Just accept reality. Gross and sickening, but there it is.

"My wife dehumanizes other human beings because I'm not a very nice guy, and that's the best way for her to be able to get along with guys like me." 

"Also, we both have lots of unexamined notions of racial superiority in our heads, as well as loads of internalized misogyny."

"We're just trying to live our lives, and we do what we can to make the best of it."