It's not simply about one thing

I read all afternoon. I put upsetting things at a distance. I drank wine and coffee at night. I read more. I tried to watch some of The Patience Stone. Maybe the room was too dark. Caffeine is bad sometimes. No more. No more. No more pretending. Panic attack. I made a tamale to try to settle my stomach and swallowed herbal remedies and an essence. It helped. I am not keening. I was internally fried. I am getting better now. No more pretending. No more...other people's unhealthy standards...No. It's done.