It feels like

you're treated better by sexist men when you are a man or a woman who accommodates the sexist behaviors of some men and woman.

Of course those men and women weren't born sexist. Perhaps they learned over time that being sexist would be more financially lucrative for them as they became adults?

The patriarchy wants you to care more about sexist people than you care about how not so sexist men women and children fare in society. 

It is so sad when it seems you make a lot of excuses for those who get rewarded for treating people badly, not because they were born that way, but because over time they took on the characteristics of toxic masculinity in order to "succeed", and that's a great disservice to a lot of people who deserve much better.

This is still a problem. You become numb and you unsee things in order to get paid and to survive in a toxic and unhealthy system. 

It is indeed cruel.