A raspy throat of grief?

Well I got a cough drop and a heating pad and ginger tea after I woke up with fresh insult. Pain like cramps, and a raw throat.
I said to myself, I have been getting over a bad flu, and somone I know is gone, and now you dare give me this? Well. Maybe my chest is improving at least. Behind the melting cough drop maybe there is a scream but I just want it to soothe and crying is in all my cells. Let it be. Pretty song. My body grieves more than my mind wants it too. Why is this pain here now. Isn't it enough already. This is excessive, and its the real authentic grief experience and I am getting sick and tired of it. So scream and cry away, girl and then please embrace sweet peace at least and give me a good healing rest. I want this healing to happen very badly now. If I have good reason to cry, I should have just as good reason to heal. Listen to me and get on a healing wavelength. Please and now.