So, it seems to me that many people need to heal with not just others, but also with themselves

They have been given all sorts of messages that being mean to themselves would help them to survive somehow, but they can have a better life, and be nicer to themselves, and then if they want to also connect with others as a way of enriching their lives, it will be so much easier for them if they can just re-learn how to be very good to themselves in a healthy and balanced way.