What if they had to learn to be nice to anyone who was grieving?

They seem like they'd be cruel to grieving mothers, or to any human. Like genocidal people. They are that excessive in their insensitivity. 

They don't act that way because they love others.

Would the patriarchal people who still rely on cruelty to get by in life even learn how become better to others if they had to be nice to grieving mothers? Or would that be something they'd fake, too?

How about the people who are "from that culture they were trained to ignore or dominate." Would they ever get to that in this life? Or will such an opportunity have to wait until the next lifetime for those patriarchal people?