I don't know why, but humans can really confuse themselves...

...and each other, when they are dealing with their own traumas.

In the morning, it was impossible to be as I am now. Now, it is much better. I can see I have many things to work on. But I was so distracted. "That really happened and it was so terrible and I can't stop feeling how unfair it is." Some of it came up because of what I had been reading lately. It all seemed so much more vivid now than it had been in the past. It seems as though I let trauma from the past inside, and it was steering everything, and it was not the first time that had happened.

I had to go out, so I used some pressure points to relieve anxiety, which actually did help. Acute anxiety that makes you feel like you can't go on also cannot last forever. I nearly missed a dental appointment, but I was able to process things. Eventually, I told myself "People wouldn't have wanted you to be stuck in their worst times and traumas, and they would want you to heal, and your healing can help humanity more." I believed that. It helped, and I think I am better state of mind now. 

I am a beginner. I don't have it all figured out. Perhaps I want to be so skilled at getting better at healing internal trauma that it's not reliant on how others (who are dealing with their own traumas) are acting, or if they are being "understanding." Learning and growing and being able to change little by little is the best I am able to do for now.