Can't do this either

Nope!

https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/articles/a41956/doctors-rule-menstrual-cramps-as-painful-as-heart-attacks/

No ma'am

http://bukowskisbasement.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-if-bukowski-wrote-peanuts.html?m=1

Not gonna sell

https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2018/03/02/comparing-period-cramps-with-heart-attacks-isnt-useful-or-accurate/