I feel thankful that I got depressed instead of some of the other alternatives.
Wednesday, December 04, 2024
Tuesday, December 03, 2024
Also, thanks F. Scott Fitzgerald.
I'll just accept that toxic positivity is another expression of human fragility for some people.
It just still seems too careless to be sustainable.
"They were careless people..."
"Among the Ash Heaps and Millionaires..."
https://lithub.com/among-the-ash-heaps-and-millionaires-how-the-great-gatsby-changed-the-landscape-of-new-york-city/
Also, some of these people used to act more like they cared about civil rights when they were younger.
I think it would be more impressive if people who are extremely comfort-oriented could also act like they believe that "People having civil rights is also extremely important to my comfort and therefore it's extremely important to me that other people have civil rights."
I actually think toxic positivity is also dangerous.
I feel like the toxic positive people were the kind of people that just let Nazis take over Germany, and they just ignored what was happening to others. Because "Let's just be positive and let's just ignore those types of people and let's just focus on ourselves," is the survival strategy that some choose, but I don't think it can go on forever.
Maybe I need to find a different way of being positive
Like, I can love the beauty of flowers! I just don't want to do the toxic positivity that excludes others too much and ignores their situations. I really don't.
I would like to be more positive, but the toxic positivity thing just feels wrong to me and then it's like instead of being that, I would rather be more negative.
But then, people are sure that being negative is not the most healthy thing. So then,what is more healthy? Because the toxic positivity I see, where you have to exclude others in order to be positive, is just not feasible for me.
It's just, it's never going to happen that I can adopt that as my way of life. I'm just not wired that way. I can't do it.
I am sure that there's room for improvement in all areas of life, but if I am to be more positive in outlook, I know can never be like that. I just would need to find a different way of being positive that does not seem so clueless and insensitive.
Some people have basically told me things that are sort of like this: "Look, other people just aren't that sensitive to others. It's not like you have to take it personally. They're just not very sensitive people. They just don't care about other people that much. They don't mean you ill, they just are not wired to care or to have a lot of empathy."
But I do think people tend to get more sensitive and there's more sensitive people on Earth now than there were in any previous generations.
Oh well. It's time to go to sleep. Think about something else. Think about flowers and stuff.
Too mean, again.
Acting like racism and sexism and prejudice do not exist for other people just so you can feel more comfortable in your life is not kind. It feels like there are people who could have been more sensitive, and when their vibes still say "We have been so blessed and fortunate to be able benefit more from going along with the mean ways of exclusionary patriarchal white supremacy than others did," it makes me feel like that's still just too mean and dehumanizing, and like it's beneath them, and they could have been better to themselves as well as to others.
I guess in the '20s, America had to just show us how mentally ill a lot of its men (and some women) were.
"Trump insisted, in one late campaign appearance, that he would be a protector of women, 'whether the women like it or not.' The vice president–elect, J. D. Vance, was revealed to have personal disgust for child-free women, whom he had described as 'cat ladies' and 'sociopathic.' He’d also, on one podcast, affirmed that the entire function 'of the postmenopausal female' was caring for grandchildren. The super PAC founded by Elon Musk, who has shown great enthusiasm for personally inseminating women, released an ad referring to Kamala Harris as a 'C word.' (The ad, which was deleted a few days later, winkingly revealed the C to stand for 'Communist.') And on X, Musk himself reposted a theory that 'a Republic of high status males is best for decision making.' The former Fox News host Tucker Carlson excitedly compared Trump’s return to office to a strict father coming home to give his wayward daughter 'a vigorous spanking.'"
~ Sophie Gilbert
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2025/01/america-misogyny-gender-politics-trump/680753/
Just kidding, I'm sure it's like, way more complicated than that, ha-ha...
But seriously. What if some people were put on Earth just to make cats look really good?
I actually have grown a lot as a person in spite of my aversion to toxic positivity.
Or else my hormones have gotten more balanced by black currant seed oil?
Because I have noticed that I don't have nearly the amount of panic attacks I used to.
And that's pretty darn impressive.
I will confess now.
Sometimes I read positive stuff and then I just post negative stuff anyways because I feel ornery.
Dear comment, fancy meeting you after I just bought apple butter today.
"Food in the Japanese Internment Camps of World War II"
~ Tasting History
Well, at least this song from the grocery store likes me lately!
Charles & Eddie - "Would I Lie To You"
Extremely discriminatory against boys and girls...
Honestly, the women and men who are still discriminating against women and girls so much just because that's what the patriarchy wanted them to do are being so extreme!
It's as if the culture which was so bad for the girl children was also bad for the boy children.
"Redlands youth church leader sentenced to 175 years for sexually abusing boys"
It's just sad.
Being traumatized is not a good excuse for discriminating against other kinds of people.
What perpetuates extremism?
Sometimes I wonder if it's not actually the people who are flagrantly drawing attention to themselves with extreme acts who are perpetuating extremism.
But the ones who are pretending everything is fine while they are still addicted to being xenophobic in other ways...maybe they are the ones who are also perpetuating extremism.
And the sad thing is, they're just afraid.
They're afraid to have conversations. They're afraid to be around people who are too different from them. They're afraid to face the things that they're afraid of.
Why does the patriarchal culture make some feel that they have to discriminate against other people in order to preserve their sanity?
Addictions to old behavioral patterns are their lifeline, or their survival strategy, but how could it go on forever?
It can't.
Discrimination does not behoove you or your country, or make you more patriotic...
"DACA recipients worry about deportation..."
https://apnews.com/article/daca-legal-challenge-trump-immigration-23f3b6204bd11d672c67ec60f19c3937
Perhaps conversations have improved.
"Does she feel the world has improved, generally, for women in the 30 years since RAINN began? “No,” she says bluntly, before adding that there are “places for women to reach out to that were harder to find back then”. On that night in 1994, there was nowhere “to direct that young girl to, and that was the motivating factor, being so frustrated … So I think when we ask if things have improved, I think there are services that have improved, but the fact we’re looking at an administration whereby there seems to be almost a gender apartheid happening, and where misogyny is common practice … I just didn’t think, after the last four years of the Trump administration, that women would have to face this again.'"
~ Kira Cochrane
"Tori Amos on trauma, Trump and..."
I have the strangest pair of songs in my head.
"On The Robert E. Lee (From 'The Jazz Singer' Soundtrack)"
~ Neil Diamond
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-wef9IzAIag&si=MIOL2BvSIJNGAVyL
&
"Cab Calloway: 'It Ain't Necessarily So' on The Ed Sullivan Show"
Let the healing begin?
"Tori Amos breaks silence on allegations against longtime friend Neil Gaiman"
Maybe some of the people who weren't getting along so well in November will find better ways to communicate by Christmas.
"Addams Family Values (1993)" - Wednesday's Revolt
An anecdote just came back to me.
"'Oh,' she said. 'I wish he were ours!'"
~ Geoffrey C. Ward
"HERO OF A LOST CAUSE" - The New York Times
https://www.nytimes.com/1981/11/22/books/hero-of-a-lost-cause.html
"Mort Kunstler: 'Oh, I wish he were ours!'"
"Emerging Civil War" ~ Sarah Kay Bierle
"Robert E. Lee V: What it’s like to carry around this name"
~ Mike Semel
This reminded me of some others' "Chicken Little" references.
Did he really used to be "a right-wing lunatic" several decades ago?
"In Triplicate" | Revisionist History | Malcolm Gladwell
This was good jigsaw puzzle accompaniment.
“I Was A Stranger and You Welcomed Me” | Revisionist History
https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/revisionist-history/i-was-a-stranger-and-you-welcomed-me
They definitely deserve better!
"Data shows female veterans disproportionally struggle with homelessness"
~ Nicole Griffin
This is real!
And so cute!
"A doggy back ride"
~ catscutevidz
https://www.facebook.com/reel/578730961291542?sfnsn=mo&s=F5x8gs&fs=e&mibextid=Mk4v2M
(HA!) universe
"When you're spiritual..."
~ Kaydinn King
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1058809528954149?sfnsn=mo&s=F5x8gs&fs=e&mibextid=Mk4v2M
Monday, December 02, 2024
What if the era of "property, money and even health insurance are no substitute for actually having a purpose in life" is coming upon us.
I kind of almost wonder if America could begin to lead the world in highlighting the importance of healing and repairing fragile wounded masculinity?
Why not go to therapy and rehab for your country?
"Hegseth’s reported booting from both Veterans for Freedom and Concerned Veterans for America raises further questions about his suitability to take the helm as Defense secretary, a position in which he would oversee the country’s largest federal agency that employs more than 2.8 million people."
~ Ellen Mitchell
"Pete Hegseth forced out of vets groups due to drinking, misconduct"
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5017946-pentagon-pick-hegseth-misconduct/
How chauvinistic and self-absorbed you have to be to still think that Trump and Hegseth are actually good for your country?
"Pete Hegseth's Mom Calls Him 'Abuser of Women' in an E-mail"
Reflections on a pleasantly full stomach!
You know why you never have to be jealous of someone who can't work due to anxiety? (I learned this from personal experience last year.)
When you can't work due to anxiety, it's not a vacation. It feels like you're having a really long, bad day at work but it's happening while you're staying home in bed, trying to get back to a comfortable place in your mind, and in the meanwhile you're earning no money and going through your savings in the process.
You feel steps away from being homeless and dying in a gutter because just keeping your body alive is the best you can do.
It's f****** awful. So you never, ever have to be jealous of someone who's too anxious to work and still gets to have someone pay her rent.
Like, I was in the past, but now I know better.
Even if you're really exhausted at your job at which you don't make enough and you have to leave and get your feet taped up and then come back to finish your work shift (I still can't believe that actually happened. Do you know what else I wonder? I never paid a bill. I thought my insurance actually covered it, but now I wonder if either my stepfather paid it or the podiatrist forgave it, because I never got any sort of bill.)
I got a song in my 💗
Who am I talking to? Am I talking to you? Or to ghosts? Or Missy, that older girl who got hit by a car and couldn't walk but then a miracle occurred and she took her faltering steps in front of the congregation? Or anyone else from a weird cult-like church I attended when I was four? You know, you can always go read somebody else if you don't like this nonsense. Maybe you should go read the most enlightened people!
The song is:
Charles & Eddie - "Would I Lie To You"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=G_UXvcr22rM&si=qzrwgQRF1dIMQ7Cv
It's like the kind of song you would hear in a ShopRite.
I've got to go grocery shopping!
Song found! Composer, children's choir, and professional performance.
"Song of the Stars with intro by Imant Raminsh: Coastal Sound Children's Choir"
~ coastalsoundmusic
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZSRUtPSfNoA&si=FT70ljZ7h4shlnlH
"I. Songs of the Stars" (by Imant Raminsh)
~ Vancouver Chamber Choir
https://youtube.com/watch?v=dWovOXLiQGo&si=yMDFnYmvawutQq6p
Remember, you're a thoughtfully curious person.
"Why Does America Feel So... Bonkers?"
~ Lost In the Pond
Ugh, not now Cynical Voice! Press the snooze button.
"52 examples of unhealed sexual predators that democracy-destroying dads and misogynistic moms will love! It's the hottest new card game to reinforce 'family values' since that time the oppressed relatives sat around playing Old Maid and bonding by making fun of those liberal people who don't like it when Native Americans are treated as sports mascots!"
They're so happy for them...
For real!
"Newly sworn-in Mexican president takes part in Indigenous ceremony"
She's so happy for them...
"Mexican Presidenta"
@rescuista
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTYA7RAWo/
Hmmm.
"Why Does America Feel So... Bonkers?"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Hwo4-xbJykM&si=noKfh64JuDKtDqe-
'Tis filled with stubborn folk who are easily brainwashed and need therapy? Just kidding, it's more much nuanced...
I feel grateful to the universe of healing.
I still need to heal more, but I have improved. Thank you, good universe. Thank you very much.
Sunday, December 01, 2024
Maybe I'll feel better soon.
I really feel sick and I really want life to feel easier in this body now.
I have two violets! I must make use of them.
"Hildegard von Bingen’s Violet Wine" — Tasting History
https://www.tastinghistory.com/recipes/violetwine
"Eat Like a Medieval Nun - Hildegard of Bingen's Cookies of Joy"
Don't forget to thank the God of Farmworkers 😇🙏🏻🕊️
For the high levels of Gamma Linolenic Acid in Black Currant Seed Oil!
Thank you, universe of healing and goodness.
I am grateful. I struggled, but I have improved. I still have a ways to go. I may be a slow learner and not eat well enough for my picky body, but a human being will find ways to get better. And we are here to learn how to be more forgiving of ourselves.
A Covid Mask of Carols?
Just kidding. This is a beautiful song.
"Balulalow (A Ceremony of Carols)" - Benjamin Britten
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WSV_g0ETvOg&si=cg7rgu0zB_LFJxkF
'Tis the season for Olde, er, actually, that's probably Middle English...
I need to pray for better health again.
I couldn't go outside today. My body was too exhausted again. Which was weird, because I managed to go outside yesterday. It's almost as if I got Covid, but never got a positive test result that said I had Covid. Exhaustion from recovering from a long viral flu is a thing, too?
Has your brain ever been addled by hot dog values
X: Do you think this is better than a hotdog wrapped in a toasted tortilla
"It was for the kids okay (old video) #cookwithme"
@ayomadelyn
https://youtube.com/shorts/se97RtmKSA0?si=L3H7veNZvVGvCjMz
Y: How long did it take her to make that
"Addams Family Values (1993) - Wednesday's Revolt''
I might try to make something like this!
"Potato Stacks" - PlantYou
https://plantyou.com/potato-stacks/
Or this???
"French Boulangère Potatoes" - The Frugal Flexitarian
https://frugalflexitarian.com/french-boulangere-potatoes/
What about this???
"POV: Cooking (Probably) the Best Potato Dish in the world"
~ Fallow
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-Z3P_NujFos&si=rSGklQP8JKXuOZMP
Hmmm....
"What was life like for ordinary Victorians? Historian Ruth Goodman explains"
~ historyextra
"Naturally, scurvy is something to be avoided."
Vitamin C: it's not just in oranges.
"What was life like for ordinary Victorians? Historian Ruth Goodman explains"
~ historyextra
https://youtube.com/watch?v=5Ncn_LoAQXk&si=Hwu-UL3uDjDZYG5Y
I suppose we better find the people who are going to be the best at picking potatoes if Trump deports all the illegal migrant workers.
"If you don't pick those potatoes, cell phone service is cut off!" the Patriarch barked at his youthful, obedient brood.
You must travel to the Irish neighborhoods to find the people who truly appreciate the potato.
🧅🥕🥔🍽️🫛🧄☕
"What was life like for ordinary Victorians? Historian Ruth Goodman explains"
~ historyextra
https://youtube.com/watch?v=5Ncn_LoAQXk&si=Hwu-UL3uDjDZYG5Y
The Victorians wore many layers!
How well it all looked put together was determined by social class...
"What was life like for ordinary Victorians? Historian Ruth Goodman explains"
~ historyextra
Maybe.
I'm just trying to reach across the aisle to the nice white guy who doesn't like liberals and who has to pay for his children's phone bill and health insurance because they don't make enough to support themselves at an early age like he thought they would and that's why he voted for Trump.
This quote is such a product of its time...⏳.
"The relationship between waste and wealth can change how we read the last comments Nick offers about Tom and Daisy: 'They were careless people,' he writes. 'They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.' We are still cleaning up that mess. In many ways, we have not even begun."
~ John Marsh
"Among the Ash Heaps and Millionaires..."
This might be quite fun & educational to watch...
Too!
"What was life like for ordinary Victorians? Historian Ruth Goodman explains"
~ historyextra
We do understand that many people have been feeling oppressed.
"The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart | @sarah_smarsh explains that Republicans had a more effective campaign strategy connecting with their supporters economic pain"
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_smarsh/
Even the people who don't suffer from a raging anger about all the rampant racism and sexism in society can get to feeling oppressed sometimes.
"Jon and @sarah_smarsh
discuss how ignoring class in identity politics leaves many Americans feeling unseen, opening the door to harmful divisiveness."
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCWn7Bfpnze/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I was feeling really blessed recently.
I know I am not nearly as depressed as some people are right now because I had genuinely positive moments and interactions with humanity yesterday, and that felt like such a blessing, but I just chose not to feel like writing about them last night because I am also still super preoccupied with being really mad about the blatant rampant misogyny.
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