there's a word

...crestfallen...

when you thought something could be...
but a certain behavior came out
it was disappointing, but more
almost like suffering an ailment...

men who are taught to degrade
the feminine sides of themselves
will be disrespectful to others...
maybe inadvertently, who knows?
but that is not happiness

if women would cover for a
someone because he would
have more power to decide
but they wouldn't help her
then that is not admirable...

it was a painful feeling
it felt like a betrayal
it felt like being outcast

the women who are taught...
what? I don't know anymore
tolerate it, and tolerate it, and
I don't know why, mother universe
lullaby, lullaby...lull...lull...lull...

a little here,  a little everywhere
suddenly it all became the wrong
situation to be in for some reason...

swim towards something better...
towards something more healing...