Maybe it's genetic, but I simply cannot imagine being rewarded for being so "superior genetically" (according to bigoted patriarchal standards) SO much in this lifetime that I'd have to constantly act like some self-centered narcissistic predators are more important than all the other people who are actually being quietly helpful and not needlessly dehumanizing others on a regular basis.
So is that why the carefree, fun, spontaneous energy dies out for some people, sometimes?
Plus it seems it is not my talent to prop up any unwell patriarchal person's giant, insecure, no amount of attention or money will ever be enough to satisfy their greed, EGO.
It just feels like I do have that talent right now.
It is kind of sad, because it feels like I know that certain people used to be reasonably trustworthy (?) but then, they chose to change, to fit in with Certain Unhealthy Patriarchal Standards that could hurt and even kill a lot of people, actually.
It's just that the Patriarchal Ones are so used to unseeing the toxicity, that it doesn't bother them very much, I guess?
One can almost see how others looked away from genocidal tactics in the past, just by witnessing their behavior patterns?
But that's not fun. At all.
And now, some of the ones who used to be okay, it's like they're still so addicted to or entrenched in operating their lives from that overly controlling mindset, that they just seem utterly unable to stop doing it. MAYBE THEY DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW.
And I do not have a magic wand to wave to help act like a more caring human being again.
It feels really unhealthy for me to be around that kind of dynamic right now.
It seems that I do not have the right genetics or frame of mind to deal with them at this time.
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