Instead of "My father figures and I still stomp on women and girls like you mercilessly so we can fit in with the others"

Read a valuable $150 book. Why not? The Joy Division band which became New Order read it.

"House of Dolls" | Ka-Tsetnik 135633 | Sixth printing

https://www.boo-hooray.com/pages/books/5178/ka-tsetnik-135633/house-of-dolls

And a man wrote it! That's really helpful for you to know.

"The House of Dolls by Ka-tzetnik 135633"| Goodreads

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/771394.The_House_of_Dolls