When some people still feel the need to make excuses for unkind, abusive behaviors in order to fit in with others, or to maintain a certain kind of lifestyle, or to "have a career" in a particular industry, there's toxic trauma dynamics at work in regards to how they decided to make those choices. It can be a lot to process. But it shouldn't be surprising that some people won't be able to just go along with those really unhealthy patterns.
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