something sneaky...

I think I have a sneaky/funny plan.
I will be that miracle story of that person who gets pregnant.
BUT THEN
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
I'll just say I gained lots of weight.
No baby showers.
Especially no baby showers with mediocre middle classing bitching about "how hard it is to raise girls and how much better it is to have a boy," by the way. All doctor appointments will be secret.
Then, when baby appears magically (ha ha) and people ask questions, I'll lie and say "This is my foster child!" Or "We adopted."

I think that's an awesome lie, and exactly what society deserves.
I feel good about that.

What. Some people have weird senses of humor.