What sis sent

Virgin of Guadalupe calendar

holiday music

Have been able to snag Living Voices "Little Drummer Boy" and White Eisenstein's "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." But what of the special versions of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and "Mary's Boy Child" that I haven't heard in years? Wonder if those could be more Living Voices versions on LP somewhere.
Piano in home off and on over the years, which I never learned to play except a little bit of: "In my own little corner, in my own little chair..." and
"You are sixteen going on seventeen..." Was never a great tempting object to practice on, as now I think it should have been. Sigh, oh sigh. Piano in storage until owner on opposite coast gets a bigger place to live in?
Little Christmas Tree Waltz...(once there was a green glass or ceramic replica with little colored pieces to poke into holes and then plug it in to light it up)
Pine Cones and Holly Berries...What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
New this year: Winterscapes Radio

Plays with voice

Heyyy...gente rico!
Riiiicicisisisisimomomomo.
Mo mo mo mo mo mo mo m...
Wassup??
Whaddup.
What is up.
Paparazzi.

Like this

I just do.
Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

Good to listen to at one a.m.

Alas, am disappointed my favorite calendar (SageWoman) has been discontinued.
But this is a beautiful station to listen to, during the holiday season, in a somewhat strange (being neither East Coast, nor Midwest, nor Pacific Northwest) place, while revising some writing.
WinterScapes Radio.
(Well, at least it is when there's not an auto insurance commerical!)

Picture of a woman

Somewhere around about 1999-2001, I think, I found a magazine article with a photograph of a woman and saved it. At the time, the picture did seem to exhude a kind of saintly feminist quality, which was odd and compelling. I felt I had to know more about her, someday. After moving around so much, I don't think I have the magazine photo anymore, but I remembered her name. Now she has a biography:
Tillie Olsen: One Woman, Many Riddles.
The picture was from 1944. A smaller version of it is in the book.

Hooray, Hooray

Sometimes I do the google images thing.
Shirley MacLaine and Tori Amos.
Personally, I like it. Screw this women are supposed to look barely legal all the time thing. (Ahem....Killing us softly...video I want to watch in more depth soon.)
Ms. Amos is a fantastic, brilliant (yes...) musician, good for her, too.
Ms. MacLaine wrote books I devoured as a youngster and is awesomely talented (acting and dancing) and thinks she was Charlemange's mistress, good for her.
Thank heavens people like them exist.
Hooray, Hooray...I like that Rilo Kiley song/video too.
~~~~~~
Oh and hee hee...from here.
MacLaine: "It's very easy to be cynical like you are just now."
Wallace: "Skeptical. I reject the word."
MacLaine: "Well it had a panache of sarcasm in it."
Wallace: "OK, OK."
MacLaine: "A large dash of it."
Wallace: "Yeah. You really believe that you've lived lives before."
MacLaine: "There is no doubt in my mind about it."
Wallace: "Uh-huh. And you really believe in extraterrestrial ­ have they ­ do they come and visit you on the porch? Now you're being unpleasant, Wallace, is what you're saying.
MacLaine: "Yes. This is what I was a little afraid of."
Wallace: "Hold it!"
MacLaine: "Now, you don't have to be that unpleasant. It doesn't become you, you know? I mean, I'm just speaking of my own experiences and my own desires, and it's a kind of a childlike wonder that could really possibly speculate on other dimensions. What's wrong with that?"
Wallace: "Shirley, what the heck has all this got to do with singing and dancing? I mean this seriously."
MacLaine: "Because it's expression."
Wallace: "As we sit here and we talk, and it's ­ it's fascinating, good talk, and then I think about those long legs."
MacLaine: "Nothing wrong with lower chakra stuff at all. It's all part of the (same) body."

Stuck-in-head song

Today: Brett Dennen-Make You Crazy

Because my finger accidentally hit "b"

"Men often oppose a thing merely because they have had no agency in planning it, or because it may have been planned by those whom they dislike." --Alexander Hamilton

(From boogle.)

Film revelation

A show about All Good Things.
The director said he broke an unwritten role. (Rule! I meant to type.)
The unwritten rule in Hollywood is that you never cast the actress first, because the man is always assumed to be the more bankable star.

Songs

Sometimes the songs that creep into my head (and stick there) surprise me. From the other day: Beautiful.
And didn't stick, but noted as newly discovered: Oh Mother.

Moreover

There was a refreshing walk.
Multiple cats on a porch, playing, inviting trespass.
Multiple garden gazing balls surrounding a home.
Cloud formations and sunset.
Words on houses.
"God Will Provide"
"In God We Trust"
Orange trees, lemon trees, and
tops of palm trees resembling giant prehistoric pineapples.
(If such things existed.)

Knitting

Several things.
All in garter stitch.
One is with "Pooch" (boucle) yarn.

Some things

Certainly can exercise to any type of music. Sister's e-mail: Worried about unit mission. Father's e-mail: A few 4 star generals are known. Maybe they were in his class or now are on the e-mail prayer list. Who knows, perhaps they were at a childhood BBQ. For some reason this is more strange to ponder than the talk of the unit mission. Before: Celery and Greek yogurt and cayenne pepper. Good for digestion. After: Leftover broccoli salad, even though it was not that appetizing. Wolfed down in nervousness.
How many army brats are or aren't food wolfers? Could be an interesting study. One day there was a confession, tough to make. Hard to admit, when earliest years were spent waiting for the voice that read the books on tape to return from a foreign land, and objects like hard green hats meant for combat were beheld with love, and vowing to be...all you can be...
Confession: could probably never be in that profession, would probably collapse in a ball of shattered nerves.
Confessor's response: I think you're gonna be okay.

Tuve una idea

Send all the girl-books to prison.

On mind

Seaside
Anything I happen to currently know about crows and ravens.
Like how much bigger ravens are (it's shocking), and that crows are said to hold little "funerals."
Also, at the end of a documentary that was recently on TV, it said that 50% of female homocides are due to domestic violence! 5% for men.
Maybe also Starling.
And then Fast Horse...
Etc.!

Some thoughts on Dante or maybe the anti-Dante

Say you followed a person once
to help yourself make a work of art.
There's many ways to look at that,
but there can be this way:
You wanted moon-gazing innocence.
Yourself in another incarnation.
The followed one was only
one tiny facet
of She who is fairly large.

Reading and listening

I'm reading this book and it's funny because it addresses the topic of why do high schools almost always assign depressing books (like Lord of the Flies.) I have spoken with a friend or two on this topic. We remembered one class where the teacher tried to mix it up a little by having us analyze "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire." I have been thinking of it because some job applications ask if you got good grades in high school. In my case, the answer is, not really. But I went to college and grad school anyway.
I am beginning to avoid this book's characters and their poisonous marriage. I am making myself read it, but really only skimming. Sigh. Sorry, book. Might be better to read it later.
Again, The Garden (i.e. Berimbau remixed.)
Sometimes I listen to songs repetitively, it is true.

New kind of tea

Lemon Basil Oolong.
It's rather strange, but also good.
Finished True Notebooks.
Have begun Shadow Tag.
More Tombigbee...

&, &, &

Lost In Place &
Equal Pay&
Lost Sparrow&
Tombigbee

It's like, on a roll or something

The Paycheck Fairness Act did not pass yesterday.
"The clientele are all men," the job interviewer said, in a dream.
In the course of looking for knitting techniques, stumbled upon Jr. High Student gives her teacher dating tips.

On last night

Quite awesome.
Secrets of Stonehenge
And, a little earlier:
Singing Hound Picnic

Girls, girls

A dancer attracted some comments. Someone whose channel was full of aerobic videos and make-up tips was very insulting (i.e. calling her a slut and a whore.) Another person said she thought the dancer was "amazing" and that the one who was being insulting was doing that because she was jealous. I went to the channel of the one who liked the women's dancing. On her channel, this little girl dancing was featured, and it is really the cutest thing I've seen in a very long time. So thank you, commentators, (even you, misogynist one), 'cause the end result was a very cute surprise!!!

Things to learn about the world

I would like to see this documentary: Afghanistan Unveiled.
I have also learned of this: Nowzad Dogs.

Return to yarn and needles...

Sweater Quest.
Enjoy the inclusion of "quest" in that title.

Film about female soldiers

and combat, and life before and after~Lioness.

Lizards on the brain

Scientists discover unknown species at lunch buffet(!)
Cascade Experiment by Alice Fulton.

Casa de Jefferson

"Because of financial constraints and Jefferson's endless tinkering, Monticello never looked its best or even close to it. In 1802, when a Mrs. Anna Maria Thornton came to visit, she was shocked to find she still had to enter across wobbly planks. By this time Jefferson had been working on the house for over thirty years. 'Tho' I had been prepared to see an unfinished house, still I could not help being struck with...the general gloom,' Mrs. Thornton marveled in her diary. Jefferson himself never much minded the inconvenience. 'We are now living in a brick kiln,' he wrote happily at one point..." (296-297, At Home.)

Let's try to think positive

The system = scary. Yeah, Virginia. And it's attorney general. Frontline: The Confessions. Bullies who force false confessions do nothing to prevent violence against women. Funny, but now I remember a few things. One: someone who worked in a restaurant with me, a nice enough person normally, completely disgusted me with her views of on rape and women who "dress a certain way." She was training to be a police officer. I shiver. AND, when my paychecks were stolen from that job, I tried to go to the police department and talk to a police officer. I remember she pretty much acted as if she thought I was lying. Tone of voice, facial expression. Is bullying a special skill acquired in that job? It was a yucky experience. To be fair, I also talked to some officers on the phone and they were nicer. In the end, they could do nothing. The only thing that got me those paychecks back, 6 months later and far away from Virginia, was:
1) eventually the bank analyzed the signatures and determined forgery and possibly 2) the people at the company headquarters had a little more ethics than the people I worked with at the actual restaurant.
~~~~~~~
And now. Postive things!!!
A) The sheer joy I felt one night at a cute little place on this coast, listening to a band called Waldo Bliss. (They had a beautiful female band member, too, who is not on the website.) I was the patron of a good-seeming establishment called Gypsy Den, not an ill-treated employee. The music was so lovely. I felt bliss!!! And gratitude.
B) This is good stuff: Tina Frundt, award-winner, Free The Slaves.
Gracias, gracias, DEO GRATIAS...

suuuuuuu

What would a whistling sound be?
Whistling Diva.

Attraction

Encountered another female human.
FH: Did you go to the back? Any bears?
M: No! Have you ever seen a bear?
FH: My brother did! I kept telling myself to quit worrying about it, because that just attracts stuff.
M: I went in the woods a ways and I decided I had to go back, because it got to the point I wasn't enjoying myself.
FH: I need to be like you. I don't need to go to the back tonight. I'm just enjoying this walk here. And it's going to get dark soon.
M: Yes, it gets dark early because of the time change.
FH: What time is it now? Oh. Yeah, I need to go back. Well, thank you.
M: Have fun!
FH: Thanks! I need to meet a bear like I need a hole in my head, right?
Attracted another person with similar worries.

Programming

The lighter hearted stuff turned to war stuff and it came to me...
The way they treat their troops is the way they treat their children.
Maybe not on purpose. But so it is.
It's not a good way to treat a child.
But they were children once.

Songs of recent yesteryorn

Recently heard a song by a band called Warpaint. (Female band, cool!!!) Undertow. Well, I'm not so crazy about the video. I do like some shots in it. It has interesting parts but it kinda seems unfinished. I'm no expert on making music videos, but it also makes me think "this video could benefit with the addition of some older people in it," for whatever reason. I enjoy the song. I heard it on the radio shortly before descending down a trail into a canyon. And some people are not crazy about remixes of Nat King Cole, but I've found this Re: Generations album grows on me. For one thing, it livens up the housework (and that's awesome!!!) I was wroooong...
~~~~~
From about 20 years ago: Sadeness, Captives of Time, Melusine.
(Sigh, I cannot find the book cover I recall and prefer, of a brunette girl standing in tall grasses, with a serpent shaped path trailing behind her.)

Varieties of experience

Neighborhood(s). School(s). Homelife. Proximity to extended family. Relationships. Moving. Staying. Language. Race. Religion. Finances. Food. Clothing. Sex.

and then, and then, and then, and then

Hoped to have selected the proper spelling of "necessary," remembered the book that got written by a teenager, saw she wrote another one, pondered the name of the character in that one and searched for Bjork's "Isobel." Wondered if Amo's "Bachelorette" was like Bjork's.
(It's not.)
Bachelorette.
Books books books books books
Not superior to walks in the woods.

Inspired a frenzy of house cleaning

Bill Bryson: At Home.
The Study chapter.

History's interesting

We Shall Remain: Trail of Tears

Silly

I gave in and read this article.
Gasp! Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl"...
It was all over the MTV channel the babysitters loved.
Oh my little first grade mind!

Memories of B.

FIRST GRADE
1) B. is the kid with the cool motorized dirtbike. A real one. He rides it around the hills behind our apartment. We are the same age. Enviously, I watch B. ride freely on his bike, and talk a little to his father, who has long hair, even though he's a man. He tells me something interesting about the formation of the thin rocks that break cleanly and easily off the hillside. Perhaps seeing the look on my face, he asks if my mother would let me ride B's bike. I go and ask, but she says "absolutely not!" I report this to the Dad. He looks like he feels guilty for even suggesting it. And maybe he even commiserates with me, verbally. It is interesting to commiserate with an adult.
2) I go into B.'s apartment and meet his mother. She might be an artist. They have a cat. I tell them cats aren't allowed in the apartments. She laughs, says she knows, but they keep the cat anyway. I am shocked.
3) J., an older girl, teases me about B. She saw us holding hands. That means he's my boyfriend, she says. I disagree. I don't think holding hands with a boy means anything more than friends.
4) B. and I are playing and I begin to stare at him and tell him I think he could come from a spaceship, like maybe be a martian or something. He doesn't really like it, and I don't know why.
SECOND GRADE
1) We have moved away from those apartments and live in a totally different town. I am shocked when B. shows up as the new kid in my second grade class. One of the first things he does is draw an apple with a diamond in it, to indicate shininess. Me and some girls think it looks really cool. Boys make fun of it. I think they should not make fun of B. But B. doesn't particularly seem to remember me.
THIRD GRADE
1) B. and I are in the same class. We have to work on a project. We argue over something, and I stab his forehead with a pencil, "on accident." He doesn't like me for doing that. The teacher also disapproves. I think B. is being a little bit of a whiner about it, and don't feel that sorry for doing it, although I feel a little scared to hear talk of lead poisoning. But I'm sure B. will be fine, and he recovers.
2) I am attending my last roller skating party at my school before I move across the country. Sometimes boys and girls in the class are starting to roller skate holding hands. It might be that one or two boys have asked me to do this. B. asks me to roller skate. He is the last one I roller skate with, holding hands. The music ends, perhaps too soon, and it's both with reluctance and relief that we part. The last memory of B.

Funny from a friend

http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/865/

So good to listen to again!

Not that it ever stopped!
Flying Dutchman.

Jim Thorpe

Documentary I just saw.

Ah, so

Hooray for hilarity. I have funny friends. I practically died laughing at this silly poem my friend wrote with lines rhyming and ending in dumb, thumb, rum. Ah, HUMOR! I need thee.

(un) happy election

This. Is. So. F-ed. Up!

From "The Garden" from...

Berimbau lyrics
Okay Mac spinning rainbow. I get it. I will put you to sleep now. RRRRRRRRRRF
English translation can aid.
But more fun to try to understand in the original.
Daughters of opium den authors?
Anime girls with cats and a little girl who turns her head on the side?
Other old things. Like some manuscripts...
Autre page

Language skills

Although I love the idea of being able to speak many languages, there was a time, when I was younger, when I went to the movies with friends, with a wonderful person I now live with, and the person I lived with at the time, who could be wonderful sometimes, but in this instance she particularly annoyed me. She'd had a 6 month study abroad period in Mexico, and I heard all about the upper class people with maids they had lived with, and all the expensive extracurricular activities the students got to enjoy. When she came back, she demonstrated her fluency, which in itself is not terrible, but the problem was, she did it a lot, almost to the point of being rude. He with whom I now reside has ancestry from Mexico but his parents were forced to stop speaking their native language, and are not fluent that way. Although he is not the kind of person to hold on to a grudge, I still remember feeling angry at what I felt to be our friend's insensitivity as he confided in me that he felt bad while she went on and on...anyway, water under the bridge at this point, but this article is so interesting and so, although I love the idea of speaking many languages, and I hope to be more fluent in the future, and I know it's complicated, and I don't want to trump on peoples' freedom of expression, I think this person makes interesting points. And so I post this link: I'm Sorry Whiteness You Can't Have Everything

Song message moment

Imported carpets, women who wore corsets in the 19th century, English girl daughters of authors and the authors in their opium dens, standards of conduct for girls, girls of any era will defy the standards, and Irene, sent away to be a maid, goes to the garden at night and sniffs a flower. Some one else comes out to meet her.
Cut Chemist-The Garden
~~~~
Someone put it up with anime.

Most wonderful time of the year...

to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
I saw the movie; perhaps I should also try to read Cold Comfort Farm.
Which apparently has sequels!

TV & Radio & Video & Politics...

The old TV fritzed out. Now there's another one, and when the digital converter box works properly, some stations are available. Watched in black and white, with fuzzy red and blue lines on the right and left sides of the screen. Speaking of red and blue...

Last night an author on Charlie Rose's show was talking about his disappointment with the president. I am beginning to think it's possible that people use the phrase "another Vietnam" way too much. Think, how can it really be "another Vietnam?" Both seemed quite unhappy with the administration for being too accomodating to Republicans and tea-partyers in regard to the health care bill. However, didn't they also have to be accomodating to Democrats who wanted to try to please their constituents in order to pass anything at all? Sigh. And some commentator on the radio, a former speech writer for Bush, says that he's going to vote as a staunch Republican in spite of tea party craziness because the president is so ineffective. Essentially, they all seemed to be saying the same thing, which is how very, very disappointed they all are. A big old clod of depresso.

I think that requiring people with "pre-existing conditions" to go uninsured for a 6 months before they qualify for anything is inhumane. Because, how much sicker can a person get in 6 months? How is that a good thing? And no, it doesn't matter to me that people in the 1800s and before got along without health insurance. I don't want to go back in time and throw a bunch of tea in a harbor, and this is the 21st century.

On a slightly different note, I see that a friend of a friend has an interesting take on the greening of oil companies' ad campaigns.
~~~~~
How odd. Now TV number 2 is doing the same on/off flicking stuff the first one did. Perhaps there is an epidemic circulating amongst old TVs.

A song moment

This time it came at about 9:30 p.m., staring, in the glow of the computer screen(s) and lamp, at a white sheet of paper, printed on with black ink depicting a text that's been revised, rewritten, and signed at the bottom. The song was the ending to: "A Punchup at a Wedding (No No No No No No No No)."

Productivity

Oh, god, I'm doing it again.
I'm watching youtube instead of working on my applications.
Okay. I found a solution.
I will listen to Go Remy while I work on them. Phew.
But now that makes me want to look up the etymology of while.
Yay. This explains some things. ;-)
But I feel like I might've had a dream about these windstorms.
Time to call people.

E. I. D. A. D. K. A. M.

Everything I Do And Don't Know About Music. Or something like that.
Anagram time!!! First: Authencity, Politics, and Truffle Oil.
Oooh I almost wrote Trubble. Next: M.I.A.’s Agitprop Pop.
"she began to experience contractions. As the pain hit, Maya was performing with the male titans of rap (Jay-Z, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, T.I.) and she later told me that she thought all the free-floating testosterone caused her to go into labor." Um, yeah.
"The combination of being nearly naked, hugely pregnant, singing incendiary lyrics and having the eyes of the world upon her was too much to resist. And she was riveting, upstaging the four much more famous guys and dominating the stage." No, she didn't. At least, not through the camera lens of the person I watched it through.
Also, as I was remembering, one of the bf's (bellisimo friend's) relatives recently had to do something with K. West for work (the experience was apparently a bit obnoxious) & another relative appeared and wore some sunglasses in the M. I. B. video.
Move over, Will, may I see su prima!

What is pleasing and also not pleasing

It is not pleasing that yucky things happen.
But it is very pleasing that some women do something to speak up about it.
Op Ed: Yale Falling Short After Fraternity Incident.
I was unfortunately unsurprised by this:
"We cannot afford to allow such incidents to be glossed over with a “mea culpa” and a slap on the wrist, which is, unfortunately, all too common. That Dean Mary Miller chose to reference “free speech” in her letter to the Yale student body, shows an appalling lack of judgment when Department of Justice statistics show that one in four women will either be raped or experience attempted rape during their four years at college...Two former presidents (HW and W Bush) were members of the very fraternity that perpetrated this outrage. When you consider that 4 out of 10 women being treated at veterans hospitals have reported being raped by fellow soldiers while they were in the military (the actual number is believed higher), and our Presidents as their commanders in chief, have allowed these rapes to be brushed under the carpet, even permitting the perpetrators full military burials, it’s clear that we simply cannot afford to have future leaders being educated in such a misogynistic atmosphere."
But again, happy to see it put in print.
That particular fraternity has conducted itself poorly on other campuses.
That it should draw attention to itself on that particular campus is very interesting.

Peliculas

The guy was nuts but it was fun to watch!
Man On Wire
This one may also be fun. (And rather zany!)
The Legend of Pale Male

Little breath at 5:40 something

Little weary of filling out applications.
Bunch of nerves or muscle next to neck, upper shoulder.
Songs running together: from Amnesiac by Radiohead, and from something called Radio Arcadia (or, "Radio Arcadie"-delightful looking! Must improve knowledge of French) online: Vangelis - La petite fille de la mer, Sarah Brightman & London Symphony orchestra - Bilitis Generique, Tim Story - The Perfect Flaw, Liz Story - Out of Time, Will Ackerman - Pacific II.
Memories or maybe creations of memory having to do with driving over bridges, and through hills, and looking at sunsets.
It might be useful to note what goes on at around the same time as when you were born.
~~~~
(Other things to consider: maybe seeing a wood imp thing out of the corner of my eye, talking to the woods & saying I saw it, nice woods smell to make one want to cook a pot of stew with bay leaves, my old FB friend who has passed on wrote somewhere on livejournal that he saw Pan when he went to a wedding in Germany, those Findhorn Garden books I read at a suitably impressionable age, and who knows why the guy who wrote that book with the interesting interpretation of the Rapunzel/Rampion had to put a rather snooty-sounding little footnote about Findhorn in it. Perhaps he had missed out on seeing things out of the corner of his eye.)
~~~~
And then the universe decided to play what was called, I think, Heart Drumbeat Song.
Robbie Robertson & Red Road Ensemble - Mahk Ichi
Um,

Heartbeat Drum Song

.

Recipe & Music currently in my life

Roasted pumpkin seeds from Snack-Girl
Tombigbee & Indian Summer

It's good

More rescues. Humans do good things sometime.s

Mm.

Someday, I'm sure, this is going to make someone laugh.
I was going through a variety of movies to add to Netflix, ones I hadn't seen and I heard were good. Or even if they weren't so good, but I wanted to see them anyway. Like "Liebstraum," for the architecture and because it was filmed where I used to live. Anyway, I read the description for a certain movie, it goes:
Victor (Victor Rasuk) is a Latino kid who fancies himself as a bit of a lothario around the ghetto. But when word gets out that he's been romancing a fat girl in the apartment upstairs, his credibility as a stud is thrown into question. To shut everyone up, he finds himself a hot new girlfriend, Judy (Judy Marte), the tough neighborhood beauty.
Okay, so WHO is the rejectable fat girl? I immediately want to know. I obviously know that the "beauty" is the one who is going to be shown everywhere. So I tried to find a picture of her. I found out the character's name is "Donna," sooo...I quickly typed "fat donna" into the image search engine, and CLICK
Yeah.
That was not the wisest decision.
And right after that...
I read about this startling new treatment for anorexia!
It just happened. It was not planned.
Go figure.

Wow

I just watched the second Chilean miner get pulled up.
He displayed astounding, absolutely incredible physical exuberance.

Feels like

Indian Summer
That came from the channel of the author of Soiled Wings.
Oh, and Zany Bengals.
(Idea: a comic book story about Domestic cats, Bengal cats, Asian Leopard cats...)
On the way to the grocery store: another instance of a Californian who puts her cat on a leash and transports her on human shoulders.

Music, dreams

A funny person appeared in a dream of mine. In fact, I can't even remember the person's name. It may have been years since I thought of him. But I must remember something of his presence, for in my dream, there he suddenly was. We had been wandering around a home that was like a gigantic dolls house, when he turned and asked me what I was thinking. In the strange reality of dreams, I replied something to the affect of, I don't know, what are you thinking? and pointed the charred, blackened end of a stick at him. Suddenly another girl came up and grabbed him and they went off to some kind of fun event. I was left with a rather sulky feeling.
I feel as if listening to Coldplay before I went to sleep might have had something to do with this. I wasn't ever a person who considered myself a fan of their (overplayed) music, but last night I dozed before sleep with some in my ear, and I changed my opinion. Coldplay became a band that could make war veterans return to a gentler state of mind.
~~~~
One of the songs was...(checking...)"Clocks." Maybe it was that album? (It was on an iPod.)

Maybe a strange juxtaposition, but...

A video my friend made about her experience at the G20 Summit.
The movie "Pizza."
Or, maybe it's not so strange.

books, 4, $

Loving Sabatoge
The Character of Rain
Tokyo Fiancee
Fear And Trembling
And saw the $$$facebookmovie$$$
(People you could've baby sat as a teenager...)

Playing

Fooling around with old digital design software. (Thank you for not dying on me, laptop!) Something about the TV (it is old, with an antenna and a digital converter) makes it come on at random. It just happened to be turned to a religious channel the past two nights. It certainly was a bit disturbing to be woken up by what sounded like a roomful of people chanting in the wee hours of the morning. ("I tell you, it's haunted." "We are NOT haunted!" Once the TV was shut off, sleeping resumed with the bathroom light accidentally-on-purpose left on.)

Now I let La Virgen's station play in the background while I attend to other matters. This is not so strange. Every summer I visited homes where they'd have the same religious radio station playing in the background at all hours of the day and night.

Repetition is a good way to brush up on a language. In a way, it is a pity that Protestants don't say the rosary.

La Virgen

She was one of the first sights to greet me when I saw her painted on a wall in East LA, and she made even more of an impression when she came blaring on televison at 3 o'clock in the morning. This is the second time. Yesterday was the same except I believe it was more like 4 am that a litany of voices in Spanish woke me. I think it sounded louder the first time, but I wasn't the one who turned it off, so I don't know if the image on television was of La Virgen. Why did it happen again? I am sure the TV was turned off before I went to bed. Maybe something weird is going on with the circuitry.
~~~~~~~~
Makes me think of Bliss. "Lately I'm into circuitry."

Time is strange

the universe said.
First Supermodel walks runway
+
Van Morrsion - Domino
+
Veruschka on the cover of Time and other pictures
+
Serge Gainsbourg - Extrait de Melody Nelson

Likeable Breakfast

Today it is frozen red grapes and chamomile lemon myrtle tea which I allowed to get tepid. The flavors are vaguely reminiscent of Fruit Loops cereal, although far subtler, less crunchy-sugary, and more varied in terms of temperature. I like! Speaking of "likeable," I have read some reviews for other books by the author I just read. And people saying "blah blah, don't like the protagonist." I have no idea how I'd feel if I read her other books, but as I get older, I continue to find it disturbing that I have been born into a culture (Earth) that seems so addicted to vivisecting women and comparing them to masculine paragons.

Le book

I have finished Fear and Trembling. I enjoyed it. Once again I have the opportunity to regret that I don't really know French. I even thought, "this would make a good movie," and voila, whaddaya know, there is one.
However, there is one little thing. The whole cleaning the bathrooms part. I mean, having to clean the bathrooms at a corporation, especially where there is a large bay window which one can "throw" herself out of from time to time, how can that possibly compare with having to clean the bathroom of a restaurant/bar, particularly during the disgusting, grabby frat boy atmosphere of greatly-reduced-price pint night? Lets pretend that never happened. Actually, pretty yucky things also happen in bookstore and library bathrooms. A Twice Sold Tales' bathroom in Seattle in the '90s made an impression on me, because there was a sign of the door saying that if anyone dared to go in and shoot up, please just die. That was a bit much.

Interesting art experience

Listened to Depeche Mode's "Clean."
(Didn't watch the video...just now did. It's okay.)
Anyway, I listened to "Clean" and looked at:
Hecate by Hrana Janto
and
Cup of Sweetness by Shiloh.
I like my version!
And I just now noticed the similarities of color...

Appreciation

We could appreciate all the people we've ever known, even if but slightly, or well, or wished to know better, or were strangely indifferent to, or just liked, loved, got mad at, got somehow edumacated by, even if we don't know completely how or why...

Nap music

Another World.
Hmmm okay
Another Video.

Food

Food, Inc.
Google Monsanto. I mean, type the name in the search engine. Oh, gee, what word immediately comes up next to it? "Evil," you say?
That surely was a mistake.
Uh, mistake???
Yes, I suppose these could be food-related, to my imagination:
Sex and the GOP: Why Right Wing Women...
&
"to masculinize--and thus legitimize--their brand..."

Dreams

Enter Sandman.
I said I wanted to hear that song in the car. Less than 24 hours later, I just happened to get in the car at almost the precise moment it was coming on.
(Only the ending was interrupted when I had to run back into the house to retrieve a book. It was one that got lent to me and I was surprised. I take note when someone just kind of pushes a book into my hands. This one was Hands of Light.)
How fantastic is it, when that happens?
Once, not at all long ago, I had some experience in the dream world. It sort of involved meeting a friend. Who this friend could be, it's hard to say, the visage changed several times, could have been many people, even at one point a Jim Morrison-ish guy (of all people. Sheesh.) I don't know where that came from, perhaps a part of that one decided to drop in on this part of the state.
I suppose the best part of the dream was, me and friend just sort of sat among a group at a picnic and friend told me that I "get it."
And that 'twas a nice little dream, and what is the meaning of dreams? Kind of like the stuff that singing in the clawfoot bathtub while you're a kid playing with plastic ufos from a McDonalds happy meal is made of.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream.

Gorgeous

Fruit in my bowl.
Herbs in the salad drawer.
Purple heirloom beanpods; I have no idea what I'm going to do with them.
The local produce exchange. I was able to contribute, thanks to the previous tenant who planted mint!
A new foodblog to read: kkhousewifefantasies.com.

It stuck a chord

Stuck. I thought I wanted to type "struck."
Yesterday, I happily accepted the score on my typing test (high enough for the jobs I've looked at.) I had a pretty happy outlook most of the day...I stopped to get coffee on a gift card I received as a present. Only worry: Sugars! What kind of drink doesn't have too much sugar? (The girl behind the counter explained the "skinny drink" menu went away and even if you put sugar free syrup in a regular drink, milk itself has a fair amount of sugar...wow, I didn't expect her to be so vigilant about sugar, but then again in a way I'm not surprised.)
On the way out I saw the headline for a story in the paper that made me feel sick. That is one incident concerning a place that has A LOT of problems. On a slightly different topic, there are schools which have also terrible problems with assault, and that is one.
It has not been addressed adequately.
Happier note: the article about the wrestler who has made massive contributions (both financial and time-wise) to RAINN.
Also there was a good story on "This American Life," the espisode was about "frenememies." Or frenemies. Whatever. (About the spelling of frenemies. Not about the content of the show and article.)

Time

I still don't get it. People are born and live and die and I don't really understand it very much.
(I might be attending a service tonight; I don't know yet.)
Take pictures of something. Post on the internet. Recent turns to long time ago.
If you don't keep drinking water, the you that you are known as won't stick around.
I do like this cover of the Karma Police song.
I have felt luckier lately. It's wonderfu...

Accomplishments

By noon, I had finished a biography by a heretofore unknown to me actress named Olivia Munn. Apparently she likes comic book conventions. The best things about the book: it had Wonder Woman in the title, and stories about ego-inflated men in Hollywood being misogynist and wretched.
I must confess, part of me gets a special pleasure from reading such stories. In the opinion of that personality, anyone who attempts to suppress the sharing of these stories risks an encounter with the "Karma Police!"
~~~~
Unfortunately, it was surprisingly hard for the GPS-deprived to find the place offering a free typing certificate test. (Never found it.) I did give myself an unexpected tour of some freeways and admired the graffiti off "the 710."
~~~~~
Hmmm, maybe Erika Lopez is next on the reading list. ;-D

Haaaa...Hah.

Oh, bah. "Karma Police" is in my head because I clicked on it after looking at Ya La Tengo songs and both were set to some old 70s cop movie (no desire to see it!) Kah-ma Pah-leees...uhhhhh...
'Twas interesting to stay in a neon motel in Gallup, NM and "Easy Rider" came on TV.
Better: 9 to 5! Radio revives the weary!
By way of Dolly Parton!!! Gooooo Dolly.
Dumb Blonde.

I have a newfound appreciation of Cal Ripkin

There's the Mary Prankster song, "Blue Skies over Dundalk"...
But I have to make a clean break and I have to do it quick cause the pain you give me babe would make Cal Ripkin call in sick
I know more about this now, thanks to the episode of the Ken Burns documentary I watched last night. Many other interesting parts to it, also.
I usually don't watch baseball.

If I know crazy...

A(n?) FB friend posted a clip of a press conference on UFOs - Sept. 27.
I think it's rather interesting. Expect it's still a bit too weird for some people.
For some reason I wanted to title this with a snippet of the song "Crazy."
~~~~
I also became endeared to Whores of Dublin, but that's another topic.

Kind of like a found poem

But it's a certain someone's notes:

Salon Cielo
found a building downtown Covina
south of where Im at now

probably November
cant say enuf good stuff about this city
theyve been reeal gen with me theyve helped me along
deal with city and county
pretty much

hoping for smooth transistion
couple days should be longer than that
help

Most recently planted sprig

of rosemary by some mint.
Hope it grows.

Venturing

Overheard yesterday evening:
"Okay, I know that!"
"I got her pregant and she had my kid."
"Okay! I know that already!"
"Too bad it wasn't you. You missed, huh."
The teenage boy and teenage girl moved to the bench to cuddle, where he continued to whisper witticisms that made her shriek delightedly. Sigh. Well there's less chance of him getting her pregnant in a park, I guess. Later a park ranger walked by, talking about how he'd just asked some kids if their parents were around.
~~~~
What is it about a 3 dollar movie theater that makes an audience so appreciative? Laughing at all the jokes in "Dinner For Schmucks" and applauding at the end. Even the bathroom had an intriguing scent of cigarettes and incense.
~~~~
Hmmm, just took a look at the Community Sustainability Fair. I heard them introducing a "Miss Teen Earth" or something like that. There's also a Disney van with a large picture of 3 seemingly barely-not-teenage guys on the side of it. I guess those 3 guys are the face of Disney...why not have a foursome and make it boy-girl? And why is there no Mr. Teen Earth? It's just a question...Oh, okay. I guess it's Radio Disney and the guys on the van might be the "Jonas Brothers."
I see they're staying pure 'til marriage; that's refreshing. Maybe some other kids who hang out at the park will take a hint ;-P
Oh, but, there actually is a Mr. Teen Earth--he's in the Phillippines!
Which also bestows upon its female contestants the more progressive title, "Ms."

To see, to read, to see...

Picture Me movie.
Picture Me miniseries.
Enlightened Sexism book.
Microworlds.
Fall colors.

Time to reflect on

knowing of periods of life that are like a tangled matted ball when you look back upon them. Bullying, manipulation, corruption, feminist lady professors who only use it in the classroom but can't apply it to real life, intellectual men who were stupid and pathetic and drunk on a date and shrugged off responsibility, people ganging up on others, witch-hunt-style, and cycles of poverty, repeating themselves...Maybe there is carthasis in watching the song Godless and the hula hooper in the video.
~~~~~~
And also: multiple incarnations.

Appreciation of 2009 (?) stuff

Juana Molina: Un Dia.
And profile of Juana Molina
(Oops, I guess that was posted in 2006!)
And Foof for Thought.
Foof?

In which

Searching and searching and searching for employment crackers and cheese and frozen grapes. Oh please. People (not one, but many) who didn't NEED plastic surgery. I saw a woman walking into the 99 cent store the other day with a large growth on her lip. I wondered if it was hard to eat.
Oh please.
Oh PLEASE Oh PLEASE Oh PLEASE Oh PLEASE Oh PLEASE

In addition to other things...

Today I walked to a park to read about typography and then took a break from that with a comic book. As I was lying on my blanket, a yippie little dog (I really should learn dog breeds--it had gold fur and a pointy face) without a leash, but wearing a harness, approached me. It stopped and gave me a stare. The wind ruffled the leaves of the typography book. The dog ran away and began to bark. (Or, yip.) It did this for a while, even though I was just being still and reading, and then got closer again and started barking (yipping) some more. I was a little bit worried about it, but I also was not in the mood to get bitten, so I told the dog to cut it out. It listened and went away, peed on some trees, then eventually left the park. Hopefully it's owner was nearby, maybe it wandered away from one of the houses.

Now I'm home. I looked at this author's blog. It's kind of neat to read something that someone you just read wrote this very day. The comic book I began to look at in the park was an older one about Calliope, which was a surprise. I didn't know which one I'd brought with me 'til I got there.

I was not big on comic books when I was younger, but now they interest me. I saw that there is going to be a convention on them soon. I said to my bellissimo friend, hmmm, maybe I should go to that. He said that it would be full of VERY nerdy guys. (He can't really talk, he would probably fit right in.) But he said "are you SURE," with a very intense eyeball look, in such a way that I began to think "Hmmm...I dunno..." I began to wonder if there would be such an aura of male nerdiness that it would be overwhelming or fatiguing. Is it really so revolting to women (or, to "someone like me") to go to them? What if I take to my deathbed and find I have a strange regret that I have never attended a comic book convention?

The other thing, though, is the lack of extra spending money, or even money for bills at the moment! So, we shall see...what shall we have for dinner?

Totally

Excited. There's going to be an exhibit of French Medieval manuscripts at the Getty! Any works by Christine de Pizan? Maybe not. But perhaps other works she might've seen! Now listening to Flying Dutchman.
And looking at Christine de Pizan at the British Library again.

Muse to revise to

Music:
Yo La Tengo - Green Arrow.
Underworld - Glam Bucket.
~~~~~~
And to read:
Walter Benjamin at the Dairy Queen.

Most beautiful song

"That's the most beautiful song about death I've ever heard."
Gathering Flowers for the Master's Bouquet by the Stanley Brothers.
Bellissimo friend likes blue grass music.
Perhaps we could do the blue grass music trail in Virginia some day.
For a variety of reasons, I started to watch Amy Winehouse.
Back to Black. Hmmm, more death themes...
Ah-ha! According to this, she should be celebrating her birthday today! Funny synchronicity.
I'd like her to be healthy and see her perform sometime.

Art

Mi bellisimo amigo me dijo que le gusta mucho una pintura...de un goblin with a hammer en ese article. Si, es maravillosa, o/a?
Certain powers seem to be sending me signals. I need to hone my bread winner skills. I have made efforts. Today I mostly excelled at consuming frozen grapes and gluten-free crackers. And watching Flying Dutchman set to outerspace pictures. I might look for the original Dr. Who opening, I loved it as a kid. I should leave this place to get my Vitamin D bath. I have read that Vitamin D may be good for teeth...

That reminds me, after a visit to a historic museum yesterday, which included looking at a photograph of early 20th century nurses, fully attired in prissy uniforms, holding gigantic reflecting disks in front of TB patients sitting outside of their sanitorium, this article about a local doctor was worth a look. Appropriately fascinating. The combination of the nurses' uniforms, the discs, remembering Thoreau, and really hoping that the popcorn ceiling I used to scrape my nails across, creating "snow" as a first grader, was the kind without asbestos...

Other adventures included visiting Idyllwild and watching "Machete" at a drive-in. I complimented someone's colored glass window and learned that it used to have a bullet hole in it. Seems like a nice enough neighborhood. Still scoping this place out. It's a big area. It's going to take a while.

Giant Tome!

Well I did not expect that.
"It's very large!" said the Pasadena librarian. "And...flexible!"
He said "It's a big comic book." And sounded mildly surprised.
So I just looked at it. Ah, ha. There's a song I haven't heard yet.
Flying Dutchman by the School Chorus.
For a moment, I think again of the FB friend who died too soon many would say.
Could Sickle Cell disease be helped at all by diet and such things?
A short time after I heard the news, I went out one day, driven by some kind of intense loneliness of the heart, and saw a man who had collapsed on the steps of a bank in Arlington. Surrounded by people of all ages, including a young woman who made an impression on me as if she had some kind of first aid training. Maybe she even had a stethoscope, although I'm not really sure.
He was quite still.
I turned around and drove by again, and the emergency vehicle was coming.
A few days later, I was on my way to the post office. In the car, I asked my mother, "Do you think, if someone dies, and you see them, that they know that you saw them?" When I emerged from the post office, she said a massive funeral procession had gone by while I was inside.

Everything in particular

1) An Education. Ah, if life's worst only brought your youthful self into a tryst with a David, and then a not-so-dead teacher with a hip little flat magically revealed the path to the Oxford solution!
2) Beowulf. Those DVD extras revealed that its creators found it preferable or sufficient to hire some good actors who mostly looked quite different in real life from their animated characters, but the same cannot be said for the actresses! In-trysting reaffirmation that the film industry is sexist, no?
3) Under Your Skin, Naked Eye
I once again adore getting reacquainted with Fever In, Fever Out by Luscious Jackson. I got the CD as a present on my 21st birthday (from he with whom I now reside).
4) California Orange Box Labels

Read more about Rapunzel

In Imaginary Landscape: Making Worlds of Myth And Science.

Current Interests

Comic books. I did not read them so much. Only when I was really young, I liked some, because they were gifts from my Dad. I learned about the bad guy vs. the good guy. Superman. Wonderwoman. Neil Gaiman's are available in the small local library.
The first time I went on the internet, during my senior year of highschool, a classmate/friend and I talked to some guy who called himself Morpheus. Me and my friend were cool with each other in real life (I have fond memories of her, I wish I knew what happened to her) but I guess we-or I?-acted more competitive on the computer. She was also more witty than I was online. "Morpheus" from the island of "Cypress" seemed to point this out in a way that I found annoying, I remember that! It seems more funny now. I think he might've gotten his name from these comics.
And at another library, I'm on the waiting list for Comic Book Tattoo.
Otherwise--refocusing on health and changing eating patterns. More than that. I like to cook, if it's simple. Or if I'm in the mood, I can be more complicated.
Gosh, how funny it is to read the things that came out in my youth, that I'd never bothered noticing until now.

Some stuff about psychics and sex workers

This movie has more references to the place of my birth than any other I know of: Men Who Stare at Goats. An Appalachian trail hiker who is also a sex worker blogs about the changes of the seasons and autumn. She also makes an interesting point in this post about what sounds to me to be a very unfair law in New Orleans.

The Parks

I went to a wetlands park, but was disappointed by the pervasive sights and sounds of traffic.
I went to a beach, but didn't care for the oil derricks on all sides.
I went to a canyon park which had free parking, except it was impossible to find a spot.
But then, after dark, I went to where a gigantic orange balloon rose like a harvest moon over an old air force base runway.
Great Park.
Redeemed!
"Do you know why this is so cool?" I said. "I am a person who has conflicting feelings about military bases and coming from a military background. This place...is like therapy!"

Cute site

But needs an up to date flash player
http://www.superchargedfood.com

Health is nice

Oh today was a good day when I woke up.
I felt like a combination of the positive parts of some songs was playing in the back of my mind...
(Destiny's Child: "I'm a Survivor" and something that the character Tony sings in West Sing Story: "could it be, yes it could, something's coming, something good...")
On other mornings, I didn't feel well, and it was awful.
I have woken up to hear someone far off, screaming, but it was in my head, or something.
I have spent portions of my life actually cringing when I heard children on a playground because I was afraid something bad was happening. Then I looked and it was just kids playing.
As far as I know, I have not eaten any processed wheat or sugar in 2 weeks.
And so far, I have really enjoyed my food today.

I like this woman

Sarah Jones, who I just heard on The Moth Radio Hour.
Sarah Jones "Your Revolution."

Other Winter days

Dreams last night of being in a different part of the country, or maybe even continent. But, could have been up around Seattle, maybe even Canada. Fewer people and more hills. Persons were riding bicycles in a country of long grasses and grey skies. And then going to a stranger's house, and trying to find out if hers was beneath another's, and intending to find out by placing one map on top of another.
Not really accustomed to this sunshine all the time.
Already missing the change of seasons. The leaves and apple picking and smoky autumns. I remembered watching some videos in colder seasons.
Police Me, Starling, Fast Horse, Lady in Blue.
And getting library books, and driving to spacious parks that were either free or much cheaper to get into, and they showed the change of the seasons.
I remember pizza and wine, which are things I am not eating right now.
Pizza box, Tonight, Cool Last Night.
It might be nice to live in a place that has seasons, but have a home in a milder climate to sit out the worst of the summers and winters.
But not sit out the good winter days!
~~~~~
And for some reason, and not necessarily much to do with winter, I kind of vaguely seem to remember how I looked at the world as a kindergartener.

On another coast...

But on the internet, I can still read stuff like this...
http://dcist.com/2010/08/welcome_to_dc_tea_party.php
Yes it is more amusing from afar.

Perseverance

Good grief, it was ridiculously hard to find this movie.
I typed all sorts of things into google and Netflix.
I looked up lists about movies on women and sports.
I thought back...how did I come across this ever so many years ago? I think it was when I got into watching movies about runners and found it on Amazon. (That didn't work the first time either, but I kept searching.)
Voila. I finally found it and now it's in the Netflix queue.
The Long Run.

This one

So, this song, "Happy Phantom." It seems to be hanging around alot lately.
Maybe it's partly because there are many friendly-looking plastic skulls in the apartment.
There's one wearing a pirate hat sitting over me now.
Hah.

Recovery time again

Cultured coconut milk with stevia.
Nori wrapped around avocado, cucumber and herb salad.
Mary's Gone Crackers.
Am I ever gonna give up wheat and sugar permanently?
It seems so, 'til after I forget...

Another re-watch

Ms. Smith rocks the hag in flannel look.
Smells Like Teen Spirit (Patti Smith)
More fun than revising resumes on a Saturday night.

Celebrity

Being in this area reminds you that there is this thing called celebrity. I forget exactly how that "degrees of separation" theory works, but if it has anything to do with "know a person who's met a person," I can think of THREE famous people I've kind of ALMOST been in touch with lately:
1) Sr. Petreus, cause I recently saw my Dad and he was checking his e-mail and they use the same W.P. classmate prayer list, 2) Kanye West, cause one of bellisimo friend's aunts recently had to deal with him over the phone when he kept changing his flights for some reason, and 3) Johnny Depp! Because another aunt works at Disney and rode up in an elevator with him. While he was in full Pirates of Carribean mode. And in character. So that was actually probably a while ago, but how could I not include that? Writers are not often afforded the same degree of celebrity as actors and politicians, but perhaps authors who get their books banned could be on their way...

Still, no matter how much of a celebrity one might be, even meeting him or her is nothing compared to how I can feel about reuniting with a certain food or taste. Right now, for example, I have a strange desire for the Fruit and Nut salad dressing I could get at Aladdin's, which was a really great chain that they don't have out here. It's not a terribly strong craving, but I still want some. And that was not even my favorite dressing there. Weird. I do think it's fun when you read or see a show about a place, and get to visit it. That's like getting in touch with celebrity. I almost had that kind of experience when I tried the fried potato salad at Cafe on the Route. Not terribly healthy for everyday consumption, but still, YUM.

Rite-Aids here have icecream and serve it in square-shaped scoops. Another idiosyncracy.

Comida

Put out some beans, tortillas and other stuff. Bellisimo friend sat down to eat and said, "You know what, for some reason I'm thinking of an old cartoon..." Something about a sombrero-wearing Mexican guy who sits down, the plate explodes in his face, and then he says (in English with a heavy accent) "my wife--she eees a good cook!" I tried to look for a clip like that on the net but only found this: Ask a Mexican. The tortilla (the ones eaten today were made of corn) link was added as an afterthought.

Waking up...

Something about waking up today: I was half in a dream, and a little white ball came to the top of one of those round air-filled lotto machines.
I live in a place. It's got a lot of sunshine. I have a friend on the other coast who filmed yesterday's hurricane/monsoon storm in Virginia.
The video was compelling.
I didn't experience that one as it happened.
A drive thru was closed yesterday. There was a deputy in the parking lot talking to a woman and all the women inside did their best to ignore us and I wanted to just go on, but driver had to ask a question: "Did something bad happen?" Yes. What it was, who knows, but they were closing up early.
This place is so cute and charming but there is a lot of stuff going on. When I first walked the streets, so cute, "old town," I still felt a little suspicious. And I am not used to palm trees, and the weather.
Other things: Street fair every Friday. People walk their pets: not just dogs, but a boar and a macaw. A magician's act in the park: light a frying pan on fire and pull out a chinchilla. Kids love it.
I think there is a memorial service celebrating my FB friend that died, today, in Virginia.
That's a strange place and this one is, too.
~~~~~
Snow Cherries From France.
~~~~~
(Just remembering, once I read a negative (and I thought, really silly) review of the artist's American Doll Posse album, and it was kind of funny. The reviewer kind of scornfully called her something like a "favorite aunt." The reason that's funny is, sometimes, she actually does alternately remind me of two of my aunts. And this is not so funny but it comes to mind: one of them got stabbed by a stranger and the other one had a gun put to her head in a hold up. And I know those things happened. But, of course, they are not the first things that come to mind when I think of them!)

Yellow tomatoes

I met my neighbor and she gave me some of those little oblong tomatoes and told me who else lives in the building. Pretty nice...
Earlier I developed a desire to visit Pie Town.
Found an interesting rendition of Suzanne.
Yeee-ha, T. Amos in spectacles!
And I listened to The Story.
Now I'm pretty interested in Annabeth Barnes.
So just watched the Racing Dreams trailer.

Things about Homer

"Are U Ready?"
A tasty BBQ place in Missouri is advertised by those words on a sign alongside Rt. 44. The interior is decorated with religious art and airplanes fashioned out of old soda pop cans. The owner had a Saudi Arabian son-in-law once. "Ah love 'im." He also has a Jewish doctor who keeps a kosher household. He has preached the word of Jesus to both and probably to most if not all of his patrons. He has served BBQ to people from all over the world, including various government officials, a guy from National Geographic, a large (something like 50 youths) gospel choir, and a haughty French official, who came in with some friends and became offended when, after asking for a Jack Daniels, was told that he wouldn't be served "that slop." The friends thought it was funny but he refused to order. Homer brought him some taters anyway.
He has a grandson from the Phillipines who told him that the reason why the page used to go blank when he tried to read it was because he got brain damage when he began drinking alcohol at an extremely young age.
That was before he found the Lord.
He invited us to Bible study and offered to buy me and the bellisimo friend a marriage license. Quote from J's FB note: "I expected at some point he might ask if we we had accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord, (MY EDIT: "personal Lord and Savior!") but Homer is sharper than that, and zeroed in on a more significant point. Probably noting we didn't have rings on our fingers, he asked 'Y'all are married, right?'"
Ah, Homer. Introducing me to a new/old slang term, either it was "shackjob" or "shackmoll," I can't remember which. (Kindly was mentioned without being directed at me, of course!) I could do without the lecture, but otherwise he was a real nice guy. And we even got a free dessert.
Another account about Homer can be found in someone's older blog entry here.

"Tombigbee..."

I listened to it at some point on the trip.
I'm reading Blue Highways again.
Tombigbee...

What played on the radio at midnight

When I came into LA!
Midnight Radio.

Do girls really faint that much at concerts?

I have never been able to get through watching a video of an entire song sung by Justin Bieber (to be fair, tonight was the first time I tried) but supposedly girls faint over him. I want to know something--do girls really faint that much at concerts or does the media just like to write stories about girls fainting? I can't think of a single girl I've ever met who has fainted at one. Now, getting trampled in the mosh pit is another story.
~~~~~~
It makes me wish they would make other artists, like Invincible, a sensation, but a) she's probably too threatening to them to make it worth their while or b) she wouldn't sell out enough to them or c) she may have no desire for the kind of lifestyle that would entail.

Happy trails to you...

I believe that's what I'm hearing...But tonight, G. Keillor's show dedicated to summer reading is perfect to listen to while I'm organizing (the precursor to more packing.) Esp. the re-do of "A Streetcar Named Desire."
And I do indeed know how photographs of oneself are sometimes insipid.
I may have to listen to it again while I'm packing tomorrow. ;-D

Something to watch, something else too...

if you want to unexpectedly feel tears rolling down your cheeks in spite of yourself...
Stacy Westfall's championship ride.
For me, anyway.
~~~~~
Oh and another thing.
Operation Happy Note.

Old stuff

I went through some files. I got a few treats. Like a couple of "good reviews" of my work from grad school, by fellow grad students. Awesome! I will save. I will try that creative writing thing again.
I also found this lovely thing (twice):
"This is the attendence sheet for those already enrolled in Section 2 / Section 6. Please note: if you are not enrolled on BUSI then you are NOT in my section. Unfortunately, there is not enough space to accomodate everyone & making excuses, expressing your disappointment in a rude fashion, or pretending you are enrolled when you're not, will NOT help your case. If all sections are closed, sign up next semester."
Boy, was I in a good mood that day or what?
Those notes were torn at the top. I probably ripped them off the attendence sheets. I may have expressed similar sentiments verbally though.
Somehow it looks less abrasive when I read it typed then it did handwritten.
~~~~~
Upon watching TV and all the men on TV, and reading articles written by men, I have a real moment of feeling my life is quite wholly shaped by my being female. I am sure not all women feel that way. But many probably do. I do.

Eating cherries and almonds

Eating Rainer cherries and almonds standing up in the kitchen, it comes to me to be thinking of Irene going out to the garden at night to love and sniff at a kind of flower. A night where she will meet someone else in the garden. Imperfections, moments of energy. 19th century, other century. Other bodies, other decisions, other mistakes. A body, a financial situation, a set of circumstances. "I was thinking, maybe if you seem to remember things about other people, it has something you do with your ancestry. If you were B.F., then I was your dog and you kicked me around." There was a message on the refrigerator. A quote from a book others are reading called The Art of Racing in the Rain. "That which you manifest is before you."

Out of Time

Introducing...a book.
Began it in the van of a Wegman's parking lot while beagle-sitting during a heat wave. Read most of it today, after a busy morning, and after attempting to sort through boxes, when the ground shifted like the deck of a ship under my feet. I decided it was time to take a break.
It was great to read on the tail end of my trip to upstate New York.
Out of Time by Paula Martinac.
~~~~~
I revisited Our Home Library in Johnson City. I combed the Young Adult section for a book I can't quite remember the title of. Me the moon my ass....something. It was about a girl who has a weight problem and her brother does something bad when he goes to college and their parents overindulge/excuse him but she doesn't. Well, I didn't find it. But there was an intense reader there. A young woman, probably a teenager. She looked Mexican to me, but maybe that's just because I'm going to be heading closer to Mexican/Californian culture. She was soooo intense about the book scrutiny and I think later maybe she was poring through some CDs or DVDs. I admired the intensity.

By the way.

If you have to go without health insurance for six months (and put yourself at risk for catastrophe for six months) in order to qualify, of if I have, to or if my family member has to do that, that is simply not good enough.

Ah, quirkiness

So, there are beliefs in this world. Beliefs, religious in origin, about sleeping arrangements and matrimonial bonds and whatnot. My bellisimo friend has a large family which has donated furniture and many household items towards an apartment we will both be living in, and he also has grandparents who periodically have taken in kin and also accepted the significant others of their kin, (even if they are not joined in matrimony) actually living and sleeping under their roof.
It will be very quirkily charming when he realizes that, even if we can pack the air mattress and transport it to the unfurnished work-abode of my male parent, we will indeed be welcomed in a very friendly manner, but nevertheless, sharing the air mattress and the same room, is, if I am understanding correctly, going to be a no-go. So it's the floor and shelves of religious books. Monks! We can pretend we are monks! I am so into it. I hope I still feel that way after hours of driving!
Ah, wide world of different beliefs and codes of behavior.
Little Earthquakes...God....

Sigh!

Happiness sigh! I got to go on my trip! It was wonderful. It wasn't perfect, and the heat wave sucked, but I got to go on a trip! I miss that part of the country. But I got to visit and I know I will visit it again. Me and some places have an agreement on that. Upstate NY. Well, who knows, I even remember once in Massachusetts I was rambling to a complete stranger about how great and wonderful a place it was. I think I was outside of a gas station. I may have been in a line to a port-a-potty. The stranger said "it is great." He was a working class guy, in my memory. I actually don't know what he did for a living. Maybe I was high off of seeing the literary sites I'd seen, but I think it was also the place, the land.
I know some very creative things have happened in some places I have lived in.
I don't know much...I don't know...I don't know much...but I know....
In spite of the heat, my mom and the beagle and I visited six carousels and rode on three of them. She purchased a vibrant and unique painting of a fox and soap from Sea Hag soaps in Brackney, Pennsylvania. If we had more time I would've tried to get us to go to wineries and Watkins Glen! Ah well...next time.
On the way back, I ate many locally grown peaches from a stand in Pennsylvania. I may have set a record.

SO good

Three Hits by The Indigo Girls.
For a road trip! For solo singing in a small apartment...
Off to upstate NY tomorrow.
Gosh I just realized something. Years ago, when I heard a Sherman Alexie story on public radio, I was probably driving by the Onondaga nation, and never realized it, or else I didn't remember it.
Unique is the feeling of wishing to reconnect with a part of oneself that belongs to another place.

Tonight

I looked at old bookmarks. I weeded them. I watched Becky Stark again.
I filled out more paperwork.
Can I FINALLY get my stolen paychecks please?
If you are what you eat, I turned into vegetarian pizza.
~~~~~
Maybe I can convince my mom to go to upstate NY on a trip to escape 102 degree heat this week. We will see.

Songs...

Lately I am so, so attached to the live LP versions on the second CD of To Venus and Back. Especially Little Earthquakes live, (which is not that version, though.) But how funny to get so attached when I didn't listen to it for a long time. I always have to listen to that CD in the car and it's been that way for weeks.
My former music teacher mother sometimes points out key changes because I asked her about them. I am told my voice is untrained but I have good pitch. Which means I can hear well enough to hit notes where they should be hit, mostly. I was an alto (actually, Alto II) in the choir and my voice is not as strong on really high notes, but I like (or love) to sing along when I listen to music in the car and I think it's important to at least try to hit the notes. It can be quite jarring to hear someone singing really out-of-key. Since that's my only musical outlet, sometimes I can almost get annoyed if I have to talk to someone instead of singing in the car, but I try to not get that way about it!
Off and on we had a piano in the house when I was growing up but I never really took to it. Too bad. I think I like singing best. It might've been nice to take voice/piano lessons. Also would've been a luxury, though. Circumstances just got in the way. No, I didn't get lots of free lessons from my single parent working mom. Time as well as money can be an issue. I was not a kid who did lots of extracurricular activities but I was in band for a little while. I wanted to play flute but they had too many and the band instructor and my mother made me take clarinet. I have an appreciation for it, and also played bass clarinet, which has completely different music a lot of the time. I am glad, but I might've stuck with it more if they let me play flute. Hell yeah I would have. Damn. Still, since I did develop an appreciation for clarinet and bass clarinet parts, I can't exactly be sorry!
Much of the time I was alone, or with my sister and cats, reading. Maybe I will take some lessons as an adult. Would love to study more about music, dance, painting, drawing, languages...

Impressions

Something interesting churning. That article I found it hard to get through but haven't thrown away since grad school for some reason, with references to "the wasp credited with the honeycomb," is actually a modern introduction to a book I haven't read, called Impressions of Theophrastus Such. (putting the damage on...my best impression...)

Today I was also reading about my friend's horrible experience. And some comments on it...

A quote before returning

And a demonstration of the equal sign, from River-horse, page 153.

"The cook stepped from the kitchen to see who the hell had wandered in. 'Off the river?' she said. We sat at the counter in front of a large refrigerator with a hand-lettered sign punctuated with equal signs as if the phrases were equations:
NO = VULGAR = LANGUAGE
WATCH = YOUR = MOUTH
Pilotis warned a look at me although I hadn't said a word. We thought ourselves and the cook the only ones about, but then from a side room we heard a rough, threatening Appalachian voice: 'Weasel's gonna eat up your liver,' and a child began to whimper. The cook saw our expressions, and she said, 'That's her mom = The kid ordered chicken livers = Weasel's her dog.'"

Nuttier

Sigh. I really felt awful and had multiple symptoms. So I went to the Urgent Care. I waited for hours, was finally examined, and everything I had was, basically, not serious. Of course, I got a prescription or two out of it anyway, but essentially, I didn't need to go. $$$igh!
Oh well. Maybe I just needed official reassurance of my health. Either that or I'm too interesting of a case and need specialists.
At least I got through more of River-horse.

Good and

This is good. It gets in my head.
Upside Down.
And....
It is different from what my favorite experiences are.
My favorite experiences are kind of like
listening to Datura
and either driving (whoosh)
or maybe staring at a picture of a Goddess, like Lakshmi.

Stuff and such

Before I leave the East Coast, I think I'm going to visit the place I used to live. Just a short trip. Exciting! Although I failed to make much of an impression at school or start a great career there, I nevertheless learned much. For example, I admired the work of Susann Cokal, who graduated from their program, but for some reason the English department, who celebrated other graduates, didn't even seem to know she'd published interesting fiction. I wonder if that has changed? Oh well. Oh well about a lot of other things, too; thinking about them just makes me feel tired. But the best is when you find a part of the country that you can love, and that gave you lasting friendships. At least that happened. I love upstate NY.

Whoa

Memoir by Jessica Stern.
Before I read that review, I was looking at a picture of my friend, who is the "unidentified woman" photographed being arrested in this article.
I was also thinking, I sort of have a problem with people using one word (like "assault") to describe completely different things.
Another review.

I could wake up

with this song in my head.
I have woken up with this song in my head.
I think of myself watching clouds move over the park with this song in my head.
Purple People.
~~~~
I have read two Tori O'Shea mysteries. Killing Cousins and In Sheep's Clothing. I will read more. I feel that they are good preparation for the St. Louis leg of my road trip and thereafter.
I also read online some of the history about Baxter Springs, KS, because I might want to stop there at a place called "Cafe on the Route." I am, although not without difficulty, getting through Riverhorse. (Lack of boat knowledge is a bit of an obstacle at times.) And my future traveling companion tells me he has picked up Blue Highways. :-)

Organizing

Cheerfully planning stuff to see along Rt. 66 and memories of my time in Illinois came to mind. I have to organize stuff. I have to throw stuff out. I have to decide what to keep. Any old drawings from art class? That one I drew while sitting beside my FB friend who died, I should keep. And what about another old art class neighbor friend...I have some drawings from that class too. I thought I threw a portrait away. I think, now, no I didn't. The name of old neighbor gets searched and this crazy politico comes up. What the hay? And I used to have dreams that are little like the life of crazy politico. I don't know what that's about either. Nope...So I guess I'm off to plan the Rt. 66 trip.
When I lived in Illinois, I used to drive around and listen to an album called "Heaven's Dust" by Ekova. There was one that went "When I was young and in prime..." And songs from Cats. I had a good cat then, too. It's weird all the little selves I created over these years in so many different places...

Mmmm

Christine de Pizan. A little bell makes a large sound. Clocks.

K

(K as in short for okay.) Okay now I am a good person. WHY am I a good person? I am a good person because I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY ALL MY BILLS THIS MONTH!
(That means the minimums. The minimums? Oh, especially good!)
Still. I have to take the good feelings where ever they come. Maybe when I move I will get better at prosperity.
:-D :-D :-D
I wonder what to do about some things. Like, I had a dream a while ago about FB friend. Actually I was trying to convince this dude to publish his stuff. The dude was too busy macking on some chick, who wouldn't listen to me unless the dude listened. I tried and tried and finally threw sand at him. (Then I felt weird several days later, when I saw some guy on TV who owns a record company and his own island, brandishing the beach sand for the camera.) Negative attention. Flipped upside down and started screaming. Hmmm. Well it wasn't exactly the most realistic dream. Thought about it before watching the MTV show about rich peoples' abodes. Was driving around, for some reason feeling like I could go to pieces. (I don't feel that way now.)I saw myself all shredded up, like confetti. What is the folktale about the two cats who claw each other to fur tuffs on a bridge? I imagined something more like colorful shiny bits of floating paper. As a kid I once threw sawdust at a boy going down a slide, in an attempt to enhance his experience. He ran to an adult daycare worker crying. That was me trying to be nice.
~~~~
The house sitting was good. I miss the cats. I even miss throwing the ball for the dog. (Over and over and over...) At night, in the empty house, I got unexpectedly creeped out by a seemingly benign mystery book: Killing Cousins. Then I channel surfed for an hour and felt better--enough to go to sleep. Also the presence of cats helped.
Another night, I saw a tiny bit of a show about haunted houses, which are part of a park of historic buildings in the British Isles. I wished it was just a show about architecture. I flipped to another channel. It was a show about a film festival. The words "I Am Love" and "Farewell" soothed me, also unexpectedly.
~~~~
Cooling. I noticed it playing after I drove past the man surrounded by onlookers as he lay still at the foot of the steps of the bank.

Life

Watching channel 69, which is public media. A play. Indian women acting/talking about being in America. Hmmm maybe it is acted out by the writer (with others on stage accompanying her.) I am in another part of Arlington, house-pet-sitting. A better neighborhood. I explored it, and went by a bank. A man had collapsed at the bottom of the steps. He was surrounded by people of all ages, children through white-haired, and both sexes, and then, when I drove by again, a firetruck and an ambulance. It's probable that he was no longer for this world.

Touchdown Jesus

Struck by Lightening.

Good grief

Town of White Squirrels.
"Laws on the Olney books grant squirrels the right-of-way on every street and sidewalk, and impose heavy fines on anyone who tries to take one out of town. 'Vigilant individuals' are encouraged, according to the town's bylaws..."
White Squirrel Wars.

Some TV; some thoughts

Harp Dreams.
(I think I have Harp Dreams.)
Ask Not.
(I recall being booed in highschool when I stood up when a guy asked what we supported...front row, my heart sank, less than ten standing, I'd say, in an auditorium of well over a thousand, and no one else in front, what an angry sound, maybe if I'd been a boy, someone would have beat me up for that?) Seems good to watch today, which is when I found out the President promoted that guy who was my Dad's classmate. Oh, career. I will be leaving my school without ever having met Ms. Biden, who works there, though I suppose I could have, and people there told me I could get a job teaching English, too. I was pretty sure I could. I mean, I couldn't have been flakier than the ones I met! Hmmm. Will it be weird to not be right next to some of this stuff? DC always seemed more interesting to me from a distance. Ah, Stephen Colbert. Too many of your shows have I missed. Thank you for rounding out the evening's TV-watching experience. I now have a strange desire to attend a revival. In a month, I believe I may be passing by the world's largest cross. (The face icon that pops up in the tab looks like his! Eerie.)

Wah, but interesting.

This guy sounds like he was worth meeting!
Larry Baggett's Trail of Tears Memorial.

Travel

I'm trying to figure out stuff for this road trip. Like, whether I should stay at the Precious Moments hotel again (and maybe see the "inspirational park" this time.) I'm not a Precious Moments connoiseur, but somehow ended up staying there twice. I didn't know what I was supposed to do in my life, and it was comforting, if price-y (for me.) I went swimming in the pool in the winter time, there were holiday decorations, and had a lavish fantasy that a large family in the lobby was actually a family I was a part of, like something in a Dickens story, or a past life, but also like we were all wealthy, and it was both completely lovely and quite sad, and thinking of it gives me a wee bit of nostalgia... (Note to self: e-mail that link. "It's on the way. I want to see it.")