Today unplanned

I stayed indoors all day. I did not intend to do that. It's hard to leave the house. I might be able to but it's hard. I think this is trauma. It's living in a world that allows and sanctions such immensely corrupt behavior. It's like living in a book I didn't want to read. That both men and women would allow this chills me and it's not what I thought would happen. I feel worse than I thought I would. I have to find some good reasons to feel better and to get back to normal somehow.