I'm still trying to keep the cat in more tonight on account of any possible fireworks and she is mournful.
"You Don't Have To Be A Baby To Cry" - The Caravelles
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UkHCoLXmXp4&si=D85BFX3NojhR9kDF
And I never became the beautiful hippie - looking mom with a baby in a sling walking around a crystal shop in Mount Shasta with the story of how Arvigo massage healed my my infertility and created a miraculous child in my womb because I guess that wasn't the right setup for me for some reason. Even though bunch of moms who were my students would come up to me and say "Oh you should have kids. We can tell you will love it." And I would say I don't have enough money to have kids and they would say "Don't worry about the money." Easy for them to say, maybe. Instead I got confusion and cramps and floods of past life memories and... Now I don't even know if I'm ever going to bleed again. But I don't know, if I look at it in the right way, there's something poignant about having that whole experience too. Maybe I was cultivating a new person.
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