Saturday, July 06, 2013

hello d my old friend

oh dreams, and weighty meanings...
From fanpop
The Graduate - Sound of Silence/Scarborough Fair
I had an interesting dream a while back and I feel like it's actually gotten a little bit depressing not to write anything about it. But first, I feel like talking about vacation.  A few weeks ago, I was in a motel and there was this movie on T.V. I didn't feel like watching, but, as in many cases, person I was with was being entertained and not bothered by the gratuitous masculine violence, etc. and so, even though I somewhat voiced my disapproval, I let it slide and then it was over and I went to bed. The next morning, I was sick, sick, sick. Icky things about life and the world were getting to me and it was hard to make it stop. Another problem I'd been having was waking up and being excruciatingly thirsty.  I wondered if I had food poisoning again but I didn't think so.  I tried to listen to meditation music, but it didn't seem to be helping. I was just able to drag myself out of bed and get into the shower. Ohhhh...the shower. HOT WATER IS THE BEST. I took one after another. And I did either child's pose or the mecca pose and let the water hit my back. After the fourth shower, I was really doing a lot better. I also decided I had to stay in the hotel another night (no traffic to face in the evening, and the opportunity to take more showers!) and said I would pay for it. I also said "NO violent movies for me before I go to bed." Now I can say something about the dream. Not long after I saw the film about "the bride" getting her revenge, I had a dream where a blond psychic woman wanted to talk to me. She said "He is a person with a lot of integrity and the people who work for him are very happy." She wanted to make sure that I knew this. I feel like it was an interesting and useful dream. Sometimes I think I have interesting ideas and stories inside of me but I don't even know if I want to deal with them, at all. Maybe sometimes I can see that another person is great at something and can get their ideas and stories out into the world. But if I am in a certain place, to me, it's as if their stuff feels like it's laced with peanuts and unfortunately, I become like one of those people with severe allergies. Or, like the grandma in the supermarket who just wants to see nice and happy things. In the words of the estimable Ricky Martin... es la vida que culpa tengo yo...  If I get in a certain space, I only care about being able to function. In that space, in that moment, what I need is just to see/feel the energy of a cheesy, light-hearted Hallmark card. It depends on the situation.

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