Hard things

I have had a few whiskey sours. Bf (who doesn't usually drink them) was making some in a silver Rose Bowl thermos. The thermos is good because it lets you shake and then strain the drink at the same time, through the top nozzle. I told him I was disturbed today on the trail and why. He says, "Well, you don't know." And "Context is everything." But later I stood by him as he was on the computer and said "I am going back to that part of the trail where I encountered them, and put out some very specific vibes." He said, "You do that." And then he tipped back his head and gave a very cute and serious look. For a second, I could have almost cried. I said, "I will." If I met a predator on the trail today, that is not something I am going to ignore. I am going to tell other people about it. That guy, if he did something harmful, is not going to get away with it. That girl was old enough to talk and know if it was bad. And there were other kids there. I am going to keep an eye out, in case I see him/them there again. I didn't get a very close look. But I generally remember his appearance. He was taller than I am. His face was square-ish and narrowish and blondish-grizzly, and I think he wore glasses. It was not a friendly face. It was cynical, sarcastic, and bitter. I know because when I was creeped out by what he said, I tried to look at him a little bit, to smile a bit as if to laugh it off and he was not laughing as if it were all just a joke. He did not want to look at me. He did not want someone like me to get in his way. People cannot take their bitterness at life out on children.
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I went to the mirror and tried to see what my face might have looked like. My "I'm trying to smile even though I think what you said is creepy" face does not look very smiley. It looks more like a frown. I'm trying to laugh but I'm frowning is what it looks like. Or maybe, I'm trying to swallow something but I'm not swallowing it.