Learning experiences

Sometimes I remember seeing a glimmer of compassion and openness and helpfulness and trustworthiness but instead those traits got killed off in a person, or even in a group of people. Who knows how or if they will ever come back. In this life there are the people you wish you could have admired, but you can't because they treated you badly and because there is too much corruption and sexism in their words and actions. Bias and discriminatory behavior which you didn't realize was there at first makes an ugly appearance. You meet people who you once thought you could've trusted, but instead they show you what you don't want to be like in this life.

Sometimes hurtful sexist behavior patterns and attitudes are engrained in seemingly "nice" people who could be men, but who could also be women. Sexism includes shaming, bullying and exclusion of people who don't gratify you and your personal preferences. You say and do sexist, derogatory things and then you convince yourself it's justified or act as if its all okay, but it's not okay. It's as if you damage people then lie to yourself about it in order to maintain control of what you think reality should be like. Why do you do that? Don't you realize how demoralizing that is? Who taught you to be like that? I really hope I never become like you.