Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Sex

A kind of average brother:

It was really hard, but I just shoveled three perfect holes out of the ground.

A kind of average mom:

Oh my precious talent! So proud of you! Everyday I am overjoyed I gave birth to a son. Look at those biceps! Here, have a glass of milk.

A kind of average sister:

I shoveled 3 holes too. They're not as perfect looking, but that's because I had to babysit a hamster while applying eyeliner as I held my shovel, and I skipped breakfast because I didn't feel good and now I'm also hungry and tired.

A kind of average mom:

Are you seriously whining about hamster-sitting and eyeliner? When I was your age, we had an anteater and a sanitary belt to contend with. And it's your own fault you didn't eat breakfast. Mind the carbs, by the way, you know those add extra weight. You won't get anywhere if you don't learn to improve your attitude, missy.

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