It seems like a good one for tonight.
Martha Reeves and the Vandellas ~ "Nowhere to Run"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RQRIOKvR2WM&si=wrg1-33b0-MdVWJG
I really am so grateful when truth that was hard to reveal comes out, and yet it also means that you need time to process stuff sometimes.
Imagine getting to a very low point where your nervous system is completely fried and you can't work and you're trying really hard to heal and it feels like the system is set up so unfavorably and you're having a hard time getting access to therapy because it's too expensive on account of the how the health insurance has a high deductible and such, but then you find this place where you can do somatic work which seems more healing than talk therapy.
I mean, it's not something other people can understand if they haven't gone through a similar experience, a nervous system fried to the point where you couldn't work and you had a hard time leaving the apartment and you almost could not do basic tasks, and there were very few places you would want to go, but then there was this one place that you looked forward to going to most. And then it turns out there was the secret hidden abuse going on there, too???
But now, there's truth and there's clarity and there's much better knowledge, and that is great. And things are truly better now. But still, it's just so mind-blowing to know that when you thought you were somewhere that was like a safer haven and a healing place for you, others were suffering in ways that were not completely out in the open.
And there is also that "oh yeah there was that time when things felt weird, and that other time, too." But of course, you didn't want to think anything bad was going on, because there was so much else that was good going on. And if you thought, maybe my nervous system is just extra sensitive and now there's a lot of processing of information going on...it's good to take some time to process these things.
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