He heaves himself off his hemorroid donut... he takes three viagra, a beta blocker and an eye dropper full of blood thinner. He then climbs onto his beloved like a pile of laundry on top of another pile of laundry. Then, his penis, ERECT IN DEFIANCE OF GODS WILL, enters the woman like a tube of chapstick entering the Lorray Caverns. Then, nine months later, a baby is born. Which I will illustrate by pushing this uncooked cornish game hen through these gray drapes.
From owlcaponed on Reddit
Original source is apparently someone with the interesting name of "Patton Oswalt."
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