Some very unhealed people (both men and women) have been trained to be so terribly disrespectful to certain kinds of people (including many kinds of girls and women), but since they did what was encouraged by their society and attained other markers of external success, they want to stay the same. They don't want to change.
This year, more than ever, I have needed to recuperate from the awful, dreadful knowledge that they essentially got trained to serve the patriarchy and will choose to discount or abandon others in their confusion, to continue on with the ways they were taught, rather than change.
This makes them seem both terribly hard-hearted and woefully insecure at the same time, but they don't want to deal with healing their own psyches and their hurtful prejudices. (Perhaps they can't admit that the patriarchal society got to them like that?) Change does not seem to be what they welcome, even if it would benefit them, too.
And I was trained to think that I was supposed to follow these people and go along with them, even if their ways are actually unsafe and a threat to my health. This body feels like it cannot trust them anymore.
Sometimes waking up with this knowledge is difficult and feels very hard on this body. I have to give it time to recover, and I have to give it permission to have more access to healing energies now. I want to welcome good change into my life now.
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