Lit Lover: May 2017

"What the documentary does well, though, is critique a culture that allows young men to disregard other people’s humanity. One of the most fascinating characters in the film is Daisy’s brother Charlie, a star athlete whose whole worldview was shaken after he realized that his in-crowd status and his closeness with the other high-school jocks didn’t prevent anyone in that group from taking advantage of his sister. As for the guys who assaulted Audrie, when asked what they’ve learned from the whole affair, one says that he now understands that girls gossip a lot, and are easily embarrassed. That’s an odd and terrifying lesson for one man to take from a rape victim’s suicide: that something must be fundamentally flawed within women."

~ http://www.avclub.com/review/disturbing-audrie-daisy-examines-teen-sexual-assau-242843

Twelve sensible men and women

"TWELVE UNITED STATES senators have urged US President Donald J. Trump to 'delay' his invitation to the White House to Philippine President Rodrigo R. Duterte until Manila’s human rights record 'improves.'”

~ http://www.bworldonline.com/content.php?section=Nation&title=us-senators-urge-trump-to-defer-white-house-invite-to-duterte&id=145869

"The president’s spokesman did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Duterte’s latest remarks about rape."

~ https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/27/rodrigo-duterte-jokes-to-soldiers-that-they-can-women-with-impunity

"Duterte refused to apologise for his remarks. 'This is how men talk,' he said."

~ https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/17/philippines-presidential-candidate-attacked-over-remarks

Friday, May 26, 2017

Fruit changes

What fruits and vegetables looked like before we domesticated them

HeartsHeartsHearts

Great sister friends

Great boyfriend

Great cat

Is as does

PAUL

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/447689/paul-lepage-reforms-maine-welfare-good-model-nation

LE

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/05/the-people-who-are-left-behind-when-only-the-deserving-poor-get-help/528018/

PAGE

Oh.

https://theportalist.com/15-fascinating-facts-about-octavia-butler

To do

Octavia Butler exhibit / maybe events?

Like these music videos that also make you look at the lyrics...

Wondered if one could make it appealing to have song lyrics float into parts of a TV show...

Elysse777 ~ I Can't See New York (T.A.)

Elysse777 ~ Seaside (T.A.)

Elysse777 ~ Apollo's Frock (T.A.)

I saw this

VICTORIAN POSTCARD

stayed up too late again

Evergreen
Went to school in Olympia
Two Malibus

it did nothing for my throat

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Listen again, okay, sure...

"Seaside"

https://genius.com/Tori-amos-seaside-lyrics

And it's Floridian.

(Well I never saw that before either...
weren't you smart, reviewer back in 2004?)

Girls, take your hands like you pray
All over the ground then back on your body
Girls, take your hands like you pray
Through the blades of grass, gently, gently, gently

~ "Indian Summer"

https://genius.com/Tori-amos-indian-summer-lyrics

You're so sweet...

horseflies keep hangin' round your face...
https://metalrock.org/neil-diamond-brother-loves-travelling-salvation-show-19692017-hdtracks-320-kbps/

But maybe...

I had a sore throat but I like the idea of going back to sleep now.

And it is there

It feels like we need extra help.
Angel help. Ancestor help.
Bring love to the planet h egg lp.
Typo-loving help.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I am different

The cold has gotten better. I love music and feel like I would like to see Ariana Grande perform and get my nails done. Vaguely recall the inexplicable heavy depression / anxiety which hung over me earlier in the week and had me looking up emergency rooms (just in case) & then I lay in bed, time just passed, I just felt no relief and I DIDNT KNOW WHY. Finally I took an anti-anxiety and managed to fall asleep. When I woke I was somehow more normal again. I believe....

plusplus

+

http://www.whitewolfpack.com/2017/05/adorable-panda-cub-enjoys-extremely-fun.html?m=1

+

http://www.whitewolfpack.com/2017/05/girl-rescues-orange-seahorse-creature.html?m=1

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Love can be a Science song

Oh prostaglandin you're so done you're so done you blow my mind prostaglandin

PLUS

http://www.pcrm.org/health/health-topics/using-foods-against-menstrual-pain

THIS and yoga...

https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/comics/article/73451-marie-kondo-goes-graphic-with-life-changing-manga-of-tidying-up.html

Nice reminders

Thank yous from a young athlete and an older woman who said she loves "dirt therapy." (Gardening.) My lips are so chapped, despite repeated applications of chapstick. I am going to drink water and drench them in coconut oil. I will sing "Let her cry" to chapped lips.

I need to pray

Dear Mary and Jesus and Special Uterus Fairy, Now you know the cramps no one deserves are back. I did a castor oil pack or maybe a half-version of it. I have the heating pad. I took ibuprofen. Ginger tea is downstairs and it seems far away. I have a cold too. I want to be happy in this body. It's not the easiest body but I want to be happier in it. I want to eat better. Okay. Maybe cut down or cut out anything with wheat or dairy. My face hurts but some of the pain went away and I am grateful. Grateful,grateful, greatly grateful. Happy grateful day to you....

Monday, May 22, 2017

I am starting to think

that terrible panic attacks are not accidents.

I accept exhaustion

Part of me imagined getting better or getting vitamin shots but still. I accept exhaustion. Exhaustion is a legitimate response to life sometimes. That is okay. If I accept exhaustion, I just feel better. I am not fighting depression. I can accept exhaustion. Yay.

I should watch Slow TV one of these days.
I didn't like the tired depression. Now I have to be nice to myself and rest more. Or recuperate somehow. Chill. I think I must have some chemical make up that makes it so I have to do that more. I am trying to be better and not get health problems.

Women and Cats

Women
http://247wallst.com/special-report/2017/03/16/worst-paying-jobs-for-women/2/

Cats
https://ladyfreethinker.org/man-saved-entire-village-of-cats/

Indebted to...

Heating pad
Cotton fabric
Castor oil
Authors of websites
Ginger
Water

XXX

"I don't know why this culture is too sexist for you and I don't care. It's good enough for me and it makes me money. Lots of other people are fine with it too."

Also, birds

A strange noise like something beating against my window happened on Friday morning, and when I got up it looked like a bird was flying away, but I don't know what kind it was.

https://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/bird-signs-what-they-mean-when-a-bird-is-visiting-you

I am getting interested in cultural grieving

I feel like I almost can't believe how much a sudden death can shock me.

But in a way, isn't it normal to be super sad, instead of just being kinda sad and then cramming your brain full of the next entertainment as a distraction?

Although sometimes people need those distractions to make the day better or something.

Then there is also disenfranchised grief. Like when you have a grief about something like why don't these people care about grieving and homelessness, or grieving and childlessness, or grieving and veterans with ptsd...

Sunday, May 21, 2017

A trrreee

Walking around tonight was painful, like slogging through gray pudding. Also my face. Probably committing to healing process is a physical requirement of my existence.

And we all liked our coffee!!

Here is a place where I had such a good meeting with two guys on Saturday about some project stuff.

It's nice when that happens.

Doing stuff

I decided I could maybe listen to this song because it's still good for certain times and the creator would like it if I felt that way about it.

~~~~~~~

Que interesante

https://www.pri.org/stories/2017-05-09/women-veterans-are-finally-getting-their-due-cartoons

Not surprisingly

I have a cold.
Flurry of flower essences.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Goodnight~Goodnight

Love yourself

And your health.

show / books / singing / accents

Show:
http://snapjudgment.org/the-fall-guy

To read
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/303028.The_Geography_of_Childhood

Or reread:
http://ecolitbooks.com/2014/10/book-review-last-child-woods-richard-louv/

Singing:
http://www.yesmagazine.org/people-power/how-an-ancient-singing-tradition-helps-people-cope-with-trauma-in-the-modern-world-20170516

Accents:
http://www.yesmagazine.org/people-power/how-rez-accents-strengthen-native-identity-20170306

This...weekend...

The assignments and projects are temporarily like kids meaning it seems like I only get time to not think about or work on them in order to take a shower or while driving oh you made time to clip your toenails before 6 am on Saturday morning, that's good! (Nevermind they're not really.)

Friday, May 19, 2017

AMERICA

Silver lining...

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/editorials/la-ed-trump-environment-overview-20170515-story.html

Random Reflection

I am really glad I got parents who split up but they were much better friends with each other and also courteous to each other's new partners than most divorced parents of kids were...(that I observed.)

~~~

This was upsetting... I know people do come back...This is a weird time. When I went to get more oil for my car yesterday, a girl was chanting "help help help" while smiling and running in circles around a pole.

90~90~90?

90 days? http://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/how-youtube-yoga-classes-turned-me-into-a-yogi-almost/

Also interesting

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/marcia-clark-her-rape-scientology-878889

Haaaaa

Here, let me help. Start by imagining.... by M. A'Court

Ha

https://medium.com/migration-issues/yes-california-loses-people-to-texas-60ac993f93

Hmmmm....

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2017/05/19/unbreakable-kimmy-schmidt-continues-its-takedown-of-the-washington-redskins-name/?utm_term=.71a717f4c258

??????????

Food dreams

Laser hair torment

Baby ambivalence

Annoying moms

Vaginal steams

HERBAL EDUCATION

Visions

Tricky ancestors

Drugs

Hallucinations

Thursday, May 18, 2017

I got a text last night...

It said, "This is cool if you have 20 minutes."
the history of the entire world, i guess

Peaceful dreams

I dreamed I was with two people (man and wonan) of native ancestry and we were going to go to dinner. I had ideas like, let's go to a restaurant on the beach by the ocean, but then I was sitting next to them in a diner & they weren't hungry. The man drove us to an area where there was a big clearing/big sky overhead and lots of yellow flowers...very beautiful. And it felt like we flew around the area in circles. Then we all just laid on the ground quietly in front of native women who had some stalls set up, like there had been a market happening, but now they were in the process of closing the stalls down. There was some activity but it was quiet and not much in the way of talking was happening. Also I don't know if it was in a different dream but I remember something about a veteran (with native ancestry, maybe other ancestry too) in uniform talking into a camera and smiling, but I don't know what he was saying.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Medical conversations

X: I took 600 mg of Ibuprofen so I could sleep!
Y: Oh, because of those terrible cramps again?
X: No I burned my tongue on pineapple.
Y: This is why you can never do anything exciting.

Water is great

Cool.
Cool.
Cool.

Gahhhh

Dear Tongue Deva. Can I please be excused from this pineapple burn? Or whatever it is, it's not super nice. Tongue wasn't happy that I ate an enchilada. I wonder if I will have to go on a liquid diet. This is ridiculous. I think my body overdoes it sometimes. Especially on the right back part, like towards the throat and ear. The left part wasn't pleased but the right part is really not pleased.
GARGLE.
Coconut oil swish?

I think I will need some painkiller

The sides of my tongue hurt just that much!
Wow, pineapple.

I am in awe

Alex Tizon ~ My Family's Slave

Last night I burnt my tongue on too much pineapple

I saw this...and also this....and then this...

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Slooow

Slow mind.
Slow thoughts.
Drink enough water.
Think about knitting.
Snail.
Turtle.

High-way-things

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/get-your-kicks-route-66-museum-180963097/

+

http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/border-baja-california/sd-me-border-protest-20170107-story.html

+

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-bull-freeway-coco-county-20170328-story.html

Time to review

http://www.thewrap.com/red-road-review-good-actors-steered-astray/

http://www.thewrap.com/longmire-final-season-6-netflix/

~~~~~

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-red-road-review-20140227-story.html
&
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jun/02/entertainment/la-et-longmire-20120602

Wanting time to read

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/donald-craig-mitchell/wampum/
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
http://www.washingtonindependentreviewofbooks.com/bookreview/wampum-how-indian-tribes-the-mafia-and-an-inattentive-congress-invented-ind

Monday, May 15, 2017

Funny trip to the store

People working at the checkout were talking about Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Sir Launcelot

Love!

All the random love just bubbled up.

http://www.mountainwitchtea.com/puerhtea.html

Hmmm, tempted. Kind of pricey though?
But it makes 100 servings!

Crafty drink / diet sabatoge

Orange blossom

https://www.samueladams.com/craft-beers/seasonals/fresh-as-helles

Sigh!

"The mathematics of..."

This one

NEVER chases a red laser pointer...they bore her.

Fruits of warm climates growing over sidewalks...

is normal here.

Stretch, shrug

It can be quite interesting to think of dipping a toe in another industry and seeing what it feels like to work inside of it, but unfortunately when it comes to the film and show business industry there seems to be a sort of tax on some people. For example, wouldn't it be annoying to have to live a life where gossip magazines dog you? It seems like it would be very annoying.

Goals

See these two: Bolton Hall & WGF Library.

I love the internet right now

Begin a Career at 40! (Wes Studi)

Beat the Biological Clock

This green M & Ms legend or this green M & Ms legend?

I found some people again...

Music for a three-layer brain: Moira Smiley & VOCO at TEDxCaltech

Well...

Well well well well!

Southern California attire.
*****
http://www.medicaldaily.com/job-recruiters-interview-low-cut-top-390960

laterlaterlater

http://richheape.com/the-trail-of-tears.htm

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Wow

I am so confused right now. Record Breakers. But it's cool.

Kind of interesting

http://www.nybooks.com/daily/2016/01/12/girls-and-indians-garrett-price-white-boy/

Good blustery evening winds...

There was a man pushing a fancy pirate ship buggy around the park, which he probably built himself. Last year he pushed around a girl. This year he pushed around a boy. He is probably doubly-grandchilded.

Song sandwich with real food

Jimmy Mack

Stop here, take it home, save the rest for later.

Nowhere To Run

Every damn biblical day

I have a deep and abiding respect for this man's whole-hearted...
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/mike-pence-and-the-sexism-of-the-billy-graham-rule/521328/

Also, coffee shop

A) well I made my husband breakfast, even though it's mothers day, I made him breakfast.... B) my husband has a God-complex...JUST KIDDING!!! C) mother of your children...commitment...absolutely...careful...property...40 acres...

I see a musical man

It's a good day to go to a park and listen/watch a man with earmuffs play a trumpet beautifully. (And a musical person in this park, and a musical person in that park...)

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Sure you want to do homework tonight

80s Rock Star Temp Agency is especially great because the other day I got asked for directions to a Van Halen concert by some guy whose wife was, I believe, pregnant.

Oh I succumbed to an algorithm

Laura Marling ~ Soothing

Avante Black ~ Make a Mess

Girls on Bikes!!!

Mary Kay peach-scented hand cream and a terrible cat

She wants to jump all over your keyboard.

repeating

~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Fluffy Clouds

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
```````
``````
``````
``````

& a Noble Pils is "floral and dignified"

Good luck with this as a permanent achievement. Isn't there a reason that Buddhists have that belief that all life is suffering? Never heard/saw this before: Syntax ~ Pride. It made me want to say that if you had a brain that made it seem as if part of you was here before and perhaps you could go back and see people who knew you then but that is not what is going to happen because it would be awful and upsetting which means you are not going to see them again unless they die and also come back as different people, that's a very particular type of sometimes lonely. And if you were a man and came back as a woman, your life would change very, very, very much. So! This is the future or present reality of how some people might be seeing and experiencing things. There's still beer and the smell of firewood. There are still exquisite places of beauty in nature. There are spiritual places and temples to visit sometime. There is scented bathwash and sea sponges.

Also there are books that say sometimes a soul will have two earthly existences at the same time (it's in the book but not the interview.)

Parked on the sunny side!

SomethinSomethinSomethin

"Padma Lakshmi told V.F. that one message she’d send to this administration is, 'We love seeing beautiful women, we love ogling them, but let’s care about their insides too.'”

~ http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/05/hillary-clinton-planned-parenthood-gala-2017-meryl-streep-shonda-rhimes

I like my lungs and everything

I will breathe.

This is the thing: symptoms can triggger anxiety which then cause stress and possibly more symptoms. Well. It seems daunting when you're in the middle of it.

Maybe the breathing can take you out of it.
And ibuprofen...

Feeding another person's cats and left my essences at home. Darn...

I know this can get better. A lot of things get better!!!

I did have an essence in my purse.

I want to believe society will get better about caring about women's health issues.

I wonder if I should just do yoga and salad. I had salad last night. Probably didn't sleep enough? I am tired of paying the piper.

But things can get better.

I would like dizziness to clear up now

There's nothing like waking up with some vertigo and a pain around the right ovary to make you think, "It's a good thing I don't have to do hard labor in the fields all day today. I think I'd be dead. I'd have to stay back in Mexico and wait for the money so I could go to the curandera. "

I have to go to sleep...

30% of me feels like going dancing.
But sleep it shall be.

And natives too...

(From a nice Mother's Day venue a few weeks ago).

Friday, May 12, 2017

Park, figs...

Pah

http://time.com/3731483/barbie-history/

Weigh-woe

Way-ay-ay-woe.
Hope almost everyone in the world is having a splendid day as some of us lie on the floor and regret a good portion of our dietary choices.

Continuing...

Almost Live ~ 1950s Dad

H.E. ~ Women Keep Your Virtue

H.E. ~ The Conjugal Rights Guide

Somewhere in the 1950s a young girl is reading

& she is saying oh how wonderful they are. Oh to be such a fine writer. But how could I ever. I, a mere vagina. But the feminist movement will happen after she has kids.

Awesomely Sexist Pepsi Commercial From 1957

I don't understand women who act like all the sexism went away. It seems like a strange illness.

And all the Lord's superficial creations

Oh my god.

http://airshipdaily.com/blog/9232013how-ugly-was-henry-david-thoreau

http://www.adilawar.com

Thursday, May 11, 2017

I'm interested

Waking up (under) a decades old comforter and the cover is shredding itself.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/29/books/a-man-called-ove-fredrik-backman-sweden-success.html?_r=0

A woman said, "Don't worry about when you read it. The most important thing is that you enjoy it. It's yours!"

How you knew you needed something

...like higher self or chakra healing...
You woke up in a cloud of grief.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Pagliacci!

Mario Lanza ~ "Vesti la Giubba" ~ Pagliacci

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_the_First_Time_(1959_film)

After...

Smokey Robinson & "Tears of a Clown"

That storycat feeling

World's okayest pet

I feel like if people went around saying, "this bad behavior is okay because so-and-so was badly behaved in a previous existence" that would be extremely limiting.

By the way

Good grief.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/the-fix/wp/2017/05/10/trump-has-now-fired-3-officials-who-were-investigating-his-campaign-or-administration/

I hope for the best

Didn't sleep enough. My uterus is being weird so I have to get more healing-vibe with it now.

Sitting in a Tree...

...Ghost...Oblivion...

Song lyric quizzes are fun...

A) See you on a dark night
B) You're the only one who really knew me at all
C) All I wanted was a Pepsi
D) I was like, no please, stay here
E) Goodbye to you
F) All of the above!

Maybe F....No, probably A...But look through them all then choose A.

Tired and ready to do something

Like dragging yourself out to the doctor for the X-ray.

(It was costochondritis).

Kvetchy woman says

Complaining might mean you are frustrated, but it doesn't mean you don't care. There are people who want things to get better.

Panoramic

My is it late...

Challenging year, but it is good to think that better things are ahead.

Sometimes there are societal problems and sometimes there are individual problems.

And sometimes, certain individuals can change for the better, which may help improve society.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Time for deep therapy

As this goes on...

"In 1995, only six countries had such a marked imbalance of boys to girls. Today, 21 countries have a skewed sex ratio favoring boys. The growth of gender imbalance in only two decades points to widespread acceptance of modern technology that can predict the sex of the fetus, according to Hudson.

Technology has enabled even the poorest of countries to bypass the natural gender balance. 'It's largely due to the abortion of females,' says Hudson. 'But it's also due to passive neglect, such as underfeeding, underimmunization, and failing to take girls to the doctor when they're sick.'"

~ http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/08/26/434616512/selecting-boys-over-girls-is-a-trend-in-more-and-more-countries

What's the right age to introduce

Garfunkel & Oates ~ The Loophole

Back to their favored topic!!!

USA USA USA USA

"In animal husbandry, the word 'cull' means to remove undesirable animals from the herd — the scrawny and the sickly. To hear the word applied to human beings is harsh, but that's just how Valerie Hudson, professor in the Department of International Affairs at Texas A&M University, means it..."

~ http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/08/26/434616512/selecting-boys-over-girls-is-a-trend-in-more-and-more-countries

By the way

"The cost to adopt the Caucasian child was approximately $35,000, plus some legal expenses. 'Versus when we got the first phone call about a little girl, a full African-American girl, it was about $18,000,' Lantz says. The cost for adoption of a biracial child was between $24,000 and $26,000."

~ http://www.npr.org/2013/06/27/195967886/six-words-black-babies-cost-less-to-adopt

Sometimes suburban women are too busy hating on girls to talk about stuff that like.

Pregnant Women... By Garfunkel and Oates

Like a cleansing bath

Just walk into the big toy store and admire all the pretty gadgets and colors...let the power of good, clean, fun wash all over you, penetrating right through to your very soul.

Clearly

Donald Trump is president because hateful suburban women complain that girls are worse / harder to take care of than boys at their fancy baby showers.

Someone else might care

Who cares about those women's health issues. I hate it when people complain about stuff like that.

GREAT! So do the people who are running the country now!

Who cares about the environment. I just want money in my bank account.

OH! Well so do the people who are running the country...

Because you're awesome

Today you can run off with the pool boy, flatter some dudes' egos, get financially rewarded, and treat some women like shit.

You're still not feminist enough

How to be a successful, man-worshipping $$$cow$$$.

Successful man songs

Solsbury Hill, etcetra.

Oh, the almost thoughts again

Sometimes love of a subject is not enough.
Nature is a gift you lack appreciation for because you value superficial things. You were almost someone who was openhearted and used your intellect to help people but instead you were closed, corrupt, and untrustworthy. You help those who feed your ego and discriminate against the others.The memories of people putting down certain kinds of people, sucking up to your egocentric side, and an over-emphasis on monetary rewards...these do not speak of excellence to me. I found an environment where the men and women are better to each other. They help me more and they don't shut me out. Thank goodness for them. I wish you would be more like them. I wish you would believe it is worth it.

Monday, May 08, 2017

Closing eyes...

It's really time to get wise about being peaceful. I believe peace is more important. Even though there's external corruption, at some point you have to cultivate something inside that brings you peace. Maybe not everyone sees it or experiences it the same way...calm...calm...tranquilosate...

Change time again...

I feel ill. Headache. Icky feeling. It's a real physical thing.
The amount of sexist corruption is also so nauseating.
I feel like complaining anymore about it is not going to help right now.
I feel like it would be better to replace it with positive images
I have to do tea and ginger and headache remedy stuff.
I really want to feel better tonight and tomorrow.
Really, really, really, really, really...

Cultivate calm again

I want to do that.
The external world was getting stressy.

Ha-ha-ha.

It's really hilarious to me because I am constantly getting reminders that one environment just feels better or is more like "the right fit" for me and the other environment is not that way...but I guess...if you spent a lot of time and seemed like you were doing well enough in one...it's like...culture shock or something. Also, it might be kind of like leaving a family of alcoholics to go to a family that seems like it's functioning better. Or something.

It's a nice reminder that people care

I'm so happy I got the "Make America Kittens" thing on my browser.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trumpcare-pregnancy-fees-not-rise-for-erectile-dysfunction-a7720751.html

Almost Biblical

I hope I am never a man saying "good girl" to a woman who has no backbone with sexist men but she treats other women badly and caters to male egos because that's how she gets rewarded.

Tired of this message

"We don't give a shit about women's healthcare."

https://www.romper.com/p/how-much-do-maternity-riders-cost-the-ahca-could-make-them-more-expensive-56245

Maybe they don't because you don't.

http://www.businessinsider.com/andrea-mitchell-trump-health-secretary-tom-price-diversity-healthcare-bill-rose-garden-2017-5

Learning experiences

Sometimes I remember seeing a glimmer of compassion and openness and helpfulness and trustworthiness but instead those traits got killed off in a person, or even in a group of people. Who knows how or if they will ever come back. In this life there are the people you wish you could have admired, but you can't because they treated you badly and because there is too much corruption and sexism in their words and actions. Bias and discriminatory behavior which you didn't realize was there at first makes an ugly appearance. You meet people who you once thought you could've trusted, but instead they show you what you don't want to be like in this life.

Sometimes hurtful sexist behavior patterns and attitudes are engrained in seemingly "nice" people who could be men, but who could also be women. Sexism includes shaming, bullying and exclusion of people who don't gratify you and your personal preferences. You say and do sexist, derogatory things and then you convince yourself it's justified or act as if its all okay, but it's not okay. It's as if you damage people then lie to yourself about it in order to maintain control of what you think reality should be like. Why do you do that? Don't you realize how demoralizing that is? Who taught you to be like that? I really hope I never become like you.

Sunday, May 07, 2017

The hills were (and are) alive...

It's nice to read about what can be possible

"It’s about becoming more aware of differences, so that I can see the value in someone who doesn’t think, look, or act like me. It’s not easy. I’ve got to be more patient and open to ideas that I want to quickly squash and move on.

This new awareness has opened me up to feedback without getting defensive. More than anything, I deeply appreciate the women around me who are brave enough to tell me the truth about me, my business, and what I’m doing well or not so well."

~ http://fortune.com/2017/05/07/ex-microsoft-exec-male-dominated-industry/

"I just don't see all the bad stuff going on"

XY: Well I'll have you know that I am politically conservative, but I support feminist women.
XX: Oh, I am so glad. Whose your favorite feminist.
XY: Ann Coulter. The conservative feminist.

Maybe France learned from our poor example

https://www.vox.com/world/2017/5/7/15571666/french-elections-emmanuel-macron-marine-le-pen-front-national-vote-win

Ill-fitted for certain egos

She's so nice at first, as long as you don't expect too much of her or her heroes and she gets rewarded by men who don't mind at all if she treats other women badly. This is how you succeed in their environment.

He's so helpful to you at first, as long as you make excuses for all of his immature behavior and feed him compliments and act like he's the greatest at everything. This is what the other women in this environment do.

If you met them in different circumstances, maybe it would have been better.

Healthy change

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/5/5/15551504/ahca-womens-health-research-trump-male-cabinet

We need to stop complimenting / catering to / making excuses for mediocre sexist behavior.

It's very believable

Some people really don't care about the health of women, all people, or the environment as long as their immediate needs are being gratified.

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/05/153220/republican-healthcare-bill-affect-on-women

This is not okay.

https://qz.com/977083/trumpcare-there-are-no-women-working-on-the-senate-version-of-the-republican-healthcare-bill/

Did you ever have the urge to run...

....so you could raise awareness of patriarchal bargaining?* http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Patriarchal_bargain

Compliment the man* in power and get rewarded. Put his needs before your own and get rewarded. Ignore and devalue women who criticize the sexism in an environment and get rewarded for catering to the male ego. Accommodate those who expect you to be and act and think in certain ways and don't try to change anything and pretend it's all wonderful and okay. Just go along with the sexism and get rewarded. Hey, maybe it's just a good fit for your personality? Good enough for you.

*Sometimes the man is in power actually a woman. There are some very nice people on this planet who are still very sexist and devalue women and girls, and some of them are women. I had nice, kind, helpful women in my family tell me when I was a kid that I needed to defer to men and to make men the head of the household because that's what it says women are supposed to do in the Bible. These women were trying to do me a favor.

Sometimes certain types of privileged women don't have a high incentive to help out other women. It is easy for them to either ignore or treat other women badly if they want to succeed within the system when the men who running it definitely don't want to change or to investigate their own prejudices. They've been told it's okay to be this way. They want to be told they're doing a great job. If you know you're going to be rewarded for catering to their way of thinking, and penalized for criticizing their sexism, and you want to succeed within that system, what are you going to choose?

"Come here, look at this"

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/tips-not-condemning-millions-americans-sickness-an-55935

(It almost seems that if a person is so determinedly positive these days that he or she has neither experienced nor witnessed any moments of abject misery since the election, said person might want to consider attending some spiritual services...thought a person who got a chest x-ray and blood drawn and a short prescription for Xanax recently.)

LOGOPHILIAC EXPERIENCE NOTWITHSTANDING

http://www.belmarrahealth.com/costochondritis-exercises-diet-tips/

Emergency
Miaow
&
Miaow

Saturday, May 06, 2017

A cubicular upside down cupcake

www.ign.com/articles/2017/03/29/tetris-might-prevent-ptsd

RONNY LOST HIS HAND

AND HIS BRIDE IN

MOONSTRUCK

Maybe...

I will just be glad about everything that's happened up to this point. "Tomorrow is another day." Maybe this summer I will explore other parts of this region...

We can care

CARE

http://www.businessinsider.com/tina-fey-message-for-white-women-for-trump-2017-4

CARE

https://www.aclu.org/blog/speak-freely/health-care-bill-house-just-passed-makes-being-woman-pre-existing-condition

CARE

https://www.vox.com/2017/5/4/15547058/preexisting-conditions-trump-aca-ahca-repeal-women

CARE

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/05/153127/sexual-assault-domestic-violence-preexisting-conditions-ahca

CARE

https://www.pri.org/stories/2017-05-05/how-trumps-latest-budget-impacts-women-and-girls-classrooms-cops

Mmm.

It's pretty hard to trust people who make excuses for immature, unethical, biased and untrustworthy behavior, whether it be others or their own. Did they have to deal with abusive situations as they were growing up? Did they develop certain patterns of behavior in order to survive? It is probable.

"Stop it, just move on, those were not your people."

When a brother is not a sister

When his childhood was so bad that he ingested very sexist ways of viewing and treating women, which he is enabled to do by women who apparently don't expect anything better. Maybe because they benefit in some way from playing along with it, or they like being second-class citizens, or at least they don't care that some women are treated worse than others?

Sexism from men is bad enough, but when it's also from women it is too much to deal with.

Veterans

Status post
Pulled over
Jesus post

Whose brand of optimism is

Raul' s?

http://time.com/4769830/raul-labrador-gop-congressman-nobody-dies-health-care/

People who say they don't care about your healthcare remind me of

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/06/opinion/sunday/trump-hazardous-to-our-health.html

people who don't care about your health.

On another page...

"I am a man and I need feminism"

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/men-feminism-equality-equalrights-civilrights/693394/

A "They don't need..." sandwich

They don't need...

http://womenagainstfeminism.com/

They don't need...

/;\

From a certain perspective, it looks this way:

If your primary fulfillment is based on monetary rewards and conformity to certain social expectations...

and if you then end up in a system which happens to be a traditionally male-dominated environment, and if, within that system, modes of behavior which are unnecessarily bullying, deceitful, biased, exclusionary, self-aggrandizing, and derogatory towards others are excused, rewarded and even praised by both both men and women in that environment...

Then, as long as there are financial rewards or social benefits to reap, the incentive to change that behavior to be more inclusive of people with different viewpoints is probably not going to be very high. Why would would it be, when there are so many perks and benefits for keeping on as it was or has been for quite some time?

But I wish that the change would happen anyway.

Welp...now what.

Wow, I can't sleep. But I need to. I guess I feel like saying that it is not my job to compliment a person on adopting a faux, hard, controlling persona when I know that person could be more flexible than that, and I don't care how many compliments a phony, tough, hypermasculine exterior elicits...its definitely not my job to prop it up, especially if it made me get more alienated...its probably not even all that healthy for the one who gets complimented on it...I recommend King Lear and Taming of the Shrew for homework.

A certain dynamic

There may be more to it...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchal_bargain

Where I don't feel this type of dynamic so much is where I feel happier and as if I am around people who seem like they are more open to me.

http://feministing.com/2015/06/12/the-reality-of-patriarchal-bargain/

Friday, May 05, 2017

OK then

http://www.vocativ.com/300074/chemical-exposure-women/

WILL

http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21721394-will-revoking-liquor-licences-make-any-difference-alcoholism-epidemic-among-lakota

STOP

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-04-racism-mass-incarceration-health-fuel.html

NOW

So much body interference

http://www.thealternativedaily.com/exposure-banned-pesticides-may-increase-risk-endometriosis/

Like whenever I was suffering from horrible pains / throwing up in a waste basket, I really should have been more grateful about how those chemicals make some people so much money.

https://endometriosisnews.com/2017/05/03/five-ways-food-drinks-may-impact-endometriosis/

Or maybe just eaten something different.

I didn't recognize this acronym....

MRKH

http://grecialopezla.blogspot.com/2015/02/living-with-mrkh-inside-our-bodies.html?m=1

Pattern?

It's truly weird when some people (especially a group of people?) think that if something (or somebody?) is disturbing the status quo, that if you just cast off a person or forget about whatever is/was troublesome, that this will magically fix it all.

See, to me, that doesn't seem like the thing to do...And, more and more, partly because the kinds of things that keep coming up in my studies, that actually seems a lot like what colonizers do to people they oppress. They mistreat people, and then they want to forget about it, and then they try to erase that part in their minds and pretend it never existed or never happened.

Does that actually work?

No...I mean, not really. Perhaps in the short term, but...long term? I don't think so. Even if that person or that situation is gone...if it never got resolved, do you think that situation won't ever come back?

And then I ask myself...Why do some people do that?

I have a guess that some people do that because maybe that's what they had done to them in their childhoods and they never resolved it and then they repeat the pattern. They learned it somewhere or from somebody, usually. It is a behavior that they absorbed from someone or from some situation.

YYYY

https://notalwaysright.com/epic-fight-positive-negative/66679

XXXX

https://notalwaysright.com/even-supportive-cakes-need-time-bake/66507

Revisit your darlings

http://goodbooksandgoodwine.com/2010/08/review-of-my-darling-my-hamburger-by-paul-zindel.html

Darlings

http://jezebel.com/342967/my-darling-my-hamburger-i-will-gladly-pay-you-tomorrow-for-a-dc-today

Revisited

http://www.npr.org/2012/04/17/142313959/the-wrong-crowd-a-tale-of-teens-behaving-badly

Technical difficulties

The TV, which I never watch, is not working properly and it's stuck on four channels, so instead of finding a peppy morning talk show I watched the end of Hamburger Hill.

>:^[

Healthy grudges invigorate alpine meadows.

Something to study for the rest of this life

https://www.thebalance.com/how-crude-oil-prices-affect-gas-prices-3306230

Elevator scene

Something about this Comey clip on The View makes me think of either Pete Campbell or perhaps...

MM ~ Not Great Bob!

Early a.m honorifics.

Little Miss Pissed Off
https://www.mrmen.com

Pre-existing

CONDITIONS

Paying to soothe dad's feelings again

Brainwashed by the patriarchy

Your husband's money

Boy's club B.S.

Thursday, May 04, 2017

I guess we're a musical nation

http://www.businessinsider.com/democrats-chant-at-house-gop-after-ahca-vote-2017-5

I bet they are

http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-back-alleys-working-expand-available-servi-55928

$$$$$$$$$$

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-doctors-think-of-republican-healthcare-plan-2017-5/#american-hospital-association-the-latest-version-of-the-ahca-continues-to-put-health-coverage-in-jeopardy-for-many-americans-6

***********

http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/04/health/medical-associations-health-care-bill/

But wait

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-healing-herbal-teas-will-have-do-some-heavy-fuck-5346

Can we get a super penis-worshipping tea? Oh god, please recommend the best penis-worshipping tea! Not horny goat weed. Something much stronger. Like what the actors in all the best porn videos drink. Lots of gagging sounds.

This sounds like satire, and it's REAL

"'Republicans in Washington, D.C., are jubilant. The Hill reported that Republican leadership was blasting the theme music from Rocky before the vote. Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy read quotes from General Patton, while Arizona Republican Martha McSally shouted, 'Let’s get this fucking thing done!' President Donald Trump held a boisterous press conference in the Rose Garden, where he declared an 'unbelievable victory.' Crates of Bud Light rolled into the Capitol."

~ https://newrepublic.com/article/142512/donald-trump-paul-ryan-going-regret-repealing-obamacare

I must ask why

a bunch of heartless old shadow puppets are fucking up women's health care & why do women have to do all the emotional work for careless men (or hey, how about for some careless women too) & whose sense of irony is at work since they played a commercial for erectile dysfunction as I read this article...

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

BOK

I have to read this (sometime next week maybe?) It was placed in my hands tonight and several people want to know what I think of it.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18774964-a-man-called-ove

omg omg omg

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/a_man_called_ove/

later

Oil and San Pelligrino

I'm so tired, I almost poured it directly into my car but divine intervention screamed "Put the filter in first! Put the filter in first!" at the last crucial moment.

I mean actually it was the funnel but I knew what it was trying to tell me.

Who knew

this even existed...

https://patient.info/health/costochondritis

Tuesday, May 02, 2017

Potentially...

Sufferers are healers-in-training, something whispered. Let's heal this illness.

Breathe...

And the burnout symptoms said, I think we need prayer. I hope we get healed and for the rest of this life and I mean really. Really. Really... I don't even know how it got to this point. Too many triggering stories but not enough deep breathing, possibly.

So cyclical

Now the life is like: you need the healing vibes.

Take that tincture with pleurisy root in it.

Lie down for a while.

Monster Rally ~ Color Sky

Oh goody

Everyone's better than you-know-who.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/02/politics/donald-trump-shutdown-tweet/

I heard there's a secret undercover movement of brothers calling out other brothers on their very stupid behavior. And I heard it also involves rainsticks, drums and cupcakes.