I still don't know why it does that

It gives back pain. It makes me think of decades passing by. Men sitting on couches eating and watching sports games. Women in the kitchen. Certain women suffering too much. Other women ignoring the woman who suffers and sucking up to the patriarchal system because that is survival. Some of these systems still exist. It feels as if a female who does not fawn all over the male "leader" figure is almost useless in certain circles. Why does it repeat. Someone with different ideas could have been worth something but so many indications were given that she was not wanted. What was wanted was something else. What it caused was pain. Different ideas were not welcome. It's a burden, now. It would be optimism to say "It will get better."