meow meow meow

My old cat is not very happy with his mean old guardian, who shoves pills and antibiotics down his throat and takes him to the the vet to get operated on. In honor of his irascible yowl, I think I'm going to make a tiny list about military or militant types who become guardians.

Here is my short (limited to two-a-piece) list of dos and don'ts. The don'ts first.

Don't:
(1)Decide to utilize special pressure point technique you were taught to use on "the enemy" as a form of subduing a child that aggravates you.
(2)Make your child (esp. if she is a girl of a certain age) ride around in a car half naked in public for a long time, (very embarressing) because you are that mad she spilled a milkshake all over her shirt and the backseat or whatever.

So, those are two "Don'ts."
But...here are some "Do's!"

Do:

(1) Teach your kids to jump off the diving board like a paratrooper
(2) Teach them to sing:

I have a pretty girl
She is an army girl
And I'd buy her anything
to keep her in style
She has a pair of eyes
just like two mud pies
Soldier, that's where my money goes...

I have a pretty girl
She is an army girl, etc...

She has a long long nose
just like a garden hose
Soldier, that's where my money goes

She has a pair of hips
just like two battleships
Soldier, that's where my money goes.