I was walking on a beach in the dark in what began as a bad dream, and I made this this crying out noise either to try to scare off a predator or maybe call out for help, and some footsteps came around me and then a kindly, gentle feminine presence was there. It was definitely kind and not like a selfish patriarchal man or woman who has to act like an insensitive jerk in order feel like he or she has some kind of superior status over others.
Cults are cruel. They are not good for the mental or spiritual health. If you can tell that you would rather go to a medical OB-GYN appointment that causes pain and blood because at least there they act like competent and somewhat caring professionals then hang out with people whose vibes keep them acting like assholes, and it's making you feel sick to try to accommodate them, that's a sign you need boundaries and you don't want to be in their cult. Their cult is not for you. Hopefully they get healed in the future but that's not your job right now because your job is to set boundaries and not be around these people. Sometimes that's what you learn from insensitive people, that you're not supposed to be around them. There are other kinds of people who are better for you.
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