Trauma is wily, sometimes, isn't it.

If some supposedly privileged people who have been deeply influenced by patriarchal cultural values still want to deal with life by being exceedingly insensitive, narcissistic, rude, selfish, and even rather milquetoast about some kinds of violence in certain situations, then I am sorry they can't see a better way of doing things. Because they are capable of better. I believe they would be nicer to themselves in the long run if they worked on healing from their own traumas, too.