Surviving a rough time as are others in their other kinds of ways.

I think my body is trying to tell me that healing is more important than everything else, including protesting, and maybe I can try to explain something about why, besides the fact that it's my body telling me that, because other people's bodies aren't telling them that, maybe. Well, we have different genetics and different experiences.

I decided to order a copy of "My Place" by Sally Morgan to own because something about this book really was good for me to reread right now, and part of it was not just about the author discovering her Aboriginal heritage, which was probably the main point of the book, but also how she witnessed her father and the suffering he went through. 

"My Place (book) - Wikipedia"

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Place_(book)

Her father, the privileged white man of the book, suffered so much and he did not live long because he suffered greatly from PTSD, and I think his PTSD was not only from the war but also his upbringing and his failure to be able to be the "man of the house" the way his Society expected him to be the "man of the house."

Her father was the least powerful and the least important person in his own house and he did not feel good about it at all. He was lost. And the medical community really failed him. He was a veteran and he struggled and he suffered a lot. He was also a very difficult person to be around. He was alcoholic and his PTSD made him borderline dangerous, but he suffered greatly, too, and I can see that he wanted to be better and he just couldn't get the help he needed. 

So sometimes when I see the suffering that's going on now, it seems a consequence of the privileged ones being duped, and there must be a kind of suffering that goes along with that. Like once you have everything, once you have all the things that Society told you that you were supposed to have, and you still aren't really fulfilling your whole purpose as a person, that's another kind of suffering in and of itself. 

Now, there's a lot of people who don't suffer as much as her father did in that book because they're not World War II veterans with severe PTSD and they don't have horrible flashbacks and they're not put into the hospital for huge amounts of time, and yet they may be operating at suboptimal levels for themselves even though they are successful in the eyes of society.

It's that thing that has been said before: " Hurt people hurt other people."

People have to be brave to be able to face things in this realm sometimes. We have to go down different paths than the ones that were trod before by others.

I'm going to keep going towards the healing path. It really seems to be my only choice right now. But everyday is new and an opportunity for new doorways to open both externally and internally.