember when he said he and some friends were on retreat and then they went out to get an ice cream cone and the sound of police siren went off nearby and they were in such a strange state of mind that they ducked under the car dashboard to hide because they felt like they were going to get arrested for indulging in an ice cream cone.
That was a funny story.
Way to take the edge off the end of another long work shift when you've hit rock bottom during that financial collapse in the 2000s.
Polyphonic Spree ~ "Light and Day ~ live Kimmel"
I skipped ahead to another section.
She also gives a very non-sentimental account of childbirth. Oh, this book is going to be good for me!
"The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew" | Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1123976.The_Family_Heart
Just it opened my impulse, I mean, I just opened my impulse purchase.
And they are talking about this song!
Duran Duran - "The Reflex (Official Music Video)"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=J5ebkj9x5Ko&si=5I9JGqJe4usk2W58
I'm going down corridors to childhood today.
Today's impulse purchase.
Cost two quarters and five dimes.
"The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by Robb Forman Dew"
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1123976.The_Family_Heart
I think it's because it's from the '90s...
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