Love of learning pulled you to explore more about new areas. It was good at first. Even if little things bothered you here and there.
Who wants to learn and grow?
What incentive do they have to do so?
What's in it for them?
Some people expect you to be fine with a culture of bias. It hurts. They don't want you to tell them that. Instead they want you to confirm a certain worldview back to them. When you won't do so, they send back a message. They won't look into your eyes. They seem insulted you expected more out of them.
Somehow, some grown up men act like children who get a twisted pleasure out of being crude and degrading. It was unnecessary.
Women who have to echo back a specific point of view in order to survive or thrive in a certain environment don't have incentive to help a person who gets disconnected due to not fitting in. They don't want to be that outcast one. They want to fit in to succeed.
Even today...in 2016...people electing a bully who degrades women with other women cheering him on..
A sick feeling occurs because of what gets communicated. Others chose to devalue you just because you were not buying what they were selling. You couldn't buy it. You didn't have the means to buy it. It wasn't healthy for you.
There were some who would not or could not or chose not to try to see... It just got warped somehow. What do you do after that?
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