Pages

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Truth in a body


I love you, heating pad!!!!

"Dividing...

Canaan"


Datura ~ T.A.

What was known in a quiet country store on an island where cats left fur on merchandise...or twenty years later, in a swimming pool surrounded by wire outside a dark condo in Virginia...isolation (the good kind).

No, not solitude that is chosen. Isolation...for it also felt forced and lonely but strangely good nonetheless.

It a feeling...it exists in the in-between place. I wonder if there is a word for it in another language.

I have a feeling it's like what a monk who sometimes experiences regret but nevertheless is choosing the life of deep introspection might feel...

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

What could be

A cleansing wind wrapped around a peach and blew through each hurting dripping crying tale of wounded betrayal.

Pretty good, huh...


contemplatecontemplatecontemplate

+

buyingastringinstrumentandlearningsomechords

Guess what

I stay up on Saturday night reading about chakras and GI health and that's what I do!

Oh maybe I will

buy an anatomy coloring book.

Is there one for emotional anatomy...

I know other people have worse things to deal with.

I'm not having the greatest time today.

Whine, wail, misery. That's what the left side of pelvis communicates.

Off and on
Off and on
Off and on

Today is sad music sometimes.

Hmm.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/chronic-pain-not-only-hurts-it-also-causes-isolation-and-depression-but-theres-hope/2015/01/12/db576178-7fe7-11e4-81fd-8c4814dfa9d7_story.html?sw_bypass=true&utm_term=.7612d7677f96

Actually mantras and stuff

are gonna be my go-to.
This pain sucks. I am chewing on ginger.
Yesterday was better than today.
Maybe this is the worst part.
Sometimes you have to do more for your body than society taught you.
Or find alternate societies.

Cuerpo de mensajes

What is it this time? Intestine or fallopian tube? Shall I buy you an anatomy coloring book? I did spend some money to go swimming yesterday, you know. The pool was heated and it was the middle of the day so I had to figure out how to do the hot yoga version of laps and appreciated the foam kickboard.

Anyways, sorry about the carelessness with dairy, wheat, fructans, etc.

************************

Wait a minute. It's on the side where they found an ovarian cyst.

The Californians: Thanksgiving

Maybe the fructans aren't to blame!

Debbie Downer Thanksgiving

Or are they...

Stuck in your head...

Your head's to blame..............

"...by Thanksgiving my heart belonged to--is it funny or sad that I can't remember his name? He was Prince Charming, the only one I have ever known. He was from Chicago, he was visiting his sister, he was an Older Man, a graduate of the University of Chicago, he must have been all of 24 years old; his manners polished until they glittered, he drove a phaeton..."

(Rose Wilder Lane, p. 35, A Wilder In The West, ed. W. Anderson)

Breathe

I will. I woke up with anxiety about several things and I read some kind words and I felt some relief. I am blessed. Really just a few kind words can be such a balm.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

A conversational topic

You can talk about acting on feelings. About how trendy it has been for many (perhaps not all) women to be penalized and suppressed and berated for acting on theirs while many (perhaps not all) men are indulged and indulged and indulged... Women and panic disorder

It's a reminder

I had a nice dinner in a quiet restaurant although maybe I ate too much. "But you only had half your dinner. I had all of mine." Suddenly those awful jittery feelings... Oh. Two glasses of tea. Is this why. Really??? Cannot express how good lying in bed looks. Alternate title: how to accidentally turn a nice evening into a panicky rollercoaster. CAFFEINE SENSITIVITY. Auuuuuuugh https://www.livescience.com/6252-caffeine-sensitivity-increase-age.html I need to find the others

Why does this look yummy



J. Martinez ~ How to Crochet a Snowflake

Mmm.

Some people on TV were quite livid about the behavior of so-and-so in the waiting room this morning...felt fine, then thirsty / nauseated...then a discussion of results, referral, possible MRI...health will have to come first.

Programming?

T.A. ~ Purple People ~ 2017, Frankfurt

"You will have an identity if your body has a baby for the Empire."

Why?

"You will succeed in this system if you diet and become a cheerleader and act like a 1970s airline hostess."

No.

Something....questionable...

Whether or not people who found a niche in a flawed system have very much interest in changing it.

If they got rewarded and reaffirmed as long as they kept playing the game and applying selective filters to screen out any evidence that anything was out of balance...

...then what kind of impetus do they really have to change or let in new people, new information, and new ways of approaching things?

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Dear you

You could take better care of yourself and accomplish things and be ahead of your time and follow your intuition and give peace a chance and...

Liked this...

Amos on Soul Sisters 2017

Kinda wish I could go to one of the shows but for some reason the need to stay home and crochet might be stronger...

Friday, November 17, 2017

Nanowrimothoughtmo

When were all children...
Hey now...
(Crowded House)
Bet that's the first time I watched that one

AhhhAhhhAhhh...

It was the sort of Friday where you just lay in bed, drinking milk thistle tea, smelling burnt eggs, playing with your phone, wondering if the doctor would or would not recommend an MRI, or if you could just take care of things with diet, exercise, herbs, etc.

Who wants a super duper learning experience type of body.

Wow again

Do you think these women want to help women...

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/roy-moores-wife-president-trump-owes-us-diverting/story?id=51229306

They're absolutely brainwashed, making excuses for abusive behavior, and refusing to see that they should expect better.

But then, this is good to revisit, too...

https://nylon.com/articles/evan-rachel-wood-essay-donald-trump-gaslighting-abuse


Little things, good things. Bright things, gentleness...

and survival of...me...

Today I dreamed of talking to a man I met who is now gone (he died too young!) about eating sandwiches. When I woke up, I was sick.

Eventually I went back to sleep and dreamed I was talking to my boyfriend about the previous dream. "But we were only talking about eating sandwiches," I said as he sagely nodded.

After that I also dreamed that a motherly woman told me what's going on with my health is not normal. Duh.

The state of my health seems to tell me that the old ways don't work for some people. Being "tough" can misfire. It messes with people's chemical make up. It hurts their hearts. It can send them to an early grave.

We need to find better ways of dealing with things in life. Humans with different genetics should be able to survive and even thrive.

Forgiveness oh

We need peace, healing, and gentleness.
I need it now.

I forgive.
I forgive myself.
I forgive more than just myself.
I forgive.

I will come back and forgive again.

So valuable

All the steps we make towards healing.
I am sorry I suffer but all the steps we make towards healing are so valuable.

Even if I have moments of suffering.
Peace and love are the most important things.
I want to get better very very much.

I pray and pray

I wish I felt better. So much better.
I am unwell. But can get better.
Brothers and sisters, heal yourselves.
Hot face and feel sick.
You deserve better and I hope you....

Heal....

Can't sleep???

Worry about loved ones!
Worry about others!
Worry about self!
Boy, worrying sure can fill up some timespace, amirite? Yes indeedy...

Lunch hour read(s)

Well, that's not cool.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2017/11/16/al-franken-kissed-and-groped-me-without-my-consent-broadcaster-leeann-tweeden-says

Some might wonder if it would start getting a little more uncomfortable right now to be someone's friend or girlfriend or sister if he also had...

Nevermind. Society for Professional Excusers of Sexist Behavior.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-has-nominated-480-people-so-far-in-his-presidency-80-of-them-are-men

What...

I keep reading things like this

http://theweek.com/articles/737056/myth-male-bumbler 

and eating really healthy...but do my female problems require more???

Dilemma...the ultrasound said....

The problem was on the left, but the pain is on the right...

Wouldn't it be great if this were not a problem.


"It was hardly the first time Pryor had mistreated a woman."
https://www.gq.com/story/all-the-bad-comedy-men/amp

"Bullying can be contagious."
https://www.listland.com/10-surprising-reasons-why-bullies-succeed-at-work/

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Puppy eyes!

It's the human experience. Between 2:30 and 3:30 this woman is just talking about her day and she sounds stressed out and then she stops to take care of her little dog...it was so touching and human...and the adorable puppy eyes!!!

I feel like people need to eat more greens. Eat in a salad, eat in a saute, eat with bone broth in a soup!

Breakfast with the Internet

First:

THE WOMEN AND THE CREDIT CARD$$$$

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/forty-years-ago-women-had-a-hard-time-getting-credit-cards-180949289/

Next:

"Other women who played along with their bosses expressed a degree of shame, as well as pride. 'Men have their fraternities and golf games to get ahead. Why shouldn’t I have used the advantage of my sexuality to my benefit? God, what else was I supposed to do?' says one woman in her early 50s."

https://www.thecut.com/2017/11/rebecca-traister-on-the-post-weinstein-reckoning.html

Finally...whose mom was a cheerleader???

Bring It On (2000) opening

Or dad...sorry...


Monday, November 13, 2017

Thank you for the tips

From "Healthline":

*changing your diet and keeping your stress levels down 

*stopping high-intensity workouts or activities that overwhelm you

https://www.healthline.com/health/prolactin#treatment8

And a few others...

As for disabling dysmenorrhea, would not wish it on anyone, anywhere...

http://www.pcrm.org/health/health-topics/using-foods-against-menstrual-pain

Balloons, coins, confetti...

It was almost...there was potential for creativity and joy and fun and creativity and even money and then it was something else. It became a world where some men are good at devaluing women and some women devalue other women because of fear. Men devalue women because they were taught to devalue their feminine sides early on and women do it so they can fit in and get any measure of support possible.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Lesson: never make pesto with stale pinenuts

A terrible waste of basil and olive oil... It will not taste better the next day... Adding lemon won't help either.

Mixed Blessing

In a way it's a good thing libraries are closed today because I need to divest myself of more books but in the meantime it would be good to order Hunger...

What may be!!!

"The students bound out of the classroom, wearing their period stains with pride. Soon the school’s co-principal pops in to say he’s never had a year 8 student come up to him before declaring, 'Look, sir, this is my period stain.' They are 'buzzing,' he says. Quint, never one to miss an opportunity, hands him a period stain badge to keep in his office. She dreams of a world in which it is no big deal to ask your headmaster for a tampon. It might not be so far away – Quint has just got Sheffield to vow to become the first #periodpositive city..."

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/nov/11/periods-menstruation-liberation-women-activists-abigail-radnor

Ideal

female &&& thinner &&& smaller &&& rolling over &&& going along with letting them treat women like crap for $$$ candidates

Might be noticeable

"According to the nonprofit California Housing Partnership Corp., median rent, adjusted for inflation, increased more than 30% from 2000 to 2015, while the median income was flat."

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-homeless-count-20170530-story.html

This is kind of like a dream I had

More healthcare.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/danica-roem-to-push-for-transgender-healthcare-along-with-focus-on-traffic/2017/11/10/cd024312-c62b-11e7-afe9-4f60b5a6c4a0_story.html

I dreamt about arguing with a girl about transgender people (something silly, can't recall the details, but an overall impression that she was disgusted by them) and then getting "kicked out" of someplace that was sort of a quiet communal living area (and so was she, and so was everyone, so I wondered who would be left?) Then it ended with going to a facility that needed to be cleaned because some sick, neglected, homeless people had been there.

Sometimes, esp. when dealing with icky health issues, I have felt like the line between me and a homeless person is very thin. I am definitely lucky to have a certain amount of help right now. The difference is, some people are lucky enough to have support which makes them very successful vs. some people are lucky enough to have support that keeps one from being homeless or dead.

Well. Time to go feed a cat (who is also no longer homeless!)

Intwesting...

"Maternal mortality halved in California while it doubled in the US." ~ https://qz.com/1108193/whats-killing-americas-new-mothers/

And I love her....

So I will find her some new songs and practices and habits.

I want to cry. Honestly feeling like my body is a tougher teacher than any hardcore macho physical fitness instructor out there, but she doesn't want me to be like that. I need to find alternate ways of success because of her. I can't fit in where others seem to because of her, so I have to make a new path. What a demanding teacher. I have felt almost worn down by symptoms and have been very healthy with my diet... isn't a healthy diet for a few days enough? Like a child who needs balance and nurturing, this body needs more than a few days of healthy food...and because of this, I still see where I need to make a lot of changes & improvements. She is demanding that I find joy and peace and kindness and dignity. She shapes my life. I love her.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Come on...

I really feel like, if you care about having kids, you should care about women's health care, too. Doesn't it make sense? Wouldn't you like to be able to say you gave kids a better system? NOT A WORSE ONE? Why have things gotten worse and why is this such a flawed health care system for women? 

TLDR: You could skim the pull quotes and subheads.

People, human beings, men and women and children, deserve better.




Culture Culture Culture

SIGH. This is not a surprise.

A woman who "actually finds men rather better to work for than women" has to let Sean Hannity know how "disgusting" and "like poison" a woman is to her, so he  appreciates her and gets all Ten Commandments-y and biblical about it.

"If I was employing someone now, would I employ a woman, especially if I was a man, no I would not. And women like this do women like me a massive disservice."

https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/11/09/sean-hannity-chastises-women-who-spoke-out-about-roy-moore-now-we-do-have-ten-commandments-one/218505

Poor Katie.

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/colbert-these-accusations-against-roy-moore-are-so-damning-voters-will-make-him-president/

How To

recover from a crushing
wave of masculine success 
which you cannot emulate
(or perhaps you could but it's as if you are morally not allowed)

DO THE DISHES AND LISTEN TO MUSIC


Today's Nanowrimo Topic

HOW TO RAISE A DAUGHTER TO HAVE YOUR DREAM WEDDING



Damien Lefevre Love Is In The Air Video Il Viaggo Photo And Film

But but but...

Maybe I should have thought "YOUR SON"....

Why didn't I think of that first...


Wednesday, November 08, 2017

If there is a song to sing...

I guess I had better song a song of female health...baby come back...body restore yourself to its happiest state...universe  bring health and balance and joy and healing...

It's icky to have "female health problems" waking me up early...so tiring and exhausting to be up so early dealing with them. Couldn't we get better at giving people support and healing...What gives....how about a compassionate higher power...it would be better...

Healing progress
Healing patience
Healing people

Make signs of waves


Monday, November 06, 2017

Lol frequency

Radio station (88.7) didn't know if it's some deep toning bell/bowl stuff or sitar music and guys who might singing about Krishna???

http://kspc.org/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://kislavalon.com/

She's going to make me get wise

My body is a teacher.
This is my life and genetic programming.
She's going to make me get healthy.
She's going to make me change.

Be a healer.
It's okay to be an imperfect healer.
Being an imperfect healer is good.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

Pillow pillow pillow

Sooo tired of health issues.
Time to pray again.
I welcome rest, rejuvenation, healing, relief from symptoms...

Tiny but truthful

Sometimes the children of people who are not being as compassionate as they could be will grow up to be about ten times wiser and more compassionate than their own parents were...it happens and it will happen again. I still don't understand why some people end up treating women in awful ways during times of stress. It's really sad and it's unnecessary. I don't know why they do it but it seems to come out of some sort of method of survival that is not in accordance with who they might be in better times. It's a form of unnecessary bullying and it will not last forever. Maybe in a way this is also what angry or depressed energies can do to a person. Even though they are there because it's part of survival, there will be a time when they can quiet down and there will be more peace and balance and harmony.

Saturday, November 04, 2017

Imagine all...

The people... http://www.thecalifornian.com/story/life/2017/09/20/what-youshould-knowabout-pcos-polycystic-ovary-syndrome/685595001/
Developing intelligence and sensitivity...

Are you sad because you feel that people are being careless and making the world and the environment worse for their children?

Yes.
Yes, because people don't think long term when money is involved and they prefer to conform and go with mass groupthink.

This is how they fall into behavior patterns of greed and bullying and sexism. Both men and women end up treating women worse. Then they tell themselves they are winners and it's not what it could be.

I wonder why? Maybe they have to conform to certain standards to feel adequate or "stronger than" (not just strong, but "stronger than") and push down any sense of inadequacy they received as children.

Huh!

Women have an affinity for ghosts???

https://www.bustle.com/p/i-went-to-a-haunted-hotel-to-find-out-why-women-are-so-obsessed-with-seeing-ghosts-3006649

WHY IS THAT

How about I go off on a WILD tangent. IS IT BECAUSE THEY WERE TREATED LIKE CRAP AND DIED IN CHILDBIRTH FOR CENTURIES AND CENTURIES AND CENTURIES. Because the offspring of people who don't care about women's health have come back and are trying to make it worse instead of better apparently.

Well that says a lot

Wisconsin GOP lawmaker says women should be forced to give birth to grow the labor force 
Yes, he said this in 2017.

Congratulations, you have a girl!

Oh gosh, I can't wait until she realizes her main goal in life is to be an incubator  to grow the labor force! Do we really have to wait until she has her first period to start teaching her this important lesson?

But what if she either can't have kids or doesn't want to?
Oh we don't even talk about those freaks of nature.

Have you done your part to make your daughter feel like an incubator for the labor force today?

Sometimes if you don't get angry, you get depressed and have a hard time getting through the day. Maybe it's healthier to just be angry.

11/4/2017

There's turmoil.
It's a weird, hard time.
It really is.

Even so, when I drag myself out somewhere I might unexpectedly meet a teenage boy who wants what he's making to be the color pink, "if that's okay."

;^)

The rest of the day?

Sweetness and light and nature!!!



Ah, so....

Now it comes out.

https://www.avclub.com/alec-baldwin-i-certainly-have-treated-women-in-a-very-1820130423

Well, I am sure he was also surrounded by groups of women who felt that sort of behavior really wasn't all that bad...

After all...

https://www.avclub.com/julianna-margulies-says-both-harvey-weinstein-and-steve-1820143618

It could have been worse?

W...w...w...ow...

This is simply amazing advice from a feminist with Ph D.

http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/christina-hoff-sommers-interview-monster-harvey-weinstein-campus-kangaroo-courts-and


She has clearly found her niche, and she'll be writing all about how this scourge of female privilege and McCarthyism has devastated and demoralized those who are unable to articulate it for themselves.


Reading

Often missing in the health care debate: Women's voices

"I am encouraged by the number of young women who are active and participating in affecting change," she said. "That wasn't true when I was growing up." ~  Phyllis Sandel, 89

What this hour says

Today is a day to prepare for a medical test I had before. Its not fun and it did not help before so I don't want to have it again but I guess it rules out other stuff.

We need to get better at being compassionate healers. Some people are really good at it. We deserve a world where people are treated with compassion and kindness and dignity and where they are given good medical care.

I am having a certain experience on earth.


Thursday, November 02, 2017

Eeesh

But brother...

Nope. Too late.
It's all about him and his masculine role models now.

History book heroine

I can imagine Jackie Robinson in heaven rooting for Anita.

https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/anita-hill-on-weinstein-trump-and-a-watershed-moment-for-sexual-harassment-accusations

Because even yesterday some young women were telling me how even today they get treated a lot differently than their brothers...

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

Feliz Dia de los Muertos


Grimes ~ Kill V. Maim

Again, because it's a favorite.

Again, some thoughts.

One might sigh

Isn't Hollywood awful.

http://variety.com/2017/tv/columns/harvey-weinstein-sexual-assault-me-too-television-hollywood-1202591406/amp/

So glad other industries aren't as awful as Hollywood...

Oops.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/top-newsroom-official-at-npr-resigns-amid-harassment-allegations/2017/11/01/d26d682c-bf1e-11e7-8444-a0d4f04b89eb_story.html

It would seem that some of the less intelligent dudes in the $ports industry are probably still $afe and cozy...for now....

'Cause their gifts are like magic.

What else I didn't used to know

White evangelicals are some of the most self-serving, untrustworthy, un-Jesus emulating people I have ever met. The person most of them voted for embodies their values: degrading women and worshipping money.

Jesus was a feminist.
Jesus was not a white evangelical.

What I didn't used to know

If I were a woman who is blond and blue-eyed and easily impregnated I would matter more to this society. If I were more blind to the system's injustices and if I were good at fawning over men and telling them how great they are, I would be labelled as desirable. They would reward me and want me to be around, to continue to feed their egos.

We need to evolve a lot

A compassionate society would integrate people with illnesses and disabilities instead of punishing them. It would not devalue you because of genetics.