Attempt to be philosophical

This evening I went by the old place and did not see that cat. Instead, conversed with her owner. Yes, the universe will make me talk not only to cats but to people.

Then I thought I'd be boring and study at the coffee house...and the guy from last week was there again. SIGH. He said something like, "It's been a long time!" And I was thinking, oh, this would be less awkward if you were that kid from the other place who stacked chairs because he thought I worked there and then followed me out into the parking lot and made jokes and said I was beautiful.

But it wasn't so bad.

So that's the difference between those guys and a great artist who gets pissed off at you for not listening to his ideas, and follows you around for weeks and doesn't seem to respect you. That's the difference. Those guys were a lot nicer. They didn't have super mean thoughts about you for ignoring them or acting like you didn't want to talk to them. They were NICER. Just NICER. Moreoever, I know those guys don't have entourages of people who treat them like a genius and make excuses for their bad behavior because they are talented and famous. They may be talented, and they may one day be famous, but probably not. AND I think that if women are friends with a "genius" and know he was not good with women in the past but make too many excuses for him, that is very misogynistic. It is misogyny by women perpetuated against other women. I'm pretty sure at least half of the misogyny in the world is perpetuated by women. People make mistakes, and forgiveness is good, but sometimes they should be better about owning up to them, and they should not have hoards around them making excuses for their bad behavior and that is what I don't like about glamour and fame. YUCK, I say, YUCK to all of that. And by the way...tenure is also kind of suspect. It seems very easy to abuse that power, based on what I saw/experienced.  Academic environments are suspect. Even though they are also wonderful places.

But anyway. This guy at the coffee house might be there a lot and I don't want to quit going, so I talked to him and was nice to him when he came over. He brought up my age. I told him I thought we were about the same age. He said he was low 30s. I said I was older than that. He said "How old?" Then I told him. Then I asked him his age again. Yes, we are the same age.

He was kind of wistful. I said I live with my boyfriend and he joked "Do you think he'd make breakfast for us?" He said I had a nice look about me and kept wanting to talk, but he didn't get too weird about it. And I will keep going to that place because I like to study there. So I'm not the witch who freaks out about getting approached, if the person is relatively respectful.

I really am disappointed by how some women will make excuses for men's bad behavior, though. Men don't deserve a medal for not touching someone. Following a person around to the point where that person is made uncomfortable is not respectful to that person, especially when it's done with a "how dare you ignore my very important ideas" demeanor.

I think half the problem I have is with the way women make too many excuses for bad male behavior. If some guy did that to their niece or daughter, I'd hope they would hold a much higher standard.