oh yes, it's joke day

somebody had to have written this based off of a dream:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/busch-gardens-unveils-new-9600milelong-endurance-c,36691/


but that was from last year, these are from this year:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/costcutting-measures-force-company-to-start-hiring,38334/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-baked-banana-bread-spends-entire-party-anx,38308/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/avoiding-popular-songs-somehow-accomplishment-for,38338/